For around two or three years, I would swear to you up and down I was gay. But sometimes things change. I recently realised I was pansexual, rather than gay.
For those of you who don’t know, pansexual means I have a sexual attraction to all genders. Panromantic is having a romantic attraction for all genders. People who are pansexual and panromantic usually just say pansexual. Contrary to belief, it is not the same thing as bisexual/biromantic. Bisexual/biromantic is attraction towards two genders, male and female. Pansexual/panromantic includes people all over the spectrum like non-binary, agender, and others.
One day I was at work and I was talking to a guy, he was new. That’s the day I realised something was different. At that point, I was with someone who was gender-fluid, but later realised he was transgender. I shrugged off the sudden attraction to a guy as nothing. After a while, I was single again and decided to investigate what was going on with me. The attraction for this boy had not gone away.
I messaged him on Facebook and we got talking. The more we talked and I learned about him the attraction grew. I finally told him we should meet outside of work. We went into a lot of deep conversation topics and we discussed interests and I realise now I didn’t shut up most of that day. When I did shut up and he was talking about something he was passionate about, I was in awe. That was the moment I realised that attraction I have been feeling, it was not a friendly one.
A few days after that day, we met again and I kissed him. We have been together since then. Since then I have also been extremely confused. Before this one boy confused the hell out of my brain, I had thought lots of other people were attractive and I always found them more attractive after I learned more about their personalities.
This was when I realised I was pansexual. I was not straight but I wasn’t gay. But I knew the problem was that I wasn’t bisexual either. I had no idea what was happening.
If you’re going through this right now:
People change, and that’s alright. Sometimes it’s their personalities that change or who they’re attracted to or what gender they identify as. Just remember, no matter who you are you will always be valid. Anyone who thinks otherwise don’t deserve you. If you need advice, feel free to email us or contact us through our social media.
Teenagers With Experience is an organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form found on our home page.