Over the summer I read the wonderful ‘This Is Not Propaganda’. As you might have guessed by the title, the book was all about controlling the media and political messages. In part one, ‘Cities of Trolls’, the author talks about freedom of speech, and how powerful people can use masses of information to hide messages posted by people disagreeing with them. In this part, a particular section called ‘#ArrestMariaRessa!’ really stuck with me. Maria was the head of a news website in the Philippines during President Duterte’s rise to power. Maria and her online news website would report about Duterte’s vulgar language and eventually his unauthorised killings. Despite producing factually correct articles, Maria was facing online threats. However, after some time she started to notice some patterns and found fake online accounts that would repeat the same messages - eventually, she could even predict when fake stories were about to be posted and created an alarm system for readers of the Rappler. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and what do I see on the news? Maria Ressa won the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize. After looking into it even further I found that she’s also won the Golden Pen of Freedom in 2018, and the UNESCO World Press Freedom Prize in 2021 - all for her work on democracy and freedom of speech. This got me thinking about freedom of speech, and just how important it is. So, if you’re still with me after this ridiculously long introduction, I’m going to tell you all about freedom of speech, what it is, and why you should care about it! Freedom of speech is any one person's right to put across their ideas and opinions without having to worry about retaliation, punishment or censorship. Let's unpack this a little bit more. Retaliation can come from anywhere, whether that be other ‘normal’ people or the government. Punishment could also come from other people or the government, in the form of abuse or fines and imprisonment. Finally, censorship happens when what you’ve said has been suppressed. So in essence, if you can say what you want when you want and not be worried about receiving serious consequences from this, you have the luxury of freedom of speech! But you might be thinking, ‘surely there are some cases where suppressing opinions is a good thing, right?’ - for example, anti-LGBTQ or racist viewpoints that are being spread to intentionally spread hate. Whilst I agree that nobody should be expressing such thoughts, if you were to take away that person’s right to do so you would be taking away the opportunity for them to learn and educate themselves, not to mention challenging democracy itself. From my own experiences, these people should be able to express their views so that I can challenge them and help them see things from a different perspective. If they’re forced to keep such ideas to themselves, how will they learn that it’s not okay? There’s also the idea that if someone can’t say harmful things, they’re more likely to do harmful things. You might also be thinking, ‘what’s a teenager like me going to be able to do about freedom of speech?’. If that is what you’re thinking, you might be surprised to find out that Gen Z (people born after 1996) is the most progressive age group within society and see things like racial and ethnic diversity as a good thing. And it’s true. Since moving to university I’ve been involved in Climate Protests (Greta Thunberg visited my university city!), something I never would’ve considered at home. Concerning freedom of speech, the majority of students do not support free speech restrictions . So there you have it, young people have the power, if we stand up for the things that we believe in, we really can create a better future for everyone! So that’s just about everything I wanted to say! If you’ve stuck with me this whole time, thank you! This is such an important topic, especially when you look at cheating claims against Putin after he was reelected this year, or in less economically developed countries where the government has much more control of the media than in richer democratic countries. I hope you understand what freedom of speech is and why it’s so important. I also hope you understand that, whilst hate speech is wrong, so is taking away someone’s right to be educated. Think about it - if we couldn’t learn from our mistakes we’d spend our whole lives doing something the wrong way, whereas if we’re told we’re wrong we can change for the better! Now that you know your rights - I hope you’re inspired! Be who you want to be, challenge people, even challenge yourself! Protest, make change, be a leader! You have a voice, use it! If there’s something you’re passionate about, let everyone know about it, you only get one life. Be the change you want to see. Keeley. 1: Pomerantsev, P. (2019). This Is Not Propaganda. Faber & Faber Limited, London. https://www.amazon.co.uk/This-Not-Propaganda-Adventures-Against/dp/0571338631 2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Ressa#Awards_and_recognition Keeley
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Before my 18th birthday, I had seen 3 therapists, 4 psychologists, and 9 doctors. I had 3 procedures and tried more medicines than I can remember. I can recall the exact day my chronic pain began. It was November 2nd, 2016, and I thought I was having a heart attack. I remember almost passing out in my bed, waiting for an eternity in the emergency room, and all of my tests coming back with no answers. In the end, it was a simple blood test that shined some light on what was going on inside of my body. The test showed that I had an abnormally high level of C-reactive protein, which meant I was fighting inflammation somewhere internally. When this test result came in, my doctors finally gave me a diagnosis of costochondritis. Costochondritis is essentially chest pain with no apparent cause. It usually occurs in children and teenagers and most grow out of it within a few weeks, but there are the unlucky few whose pain stays. My costochondritis diagnosis lasted for three years. I had just turned 15 when my inflammation went away, but I was still experiencing the pain. Even though my body was physically better, my brain was not on the same page. It kept sending out pain signals because after three years it had gotten so used to doing so. Because there is no longer a physical cause, the pain has now linked itself to my mood and anxiety. When I’m stressed or anxious or depressed, the pain gets worse, which isn’t good when my genetics make it so I can’t make enough serotonin, the chemical that is in charge of depression. My brain had become my own worst enemy. Finding out that the inflammation was gone was heartbreaking. For three years, I had lived on anti-inflammatory medicines and diets, and I had been told that when the inflammation went away, so would the pain. There are no words to express how broken and depressed I felt when that was no longer the case. I got angry at myself and the world. I refused any new medicines or treatments because I had wasted so much of my life bouncing from doctor to doctor, just trying to feel normal again. Eventually, I started trying new medicines again, but these were aimed towards improving my mental state. My doctors thought that if I could get my anxiety and depression - the two things that worsened the pain the most - under control then maybe my pain would get more manageable or even disappear entirely. It took 8 months to find the right medicine and then COVID-19 hit. The pandemic hasn’t changed much for me. My pain had already kept me housebound, the only difference was that now my friends were stuck in their homes too. They finally got to see a sliver of what the previous four years had been like for me. It might seem weird, but I was happy they had to stay home because it meant they weren’t out having fun without me like in previous years. Last summer, I tried a new procedure. Its goal was to burn the nerves in my ribs that were transmitting the pain signals and force my brain to reboot. It was temporarily successful, but eventually, the nerves healed and the pain was back, but at a lower intensity. I still have the pain, but there are fewer intolerable days. I still can’t wear a bra regularly, and I need to take more time for myself to make sure my anxiety doesn’t reach extreme levels since it could trigger a pain flare-up, but I’m doing better. I wish I could say there was some magical cure that made my chronic pain disappear, but there wasn’t and there still isn’t. I still struggle with it and some days are worse than others. But managing my depression and anxiety has helped tremendously, and learning to not overwork myself and get too stressed has been key. In the last year, my battle with my pain has moved to the neurological side of things. The pain is no longer caused by my body, but by my brain. I’ve had to learn to take care of my brain to keep my pain in control. It’s been a long and slow journey, but I’m just taking it day by day, and maybe someday, I will have a pain-free life again. Links for people who want to learn more about inflammation and costochondritis: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=167&contentid=c_reactive_protein_serum#:~:text=The%20C%2Dreactive%20protein%20(CRP,of%20CRP%20in%20your%20blood. https://www.webmd.com/arthritis/about-inflammation https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/costochondritis/symptoms-causes/syc-20371175 https://www.healthline.com/health/costochondritis I hope you all enjoyed reading this article! Sydney SydneyDepression is known as the “common cold” of the mental health world. However, depression takes the form of various depressive disorders/illnesses do you know that there is more than one type of depression? Well, there are. Different types of depression are chemical imbalances that are caused by either an event that happened in your life or genetic inheritance. The stigmatisation and miseducation surrounding mental health have unfortunately made many people unaware of different types of depressive/mental disorders. This is why it is important to differentiate between them to understand mental health. Major Depression: Clinical depression involves loss of interest and pleasure in activities and/or loss of interest. As well as trouble sleeping, weight loss or gain, feeling agitated and slowed down mentally and physically. The symptoms are experienced most days and last for at least two weeks and interfere in all areas of a person’s life. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: A lot of women experience moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms (PMS). Although at least 8% of these experience symptoms that prevent them from living their normal day-to-day life. This is premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). The difference between PMS and PMDD is that PMDD involves a set of physical and psychological symptoms that would harm the individual’s mental well-being. Common symptoms of PMDD are; severe fatigue, crying and emotional sensitivity, mood changes and difficulty concentrating. Postpartum Depression: The birth of a child can trigger an array of emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also trigger depression. Women who have depression in the weeks and months after childbirth may have postpartum depression. Common symptoms include; mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Seasonal Affective Disorder: This is a period of depression that mostly happens during the winter months when the days grow short and you get less and less sunlight. It usually goes away in the spring and summer. SAD is diagnosed after the person has had the same symptoms during winter for a couple of years. People with SAD are more likely to experience a lack of energy, sleep too much and crave carbohydrates. Bipolar Disorder: Someone with bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, has mood episodes that range from extremes of high energy with an up mood to love depressive periods. When you’re in a low phase, you’ll have the symptoms of major depression. Prior to my diagnosis of clinical depression, I began noticing how I would distance myself from others, sleepless or more and was constantly overthinking. Because I was never taught about mental health and because of stigma, I didn’t know that there was a chance I had depression. People would say that I was “lazy” or was “seeking attention.” That couldn’t be far from the truth. It wasn’t until I started educating myself that I understood mental health. Ways to cope with depression include: Therapy: Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that converts common patterns of negative thinking to control your depression. These strategies include gaining a better understanding of the behaviour and motivation of others, using problem-solving skills to cope with difficult situations and learning to develop a greater sense of confidence in one's abilities. Diet: Research shows a connection between diet and mental health. Many studies show that improving your diet can treat mental illnesses. By no means do I suggest you completely stop eating your favourite dessert but surely reduce the number of times you eat it. If you are planning on making any major changes to your diet then talk to a doctor. Sleep: If you have trouble sleeping or might sleep too much, you’ll struggle to get out of bed because regardless you’ll feel exhausted all the time. For improving your sleep try; turning off your electronics an hour before you go to bed. If you want to read a book or do another activity, do so. And only your bed for sleep. Working in bed or even your bedroom can cause you to link your bed with stress. Light therapy: This type of therapy is especially for those suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This involves sitting by a special lamp called a lightbox. This produces the light that’s missing during the winter months. By sitting in front of a lightbox for 30 minutes to an hour each day you can increase the serotonin chemical in your body. Serotonin is a hormone that affects your mood. Also known as the “happy chemical.” They come in the form of a desk lamp, alarm clock or wall-mounted fixtures. Wellness toolbox: A wellness toolbox can help you relax when you are feeling down. It can be anything that will make you happy e.g. listening to music, hanging out with loved ones or playing with your pet. When you are feeling bad then choose an activity that will bring you joy. There are many forms of depression which means there are many forms of coping mechanisms. Unless diagnosed, you won’t know which one you’ll have. Just know that you aren’t alone. I know how you feel. Not wanting to get out of bed or eat or having these constant dark, loud thoughts. But let me tell you this - It will pass. I know it's a horrible feeling at the moment but just remember that it will pass. It will get better, I promise. You are so strong. Some people do care for you, whether you believe it or not. You will get through this and if you need help along the way, then get help. There is no shame. Down below is a link to get in contact with your local helplines regardless of what country you are from. :) Get in contact with your local helplines visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Indie Sahota IndieFeeling empty has got to be one of the weirdest things in the world. It’s not an emotion, so you don’t feel sad or angry or upset, but there’s still something that’s just not quite… right. The word itself means there’s nothing, so why, as I write this, do I feel as though a weight is dragging me down at my chest? I like to pretend I’m on top of everything by making schedules, picking up hobbies, and setting myself challenges and goals. I’m not, though, and that gives me an empty feeling. It’s as though no matter what I do I can’t seem to fill this void of… something… which constantly weighs me down, filling me with absolutely nothing at all. The concept itself is ridiculous, add that to the actual ‘feeling’ and you have a recipe for disaster. When I feel this way, it’s as though my life goes almost hazy, or foggy, like I’m watching everything happen, without actually being involved. So, what do I think you should do when you feel empty? - Talk to friends or people you are comfortable around. This doesn’t mean you have to unload all of your emotions on them, because you may not even really understand how you’re feeling (hence, the emptiness). When I’m down, I like to joke around with my mates until, hopefully, I forget I was ever feeling iffy in the first place. - Binge watch TV. As I said before, I love setting schedules for myself to keep busy, but I always optionally forget to give myself any downtime. There’s this saying I know that always stops me (I know this isn’t very smart, but that’s my mind): ‘You regret the things you don’t do in life more than the things you do.’ For some reason, this stops me from remembering that I need to care for myself because I don’t see self-care as something that will help me in the future. This is not the case! And, when I’m feeling empty, I remember that. I turn on my laptop, open Netflix, and start watching whatever show is next (right now, that’s Big Bang Theory; Sheldon is a legend). - Write. Now, I know this is more of a personal one to me, but my advice would be to do something you find therapeutic, calming, and stress-free which, for me, is writing! I also love journaling because it is so fun therapeutic, and completely personal to you; you can do whatever you want with it. - Eat something. I’m not saying go and down a whole bag of crisps (although I wouldn’t blame you, they are very scrummy), instead just think about when you last had a nutritious meal. If you feel the way I do, it was probably a while ago, which is why you are now lacking in energy (I know, I’m practically a scientist). - Drink water! If you’re like me, you have a beautiful Chilly’s water bottle filled to the brim right next to you on your desk. Yet, for some reason, you still don’t drink a drop. Why? If you are reading this right now, drink something. We both know you should. - Listen to sad music and cry. This might sound ridiculous but, from my own experience, there’s nothing like a good cry to let out all those confused emotions. Plus, your eyes will be all shiny afterwards (just ignore the redness) and you will feel all refreshed and ready to leave whatever the heck that emptiness was way behind. So, we can all agree that feeling empty, well, isn’t the best (put lightly) but I hope that the above tips can help a little when you are feeling this way. It is also key to remember that, although things are bad now, they will get better. Trust me, I know. I hope this helped :) Have a brill day xx
ChloëDepression is classed as a mood disorder which affects over more than 264 million people of all ages worldwide! One of the side effects of depression is mood swings. I’ve been experiencing mood swings from a very young age and there have been some hard times. My mood could just drop in an instant from being so happy to feel like I have no meaning in life. When I first started to have mood swings I didn’t know what was going on as there is no education about mental health and stuff like mood swings. I felt like I was losing my mind every time my mood changed! My mind became a dark hole where I would isolate myself when I had one of these mood swings. I felt like there was no way out of these cycles of feeling happy but then suddenly depressed. “What caused these mood swings”, I asked myself as a child but now being a young adult I understand I was experiencing depressive thoughts. But, what I didn’t realise was that others around me had these negative thoughts too. One situation I experienced was when I came home from high school and I went straight to my bedroom for 5 days. I didn’t talk to anyone, I just slept, watched movies and slept more. Looking back on that time, it scares me how my behaviour can change. Sometimes, I don’t even recognise myself at all, it’s like I’m a different person These days I try to make a plan of what I can do to cheer myself up. Some of those plans are;
Lists can be so helpful, especially for me! It keeps me feeling in control and this has helped with my mood swings because having them can make you feel controlless. Asking yourself questions can be good as well because then you can explore inside your mind and see what caused that mood swing.
MELA dynamic truth! A fair judgment to be done! And just another level of stupidity! In fact, it's an indirect one… The time we spend on things we love is way too little than the time we spend on social media. Oooh no! Let me check what Peter has posted this week on Instagram. Or perhaps, it will be so cool and so nice to check on what Mary posted on Tik Tok… But, time still counts, “Tick tock tick tock" And death comes like Boom! We then become addicted to our so-called social life partners. Old days seem more astonishing than the current days… Just to be more precise, the difficulties in doing things made people intelligent and hardworking. But, right now right here, you light up a house with one click on the switch then on it goes! The lights! Such a thing, demanded several trials on a log rubbed smoothly but roughly just to create fire. Sounds interesting right? But, what do we learn from the many trial and errors that gave us a lesson every single time? It actually gave our elders the ability not to give up. It actually made them understand that the world was full of trial and errors which later led to better infrastructures like The Egyptian Pyramids. But come on… wait first! What was Elon Musk's latest post on his newly bought-possession Twitter? Ooh no! Why am I still obsessed with what I am just criticizing? I don't know for real… To be honest, I have had this experience where we are just bonded or perhaps married to a wife or husband named “Social Media” with a full-amazing-gold ring. This might sound harsh but it's actually a truth we have to tolerate. The life principle, which I actually don't know about, tells us that the only people we will be bonded to a lot are our life partners. Ha ha, just kidding! The depth of its effect is far higher than the depth of its advantages which leaves us with an understanding that probably we might be expecting divorces from our life partners. That is what will happen when social media platforms get banished due to the effects it will have caused. We might find ourselves in a drastic confusion of what to do after getting the divorce from these social media platforms. A question just popped up in my mind, actually it's a question I have seen before, which says "What would you do when the internet gets off to replace the time you spend on it?" Huh? Is this a stupid joke or just a mere example of how the crazy people prank the intelligent people? You know, it's actually a thought from someone who might be crazy or just insane enough to speak such bullshit. But, the reality remains that these kinds of people are the most intelligent ones because they realize the depth of the disadvantage. They realize that these platforms which tend to connect people are the same platforms which destroy the role of humanity on earth. Just a simple question, how many people feel absolutely comfortable speaking with people physically than online? Probably very few… But why? It's mainly due to the drastic push we get from our so-called "Life Partners" or let's just say "Destructive Life Partners" named Social Media. Boom! So this is what I have learnt from the Social Media platforms: Well, like lightning it strikes and brings terrifying effects on earth through the breaking rumors it gives out. Like sun rays it gives us the pretendence-like heat unless the ozone layer is tempered through fake-true news it offers. We still survive knowing that we have more to face but unlikely knowing its effects. We live, we survive and we still spend time with our so-called-partners named Social Media. Did I just say something about time? Ooooh no! Wooohooo! Here comes the worst part! Just relax ok? I took time and spared some to check my screen time. I was puzzled and actually surprised with what I saw. Like seriously!!! Did I just spend 6 hours only on Instagram? Ooh come one! Was I stupid to spend 7 hours on ticktock? Mmmh! This sounds fun but how come more than half of my day is just spent on social media? It's magic right? Huh? Still sounds sarcastic… Anyway, let me check what Elon has posted on Twitter this time. Ladies and gents, or let's say online-addicted ladies and gents, I have learnt that the physical contact we spend with our physical friends is far too little than the enormous-high-quality-comfortable time we spend on social media. And actually, my imagination leads me to thinking that we might make a movement on Heaven just to be spared some minutes to check out on our friends in hell and at least check their progress. Just kidding though, the reality is, we really need to look at the future we are destined to go through and at least think if our so-called-life-partners will be advantageous to that destiny. Are we really ready to sacrifice our futures just to waste time on our so-called Life partners or will we be ready to sacrifice the social media and spend more time to nourish our physical world. I am having a feeling that probably Prince EA has posted something today on Instagram. But, do I really have to check it out? You know, this thing is quite tempting and at times it's apparently impossible to just quit it out of the blues and get outdated. Who wants to be outdated? Who? Actually it's fairly no one. It's just not that easy to forget everything and have no information about the world out there. It's quite depressing at times and far away beyond impossible. But, I do have a feeling that there is a way to change and get back to the old days when physical life was much more interesting that the online life. I have this feeling that probably we could have learnt less than what we learn today but actually accurate, true and educative knowledge. We would actively gain knowledge rather than the drastic mixture of lies and truths we get now leading us to an awesome confusion. And who knows, probably we might be able to live a life we all enjoy, live in peace and love and get the natural beauty of our beautiful planet earth. A lot has been happening to the online-addicted ladies and gents. I have been wondering how social media has made us not see the beautiful environment around us. It sounds even awkward that people selfie themselves at funerals these days. But, how long are we going to be torturing our eyes with contents from social media and still get nothing from it? This sounds ridiculous! I cannot stop writing because I feel like the devil we always speak of is actually our so-called life partners named Social Media. They come as a sheep but it's just a skin and when removed there comes a tiger and actually a Mongolian Tiger. It's fierce enough to strike the moment we fully believe it's a sheep. And yes! We have done that already and now we only have to wait for the ambush. Down within the narrow paths towards our destinies, we will be snatched like a chicken. With no one to hear our cries, we will be tortured like a roasted fish. And finally, with none to blame, we will be enslaved and killed mercilessly and Boom! Deal done! Oooh my social media, what have you done to me? - Andreaa Helpline: Be cautious with your social media platforms. Make good use of them and don’t let them exploit you more than how you exploit them. Be cautious! https://www.makeuseof.com/how-to-quit-social-media/ AndreaaLots of people like to talk about ‘self-care’ when it comes to mental health and recovery. You might have seen suggestions for lighting candles, taking a long bubble bath, or reading a favourite book. These are all great suggestions when it comes to taking care of yourself at your lowest points. However, no one likes to talk about the uglier side to this because it’s, well, ugly! I am 21, at university, and I like to think I have experience with bad mental health, particularly with trying what feels like hundreds of methods of “self-care”. For me, they were a replacement for going to the doctor (which you definitely should do) because I was absolutely terrified of giving a name to things like depression and anxiety. I have spent many nights listening to Hozier turned all the way up, trying yoga, painting, playing an instrument, eating healthily, and even journaling. Writing down things I like about myself, things I’m good at, reminding myself that pain and sadness are temporary, leaving countless Post-Its across my old bedroom. There are lots of ‘pretty’ ways to look after yourself. Candles and bubble baths (as I mentioned before) aromatherapy, clean sheets, and a long walk through the park. Instagram, in particular, is a place where these things are shown, with accounts and hashtags dedicated to pictures of fluffy dogs and colourful flowers, peaceful landscapes, and extensive skincare routines. I vividly remember trawling through these images, feeling all the more broken because none of them made me feel better. None of them fixed me. My self-care on some days involved just getting out of bed. Making a start on an essay, even if that was only writing out the title. Just having breakfast felt like an accomplishment. I would come home from sixth form on a Friday, exhausted, and not shower until Monday morning when I had to go back again. Moisturising my arms, throwing my uniform in the wash, and even brushing my teeth and hair felt impossible. When you feel like this, and I’m sure most people have had an experience like this at least once, self-care seems so far from reach. Being okay can feel so far from reach. Sometimes self-care isn’t flowers and being clean and having perfect skin. Yes, these things can make you feel better, but they should never be seen as a substitute for professional help, which a lot of people like to portray. Not many people like to show this side to themselves, surprisingly enough, and this is a HUGE problem. There is a stigma towards symptoms of mental illness and the knee-jerk reaction to coping with them that is just never talked about. The point is, both methods of self-care and recovery are FINE! Whether you use ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ ways, it doesn’t matter! But both need to be talked about. It is always okay to struggle and reach out to someone, I know I felt so much better when I did to my best friend. It is always okay to not conform to whatever Instagram tells you to do. Find what’s best for you and you alone. - Kaitlyn KaitlynIn recent years, there has been a surge of acceptance and support for the LGBTQ+ community, almost as if it were a trend. However, it seems as though those who identify as bisexual are sorely underrepresented and often regarded as not a part of the community. The stigma around bisexuals correlates with the idea that they can’t choose between being gay or straight, or the worry that they’re making a pitstop on the road to identifying as gay. Needless to say, neither is ever the case. Bisexuality means being able to enjoy both males and females and certainly doesn’t mean being part gay and part straight... I’ve heard that one too many times. Personally, I have never known what sexual orientation I belong to. I have had experiences with both genders, but am still stuck. From a young age, I had my curiosity, as all kids do. I would see lesbians on television shows or my friends would call each other gay while trying to be funny and I would end up searching it up online (which, you might’ve guessed, couldn’t have gone well). Since I’m in high school, at this point I’ve experimented a bit. In fact, my first sexual encounter was with a girl. I’ve played Spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven, and anything horny or bored teenagers play when they’re with each other. I always doubted liking anything, though. “She’s just a good kisser,” I would say. “I was probably imagining a guy doing it.” “It’s my puberty talking. Anything would feel good right now.” The excuses I would make up for myself were endless. Sadly, I still kind of believe there might be some truth to them. I was also coerced into only liking guys at school. God forbid anyone tell kids it’s okay to be gay (sarcasm if you can’t tell). My entire family on either side is straight, with the exception of maybe 2 or 3 cousins. Taking into account how massive my family is, that’s about 5% or less. On top of that, being that we’re Hispanic, most of us grew up in homophobic households. I recall an instance where I tried to hint at the likelihood of me not being straight, and my father tried convincing me that people aren’t actually gay; that it’s just the hormones from the processed food they consume confusing them. He then proceeded to ask, “You’re not gay, are you,” as if it would be such a tragedy. The lack of support from society obviously doesn’t help, either. The LGBTQ+ community is not exactly portrayed as something you want to be a part of. Members are twice as likely to be bullied and more than twice as likely to stay home or skip school to avoid violent abuse from other students. Additionally, they’re 4 times as likely to attempt suicide than straight kids. The community is also highly fetishized in such a way that it almost looks as though it’s not possible to actually be gay. For example, straight guys think it’s “hot” to see two girls kissing. Or how being gay is sometimes depicted as wrong; taboo, if you will, making it appear, so to speak, that gay sex is something you aren’t supposed to do. In other words, making it as if it were sexy for the sole reason of it being a forbidden act, which brings it back to it being fetishized. With that being said, I still don’t know if I’m straight or bisexual. I feel like I might never know. I don’t understand why others make it look so easy to just know what they like. If you are in the same boat as me, here is the advice I’ve been giving myself: Don’t go off of labels. It shouldn’t even matter if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, etc. Just go with the flow. Do what makes you happy. If being with a certain female that makes you feel amazing helps you be happy, then go for it (and vice versa). If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. However, if talking to someone about it would make you feel better, here are some helplines:
KatelynBooks are a bit like a lifeline for me. I absolutely love books and am constantly adding to my TBR (to be read) list. It’s at a point where it’s probably my most expensive hobby and might be a little out of control. I don’t have room on my bookshelf for any more books - like it’s bad, folks. That’s not the point of this article though. The point of this article is to tell you about one of the books on my TBR list that I have actually read. This book is Love Frankie by Jacqueline Wilson. Love Frankie is a novel that centres around thirteen-year-old (but nearly fourteen-year-old, as she always points out) Frankie who certainly has her fair share of ups and downs as every teenager does. She is bullied at school, her mum has been diagnosed with MS/multiple sclerosis not to mention that her dad has left and has a new girlfriend who Frankie doesn’t particularly like. Over the course of the novel, a lot of things change for poor confused Frankie. When Sally, one of her bullies, turns out to be not-so-mean after all, they become firm friends and are suddenly spending all of their time together. But Frankie starts to wonder whether these feelings she has for Sally are stronger than her other friendships and if so, why. Might she really be in love? The reason why this book is so incredible to me is because I find it incredibly relatable. I feel like every teenager, particularly every LGBTQ+ teenager, has felt these feelings and has questioned whether their best friend is more than a friend and whether they’ve fallen in love. I certainly have. When I was 11 or 12 years old, I started having these funny feelings towards a female friend of mine, feelings that I’d never experienced before. It freaked me out big time - I had no idea what was happening, what these feelings were, why I felt this way and what I could do to stop feeling this way. Is it a case of you wanting to be with her, or is it just that you want to be her? I didn’t tell anyone that I had felt this way and didn’t fully accept myself as bisexual until I was 15 years old. So I know exactly how confused and worried Frankie felt about having these intense feelings for Sally which made it feel realistic and made me feel much more understood about those feelings I had felt. I think this book will even help young girls or young people in general who are straight and feel comfortable in their heterosexuality. Heterosexuality has always been normalised in society, almost as the default, therefore meaning that any form of homosexuality has automatically been seen as abnormal or weird or wrong. Though homophobia has gotten much less in the past 20 years and it is more accepted now than it ever has been before, Love Frankie will help those who realise they are straight but will have gay love normalised for them. Seeing a topic like this addressed in popular culture will only help the fight towards homosexuality being normal and it may even change the views of some people who may have been brought up in a homophobic environment. It is pretty clear that a lot of other people felt the same way as I did, and critics loved it. Praise for Jacqueline Wilson and Love Frankie: ‘I would have loved it as a younger teen. I'm so pleased for all the girls who will get to read this at the same age as Frankie and see themselves reflected in the pages.’ ‘A powerful and important love story, this book explores coming of age and coming out. I hope it will give girls everywhere the courage and freedom to follow their hearts.’ ‘A brilliant read that also deals wonderfully with relationships, bullying and of course what love is. An absolutely brilliant story and should be read by parents as well as teenagers.’ ‘Generally, Love Frankie has a fun, enjoyable story that explores sexuality as well as a parent with a chronic illness. I’m very appreciative of the fact that there’s a queer story for young people written by such a high-profile author who is gay herself!’ Overall, I really do love this book. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is struggling with being authentically themselves or is exploring their gender or sexuality as if 12 year old me had read this book back then, I can guarantee it would have helped me. Out of 5: 🌟🌟🌟🌟 and a half Dame Jacqueline Wilson is an English author and novelist, born in 1945, known for her popular children's literature and young people’s books. Since her debut novel in 1969 when she was only 24, Wilson has written over 100 books, including popular titles such as The Story of Tracy Beaker, Double Act, Vicky Angel, The Dumping Ground and many others. Her books have also been adapted into TV shows, plays and movies since their release. In April 2020, Wilson announced she was in a same-sex relationship. She revealed that she had been living with her partner, Trish, for 18 years. For more information about Jacqueline Wilson or to buy her books: https://www.penguin.co.uk/puffin/jacqueline-wilson.html https://www.whsmith.co.uk/authors/jacqueline-wilson/ https://www.youtube.com/user/JacquelineWilsonTV I sincerely hope that you enjoy reading her books as much as I have. ~ Kenzie KenzieDefinition of ‘LOVE’; an intense feeling of deep affection. Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. But what if Love can turn out to be a curse? What happens when it takes over your mind and you have no clear way of thinking? Is it just the process of a breakup or is it just your mind playing tricks on you? To explore this question, I’m going to share a recent experience that happened to me where I was stuck in between two loves, by that I mean being in a current relationship but wanting to be in another. Now, that may sound awful but hear me out. I was in a ten-month relationship with my now (Ex) and I was struggling with intimacy, my sexuality and above all just being comfortable around him during the ‘fun times’ A few months ago, it occurred to me that it wasn’t him who was the problem, it was me. I didn’t know what I wanted as I was so confused and was staying in a relationship to please other people, not myself. Now, that’s when I put a stop to this relationship because I knew it was wrong of me to continue dating him if I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, what kind of person would I be? Now, onto the other relationship I wanted. I met this other person a few years before my ex. We used to work together, we got on like there were no worries in the world. We shared likes, we shared dislikes it was just an amazing feeling to be around them. They say, if a person gives you butterflies, that’s the one for you. And well, I didn’t believe back then, but now I truly believe in that statement. As they did give me butterflies and they still do every time their name pops up in a conversation I just feel like I’m on cloud nine. Sounds like a ‘teenage romance’ right? But, that’s the way I can only describe it as I felt this was the right decision to make. I was finally putting myself first for once because usually, it’s the opposite way around. Now, in the aftermath of breaking up with my ex, I knew what was coming. My family would be questioning why I ended the relationship. And of course the actual partner at the time. But you know what I did? I just said it as it was; “I’m sorry but I don’t have any feelings for you anymore and I feel this is the right thing to do as I don’t want to use you”. Because I wanted him to be happy, and get into a relationship where he was loved truly as he does deserve that. But it just wasn’t me who could do that for him. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, what would you have done if you were in a similar situation as me? - Mel MEL
Trigger warnings for self-harm and suicidal tendencies. To start: self-harm is never good. No matter who you are or what mistakes you’ve made, you do not deserve pain inflicted upon you. If you’re struggling with thoughts of self-harm, it could be good to talk to someone you trust who can help discourage these sorts of urges. Therapy helps many people every day, and there are so many different therapists and styles of therapy that can help different people. That being said, I know that the urge to harm yourself can be too much to handle sometimes, and you end up doing something bad. Some of the explanations I’ve heard from people that have harmed themselves include but are not limited to:
It’s important to remember that hurting yourself is a mistake, and you can’t be harsher on yourself for falling victim to it. Many experts in psychology believe that forms of self-harm can become an addiction because the neurons for emotions and pain are very close, and When people hear the term “self-harm,” cutting is often what they first think of. Unfortunately, too many people in the world cut or have cut in their lives, and I am no exception. I believed that I was such a bad person that I deserved to die, but because I couldn’t kill myself and make people in my life sad, I felt like I had to cut so that I still would be hurting myself and not those around me. This was a lie for me, and it is for you as well. It may have made me feel better, but cutting myself still hurt the people around me. I managed to get therapy and antidepressants and they helped me a lot in my journey of recovery, but I still fell into some bad habits. I started keeping rubber bands around my wrist so that when I had the urge to hurt myself, I would snap myself on the inner arm instead. I genuinely thought this was helping me to not cut because I was just giving myself a tiny bit of pain that would make a little red mark and then fade away instead of drawing blood. But as time went on, I started needing to pull the rubber band back farther so it would snap more, I had to do it multiple times or use multiple ones at the same time, and looking back? I was addicted. I thought I was using a coping mechanism, but all I had done was find a new way to harm myself. I kept on having to give myself more and more pain to get the relief I was craving. The snaps the rubber bands made were so hard that my skin would turn red and rise in outdents that would take minutes to fade. The most obvious way to avoid these behaviours is to never do them in the first place. However, that isn’t an option for a lot of people. When you’re recovering from self-harm addictions, however they present themselves, you need to be cautious of whether your coping mechanisms are healthy today. Try to imagine it not as yourself, but if a friend was struggling and they were using this coping mechanism, would you be comfortable with it? In addition to this, why are you using this as a coping mechanism? You have to understand how the method is helping you, and whether you can use it in the long run or not. One common coping mechanism is ice cubes. The idea behind it is either sucking on an ice cube or putting it in the area where you want to hurt yourself. Both ways, it’s supposed to shock your system a bit. Feeling how cold it is can get your mind off of the urge to hurt yourself. By holding it against your arm, you could also help numb the nerves, which can further help to dull the urge. Overall, the most important thing is to examine your intentions and why you think a certain coping method would help you. You can’t just trade out one harmful addiction for others. I promise that with commitment and time, you can overcome your urges to hurt yourself and move forward. I believe in you! Ellery ElleryI don’t know how it started, but one thing I was sure about was that I felt disgusted about myself. I realized that my present self was shaped by emotionally detached experiences in childhood. I didn’t get as much love as my siblings got. I got physical and emotional punishment. Also, being the first kid compelled me to act like a mature person, like being a projection when my parents fought. I was treated like this even when I was still learning how to count 1+1. It was too painful to tell but, my childhood turned me into an unhappy, heartless kid. I resented myself and wondered if I was worthy to live this life. I was being mocked for my unhappy personality in my childhood. I once asked my family, “What was the happiest moment when I was a child?”. I couldn’t wait to see my family’s response, but instead, they responded “Oh, nothing that made you happy. You are just a gloomy kid”. My self-esteem went down immediately. I was haunted by anger and regrets. I wanted to point a finger and blame someone but I couldn’t. It took me years to accept my childhood experience. But, I stand here for anyone who has the same feelings. You are not alone. Here are some things to remember that helped me let my wounded unhappy childhood go.
Admittedly, forgiving the past would be hard. Several times, I thought ‘If I wasn’t..’ or ‘I wouldn’t be here if I was..”. But remind yourself that the past can’t be changed. Let the past be a history. Use it as a power to grow yourself. The story is not only just past tense. But it can be used in present and future tense, and you have the power to write your own. - Syfia SyfiaAs our current year approaches its end we often find ourselves thinking about the upcoming new year. People tend to hope that the new year will bring about positive experiences, success, and change. These thoughts often lead people to create New Year's resolutions. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a New Year’s resolution is defined as “ a promise to do something differently in the new year”. More often than not these resolutions include changing something in your life that you may not like or accomplishing a goal or set of goals. The idea of setting a new year resolution can be productive and may aid you in finally doing what you always wanted to, or in other words, help you become the 'new and improved you' in the new year. Looking back on everything that has happened this past year, it's normal that we hope that the upcoming new year will bring positivity and improvement into our lives. Some of us may begin to think of New Year's resolutions such as eating healthier, exercising more often, reading that book that has been sitting on your shelf for some time, and more. Usually, we are eager to act upon these goals that we have set for ourselves, and even feel proud when we do so. However, many of us may forget or drop these initial thoughts of future improvement as the new year progresses. Others may feel a sense of failure because they were not able to go through with their resolution. Before the start of 2020, I had come up with a few resolutions for the year. Some of these resolutions include eating healthier, drinking more water, and reading more. For the most part, I have been eating healthier and making sure to drink more water, but I have not read more this year than I had last year. Initially, I was upset that I was unable to meet all my goals for the current year, but then I realized that I was able to improve on two of the three goals that I had set for myself. We as people won’t always be able to follow through on every plan or goal that we have set for ourselves in the future. Very often we become focused on the big goal and don’t realize the small things that we have accomplished on our way to achieving the larger goal. Although the start of a new year may symbolize a fresh start and an opportunity to work towards bettering oneself, it is important to remember that we can always work on ourselves no matter the time of year. Although some may not want to take part in the idea of making a New Year's resolution, it can be fun. If you are trying to think of a New Year’s resolution for yourself, you can start by thinking about what aspects of your life you would like to improve on or change. These changes and improvements do not have to be drastic, they can be as simple as going on more walks or learning a new word every day. Many resolutions typically revolve around one's health, such as eating better or maybe quitting an unfavourable habit, but resolutions can take on many forms. Some unique resolutions can include learning a new language, reading a certain number of books that you always wanted to, doing some exploring near your home (you may discover something new), and more. You may not achieve every resolution that you set, however, it is important to pat yourself on the back for trying. The new year is approaching fast and some of us may be setting goals/new year resolutions for ourselves as we enter into the upcoming year. You should not feel pressured to come up with a New Year resolution if you don’t want to. If you do set a resolution for the upcoming year I hope that you accomplish them. If you are unable to, remember that you tried your best and when you are ready you can always try again. Here are a few new years resolution ideas in case you are looking for some:
I would like to wish a happy new year to all of the readers and members of Teenagers With Experience, may this year bring us all health, happiness, and success. Sincerely, Diana DianaHere are ways to come out and reassurance that you are not alone. According to HRC, 40% of teens come out every year. I can assure you more than half of them are scared to come out, but the same ones who are afraid to come out have a happy ending. Some don’t but 50% of coming out stories have positive outcomes. Don't feel like you have to come out either. My experience with coming out as a teen has been positive. Even though both of my parents weren't always sure about what it meant to have two daughters who were LBGTQ. After explaining in detail what polyamorous (polyamorous means to have open intimate or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time) and pansexual (not limited to a sexual choice not caring about biological sex, gender, or gender identity) were, they were fine with it. I was scared when I first came out; I didn't know if they were going to accept me and that scared me. So I brought it up in a conversation about what their opinions were about the community. My mom’s opinion was: as long as I’m happy she doesn't care who I date. My dad’s opinion was the same thing but he said, “As long as they don't hurt you and you’re happy, who you date does affect me,”. After they said that I knew it was safe to come out and I am so happy I was able to. It was like a weight taken off of my shoulders. I have been out for almost three years. I wish someone would have given me ways to come out or a how-to-come-out guide. I wish I had someone to tell me before I came out that nothing was wrong with me. I wanted someone to tell me that I wasn't alone and I wasn't the only one who would have to go through this. You shouldn’t feel like you have to come out, only do it when you are safe and comfortable and able to. There are other ways of coming out too: you can do it funnily or seriously, for example, hold up a circle and say “This is as straight as I am”; you could even bake a cake and write you're sexuality or gender in the cake. Here is a video with “100 different ways to come out”:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYEBTac8qmw&t=558s. More seriously, you can just sit down and tell them and tell them that you are still you and nothing has changed. There are always people that you can go to, different foundations that you can call if you feel unsafe for any reason after you come out they will help and assist you. You might be afraid now or even nervous about what others may think but just remember that you were born like this and that's okay it just makes you unique in your way. You are you for a reason and you shouldn’t be afraid to show that or tell anyone. You may face judgment and that's okay because there is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone. Even if you are still in the closet or thinking that you are safe to come out. People are there with you. You are never alone in the process.
The Trevor Project - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Turning Points- (802) 885-4668 The GLBT National Youth Talkline- (800) 246-7743. JayBeing introduced to another type of religion was incredibly interesting. I've never really done any research into the many other types that are out in the world. My friend Marina introduced me to the one she has followed for many years as in her own words, "saved her and changed her life". So, I wanted to see what she meant by that. The first thing she explained to me was that becoming a Buddhist means you open your mind to new worlds, to new people and to new opportunities. At this point, I was intrigued to learn more about how being a Buddhist affects her daily life. Marina had many books on other people's perspectives of Buddhism which I thought was very informative as it shows she accepts other people’s opinions about her religion. She then introduced me to different types of podcasts and Youtubers that have inspired her. She introduced me to her religion because she knows about how I suffer from my mental health daily: she believed if I were to try the ways of Buddhism and explore it, then I could free my mind to hopefully get better. How did I feel about this? Well, don't get me wrong, I was scared at first but then once I explored the ins and outs of the beautiful religion it opened my mind. My favourite part about learning about the religion was through tarot cards. These cards are a healing tool to help us explore the light but also dark parts of our lives. They are also used to help you find guidance and your inner strengths. What I found so interesting about these cards was how they used nature to find self-healing. I've never been one to believe that nature has a cure for everything but I do not doubt it either. I'm very open to listening and learning about how nature can heal us naturally and it's quite magical! Marina also explained how she uses these cards every time she has to make an important decision or if she questions something in her life, she turns to the tarot cards. They help her to justify what to do and how to deal with the current situation. To continue the research into Buddhism, Marina is taking me to her local temple to discover what it's like to be inside one and to meet with the people who look after the temple. I'll get to ask them questions that I've been wanting to find the answer to for a while like; - What inspires them every day to look up to Budda for guidance? - How did they discover the religion? - What would they recommend I look into for guidance? Just by exploring the inner depths of a different religion has been beautiful and it has opened my eyes to the inner beauty of our world. Reading the tarot cards that were picked out and put in front of me tells me how my mind and body need healing. How I should not focus on the past anymore but here and now. As you cannot change the past so what's the point in stressing about it? But what you can work on is your future but most importantly right now, work on your happiness, your inner being and your mind and soul! Healing is a process that takes time but it is possible! So, from here I will take the next step to find more help. For my mental health and well-being, I have a strong belief in how these tarot cards and the religion can help me guide myself through recovery and hopefully, one day be able to live my life again with happiness. - Mel MELWhen you hear the word addiction, your mind automatically goes to drugs or alcohol. These things are considered bad for you when consumed in abundance. However, addiction can be of other kinds too. Addiction to gambling, shopping, and binge eating are just to name a few. Today, I’m going to shed some light on the addiction to cleaning or making sure your environment is perfect at all times. Now, the addiction to cleaning is not necessarily OCD but can be a symptom of it. If you think you might suffer from it, it is best to go and get a diagnosis from a professional doctor. Cleaning is almost always considered to be a positive thing. Cleanliness helps with focus; it reduces environmental health problems and might even help you sleep better. However, sometimes the obsession with cleaning might lead you to a point where you’re not able to sleep if your shoes are not in the cupboard or you can’t focus on your studies because the books are not in order. Some reasons why people may tend to clean up a lot can include the need to feel that they’re in control or the need to see everything around them in symmetry. Most of these habits do not raise any mental health flags as personalities vary and some just like having everything clean. However, if it is hindering your daily life, it would be wise to check with a doctor. It’s a good time to see a doctor when you’re spending hours cleaning one spot over and over or you wake up in the middle of the night just to clean the kitchen shelves and do not understand the motive behind your actions. As a person, I love having everything around me spick and span. I cannot start studying/working unless I have made my bed. I cannot sleep unless all my clothes are neatly folded in the closet and my books are in their designated spots. However, on some days, I let it go. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to clean up or I just have more urgent things to do. I understand my motive behind cleaning everything. In the morning, it is to be 100% focused on my tasks and at night it’s to make sure something does not poke my eye out as I sleep. Just like personality, people have different aesthetics too. For example, some people love having their work desk overflowing with plants and pictures while others go for a minimalistic look. I personally love the idea of having two books and a clean desk to start with every day. In conclusion, the need for a clean environment is good when it's just that. However, when it’s paired with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, it might not be just wanting a clean environment anymore. If you suffer from addiction or want to talk to someone about it, contact your local addiction helpline or contact this UK-based web chat for support. Always remember, that it is never too late to ask for support. https://www.addaction.org.uk/webchat Stay safe and stay happy <3 Aiza x AizaWork experience can range from lots of different things and reactions, from excitement to dread and nerves to downright fear. Well, I’m here to shed a little light on work experience as a whole and to hopefully reassure you that it isn’t as scary as you may think. In the UK, a lot of schools designate a week(or more) to enable their students (usually those in Year 10 or 11) to go out and practice helping out in a real-life workplace. My school was a bit stingy and forced us to do everything for ourselves- which was very daunting- but, I think that most schools that enforce work experience tend to help you out along the way. The first thing I’d recommend to do is think about what you are interested in. It can even be something that you’re partially interested in and want to learn more about, even if it’s a career path you are 90% sure that you don’t want to go into, you still can’t allow yourself to disclude it entirely. This opportunity is less likely to show you the exact career path you’re meant for, but it’s still important to keep your options open, and with this, it can also give you an insight into what scenarios you hate, don’t mind, and enjoy! Secondly, If you’re interested, I would highly suggest checking to see if any local businesses offer work experience placements to students like yourself. With this stage, I would also recommend asking around to all associates and people that you are close with. They’ll likely know someone who works at a place you’d be interested in working for, and you may even get the placement easier because of knowing this person. I struggled to find a placement, even though I started searching for positions super early, I just couldn’t find a place I was truly invested in that was close enough for my parents to drive me back and for every day for a week. Luckily, when I told my form tutor this, he told me about a friend of his who worked at a vet, and from there, I managed to get a placement, even though they rarely take in students, simply due to this acquaintance. Connections are important when it comes to student occupations. If you still can’t find any student placements, use any online resources that are available to you. My school gave us the link to a website which listed loads of businesses that were open to having work-experience students, and yours may do the same. Although most of these were too far away from us to be realistic, doing this search gave me a good insight into the range of job prospects there are in the world, even if I didn't take much interest in any of them. So, by this stage of the process, you should have a list of around 5-10 possible placements that you are interested in. Before contacting these businesses, I would recommend you talk with your guardian/parent about each of them, and do your research on these businesses, verify that they are all commodious to you. It’s also important to know that you will need to be able to get transport there and back for the entirety of your placement, and this is something you should consider at this stage. After the researching of these businesses, you will have a remainder of about 3-6 companies, the next step is to send an email to them. This should include your name, the name of your school, dates you would like your placement for, description of why you would like the placement (I know this sounds bad, but you can lie here- just as long as you don’t pretend you have any qualifications- but even if you don’t want a career in science, it’s fine to say: ‘I am passionate about science and am considering a future career in this field.’). Make it short but sweet. Then, you wait. If you get multiple companies responding with “yes” then you need to think about which would be the most beneficial placement for you. Don’t feel bad if you need to send an email saying you’ve been offered another placement which you have decided to take instead. I promise it won’t affect them in the slightest. Overall, getting a work experience placement is nowhere near as daunting as it may first seem after trying these steps, which will allow you to get the best out of your placement and will hopefully aid you in the future when trying to decide your career. I hope this helped, - Non NonNow that the U.K. is going into its second lockdown, and the chances of us being out on December 3rd are bleak, It is time to get drawing rainbows again. Or is it? The rainbow has been a sign of hope in our time of need. As the saying goes ‘after every storm comes a rainbow’. This is why many of us have come together (metaphorically) by making, colouring or painting rainbows to add colour and a sense of unity to our neighbourhoods. As we are all going through this pandemic together. But back before lockdown, the rainbow was instantly synonymous with the LGBTQ+ community. It represented the diversity of the community and throughout the years many queer people have fought hard for that flag. So, it is understandable as to why they're upset that it has been taken away from them. But, now people see rainbows as a symbol of hope and as a way to celebrate the NHS. My suggestion is to bring back Wenlock and Mandeville, from the 2012 London Olympics mascots. Personally as an 11 year old (back then) I loved them because they looked like weird little alien people and because they brought the whole country together in excitement. This is why I think we should bring them back because we all need to be united. There are many qualities about their design which make them perfect for this role. But most notably the fact that they were "born from a rainbow". I mean how symbolic could we get? In the mini trailer, called “Out of the Rainbow” we see an elderly gentleman finishing up work building the Olympic stadium. He then takes home two bits of the stadium's scrap metal making them into “dolls” (the Olympic mascots) for his grandchildren. The rainbow then floods into the room bringing Wenlock and Maneville to life. Although it doesn’t make complete sense, it's a heartwarming tale and during these lockdown restrictions, the grandparents are in the at-risk category. Maybe that could be why Wenlock and Mandeville return. Many other qualities about Wenlock and Mandeville make them a good mascot of hope during these trying times. Such as Wenlock wearing the 5 Olympic rings as friendship bracelets. Which could act as a reminder to be kind to everyone as we are all going through the hardships of this pandemic together. - Josh JoshEveryone has that moment in their life when they are given some advice by someone who cares about them and then they completely ignore that advice, only to regret it months later when it turns out to be exactly what they needed. Lord knows I've been there. So I've decided to compile some of the most amazing advice I've ever been given (and may or may not have ignored) in the hopes that it might help some of you. No.1 - You can stop anytime. What I mean by this is that you are never bound to a situation for the rest of your life. You are free to change your mind, make new decisions or stop doing something that makes you unhappy. Giving yourself permission to stop and take a step back is important to see the bigger picture and make the right decision for you. Stopping is not failing. Quitting is not a weakness. You are the one in control here and you are free to stop whenever you feel the time is right. You haven’t failed because you have stopped, you have just stopped and stopping means that you may start up again when the time is right. But it can also mean that this chapter of your life is over and you have stopped for good - but that’s okay too. No.2 - The only way to guarantee failure is by not trying at all. Everyone's a little bit scared of failure. I know I am. One of the reasons I hated maths lessons in school was because I wasn't necessarily the best at it and so I was scared of getting the answer wrong, or failing. But one thing that I have learnt is that getting something wrong does not equal failure, but giving up and not even giving it a try does. If you don't try, then you are guaranteed to fail. If you at least give it a go, there is a chance that you will get it right and even if you don't, you tried and that is the most important thing. Don't let fear stop you from succeeding because there is always a chance as long as you try. No.3 - Don't stress about what you cannot change. I can tell you 100% that I am the worst person in the world when it comes to stressing myself out and panicking about things. Not only that, but I have a persistent habit of stressing about things which absolutely are not worth stressing about. This doesn't help anyone. You can't control everything so if you are going to stress about anything, you should only stress about things you can control and things you can change, rather than things you cannot. Don't stress about if it's going to rain on your friend's wedding day - if it rains, it's going to rain and you can't change the weather. Don't stress about if there is going to be traffic on the way to school - if you're worried, just set off a little earlier. The point is that stress is pointless if you can't control the thing which you're stressed about. It won't change anything and will only harm you in the end. The saying ‘keep calm and carry on’ truly does apply in this situation. Control what you can and carry on with what you can’t. No.4 - If people don't like you for you, don't change to make them like you. Every human has an insatiable need to fit in and be liked. I'm a total people pleaser so I avoid confrontation at all costs and lie about stupid things just so that I fit in. For example, I used to tell people that I watched shows like Coronation Street or Eastenders because everybody else did and I thought it would be weird if I didn't watch those shows too. Truth is, I hate Coronation Street and Eastenders with a passion and have never watched an episode in my life and would be more than happy to never watch an episode. I used to think that lying about these things would make people like me but these lies meant that they wouldn't have liked me, but instead liked the version of me that I had created and that's not fair. You should be able to surround yourself with people who like you for being the real you and allow you to be your most authentic self. If people don't like you because of who you are, then they aren't worth it. Don't change to fit other people's perfect view. You are a pretty perfect version of what you are already. No.5 - Celebrate even the smallest achievements. One thing that I have always struggled with is thinking that something I have achieved is insignificant and unimportant or not meaningful enough to deserve celebrations or congratulations. But the truth is that even the smallest achievements are worth celebrating if it is something you have done well or something that was difficult for you to do. For example, on my hardest days when I’m feeling really down and unmotivated, it can be almost impossible to do everyday things like get out of bed, brush my hair, clean my teeth etc. These seem like easy things to everyone else, but to me, on that day, they’re near impossible. Even doing little things like that deserves to be celebrated because it was difficult for me to do, and though they’re small to everyone else, they’re big things to me. Something doesn’t have to be huge or life-changing to be recognised and acknowledged as an achievement. Anything can deserve a commemoration if it is important to you. No.6 - Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. I absolutely love this quote with every inch of my being, so much so that I have multiple plaques dotted around my house all saying the same thing; life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. What this essentially means is that you can’t spend your life waiting for the right time or the perfect time to do something because you would be waiting forever. There is never a perfect time or a right time. However, there is value in making the most of a bad situation i.e. dancing in the rain. You need to learn to take the best from a bad situation and turn it around instead of waiting for everything to get better before moving on. Life is filled with challenges and always will be. When you are facing these challenges and these difficult decisions I want you to remember that, despite everything, you can still be happy and things can still be pretty good overall. If I wanted you to take one piece of advice from this article, I think this would be my recommended one because it has helped me throughout some of the hardest times in my life. No.7 - People are far more focused on themselves than they are on you. As humans, we have this notion that everyone around us is watching us all the time and are focused on what we are doing and what we are wearing and are scrutinising our every move. One thing to remember is that they are humans too and so they are thinking the exact same things that you are thinking but about you and about themselves. They generally don’t care what you’re wearing, they’re too busy focusing on what they’re wearing to take up brain space criticising and scrutinising your fashion sense and believe me, this goes for pretty much everything. In reality, most people do not really care for you on a deep and meaningful level. They care for themselves and how other people perceive them. Honestly, humans are fairly selfish beings, even if only on a minute scale. When you live a life truly on your own terms and know that no one really cares that much about what you are doing, you will be able to enjoy your life secure in the knowledge that what you are achieving is what is important to you regardless of what you once thought others were thinking. No.8 - You don't need to have a plan. I think that school and society have perpetuated this idea that you have to know what you want to do at 16 and that you have to have a plan for the rest of your life. Actually, I don’t think this is true at all. I don’t see how you can be expected to have a plan for everything and for your future when you are so young. I did and, to be blunt, my plan went completely pear-shaped and I am now doing something which is completely off-piste to that plan I had at 16 years old. A plan can be useful and necessary for some things, like a birthday party or what you’re going to cook for dinner, but you absolutely do not need a plan for everything and you should not be expected to have a plan for everything either. Sometimes, being spontaneous and just following the path that life takes you can be the best thing to do for your mental health and well-being. So let the river run. No.9 - Your best is all that you can do. Here we go with yet another cliche piece of advice. I promise that there is a reason that this advice is cliche though and that’s because it is 110% true and there is no way you can deny it. If you have done your best and there was absolutely nothing more you could have done or said, then that is all you can do and you can’t blame yourself for what happens afterwards. Recently, I had a job interview for a job that I was super excited about. I really really REALLY wanted this job - and I didn’t get it. However, when I had that interview, I gave it my all. I put my best foot forward, made it insanely obvious how passionate I was about the role, gave them an extensive list of all my skills, related everything I said to a specific experience in my life and made sure to interact as much as possible with the interviewers. There was nothing more I could have done in that interview that would have made them give me the job. I gave them everything I had and came out feeling positive and knowing that I couldn’t do any more and what will be will be. Sadly, what ended up was a rejection but as I say, I did all that I could. If you do all that you can, then that’s all that anybody can ask of you and you can hold your head up high regardless of what comes next. No.10 - Push your limits but not too far. It is important to push your limits and take yourself out of your comfort zone every now and again. You won’t progress if you stay comfortable because you won’t learn to cope with the things that you aren’t comfortable with and the things which challenge you and scare you. This is something that everyone always says. But a very wise person once added something to this well-known piece of advice. Make sure to take yourself out of your comfort zone but know your limits. Whilst it is great to move away from where you feel safe and comfortable, don’t push yourself so far that it is damaging to you. There is such a thing as going too far out of your comfort zone and when you get to that place, then it is a good time to stop and turn back before you hurt yourself and end up doing more damage and causing more pain than good. Keep an eye on yourself and your limits and don't burn out. I’m sure there are lots more pieces of helpful advice out there but these are just ten of the ones which I have found to help me the most. You are now free to do with them as you please. What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given? Please make sure to let us know in the comments and share your wisdom with the community. If it only helps one person, it’s worth it. ~ Kenzie KenzieLet’s start off with the childhood dream; Once upon a time, I was fascinated with vampires, and that intrigued me and I wanted to become one. So, the adventure started there, and that’s when I researched Vlad The Impaler ( Dracula ). From that, I've always had a love for vampires whilst growing up, and to now actually visit Vlad’s castle where he lived was beyond a childhood dream coming true. The emotions that I was experiencing whilst walking up to the castle were running through my head it was kind of hard to walk. But I managed to get to the top and in we went. Exploring the rooms of the castle, seeing the artwork there that was once Vlad’s. Next, we got to my favourite part of the castle, the courtyard. It was beyond beautiful and it even had a well for people to throw their money into! But the thing I liked about this area was when you stood on the pebbled stone and looked up at the castle roof. It was a sight I’ll never forget. Now, onto the second bit of this article. The reason I’ve included two subjects in this article is that it was experienced on the same day so I thought it would just be suitable. So, how is love “just a dream?” Well, for me it was happening over several years I just didn’t realize it. See, the person I travelled with to Dracula’s castle was a good friend of mine that I used to work with, but due to circumstances, they had to move back to their hometown. This meant that I couldn’t see them, but also we lost contact for a while. Within the time period, we worked together we both grew close and didn’t realize we actually liked each other. Sucks right? So, after 4-5 years we got back in touch and decided to meet up and make a trip out of it and from there we just became closer and closer. Actually realizing what we had both been missing over the years. After having two trips together, we both came to the terms of, yes we do like each other but we didn’t want to ask each other as we were both anxious about the outcome. So, that’s when we went on our trip to Dracula’s castle. The week of the trip I had been giving a few hints to my friend about how I really liked him and how I would love for him to ask me out. But, it just wasn’t getting through to them. The day finally came, we talked and they explained the reasons for waiting for so long to ask me and it seemed reasonable and I understood where they were coming from. So, when they finally asked me, I was like “Is this too good to be true?” I hesitated due to the reasons they gave me but overall, I knew that this was what I’d been wanting for, those 4-5 years of being clueless. I just wanted to say to them, FINALLY! But, deep down it was like my heart stopped and everything paused for a few minutes. I was happy that all this happened within one day, who would believe it? Was it all just a dream?
MelOne day, I was walking home with my mum, An old man called me love, Told me to give him a lick of my ice cream, I was seven. and it still makes me wanna scream. One day, I wore my favourite skirt to the shops, I got catcalled by a man someone probably called "pops", My mum told me "take it as a compliment" I was fourteen and no longer comfortable in my skin. One day, I went out with my friends to town, what Ii was wearing should not matter, but to every guy who saw me it did, I was fifteen, and realised that this was normal. I shouldn't be afraid to go out at night in fear of harassment, but i am. I shouldn’t have had to worry about it at 14, but i did. I shouldn't take it as a compliment, It was not. JemimaHandling your finances is something I think isn’t taught enough, yet it’s the path to leading a comfortable life. Capitalism, as defined by ‘Investopedia’ - a financial education website - is the economic state whereby property and industries that have monetary value are controlled by private owners. This system can greatly disadvantage the working class, i.e. people like you and me - so I wanted to write about ways in which you make this capitalistic system work in your favour without compromising your values. I’ll start by writing about how to budget, and later delve into more complex financial topics like savings accounts and investing. I want to preface that I’m by no means an expert, this is just what I have researched, and would like to spread the knowledge - so please do your own research as well! Budgeting is described by ‘Investopedia’ as a plan regarding the income and expenses for a particular time frame. This process, while tedious, will allow you to see patterns in your spending, and control it better in order to ensure that you are always on top of your finances. Finances have been a thing that I have been taught to fear. I can’t actually say that I’ve ever been at a place where money has not been an issue, and so it’s developed lots of anxiety around spending, receiving monetary gifts or loans from others etc. There may be times I needed to pay someone back but couldn’t until later on. This created a mentality that working is the only way I can create a sufficient and comfortable lifestyle for myself. A mentality that I have to work to survive. But I’ve tried to challenge that by taking control of my finances, rather than enduring conditions I don’t like, in order to keep my head above water. One way I was able to do this was through budgeting; I recently received my first paycheck from my internship and was able to use a budgeting technique to split up my income between needs, wants, and unexpected situations. Here’s how I did it:
‘Money Under 30’, another financial education website, suggests a common budgeting technique to use is the 50/30/20 rule. In this, you save 50% of your income on essentials like groceries, rent etc., spend 30% of your income on what you want, and contribute the remaining 20% on your savings (including retirement) and investments. So, hypothetically, if you brought in £1000 (with the consideration of tax): Essentials - £500 Wants - £300 Savings - £200 Money Fit’s 50/30/20 online budget calculator can work this out quickly for you, however, there are many alternatives online also. An important thing to note is that this is completely customisable to your situation, you can change how much you allocate to each section, so it requires a lot of self-discipline and awareness to understand how much you can distribute to each part. To practice self-discipline you have to be honest with yourself - I usually ask myself how beneficial a certain spend would be in the long run; could I possibly use that spend on something that provides me more gratification in the future? Here are some more ways to practice discipline:
One way to learn how to be more aware of your budget is to keep a basic excel sheet that breaks down your income and expenses. The Balance, financial education website, also has a simple template that you can copy and paste into a document and adapt to your circumstances. Alternatively, there are other free templates online that help keep an eye on your finances without the hassle of creating the template yourself (unless that’s your thing). I personally use ‘Aspire’, which tracks transactions as they are made - it’s a little technical but they have a Reddit account that you can ask questions on, and detailed instructions to get you set up.
Now you may be lost on what the “Savings” section of the budgeting technique might be made up of. Savings would constitute your emergency fund (saving if you unexpectedly lose your job, or something breaks etc.), investments, and retirement fund. Because of this, it might be easier to put your savings into a savings account. So far this technique has taught me that finance is not something to fear - granted, I’m not going to say it's not stressful, but budgeting has given my finances a lot more structure. I understand there is more to learn, but it's not something that has to control you, more so, it's the other way around. I think understanding finances is something quite empowering, especially when there has been constant worry about where your finances would go. However, it’s important to remember that your finances don’t have to define your life experience, especially because I found myself unable to do things I wanted due to financial constraints, like attending paid events, going on holiday, or simply eating out. When I had the time I looked for free activities I could do, and any financial support I could find online like grants or scholarships during university. I learned that with or without financial constraints, it’s still important to let yourself live, rather than just survive. I’m still learning how to do this, but it’s about ensuring that your finances don’t control you - both by learning about finance and by living in spite of it as much as you can. Unfortunately, not everyone is equipped to find out more about this topic. Some may not know where to start with researching, or just don’t understand the admittedly complicated lingo in some of these sites. Weeks ago I didn’t know any of this information, so I don’t blame you for being unsure. Its absence in our education system means that we interpret finances as something that lacks priority, or at least, is too complicated for anyone to understand, let alone teach. I hope that this information gives you an idea about where to get started. Here are some sites which can help you with this a little more https://www.investopedia.com/financial-edge/1109/6-reasons-why-you-need-a-budget.aspx https://n26.com/en-eu/blog/50-30-20-rule#:~:text=The%20basic%20rule%20of%20thumb,money%20to%20work%20more%20efficiently. Stay Safe! - Rae References https://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/budget.asp https://www.moneyunder30.com/percentage-of-income-should-you-save-every-month#:~:text=Many%20sources%20recommend%20saving%2020,at%20least%2020%25%20for%20savings. https://moneyfit.org/50-30-20-budget-calculator https://www.thebalance.com/budget-worksheet-income-and-necessities-453596 Aspire Budgeting RaeI thought I had it all sorted out; I would live with my friends, we would have a blast at university together, and nothing could possibly go wrong. I was wrong. People are not the same when you have to share the same space for extended periods of time. Living with friends can seem like a really fun idea, probably one that you’ve been planning with them for a long time. However, it’s not always pretty. You never really know the habits of your friends as you have never had to experience what they’re like at home for a long time. I’ve had multiple experiences with living with friends after I moved out for university. You want to be comfortable with the people you’re living with and the easiest way to do that is to live with someone you know. However, it all changes when you’re in the same space. You start to notice a lot more problems that you wouldn’t have if you weren’t sharing the same space. In my first year of university, I lived in university halls and had made friends with my flatmates prior to meeting them. They were a great bunch of people, extremely friendly, sociable and accommodating. As I stayed in that space more I started to realise that they were quite messy, loud and quite dramatic. I tried to keep to my own space but they constantly pushed boundaries and invaded that space. I eventually ended up cutting ties with all those people that I initially lived with as I could not get along with them at all. From there I realised something important - we don’t have the same upbringing. The type of habits and characters that they have in their living space was greatly influenced by the way they were brought up. What would be normal to me would not have necessarily been normal to them, so really I didn’t need to take everything personally. However, it was affecting my mental health and comfort so I need to find people who would respect the boundaries I had and I would do the same for them. One of the first steps to living with friends is having boundaries and also respecting their own. There may be things that you’ll let slide but remember you’re living together and it is a shared space at the end of the day. Just because they’re your friend doesn’t mean you should feel uncomfortable in your home. If you are upset one day they should either know how to navigate that or respect that you might just want your own space. I am lucky enough to live with people who respect that I have off days and we can communicate that with each other so that we don’t offend one another. Another tip is to prepare yourself for uncomfortable conversations. These types of difficult conversations and conflicts usually arise in friendship when having to share the same space. You begin to see another side of them that you might not have had a chance to explore when you weren’t living together. It’s okay to have these conversations and you don’t always have to agree. In fact, it makes your friendship stronger because you’re understanding your differences better. Living with friends always sounds like the better option than living with strangers. In most cases it is. However, the fear of losing a good friendship can hold you back from making that decision in case you can’t live comfortably with them. It’s understandable to have these fears, but always recognise that in most friendships, you’re in there because you value this person and they value you. Therefore differences you may face can be overcome.
TabithaFor nearly 3 years now I’ve been suffering from Non-Epileptic Seizures. It all started back in 2018 when I was on my way back from London and woke up on a train station platform. The train staff were very comforting, letting me know what happened. What I wasn’t expecting was what the reason was for me to be lying on the train station platform. One of the kind staff said to me, “Melissa, you have had a seizure, we’ve phoned your dad and he’s on his way. We got your information from your passport and then contacted your emergency contact”. At first, I was panicking, as I’d never had a seizure before I was never known to have them. But my brother was! He was epileptic and on the way back from the station I was with my dad in the car and all these questions were going around in my head. “What has caused this seizure to happen?” “Did I knock my head hard on the floor?” - As I had an awful headache after the incident. What I didn’t realise was what effect this would have later on in my life. I would start to have daily seizures and this restricted me from working as I was working in a nightclub at the time. So, when I went to get tested, they ruled out it was epileptic seizures at first. But, a few months on, it was proven not to be epileptic seizures; it was a case of Non-Epileptic seizures. At first, I had no knowledge of what this diagnosis was but by doing my own research I have average knowledge of what it is now. Today, 3 years on I still suffer from these seizures and they have changed my life. They have caused me to go jobless and not be fit to work. That means I’m stuck at home all day every day. Also not being allowed to drive as it’s dangerous if I do so. That limited me to where I can go as I live on the outskirts of my town. But what has affected me the most is losing my friends. I’ve lost a lot of my friends due to these seizures as my friends are scared to be around me. At first, they were okay with it but as it became a regular thing they just got fed up, I guess. I was touring with my friends known as Jedward and I had a seizure just before the concert. So this leads to an ambulance being called and the decision my friends had to make, ‘Who would go with me in the ambulance?’ Luckily I felt okay after a check-up in the ambulance and I was bouncing back half an hour later just in time for the concert. It was a weird experience. Normally when I have a seizure, I have a massive headache and I’m drained but this time that wasn’t the case. After this experience, I did learn who my true friends were but I also learnt that I can’t expect everyone to wait around for me. I would want them to enjoy their time and not be in an ambulance missing the concert. 3 years ago, yes this would have upset me to see my friends leave me to go to the concert without me, but now, I see it as a positive because I’m not dragging them behind and making them miss out on a fun experience. It’s grand to realize that everything happens for a reason, you find out who your true friends are the hard way. But then again do you have to see it like that? Try to turn it into a positive so it’s good for your mindset.
MELMy faith has been something that I have had a very complex journey with. It is a journey filled with lots of suffering, tribulation, confusion, immeasurable joy, great peace, pursuit of truth and answers, and a journey that I’m still taking to this day. Honestly, this feels very big for me because, for the first time ever, I am going to do what the church calls bearing witness which means talking about how Jesus changed my life. My journey starts all the way back to when I was a baby. During that time period, my mom and dad were with the Catholic Church and baptized me in it when I was one. However, due to numerous ideological differences, my parents chose to leave the Catholic Church and set off to enter a relatively new church called Buckhead Church. My parents really liked and connected with this church and as a small child, so did I. I continued to attend Buckhead Church for many years enjoying the way it related the Bible to the modern day. I believe a lot of this enjoyment came from the fact that during that period of time, my religious views were not challenged at all. Doubts started to arise however when I was in 7th grade, since some of my friends were atheists who were very open about their lack of belief. This was the first time ever that I felt like I had my beliefs challenged and not knowing how to react, the first seeds of doubt were planted. Entering a Catholic high school didn’t help either. There I was taught things that seemed directly opposed to my middle school and church. Where my middle school and church taught me to love and accept all people regardless of background, my High School was more conservative and some of their views felt like they contradicted and nullified what I had learned previously. Also, I had a huge falling out with all of my friends during my freshman year. These events ended up causing me to lose my faith in God at the time because in my mind, “How could it be possible that God is an all-loving being but at the same time be homophobic and religionist as well as allow me to lose everyone that I thought was close to me at school?”. For about two years of my life, I became pretty atheistic, untrusting, insecure, and very resentful toward myself. In fact, I began to hate myself so much that I ended up doing something that I really really regret now: I started to sink pretty deep into a porn addiction. I didn’t care how evil it was at the time but I just wanted pleasure, happiness and anything that could get me to forget how horrible and depressed I felt. As expected, it brought no joy whatsoever. On my 11th-grade retreat, however, I heard a testimony from one of my school missionaries about his journey to Christ and his battle with his own porn addiction to get there. I related to his story so much that I decided to cut it off once and for all. Little did I know that this was the first step to my journey back into the arms of the Lord. It wasn’t until I read the Divine Comedy at school that I felt that I wanted to reconnect with my faith. The book had a lot to say about the spiritual life and I ended up finding that very interesting. While reading the book, I decided to communicate with God again through prayer. It started out as kind of scary at first but after a while, it became pretty comforting actually. It was at a retreat that my small group from Church and I went to that things really started heating up. It was right there that I had what I’d call an ‘Aha!’ Moment. I really bonded with my small group and really felt the presence of God radiating all over during that experience. But still, there was a long journey ahead of me. It was the end of my spring break and there was a lot of talk about this “COVID” thing escalating quickly. Little did I know, however,that my entire world would be turned totally upside down. When the lockdown began and everything went online, I was completely hurt, scared, and lost because I had always been one to try to look into the future in order to find a likely outcome based on everything going on and this time around, I couldn’t find a likely foreseeable thing that I could be certain will happen. I scoured everywhere for answers but all around me were nothing but clueless experts, scientists, and politicians. All of this eventually led me to seek the answers that I craved from the only person who I knew wasn’t clueless at all: Jesus Christ. It was during the pandemic that I felt that I truly accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. -Alejandro P.S: To be honest, my choosing to finally say yes to Christ was only the beginning since before me was a road that involved much more struggle and confusion after that. This is a road that I haven’t finished crossing yet but I continue to walk vigilantly. I hope this article may provide you with comfort and hope after reading it. Alejandro |
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