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Support is okay

28/5/2019

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“I’m fine.” Two simple words. These two words can be both meaningless and worrying — It can signal nonchalantness or sadness and you could never tell the difference. 


In this article, I want to talk about how to identify people’s emotions through their words and seeking help. “I’m fine” are two words that are most commonly used yet can be so dangerous at the same time. Be honest, have you ever said this and not meant it? I think we all have. Think back to that time, that time may even be now and consider that if someone had questioned you, would you have told the truth? Did you seek help? Did you WANT to seek help? These are all important questions that can help someone else if needed. This article will also encourage you to seek help when you need it and how to go forth with this. I will also include tips on how to feel better through contact with other people — in fact, being in physical contact with another person is so essential to your mental health. 

My name is Lukas and I’m 14 years old. Last year was a very bad year for me — I struggled with depression, anxiety and self harm. “I’m fine.” was a very common phrase that I used almost daily even if I was completely falling apart and I see now that I should’ve seeked help form people who could truly give me help instead of ignoring the actual problem. If I had done this, my mental torment would’ve been solved much sooner. I want to help others reach the point in which I’ve reached. I want to help people learn to seek help when you need it, not just ignore your problems and hope they’ll go away — this rarely happens. 

Being a teenager is difficult. I’m not going to sugar coat it and lie. Being a teenager is difficult and the mental struggles you go through are multiplied in your mind due to already rapidly increasing hormone rates, not to mention that school is relentless in work and study. There’s always so much trouble as it is and you don’t want to cause anymore, right? That’s definitely not the right mindset to have — you should remember that your mental health and physical health out weighs anything else and if you need help, you will never be considered a burden if you talk to the right person. For example, your counsellor would be an excellent option because they would be someone who is trained in this area and is more than willing to help. Going without help when you need it for extended periods of time has a very negative impact on your mental health and saying to others that you are okay creates its own issue. Here are the tips I have for helping you out. 
  • Remember that it’s okay to need help and it is in no way shameful to want a listening ear to help you through your issues at the time. There’s nothing wrong with it.
  • You deserve as much happiness as the next person and you shouldn’t let anybody take that away from you. Just because someone has worse issue’s than you, doesn’t mean they are valued more. 
  • If you see someone looking away or forcing a smile when you ask them if they’re all right, they are most likely lying. Don’t press too hard but try and speak to them about their problems. 
  • Remember to be supportive of those who are going through problems! Don’t be the person who tries to top them when they are talking about their personal problems. 
  • Be the person you would want. If you find yourself speaking to someone in need of help, think to yourself if you would want to be spoken to that way and if so, continue and see how they feel. 
  • Remember to check up on your friends frequently — one day they could be fine and the next their life could be completely falling apart and you could be the one to help them through their struggles. 
  • Don’t shame people for needing help. Instead of being unsupportive, try and help them develop a better attitude and better mental strength because remember — we’re all in this together. 


In conclusion, I wanted to talk about how you can be a supportive friend/lover/sibling or anything else. It’s good to talk about ourselves frequently but it’s no use if we are still unable to help each other. It’s so important that we help people who have the same struggles as we do and by reading this, I hope you’ve gained some extra knowledge on that!!

​Lukas

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Teenagers With Experience is an organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on  a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form found on our home page.