Pushing forward through failure

Failure. It’s something that we all actively try to avoid. However, it still plays a significant part in our lives. Having to overcome and learn from it, when it continuously shows up unannounced, is something we all need to learn how to do. But this is no small feat. Failure is often accompanied by negative thoughts and emotions, making it even harder to try to get back on our feet. 

The definition of failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and it happens quite often. It follows us in our school grades, our relationships, our jobs, and some blows hit harder than others. We can feel drained and lost, confused about what step to take next, burned out, and burdened. 

I’ve had to deal with failure in many aspects of my life. But something that’s been riddled with it is my academics. Recently, I’ve been studying for the SATs (the college admission test for The US) for months, and each time I took a practice test, I kept getting lower and lower scores. I started to get scared, terrified of the fact that I’d get a horrible score on the actual exam. So I began to push myself harder. I’d spend more time practicing, take more practice tests, but I just kept getting worse. Even though these bad scores weren’t my actual results, it made me fearful of what the final score would be, which pushed me down even further. I thought the rest of my future was riding on this score. These results shut me down. I was reluctant to keep going. The fear and anxiety started to spill over into many other parts of my life, bringing them to a screeching halt. I wasn’t able to focus on school or study for exams. I wasn't able to keep up with my extracurriculars. All because of a stupid test score. 

After going through this experience, spiraling downward multiple times, I’ve been able to piece together a sort of routine to pull myself out.

First, take a step back. When failure pops up again and again, our first impulse may be to immediately make up for it, trying to work harder. But many times, it can lead to burnout or feeling even more defeated than before, which could make the process of moving forward even harder. Let go of the thing that's causing you some trouble for a bit and try to focus on other things going on in life. This could be working on learning dance or a new song or even what's happening in a TV show that you're currently watching. Maybe try something that's the polar opposite of what you're having trouble with. 
 
After recuperating for a bit, try to find out why you're not getting your desired outcome. Analyze your mistakes to find out their source. Try to sit down with a mentor, by yourself, or even with a friend and discuss the mistakes you’ve made to see what could've gone better. From this, you can focus on the aspects that need more work. It may even help to start off from square one again, re-learning everything.  

But most importantly and the hardest: have faith in yourself. One reason we have trouble continuing in the face of failure is that we don’t believe we can go on anymore. We are scared that we may not get to where we want to be. It often helps to surround yourself with as much positivity as possible. Listen to upbeat music, dance like a maniac from time to time, read positive affirmations, and try to always tell yourself, ‘you can do it!’ The positivity will rub off on you, which can give you an extra boost in motivation and just make you feel better in general. 

Failure will never stop popping by, but it’s up to us whether we want to battle it or use it. It's always a hard journey, but keep pushing. For every little step you take, give yourself a pat on the back. Make sure you know that everything you are doing right now is what matters. Shine the limelight on the next step instead of the result. And always remember, even if something that you are doing or did is something you’d call a failure, you are never a failure. 

Keep pushing, and you’ll soon be in the stars.

Jahannavi :)