Social anxiety the struggle

Many people get nervous or self-conscious on occasion for example delivering a speech sets a lot of people on edge, but social anxiety is more than that. You fear that you’ll embarrass yourself and it becomes so intense that you avoid all situations involving opportunities to do so. But no matter how severe or intense the shyness and butterflies are you can take control of it.  I haven’t always had social anxiety, it crept up on me slowly and hit like a ton of bricks. It started in the summer of 2014, at the time I didn’t have many friends who liked to socialise (funnily enough I don’t really talk to them much anymore since my group transfer) so I found myself stuck at home a lot. A week of not leaving the house turned into two, then three and before I knew it I hadn’t left my house in 6 weeks. It wasn’t until I had to that the panic attacks came, and boy did they come! I would cry uncontrollably, I couldn’t breathe and my legs would weaken just walking to the door. It was a huge struggle to get me out of the front doorway. School was also hard, people looked at me funny all the time because I would be shaking or on the verge of tears most of the time. I found that so many people didn’t understand and so they would turn to the only thing they knew how to do and that was gossip. It made school that much harder because along with not wanting to leave the house, I felt like a freak (which was the starting point of my depression).  I had to start slowly, in steps to build myself back up again. I would start by trying to leave my house, taking a walk just to the end of my road and back which wasn’t easy at first but as I began to feel more comfortable doing that I took it a step further. each time I only went a little further than before in order to prevent scaring myself too much. It took me several months to feel comfortable going outside but to this day I still struggle to walk alone and talking to people on tills or strangers isn’t possible for me without panicking. It does take a huge part of your life away, nothing is as it was before and it’s like you have start again, but it’s not the end of everything.  For me (as everyone is different) some days are worse than others and different situations prove a new challenge but instead of giving up on myself I try to keep my cool and breathe through every moment taking it one minuet at a time. Keeping a positive mind also helps a lot! There were so many times where I wanted to give up trying and just not leave my house but if I had done that I would never have got to experience the new things I have or meet my best friends. I also wouldn’t have had the courage to talk to my good friend Lauren when things weren’t going well in my old friend group and if I had of given in I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
If you are suffering from social anxiety and struggling to control it here are some ways that I found useful to cope with it, I hope they help you as much as they helped me:

1. Breathing exercises. inhale for 6 hold for 5 and release for 8, do this repetitively.
2. Look around you for 3 different objects, start describing them to yourself: colour, size, shape, what it is and what its used for.
3.  Tell yourself a positive thought or how doing particular social events (small or large) could help you in the long run.
4. Take each minute slowly and close your eyes (if you need to) to collect your thoughts together and calm down.
5. Find a friend you trust and let them help you to calm down, they won’t judge you they just want to help!
6. Never doubt yourself, you are strong and you CAN do this!

I’m always here if anyone needs/wants to talk, I’ll be happy to help
Lyn x