|
By Ines We all know of social media’s impossible expectations. Every single teenager who has access to social media has fallen victim to some sort of pressure to do better, with whether it's about school, sports, talents, or any other area of “needed improvement”; one of the most common pressures on teenagers is about body image, and with summer approaching fast, these expectations intensity more and more everyday.
What is a “summer body?” In the simplest terms, a “summer body” is defined as a toned or slim body, usually meant for the approval or attraction of others. In California, a woman is expected to have an “hourglass” figure while also maintaining a flat stomach and no stretch marks, and a man is expected to have abs and an overall muscular physique. These demands are unattainable for the average person. Everyone’s body is different, not to mention it takes a lot of effort to workout consistently and not everyone has the time. It is very apparent that these standards are ridiculous. Another key aspect of this term is the “summer” part, originating from the warmer weather. The high temperatures during summer, combined with common activities like swimming, often lead to lighter or more revealing clothes. These things are not inherently negative, however, many people suffer from insecurities about their body and may not feel as confident. Scars, acne, stretch marks, body fat, and hyperpigmentation are all very normal features, yet, so many people feel vulnerable when these parts are visible during the summer. It is so important to be aware of this, and treat people with respect by not pointing them out or drawing lots of attention to them. While many people associate a “summer body” with being “fit,” the process of attaining this expectation is far from healthy. I experienced this pressure firsthand during the spring and summer of 2020. For context, my area was very heavily impacted by COVID-19, and all the schools had shut down in the early spring. Because of this, many social media influencers encouraged people to workout at their homes to spend their time at home wisely. Achieving a “fit” body has always been a popular topic on the internet, but the pandemic has severely increased the discussion of it. It felt like everyday I was seeing posts along the lines of “don’t waste your time at home! Build the best body you can for the summer!” I felt drained, both emotionally and physically. Social media made me feel as though I was not doing enough to look a certain way. I kept catching myself accidentally comparing my body to the ones I saw online. The bodies that have been photoshopped. The bodies where people’s acne and scars had been blurred and edited out. The bodies in which girls used filters and angles to look “perfect.” It was exhausting, but I kept going back to these images and wondering what I could do to make myself the same. The reality is, I am not the same as those girls. They are beautiful, and so am I, but we are entirely separate. By the time summer came, I realized that I was stressing over attaining a body type that wouldn’t even make me happy. Even though I didn’t meet the high standards of a “summer body,” I was still happy, and moreover, I was healthy. My journey to self-acceptance was not easy, but there were two tips that I followed to help myself feel better. The first practice that I used was drawing. Art has always been a passion of mine, but this time was slightly different. Over the spring and summer I focused on centering my art around different body types. This allowed me to analyze the features that make people unique. Additionally, it helped me to embrace my own features that I wouldn’t normally draw. This tip really improved me learn to fully accept myself and others through art. The next piece of advice was much harder, but it was the most important aspect of getting over my stress. I had to completely alter the way I interacted with social media. For starters, I drastically limited my usage on apps like instagram, tiktok, and snapchat. Secondly, I needed to add diversity to my influencer following. This meant that I started following people with different body types or facial features to truly commit to seeing the beauty within everyone. This changed the way that I viewed the discussion around the “summer body” demands, because instead of centering the conversation around my own experiences, I broadened my perspective and learned a lot from other people. I want everyone to truly understand that the “summer body” standard is flawed. It constantly pushes unfair demands upon young and impressionable teenagers. Our bodies are not trends for the seasons, nor are they meant to be picked apart and compared to others. I used to not fully comprehend this, as I thought that it was possible to morph myself into the people I admired on social media. It was not. By drawing and taking breaks from social media, I spent my time focusing on how to love myself for who I am. Recognizing that the “summer body” was not right for me was another key aspect for my journey towards self acceptance. Afterall, happiness and healthiness are far more important than the way you look. I hope this article helped!
0 Comments
By Sophie Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror and suddenly become fixated on these purple or white linear bands that are on your body? Have you ever questioned what they are, why you have them and how to get rid of them?
Stretch marks are very common among the population; up to 90% of women have them. They may appear anywhere on the body but most people have them on their hips, thighs, back, abdomen and arms. They develop after your body has been through some rapid changes, so whether you’ve grown up fast during puberty or gained/lost weight. So, when the elastin and collagen in our skin rupture, they create these marks which at first appear as purple and then become white with time. So, these physical changes can affect your mental state, how you perceive yourself and your self-esteem. The first stretch marks I saw on my body were on my thighs and calves and they immediately made me self-conscious. I wouldn’t wear skirts, shorts or dresses for eight years, unless it was in winter as I would wear tights underneath. I thought people who gained weight fast only had this problem and I felt ashamed of myself for letting my body reach such a point. I tried several serums to make them go away but nothing worked. This caused me to lose my money, time and energy (yes, applying serums/creams/oils twice a day for two months can be quite time consuming and tiring!). However, I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to open up about this topic I considered sensitive with my friends. Most of my friends are skinnier than I am and I wasn’t sure whether they would even understand where I’m coming from. But, to my surprise, they did. We chatted about this for long hours and I understood that any person can have stretch marks and that they are normal. Through this conversation, I learned more about my friends and also discovered that Stretch marks can be anywhere on your body. This made me feel more comfortable and I didn’t even feel embarrassed talking about this subject because it’s something very common and normal. This boosted my confidence and being surrounded by people who are understanding, benevolent and in the same boat as I was helped me a lot. I believe that it takes time to understand that stretch marks are more common than you ever thought and the more bodies you’ll see, the more you’ll grasp that. Here are some tips to help you handle stretch marks:
Remember, the majority of people walking on this planet have stretch marks. They can appear anywhere on your body and usually when you have fast physical changes. I would suggest naming them tiger lines as this might help you feel empowered and strong. Even though each body is different, stretch marks are pretty much the same, no matter how lonely you feel, know that you are most probably in the same boat as everyone else! By Anna Under the influences of society, whether it be through media or cultural standards and values, many girls fall victim to toxic standards for beauty. The Western idealism of eurocentric features, as well as thinness, is rooted in the TV shows we grew up watching, the Barbies we played with as children, and in the diet culture we observed in our own parents, eventually shaping our personal definitions of beauty. During puberty, these begin to play into the way we perceive our growing bodies; we find ourselves constantly questioning whether our physical appearance is deemed acceptable. Unconsciously, we begin to objectify ourselves, no longer valuing our bodies for their true purpose, but rather for their worth in the lens of society.
In order to heal and escape from the effects of this perpetual internalization, it is important to discover the ‘true purpose’ of our bodies, and in turn begin to separate ourselves from the harmful self-objectification we’ve grown to develop. Body neutrality is a philosophy that allows one to regain their sense of self-worth by dismantling and abandoning their beliefs surrounding bodies and body image. Body neutrality serves as an alternative to the body-confidence mindset, which generally emphasizes self-acceptance through believing that, regardless of whether your appearance is ‘conventionally attractive’, you deserve to love your appearance, and therefore yourself. The approach of body neutrality takes self-acceptance a step further by completely shifting one’s value system and essentially reversing self-objectification. Although both strategies are equally as effective in resetting one’s beliefs surrounding body image, the mindset of self-confidence, in the sense that one deserves to feel that their body is beautiful, is rooted in the ideology that measures self-worth according to attractiveness and beauty, except through the lens of the individual rather than that of society. The approach of body neutrality abandons the notion that one must look good to feel good, instead looking at bodies solely from a biological perspective. Positive body-image is redefined as what your body can actually do for you; seeing your body as an entity entirely separate from your internal self; as a vehicle by which you are protected, and that you use to live your life. In turn, this mindset emphasizes the idea that one doesn’t have to be in love with their appearance, or have any opinion on their appearance, but rather that the value of their body is determined by how it works and not how it looks. Therefore, this strategy allows people to prioritize how they physically feel instead of how they look; they are motivated to eat, exercise, etc. for the sole purpose of nurturing their physical body to continue to carry out its uses. Though body neutrality may seem blissful to those who are ruled by their body image, it requires the reversal of the very value system that we’ve absorbed continually throughout our lives. As a result of media consumption and inherited cultural values, among many other factors, girls have learned to place immense importance on physical appearance, which unconsciously results in self-objectification. This is also exemplified by the body-confidence mindset that many have branded as a strategy for self-love. However, despite not being in full alignment with society in terms of the standard for beauty, the body-confidence mindset only reinforces the idea that one’s worth is determined by their physical appearance. The practice of body neutrality is based on reevaluating whether one’s appearance should be determinant of their confidence, and instead places emphasis on health and physical wellbeing. In turn, this allows more room for emotional and mental prioritization, and therefore growth and improvement outside of physical appearance. The way we perceive both our bodies and our self-worth is largely rooted in a set of superficial, inherently racist, fatphobic ideals that have become inescapable as a result of internalization and normalization among generations. It is the responsibility of teens within our generation to analyse and dismantle these damaging ideologies and values and ultimately decide the best strategies to finally eliminate them. Body confidence and body neutrality serve as just two forms of self-perception, equally worth implementing, that can help our society reach stability and continue to progress through the acceptance of oneself and of others. Have you ever witnessed a couple break up due to one of them lacking self-love? Witnessing that growing up never failed to confuse me. It confused me how someone can dislike oneself, when they could never become someone else. As I got older, it finally became clear to me that self-esteem issues are very real and valid. Unfortunately, I figured this out firsthand, my self-esteem took a big hit within the last three years of high school. The transition of self-pity did not happen overnight. In fact, it started in middle school and continued to grow until it was no longer avoidable. It is fairly normal to feel self-conscious in high school as it is a tipping point in most of our lives. However, I spent so much time fantasizing that I was somebody else, that seemed to hold off any feelings of hatred towards myself for the time being. This is not healthy. At all. There are plenty of ways to deal with loving yourself, and wishing you were someone else is not the solution. I was very fortunate to have enough self-awareness to realize the amount of self-hatred I had was not normal. Nobody should feel as though they are not enough, and they constantly change themselves to become more appealing. I have dealt with many aspects of self-esteem issues, my body image being the biggest. Overcoming these three problems has proven that the journey to self-love is difficult, but so rewarding and satisfying once you have achieved it. Physically, I never felt like a pretty girl. I struggled with my weight and acne for years on end, they always made me feel the most insecure. The societal standards for beauty are so high, it is very easy to feel ugly in your own skin. Constantly comparing myself to girls who were deemed as beautiful according to society’s standards proved to be detrimental. I realized that once I stopped holding myself to these unfair standards, I found beauty within myself, which matters the most. It is essential to stop caring so much about what others think, at least for things that are out of your control. Overcoming my body issues were the biggest hurdle of my journey to self-appreciation. I have tried many things to control my body weight, hoping that losing weight would eventually make me pretty in the eyes of society. Diets, fasting, exercising, and avoiding mirrors were not foreign concepts to me. I would force myself to drink apple cider vinegar because it was said to aid in weight loss. I became so obsessed with the idea of being beautiful in the eyes of everyone , I turned into someone unrecognizable. The process to self-love was not a short and easy one, but it feels good to be comfortable with myself. Once I realized that nobody’s opinion actually mattered, then I started to see the beauty in myself. Granted it will not happen overnight, but hopefully one day you will see yourself as the beautiful person that you are. Society is messed up, it carries unreal standards for people of the upcoming generations and puts them in a position of self-hatred, just because they are not “beautiful”. The best remedy for myself was to read about other’s experiences. Knowing that you are not alone can truly help the healing process be a little more manageable. There are a lot of self-help books and articles that you can access online to read about other people learning to truly love themselves. Although none of these sponsor us, they offer fantastic advice! Here are some ways you can achieve self-appreciation: · Lyftly- An app where you can anonymously post stories about how you are feeling, and you get the chance to connect with other people. · seventeen.com – Clicking on this link will take you to articles that contain celebrity experience with body positivity and self-love. You can even sign a pledge to treat your body with respect. · Write positive sticky notes – As cliché as this sounds, having something positive to read from time to time can really boost one’s confidence! · whosthecutest.com – Click on this link to find out who the cutest person around is. You will not regret it. · Love yourself – I know that this is the final step to your journey. It is not the easiest thing around for a lot of people, they struggle with a lot of self-deprecation. The moment when you can look in the mirror and truly love the person in front of you, you have won the game of Life. Self-love is an expedition that many will embark on. It is too effortless to fall into the hole of self-pity simply due to the fact that society has high standards. I struggled a lot with truly loving myself due to the fact that I could not maintain body positivity. It got to the point where my own reflection was avoided by me. However, realizing that I am not alone, and others’ opinions do not matter I was able to achieve the highest form of self-love. To anyone reading this article: you are beautiful, and you deserve to love yourself. At the end of the day, you cannot expect people to love you when you cannot even do it yourself. As Robert Morley once said, “To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” ~Camille Camille |
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
|
Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |