You don't have to conform
Disclaimer: I am not in any way trying to bash people who conform to labels, if you’ve found a label that you feel describes you then that is great and I am really happy for you.
Why categorise yourself? Don’t get me wrong, if you want to label yourself there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, its super great. But I don’t think that anybody should feel pressured to conform to a label if they don’t want to. Feelings aren’t black and white, because it’s not comparable to anything, so I believe that it is 100% okay for somebody to not conform. If you don’t feel that you fit the definition of a label or know how you feel it is completely okay to say, ‘yeah, I just like people’ rather the spending time hung up on the fact that you may have to come out and trying to fit yourself into a category. You might identify as a female and have liked guys your whole life and one day like another female. AND THAT IS OKAY. You might not like another female after that AND THAT IS OKAY.
You do not have to label yourself as anything if you don’t want to. You have the right to feel however you want and call yourself whatever you want and nobody has the right to tell you otherwise because you are your own person and get to label yourself as whatever you want. Don’t ever let people make you feel invalid for your feelings.
A label puts you into a box which some people can find awesome but it may make others uncomfortable. If you’re comfortable with labelling yourself a sexuality and find one that fits you well, then that is great. But if not, you don’t have to spend your time stressing about it. There might be a certain body type, eye colour, or hair colour that we are exclusively attracted to. Yet we don’t label ourselves with those preferences, so why label ourselves with anything else like sexuality if you don’t feel comfortable with it.
Ultimately you are going to like people that you like more for who they are rather than what they are, and that is what’s super great about feelings. You don’t need a social “name badge” to justify how you are feeling. Personally, I don’t like to conform to sexuality labels, I have liked mainly guys and I do think I’ll probably end up with a guy, however I’ve definitely had legitimate feelings for a girl before and I wouldn’t rule that out. However, I prefer not to label myself because ultimately it doesn’t really achieve anything in my mind because I already know exactly how I feel.
I think the key is that I’m happy with the way I regard my sexuality, and you should be too. Call yourself whatever you’d like as long as it makes you happy and don’t hate on others for either not labelling themselves or choosing to label themselves because everybody is different.
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The articles here are written by guest writers or previous TWE members.