Learning to love yourself can be very difficult, even to this day I have days where I feel positive about myself and other days where I feel so awful and negative. I'm trying my best to get to a point where I'm happy with myself though. Here are some of my tips for ways to love yourself:
Even if you're not happy with yourself, you can grow and evolve and start to become completely content with yourself. You are yours before anyone else's. So maybe rather than hating every inch of your being, you get up with a smile make yourself a cup of coffee and find one thing that you like about yourself. Whether it's the way your eyes twinkle in the moonlight or how fiercely competitive you are. Just be you. -Mei :3 x
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Sex. Lots of people do it, but there is still a huge stigma surrounding it, particularly the idea of losing your virginity. I feel like this can present it as scary and unpleasant and as long as it is consensual and you are comfortable it shouldn’t be. Hopefully I can make you feel a little more comfortable about everything and be helpful in some way. First and foremost, you are allowed to decide what you believe amounts to sex, you should never feel pressured and you are ready when you’re ready, you should never feel like you have to do anything that you don’t want to, somebody else’s sexual experiences are not your responsibility.
You are ALWAYS allowed to say no even if you are in a long term relationship or have done it with the same person before, if you’re not into it or are even a little unsure then you can say no. You are not rude. Equally, you are not entitled to it and you shouldn’t make someone feel guilty about not waiting to engage in sexual acts even if you are doing them and they aren’t reciprocating because by making them feel guilty they could feel pressured and it is your choice to do those things. I would also like to emphasise that you are allowed to say no at any point before or during sex as long as the other person is aware of your decision. So your first time... It can be great but it’s not going to be magical, it’s unlikely to be like something from a romantic movie or like fireworks at dawn. (I’m going to mainly focus on females having heterosexual sex because that is what I can draw experience from for advice.). It can be awkward and sweaty with you both a bit unsure of what you’re doing, fumbling around. This is okay though, most people experience this and with time and practice you can improve together. To get past this you’ve just got to make sure that you’re doing it with someone that you trust and are 100% comfortable with. Lots of people make a point of the fact that ‘losing your virginity will hurt and you will bleed but that doesn’t have to happen, you just have to prepare. So one thing I’m going to suggest is lube it up, this should help and if you’re not into it, it will hurt most likely hurt if you are having penetrative sex so foreplay is important and stopping feelings of anxiety or discomfort is essential for a good experience. The issue is that people often put a lot of meaning on ‘losing your virginity’. But you’re not really losing anything and this idea is dumb. The concept of virginity is a made up social construct that perpetuates the idea that women are precious little flowers who are missing something and will be spoiled by a penis. If anything, you’re gaining an experience and no matter how you do this, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of this no matter when your first time was because you get to decide what time stands out to you and which felt the most special and that under no means has to be your first time. The main thing I think is important is to stay safe and be happy, there are lots of methods of birth control although none are 100% effective against pregnancy. However, as long as you’re using one you should be relatively safe and not something you should actively be worrying about enough to let it ruin your experience and if this is difficult you could try doubling up e.g condoms and the pill. Condoms however are the only contraceptives that protect against STDs so you should ideally use these, particularly if you don’t know someone else or their sexual history. So stay safe and stay happy guys hope this lil pep talk helped in some way. Mei x *Disclaimer: anxiety manifests differently in different people and it is subjective to individual people and it is unlikely that my exact experiences align with other people’s experience. *
“It feels like I am enclosed in an all-encompassing bubble, isolated from the rest of the world, surrounded by overwhelming feelings all of the time; even when there aren’t any feelings left to feel.” Anxiety can be all consuming and tiring and having a partner with anxiety can in itself be difficult. My first and most important tip is that they don’t want you to fix them, they just want you to be there you know? Tell them that it will all be alright and most importantly that you are there for them. People with anxiety are often so susceptible to suicidal thoughts and low moods because of the constant worry and overthinking so just look out for them and try to make them happy okay? They need you even if they don’t always tell you. My second piece of advice is try to be patient and not get frustrated, I know it must be super difficult because we need constant reassurance and struggle with change and say sorry a lot and ask if we are annoying you so often it must drive you up the wall. We know they can often seem irrational- it’s just like thoughts, so many thoughts that race around your mind so intensely that they blur the other thoughts, they shine the brightest and are all we can think about and there’s so much thinking and you convince yourself that these thoughts have some level of truth in them. Try to remember, anxiety disorders are not purely caused by them and their thoughts – there are chemical as well. Those with anxiety really do know that their fears shouldn't bother them, but as hard as they try they can't stop, and expecting them to use logic to control their anxiety is so tricky. Telling us to “relax,” “calm down,” or that something is “no big deal” doesn’t help their anxiety. Panic attacks. Don’t underestimate them please. Yeah, you might see them cry, or zone out and stop being present or be a little grumpy, I often have trouble with breathing. But you aren’t in their head. It’s mainly internal, it feels like nothing will ever be okay again and all the noises are too loud and lights are too bright, and you struggle to talk. It feels like how I imagine drowning feels, you feel the waves around you and suddenly a wave comes and engulfs you. It's like being caught in waves. They’re so powerful. They drag you down to the bottom and the water starts to feel like its filling up your lungs breath by breath. You’re separated from the real world whilst the sounds are echoing in the water and you feel so powerless and claustrophobic. In my experience, it is horrible but you can’t usually externally see that. It is important to know what they want in this scenario as it is often specific to the person, so ask them. Some people like being left alone, I like air and lots of it and if I’m with my significant other, I want hugs and hair stroking and told that it will be okay (lol I’m a bit needy) but just ask them and just do your best to make sure you’re there for them, you don’t need to lecture them or tell them to calm down, you just have to make them feel safe. Remember to try and be proud of them when they improve. They'll be able to see it on your face- they’ll know if you feel disappointed in them. Remember that anxiety changes thought patterns and can make people think and feel much more negatively, which unfortunately means that many of them are going to read your facial expressions, assuming you're annoyed with them or ashamed of them. Try and let this person know that they can talk to you without any fear of judgment. It's important to know that you're there to listen, and that you aren't going to judge them or change the way you think/feel about them based on anything they say - even if they say the same fear over and over and over and over again. Maybe let them call you if they ever have a panic attack or start spiralling as it can be incredibly comforting. Anxiety can make people feel lost and alone so knowing that someone is a phone call away helps. I hope you found this somewhat helpful, we don’t want to be this way anymore than you want us to be this way but remember, you being there means the world and you really are our hero when you are there. Please gang, don’t put your own mental health after us however when you can be there for us, even if you don’t understand our feelings, you are good people. If you clicked on this article because you’re have a relationship/friendship with someone with anxiety and want to help then well done, you are a pretty amazing human -Mei Maintain your health
-Get a good amount of sleep. HYDRATE; you will learn best in your best physical state, water stops headaches and energises you. Have snacks, try to keep them healthy however make sure you’re getting food. If you have anxiety, although I don’t stick to this, avoid coffee, it will just make you feel worse. Note take efficiently -Find out what at type of a learner you are; kinaesthetic, visual or auditory then look up methods specific to target this. It’ll mean you absorb more information Try to keep a designated study space -This way your brain will associate your studying with this space and it’s less likely that you will switch off. It means you can also limit distractions. Try to separate it from distractions, designate one room in your house and use it consistently or use a library. Make sure you keep it clean and organise your supplies. Use all of the time that you don’t do anything in. -Do you get public transport to school? How much time do you spend sitting around not doing anything? Waiting for dinner to cook or the kettle to boil or bath to run, utilise your time! It’d make your life a lot simpler. Also wake up early and use your mornings this is some of your most valuable time. Put in the effort from day one -Set goals. Manage your time wisely, make a timetable and stick to it. Prepare yourself, buy yourself new stationary and pack your bag the night before use to do lists regularly, they can really benefit you. PLAN, planners can really help you use your time wisely and feel good about yourself, limiting the stress. Writing everything on a wall calendar can be helpful because it means that you’re able to see it all of the time so you don’t forget anything. Make sure you never skip lessons unless you’re unwell. Try to get your homework done. Keep on top of things -Read ahead whilst also making sure you’re keeping on top of your current work. Do a little every day rather than cramming before a test. Make notes in classes and then review them when you get home and then set aside time a few days later to rewrite them into a study guide using examples and preferred study method. Maybe also make flashcards that you’re able to review every few days and before every test, that way it is a lot easier to retain the knowledge for your official tests, it keeps it active in your mind and makes recall earlier. Speaking of, put your all into revising for every test, even the stupid little in class ones because this will really help in the long run and it’ll all stick. Make revision a habit. Participate -speak up and ask a teacher whether you stay behind and ask for help after class or ask during. They are there to help you but they aren’t mind readers. Also volunteering your answers and participating in class will resonate with you and help broaden your knowledge. Study groups -They can be beneficial but only if you find the right people who are going to motivate rather than distract. Use what you know -put the things that you are learning into context of things that you do know. Psychology states that this is the most effective way to learn. Maybe use examples or mnemonics. Practice -Teach it to someone else, this will really help you because it means that you are able to understand it in the simplest terms and you can maintain your knowledge. Use practice paper papers then take note of your weaknesses so you can improve on them. If you have projects or tasks, break them down. Spend ten minutes before bed going over flashcards. Finally, don’t overwhelm yourself, take breaks to refocus and remember how lucky you are to have access to an education. Focus on your goals and how your work will pay off. Imbolc is a festival of purification and a celebration of the first signs of spring which occurs on the 2nd of February in the northern hemisphere and the 2nd of August in the Southern Hemisphere.It signifies the start of the physical changes that prepare for spring such milk beginning to form in the udders of the livestock such as sheep in preparation for the first births of spring. Imbolc also honours the goddess of fire, fertility, midwifery and young called Brigid. Many Wiccans, Pagans, etc, pay tribute to Brigid by rearranging their alters and invoking them through prayer, etc. However there are many other ways in which Wiccans (or people of other religions that celebrate this holiday) participate in the celebration of Imbolc.
Many people participate in spring cleaning on the eve of Imbolc (or a couple of days before) in preparation for a visit from the goddess. Some people use birch to sweep their floors or just place some birch wood on their alters as birch is highly associated with Briged and purification. Making the Brideog is a tradition that is known to be done by a the man of the house but this isn't always the case. It involves fashioning long pieces of straw and other things into the shape of a doll in which is then dressed in a white dress and decorated in greenery. After she is finished some sprinkle sacred water onto the doll whilst speaking invocations to Brigid. Brigit's Crosses is the most widely practiced ritual associated with the celebration of Imbolc in which involves weaving crosses out of straw in which are then sprinkled with sacred water whilst asking Brigid for her blessings and protection. These crosses are hung up in hallways, entries to dwellings, above children's beds, etc and the old crosses should be placed on the attic. These crosses help cast protection. Divination The eve of Imbolc is the best time of the year to perform divinations specifically pertaining to the future welfare and prosperity of your family. On the eve of Imbolc many people have an imbolc feast in which their family or friends get together to prepare and celebrate Imbolc. Some people eat certain foods associated with the goddess. Many religions celebrate Imbolc and everyone may celebrate this holiday differently. This is based on my own knowledge and research and is not a representation of all the different religions that celebrate this holiday. This is just a basic guide on how some people celebrate this holiday/sabbath. -Naomi Ostara is celebrated in many religions other than wicca and everyone may follow wicca in a slightly different way, so this may not relate to everyone. However, Ostara is the celebration of the spring equinox. (The change from winter into spring. Ostara usually occurs between the 19th and 21st of march (in the northern hemisphere) and celebrates the Spring Maiden and Horned God, who represent the characteristics of the new season, spring. Ostara, is an Anglo-Saxon goddess who is known to represent dawn and be the spring goddess. As a spring goddess she is known to oversee all of the things that occur in spring such as the budding of plants plants and increase of fertility in animals. The Horned God, sometimes symbolizes the festive enjoyment of nature through hunting and dancing. During Ostara you will see many symbols of eggs, rabbits, flowers and seeds (as you would at ester) as these things celebrate the occurrences that happen in spring. They also may be incorporated into rituals and altars.
The colours that are associated with Ostara are: Pink, Green, Yellow, Pale Blue and purple. Crystals that are associated with Ostara are: Amethyst, Aquamarine, Rose Quartz and Moonstone. Some people create healing grids with these crystals or charge them with a specific intent and place them in specific areas around the house. The herbs, Plants & Spices that are associated with Ostara that may be used is spells, cooking decorating or gardening includes: Crocus, Daffodil, Honeysuckle, Iris, Jasmine, Rose, Peony, Violets and Tulips. There are many different ways to celebrate Ostara as many people follow different traditions depending on their religion or personal preferences. However, during this time almost everyone celebrating Ostara is celebrating the changes in nature and attempting to connect/become one with nature. During this time many people eat traditional foods or use ingredients associated with nature such as leafy green vegetables (lettuce), dairy foods (milk), nuts, ect. However, not everyone does this. Another way in which people may celebrate Ostara is by painting fresh eggs with homemade dyes or hosting an egg hunt. One ritual that people may take part in is asking for a blessing for growth and new beginings: To do this the person is usually wearing loosely fitting clothing and will sit in a comfortable position, with good posture and balance. They will then light a candle that is either white or pastel. They will then write out a blessing for growth and new beginnings before placing it at the bottom of a planting pot. They will then cover the blessing with soil before putting in some seeds into the soil and sprinkling with moon water. They will then either blow out the candle straight away or blow out the candle after taking a bite of a Hot Cross Bun and drinking a sip of tea, alternating until their are both gone. I hope this article helped you understand a little more about Ostara or helped you think of ways to celebrate it. -Naomi The key to minimising stress and negative thoughts is to have a positive environment. The main environmental in which you can change to create a more positive environment is your bedroom. Here are a list of ways in which you can make your bedroom into a positive environment:
1) keep it clean: keeping your room clean allows you to easily find your important objects. This minimises stress as you know where everything is and are able to feel more comfortable and relax easier. 2) Decorate - Decorate your room in bright colours. Dark colours will make your room seem smaller and is known to worsen the effects of depression and stress if you spend a lot of time in a small dark room. 3) natural light - Try to maximise the amount of natural light that enters your bedroom. For example, make sure that there is nothing blocking your window and always open your curtains in the morning. 4) Add lots of green - I'm not talking about the colour but I actually mean plants. Plants help to purify the air and caring for something will help you to stay focused and will help you to stay determined. 5) Don't sleep where you work - Never do your homework, coursework or any kind of work in your bedroom! Your bedroom should be a place you go to relax. So doing all of your work in another room will make it easier to relax when you go to your bedroom. All of these things will help you to create a positive environment in which will help to decrease stress, depression, negative energy and insomnia. These things may not work for everyone but if you keep trying new things then you will find something that works for you. -Naomi Stress Awareness Month has been held every April, since 1992.
During this annual awareness month, health care professionals and health promotion experts across the country join together in order to increase public awareness about both the causes and cures for our modern stress. This is sponsored by The Health Resource Network, which is a non-profit health education organization. Stress Awareness Month is a national, cooperative effort in order to correctly inform people about the dangers of stress if it is not addressed or treated, successful coping strategies, and harmful misconceptions about stress. “Even though we’ve learned a lot about stress in the past twenty years, “says Dr. Morton C. Orman, M.D., Founder and Director of HRN, “we’ve got a long way to go. New information is now available that could help millions of Americans eliminate their suffering.” Stress is the body's natural response to a change in the environment or a change in the amount of work you are doing. Everyone gets stressed sometimes but, sometimes it can build up and cause all sorts of problems. It can cause you to procrastinate and fall behind on your work; it can cause you to put off doing certain things or going to certain places. Stress can also cause insomnia and other sleep disorders. You can get involved in awareness month by sharing you best tips and tricks on how to reduce/cope with stress. This will others be able to identify what will help them as it will allow them to discover new things. I know from my own experience that stress can encourage you to procrastinate in which results in you verging on the work you need to do. That caused more stress because you being to panic over the fact you don't have certain things done one time and it just affects your mental health in all sorts of ways. Therefore, it is very important to keep your stress levels down so I am going to list my three best pieces of advice that may help you keep your stress levels to a minimum. 1. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep can be the cause of some of your stress as you will be tired and may find it harder to face day-to-day problems. However, stress actually causes a lot of people to loose sleep as you end up constantly thinking and you end up unable to 'shut your brain off.' I recommend that you make sure you find a way to relax before going to bed, such as taking a warm bath, as this will help you to feel more comfortable and may help you fall asleep. I also recommend trying to go to bed earlier and having a set sleeping schedule so that you ensure you are getting enough sleep. 2. Meditation. Mediation, if done regularly, can reduce your stress levels or even help prevent your stress levels from being elevated as it helps to ground you as well as helping you relax and be able to focus more on the tasks you have to do. You should try to meditate every morning or every other morning to help focus your mind so that you can think more realistically about the tasks you have to do . 3. Making sure you have alone time. Sometimes constantly being in social environments, like being with friends/family, can elevate your stress levels. This is because you may feel a pressure to enjoy or talk about the things your friends like. If you struggle with social anxiety then social environments can be especially stressful. Therefore, I recommend that everyday you at least find thirty minutes in which you can be alone and just do something that you enjoy in peace. I find that taking the time to read a couple of pages of a book is extremely helpful as it lets you escape the real world for a little while. Naomi What does being healthy mean? Being healthy means not only being healthy physically but mentally and socially. For example, if you are physically healthy but have poor mental health you will not be healthy overall and may not experience all the benefits of health, holistically. Many people just associate good health with diet and exercise and whilst that is part of it. The other part is looking after your mental health.
I hear a lot of people saying that they want to be healthier or they want to loose weight, etc. However, some don't realise that being healthy is more than diet and exercise so they end up losing motivation, etc. This sometimes results in bad habits and bad emotional health in which can result mental health issues such as Bulimia beginning to form in the minds and bodies of people. I know that at a young age most people's parents cook meals for them and they don't always have complete control over what they eat. I have experienced the same thing. I wanted to start eating healthier. However, my aunt and uncle didn't have the money or the time to be cooking good, healthy meals so they stuck to the cheaper and easier alternatives such as pizza and chips. Yes, these things may taste good but they can have negative effects on your body in the long run if they are eaten all the time. Therefore: I have come up with a couple of ways that teenagers and young people can stay healthy. 1. Educate yourself. Sometimes what seems healthy, isn't. So do some research. Go on the change for life website and find out what things you should and shouldn't be eating. Change for life also tells you all about how important exercise is and how often you should do it. It also gives you activity ideas as exercise doesn't have to be just running and going to the gym. 2. Educate your parents. Some parents don't realise what they are putting in their child's bodies. Therefore, give them leaflets all about staying healthy or give them the link to the Change for life website. Let them know that you would like a change and how it could benefit the whole family. 3. Change or limit your snacks. If you cant control the main meals that are made for you then try to control the snacks you eat. I know crops and chocolate taste really good but they should only be eaten in moderation. Try to swap sugary and fatty snacks for healthy alternatives such as fruit. 4. Keep track of what you eat. Keeping track of what you eat is not so you can check calories but to make sure you are getting enough of all the right food groups or to make sure that you are not eating too much of one food group. Check, have you had your five a day? If not, why don't you go get a pice of fruit? 5. Portion sizes. Are the snacks and meals you are eaten too much? Talk to your parents or carers about it and let them now that you would like smaller portion sizes or try to eat smaller snacks. 6. Water. You all know by now that you should be drinking a lot of water! However, sometimes water isn't that nice and you just don't want to drink it. So I recommend buying sugar free flavoured water or sugar free cordial/squash. This will help to ensure that you are drinking enough water and it will prevent you from getting headaches and feeling tired. 7. Regular exercise. If you don't like going to the gym then it's time to find an activity that's right for you. Do you enjoy swimming, rollerblading, football or skateboarding, etc. Simple activities such as the ones listed above can help you stay fit without you even realising. 8. Talk to someone. Even if you don't suffer with mental health problems it's still good to talk someone about what's going on in your life. This prevents things from being bottled up and then resulting in a huge emotional outbreak. It reduces stress and allows you to concentrate on more important tasks. 9. Keep up to date with school/college work. I know it's easier said than done but if you create a schedule and get things done on time then you will not have as much stress and you feel a lot better knowing that you have handed in your work. 10. Hang out with friends. Seeing friends boots your serotonin levels and and dramatically improves your mental health. Sitting in your room all day may result in your brain going into over-drive and overthinking situations. When you are out with others, you feel more relaxed and able to have a good time. Now I'm not a professional so these things may not work for you but they worked for me so it's worth a shot. If some of the things on this list don't work then don't panic, there will be something out there that will help you. Just keep looking and trying new things. -Naomi National Pet Month is a registered charity, unique in bringing together animal welfare charities, professional bodies, pet businesses, schools, youth groups and pet lovers. The trustees are National Office of Animal Health (NOAH) and Pet Food Manufacturers’ Association (PFMA). The charity’s key aims are to:
Promote responsible pet ownership Make people aware of the mutual benefits of living with pets Increase public awareness of the role of pet care specialists Raise awareness of the value of working and assistance companion animals.” (http://www.nationalpetmonth.org.uk/about-us) This year National Pet Month will take place 1st April – 1st May 2017. During this month pet owners are encouraged to: educate others on reasonable pet ownership, raise money for a pet charity and spread their knowledge of correct care for pets. The aim of this awareness month is to give pet owners the correct information on how to take care of their pets, encourage people to keep their pets and to enforce how important it is to take your pet to visit the vets regularly. There are lots of ways you can get involved this month, one includes going to one of the National Pet Month events. There will be many events all over the UK such as children’s colouring competition and pet photography competitions. These event will help to raise money for the charity. You can also get involved by sharing your knowledge online. Make a YouTube video on how you take care of you pet or post a status about all the benefits of having a pet. Share a picture of your pet and list all the things that you need to know before buying that pet. It doesn’t have to be all serious. For example, you could state how much noise the animal makes at night or how they may be difficult to train. These things will help someone decide if that particular pet is for them or not. You could also hold your own event in order to raise money for a particular animal charity. Hold a bake sale or a fun run and give all the donations to you favourite animal charity or sanctuary. For information visit this website: http://www.nationalpetmonth.org.uk/ -Naomi |
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