|
Feeling empty has got to be one of the weirdest things in the world. It’s not an emotion, so you don’t feel sad or angry or upset, but there’s still something that’s just not quite… right. The word itself means there’s nothing, so why, as I write this, do I feel as though a weight is dragging me down at my chest? I like to pretend I’m on top of everything by making schedules, picking up hobbies, and setting myself challenges and goals. I’m not, though, and that gives me an empty feeling. It’s as though no matter what I do I can’t seem to fill this void of… something… which constantly weighs me down, filling me with absolutely nothing at all. The concept itself is ridiculous, add that to the actual ‘feeling’ and you have a recipe for disaster. When I feel this way, it’s as though my life goes almost hazy, or foggy, like I’m watching everything happen, without actually being involved. So, what do I think you should do when you feel empty? - Talk to friends or people you are comfortable around. This doesn’t mean you have to unload all of your emotions on them, because you may not even really understand how you’re feeling (hence, the emptiness). When I’m down, I like to joke around with my mates until, hopefully, I forget I was ever feeling iffy in the first place. - Binge watch TV. As I said before, I love setting schedules for myself to keep busy, but I always optionally forget to give myself any downtime. There’s this saying I know that always stops me (I know this isn’t very smart, but that’s my mind): ‘You regret the things you don’t do in life more than the things you do.’ For some reason, this stops me from remembering that I need to care for myself because I don’t see self-care as something that will help me in the future. This is not the case! And, when I’m feeling empty, I remember that. I turn on my laptop, open Netflix, and start watching whatever show is next (right now, that’s Big Bang Theory; Sheldon is a legend). - Write. Now, I know this is more of a personal one to me, but my advice would be to do something you find therapeutic, calming, and stress-free which, for me, is writing! I also love journaling because it is so fun therapeutic, and completely personal to you; you can do whatever you want with it. - Eat something. I’m not saying go and down a whole bag of crisps (although I wouldn’t blame you, they are very scrummy), instead just think about when you last had a nutritious meal. If you feel the way I do, it was probably a while ago, which is why you are now lacking in energy (I know, I’m practically a scientist). - Drink water! If you’re like me, you have a beautiful Chilly’s water bottle filled to the brim right next to you on your desk. Yet, for some reason, you still don’t drink a drop. Why? If you are reading this right now, drink something. We both know you should. - Listen to sad music and cry. This might sound ridiculous but, from my own experience, there’s nothing like a good cry to let out all those confused emotions. Plus, your eyes will be all shiny afterwards (just ignore the redness) and you will feel all refreshed and ready to leave whatever the heck that emptiness was way behind. So, we can all agree that feeling empty, well, isn’t the best (put lightly) but I hope that the above tips can help a little when you are feeling this way. It is also key to remember that, although things are bad now, they will get better. Trust me, I know. I hope this helped :) Have a brill day xx
Chloë
0 Comments
Lots of people like to talk about ‘self-care’ when it comes to mental health and recovery. You might have seen suggestions for lighting candles, taking a long bubble bath, or reading a favourite book. These are all great suggestions when it comes to taking care of yourself at your lowest points. However, no one likes to talk about the uglier side to this because it’s, well, ugly! I am 21, at university, and I like to think I have experience with bad mental health, particularly with trying what feels like hundreds of methods of “self-care”. For me, they were a replacement for going to the doctor (which you definitely should do) because I was absolutely terrified of giving a name to things like depression and anxiety. I have spent many nights listening to Hozier turned all the way up, trying yoga, painting, playing an instrument, eating healthily, and even journaling. Writing down things I like about myself, things I’m good at, reminding myself that pain and sadness are temporary, leaving countless Post-Its across my old bedroom. There are lots of ‘pretty’ ways to look after yourself. Candles and bubble baths (as I mentioned before) aromatherapy, clean sheets, and a long walk through the park. Instagram, in particular, is a place where these things are shown, with accounts and hashtags dedicated to pictures of fluffy dogs and colourful flowers, peaceful landscapes, and extensive skincare routines. I vividly remember trawling through these images, feeling all the more broken because none of them made me feel better. None of them fixed me. My self-care on some days involved just getting out of bed. Making a start on an essay, even if that was only writing out the title. Just having breakfast felt like an accomplishment. I would come home from sixth form on a Friday, exhausted, and not shower until Monday morning when I had to go back again. Moisturising my arms, throwing my uniform in the wash, and even brushing my teeth and hair felt impossible. When you feel like this, and I’m sure most people have had an experience like this at least once, self-care seems so far from reach. Being okay can feel so far from reach. Sometimes self-care isn’t flowers and being clean and having perfect skin. Yes, these things can make you feel better, but they should never be seen as a substitute for professional help, which a lot of people like to portray. Not many people like to show this side to themselves, surprisingly enough, and this is a HUGE problem. There is a stigma towards symptoms of mental illness and the knee-jerk reaction to coping with them that is just never talked about. The point is, both methods of self-care and recovery are FINE! Whether you use ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ ways, it doesn’t matter! But both need to be talked about. It is always okay to struggle and reach out to someone, I know I felt so much better when I did to my best friend. It is always okay to not conform to whatever Instagram tells you to do. Find what’s best for you and you alone. - Kaitlyn KaitlynI don’t know how it started, but one thing I was sure about was that I felt disgusted about myself. I realized that my present self was shaped by emotionally detached experiences in childhood. I didn’t get as much love as my siblings got. I got physical and emotional punishment. Also, being the first kid compelled me to act like a mature person, like being a projection when my parents fought. I was treated like this even when I was still learning how to count 1+1. It was too painful to tell but, my childhood turned me into an unhappy, heartless kid. I resented myself and wondered if I was worthy to live this life. I was being mocked for my unhappy personality in my childhood. I once asked my family, “What was the happiest moment when I was a child?”. I couldn’t wait to see my family’s response, but instead, they responded “Oh, nothing that made you happy. You are just a gloomy kid”. My self-esteem went down immediately. I was haunted by anger and regrets. I wanted to point a finger and blame someone but I couldn’t. It took me years to accept my childhood experience. But, I stand here for anyone who has the same feelings. You are not alone. Here are some things to remember that helped me let my wounded unhappy childhood go.
Admittedly, forgiving the past would be hard. Several times, I thought ‘If I wasn’t..’ or ‘I wouldn’t be here if I was..”. But remind yourself that the past can’t be changed. Let the past be a history. Use it as a power to grow yourself. The story is not only just past tense. But it can be used in present and future tense, and you have the power to write your own. - Syfia SyfiaWhen you hear the word addiction, your mind automatically goes to drugs or alcohol. These things are considered bad for you when consumed in abundance. However, addiction can be of other kinds too. Addiction to gambling, shopping, and binge eating are just to name a few. Today, I’m going to shed some light on the addiction to cleaning or making sure your environment is perfect at all times. Now, the addiction to cleaning is not necessarily OCD but can be a symptom of it. If you think you might suffer from it, it is best to go and get a diagnosis from a professional doctor. Cleaning is almost always considered to be a positive thing. Cleanliness helps with focus; it reduces environmental health problems and might even help you sleep better. However, sometimes the obsession with cleaning might lead you to a point where you’re not able to sleep if your shoes are not in the cupboard or you can’t focus on your studies because the books are not in order. Some reasons why people may tend to clean up a lot can include the need to feel that they’re in control or the need to see everything around them in symmetry. Most of these habits do not raise any mental health flags as personalities vary and some just like having everything clean. However, if it is hindering your daily life, it would be wise to check with a doctor. It’s a good time to see a doctor when you’re spending hours cleaning one spot over and over or you wake up in the middle of the night just to clean the kitchen shelves and do not understand the motive behind your actions. As a person, I love having everything around me spick and span. I cannot start studying/working unless I have made my bed. I cannot sleep unless all my clothes are neatly folded in the closet and my books are in their designated spots. However, on some days, I let it go. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to clean up or I just have more urgent things to do. I understand my motive behind cleaning everything. In the morning, it is to be 100% focused on my tasks and at night it’s to make sure something does not poke my eye out as I sleep. Just like personality, people have different aesthetics too. For example, some people love having their work desk overflowing with plants and pictures while others go for a minimalistic look. I personally love the idea of having two books and a clean desk to start with every day. In conclusion, the need for a clean environment is good when it's just that. However, when it’s paired with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, it might not be just wanting a clean environment anymore. If you suffer from addiction or want to talk to someone about it, contact your local addiction helpline or contact this UK-based web chat for support. Always remember, that it is never too late to ask for support. https://www.addaction.org.uk/webchat Stay safe and stay happy <3 Aiza x AizaEveryone is dealing with something. Everyone has issues and everyone struggles. Everyone, except me. I hear stories about the students at my school; someone’s dad died. Someone else’s parents had split up. Another is depressed, another is anorexic. Whilst all this is happening, I feel so guilty. I know it’s not my fault, but my life is so easy compared to other people’s. I just don’t think it’s fair. How can I talk to someone normally when I know she forces herself to throw up the food she eats every day? That’s why I’ve decided to do everything I can to help people who are struggling. At school, if anyone ever needs someone to talk to, they know that I am here. In fact, over summer I messaged my friend who is battling anorexia just to offer her some support and someone to talk to. It might not seem like a big gesture, but small acts of kindness like this can make someone feel worthy and encouraged to keep going. I also know how intense some people find school and how they can find it difficult to cope with both their mental health as well as their grades. This is why, last year, I was a maths buddy to someone in the year below who was struggling, just to help them get back on track. I have also had a few revision sessions with my friends who work better in a more relaxed and one-to-one environment, because I understand how stressful they find the school atmosphere. It’s also really important to just be there for others. My friends know I’m here for them if and when they want to talk about anything, and I always make sure to listen intently and try my best to help them in whatever way I can, even if that just means giving them a hug. Here’s a few tips on how to help those who are struggling;
I’ve joined TWE to try and help others, like our readers. I just hope that these articles do help you in some way because the whole team is here for you. We want to support you in any way we can. So really, I just want to write a quick note to you. Yes, you, the amazing, brilliant, kind, talented and worthy person reading this right now. You can do this and you will do this. You are loved and you are treasured by those around you and we all want you to thrive. Overall, if you are on the ‘other side’, I advise you to do as many small things as possible to make the lives of those struggling just a tiny bit easier. You could do this by simply asking how they are doing, and if they need any help. I hope this helped :) Have a fantastic day! ChloëTrigger warnings. Everyone with a mental illness who is on the internet has heard of them. A trigger warning (or content warning as it may also be called) is a short warning at the start of a social media post, photo, piece of art, TV show, advert or any other type of media that alerts the consumer as to what kind of content could be in that product. For example, you may have seen “TW: abuse, trauma” at the start of social media posts about the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp court trial, or “TW: suicide mention, drug abuse” at the beginning of TV shows like 13 Reasons Why. These are there so that if troubling topics upset you or trigger your mental illness or certain thoughts, you can either avoid the thing or you can proceed with caution. Many people have triggers, and there are so many. However, that doesn’t make them any less important or relevant. If someone sees triggering content then they could relapse, hurt themselves, be upset or just be uncomfortable. We at TWE make sure to know people’s triggers so that we can let them know of any triggering content in our movie nights, or our articles and social media. That way, our members and followers can avoid the content and protect themselves. TV shows like 13 Reasons Why have been in hot water over trigger warnings in the past. If you’re unfamiliar with the franchise, 13 Reasons Why is about a young girl who commits suicide and then leaves pre-recorded tapes detailing all of the reasons why she did it, intended for certain people to listen to. The show follows one of her friends listening to the tapes. The TV programme showed a graphic scene of Hannah’s (the protagonists) suicide, with very little warning. The warning that was there said that the content may be unsuitable for younger viewers. When the season launched on Netflix, social media erupted about how the gruesome scene triggered young people around the world who had mental health difficulties, and even contributed to some suicides, as they couldn’t get the image out of their heads. This shows the glaring importance of sufficient and informative trigger warnings. Since then, Netflix has removed the scene from the show, and now shows a video of some of the actors before the series telling viewers to watch with someone they trust, or don’t watch at all. The use of trigger warnings has thankfully been increasing, especially online. I personally try to use trigger warnings wherever I can, even if the topic isn’t triggering to me personally. If you do see something online that doesn’t have a trigger warning, you may feel upset, scared, or anxious. If you feel comfortable, message the owner of the content (or have a friend do it for you) and let them know that the content they posted is triggering and they may have upset many more people. Hopefully, the poster will add a trigger warning and remember in future. We are all human, and sometimes we forget things. If you do see something online that triggers you and you feel you may hurt yourself or someone else in any way, please don’t hesitate to tell an adult, a friend or call your local emergency number to get help. 999/111 in the UK 911 in the US KatI found out I was a little during my freshman year of college. Quite the time to figure it out, hmm? I remember learning about “little gear”, or things that can help you into “littlespace” and feel more comfortable in your regression. New things can oftentimes seem very scary because of new terminology, experiences, feelings, and terminology, so let’s break it down a bit! Terminology
Being an agere isn’t easy. There’s a lot of stigma that follows suit. A lot of people consider it to be very disturbing and oftentimes morally wrong, leaving ageres to be stuck in a place where we can feel like we’re doing something wrong—something that we oftentimes need in order to get through life. Q: So how do you become more comfortable being an age regressor? A: It depends on you. What is it that makes you uncomfortable about being an age regressor? Is it that it’s different? Is it the stigma? All in all, it might just be that you need to embrace it. Radical acceptance can get you many places! Q: What little gear can I get to help age regress if I’m not in a place I can freely be one? A: It depends! If you’re not in a space where you can freely be one, you might want to have some incognito ways to do so. Personally, I have stuffies from my childhood I “don’t want to let go of because of memories.” I love penguins and get cute things with them. I make being animated and cute part of my joking personality so I can get away with it sometimes. Sometimes it’s holding someone’s finger or two fingers with my whole hand to feel smaller. Q: I’m x age, can I still be a little / middle / agere? A: Of course! Being a little / middle is only dependent on you being older than your little / middle age. Q: Is being a little / middle / agere bad? A: Not at all. It’s a way you’re coping and you aren’t hurting anybody at all. Be yourself, you’re beautiful and valid. Keep your head up, the sun still rises! Mercury ( Pitch ) Neon Helplines:
Mercury (pITCH)When hearing the word “daydreaming”, I imagine getting briefly distracted in math class before snapping myself out of it. That may not necessarily align with how you imagine daydreaming, but in the end, it can be harmless. Daydreaming is defined as separating oneself from external reality and immersing oneself in their head. It is surprisingly very common among people. A study conducted by Harvard in 2010 found that people spend about 47% of their waking hours daydreaming. Upon hearing that statistic, you might panic and think that is too much time to spend daydreaming; however, a wandering mind can be beneficial as it can motivate you. If daydreaming can be harmless, why am I writing this article? In my case, I am not just daydreaming, but I am maladaptive daydreaming. Maladaptation is defined as the inability to adequately adjust in an environment or situation. Maladaptive daydreaming are daydreams that are so intense, they can interfere with daily life. I have suffered from these for years, they became the most prominent when I was in middle school. I knew that I had an issue when I started to feel genuine emotions from my daydreams. If you are hoping that I somehow overcame these intense daydreams and am sharing my advice, I am sorry to inform you that is not the case. Writing this article allowed me to learn more about this condition and explore the possible causes and solutions for my problem. I spend a significant amount of my waking hours daydreaming, a lot more than the common 47%. The content of my daydreams are intense as well. In my head, I have created a whole new life, the only thing I have kept is my name. I will not be going into details about what these daydreams hold, due to sheer embarrassment, but at least I can recognize this is not normal. Anyone who suffers from maladaptive daydreaming can agree that we have had issues arrive from our inability to live outside of our heads. The list I have provided below are issues I have because of my maladaptive daydreaming.
Along with the issues I have from maladaptive daydreaming, it is important to target the causes for my refusal to face reality. Facing these and figuring out healthier ways to cope is vital in the process of stopping my maladaptive daydreaming.
The good thing about this situation is my awareness that I am daydreaming too vividly and too much. Unfortunately, it is not officially recognized as an illness, but it is much rather seen as a symptom of other illnesses. Maladaptive daydreaming is the most present in people with anxiety, depression, and OCD. While I am not clinically diagnosed with any of these conditions, I know that I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming and I hope to eventually overcome it. Maladaptive daydreaming is an addiction for me. My fantasy world constantly entices me, even when I am in the middle of a social interaction. I hope that my experiences with this condition has helped other people realize they need help, or even educate people who may not suffer from this. Maladaptive daydreaming is an issue that needs to be talked about more, and I hope that it becomes a stronger talking point when it comes to mental health. CamilleOkay, so a lot of people have their own viewpoints on what autism actually is, and a lot of these opinions are media based. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a developmental disorder, and has many different factors, including but not limited to, social interaction, communication (both verbal and non-verbal), intellectual capacity and repetitive behaviours. When people hear autism, they typically think of Rainman, Sheldon Cooper, or the highly intelligent, quiet person at school that is socially awkward. That is autism, but that isn’t solely what it is. I was diagnosed a few months ago with high-functioning autism. This basically means that I’m able to communicate to a degree, although I find it difficult, and I struggle picking up on a lot of different social cues, and struggle in some social situations. I do have a higher IQ than a lot of people my age, and I have some extreme obsessions, namely with music. It’s my strongest passion. Mention George Ezra or Lewis Capaldi and I could talk for hours with no issues. It took 17 years for me to actually be diagnosed, because first of all, I’m a girl. There are so many differences between boys and girls being diagnosed. Boys display autism differently from girls. It’s so much harder to receive a correct diagnosis as a girl, often being told that it’s “typical girl behaviour” because of our obsessions, or social awkwardness and that all girls do it. I showed behaviours from a young age, but was told “I’ll grow out of it.” I didn’t. Fast forward to age 15, I was receiving some help for my anxiety when I was asked about my thoughts on Autism, and if I thought I maybe had it. At first, I was in denial, going off the stereotypes. I did some research, and deliberated for a while. It makes so much sense. I went through a test called an ADOS, which is used to help diagnose autism in children and young people, and a week later I was given a diagnosis. I’ve found over the past few months, when I tell people about autism, or have seen other things on social media, there are a lot of misconceptions and people jump to conclusions. I want to address a few of these. “You don’t look autistic.” This is probably one of the worst things that you can say to someone who has been diagnosed. There isn’t a set look when you’re autistic, it’s not like we have 3 eyes or a horn coming out of our heads. “Oh my god you must be so smart can you do my homework?” No. I’m not doing your maths homework. Or your science homework. I’m hopeless at both, they’re not my thing at all. “Are you sure you’re autistic? You don’t act like it?” This is one of the more annoying ones, where people look taken aback because you’re actually able to engage in conversation. “Don’t you have those ear defenders things?” Nope, I like to joke about it with close friends, but I can actually process a lot of sensory things. They’re helpful, but I’m not reliant on them. Now this one is even more annoying, but people try to compare me to another autistic person they know. “Oh but my friend's cousin's sister is autistic and she’s non-verbal.” Okay? It’s called a SPECTRUM. Where everyone is completely different. This also means it isn’t just a straight line, with non-verbals at one end, and high functioning, maths geniuses at the other. It’s so much more complex than that. No two autistics are the same. So, I hope I helped with some of the misconceptions. For any autistics, or those waiting to be diagnosed, if you ever want help, I’d highly recommend looking at the National Autistic Society’s website. They have a lot of information, and in some areas, they even have support groups, which I personally think could be brilliant! -Alicia Alicia
It is not uncommon to gaze off into the distance when distracted or deep into thought. At times, our surroundings may seem blurry and noises may become quiet as we sink into our mind. However in some cases, if one feels themselves disconnecting frequently or for long periods of time, it may not be typical. The difference between simply daydreaming and dissociation is that dissociation is the lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, and one’s identity. This includes feeling detached from your environment and the people around you. This can include feeling emotionally numb and light-headed.
So why do some people dissociate? There are many reasons as to why one may disconnect. The majority of the time, it is a response to trauma, including memories of the trauma. However, it can also be a sign of mental exhaustion. Dissociation can last anywhere from hours to weeks, and can be a symptom of a mental disorder such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, PTSD, etc. Dissociation might also occur more often if one is not getting enough sleep, food, or water. Another common time when one may dissociate can be during a breakdown. One may find themself crying and hurting emotionally one moment and then suddenly stop. It may appear as though they are doing better but in reality, they have become mentally exhausted and dissociate to subconsciously attempt to “leave” the breakdown. I have experienced periods of dissociation on multiple occasions, struggling to bring myself out of it. Although these periods did not last more than a couple hours, they were challenging to deal with while trying to focus on school, or any other task I would have to complete. After dealing with short periods of dissociation, I then experienced longer periods of dissociation, that would last weeks or even months. Although I was still able to complete my daily tasks, it made simple tasks much more challenging. At times, it would feel as though I was in a dream rather than reality and I would have a difficult time feeling anything emotionally or critically thinking. Although it is challenging to focus when one is dissociated, there are ways to aid in stopping it. First, it is important to make sure that you are sleeping and eating enough as lacking to do so may cause one to dissociate more frequently. If you or a loved one experiences dissociation that is a symptom of a mental disorder or a traumatic event, therapy could greatly aid in addressing the struggles and therefore stopping dissociation. Similar to when having a panic attack, it is also important to use your five senses. Naming three things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. -Katherine Helpful Websites: https://batonrougebehavioral.com/5-tips-to-handle-a-dissociative-disorder/ (Gives tips on how to handle dissociation) Being alone is a bit hard and a bit sad. I have noticed that when you are alone every problem in your life is somehow causing more pain than ever. I have noticed that being alone, especially at school, is tiring. I thought being alone would be easy until being alone meant feeling lonely even when thousands of people are surrounding me. I want to say that it will get better. But I somehow have been alone for 5 years. I know of people and they know of me but when I am sad or happy I have no one to tell. When I want to rant, I see myself in the mirror as the only option. I see people getting called by friends, lovers, and family and yet I am the one calling others. I have heard that I am a person who loves risky. Loving risky means loving someone more than they would ever love you. I realised with time that being alone has clear consequences and benefits: Consequences aka cons:
I put my attention into getting busy. I made playlists for every emotion I could possibly have. My life is eating, exercising, studying, sleeping, reading and working. I don’t have fun because it has never been an option for me. I realize again being alone for sometime meant becoming a boring person. I honestly think my situation is a bit ironic. I am a high school student who has never done high school things. I have an ability of carrying high expectations while being remarkably pessimistic and sarcastic. I’m trying to tell you what and how you shouldn’t be. Live your life as if you would die the next day. I can’t tell you I remember a lot of my recent life that wasn’t overwhelmed by work. There were summers that I wished to be back in school. There were times even when school was my sanctuary because life is not that fun when you are a solo warrior. We are not all solo warriors. I believe there are many people with friends; having one or two good friends is all that matters. Honestly I can say for myself that this article is a rant. A rant I can’t tell anyone because I don’t trust anyone enough for them to understand. This is my experience while growing up. I am hopeful that yours is completely different and happier. But you never know, 5 years from now I could be the happiest woman alive. (717)394-2000 - Emotional listening support line 1-877-870-4673 -The Samaritans HelpLine
|
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
|
Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |