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By Jazz I remember feeling like I was going to die the first time I ended something with somebody that I loved. Like, I actually thought the world was going to cave in, like I wasn’t going to wake up the next die or the day after or the day after that. Even though the world went on - the minutes passed and the hours went and the rest of the human population got the hell on with their lives - I could have sworn that mine stood still. It was a complex set of emotions; on one hand, I lost someone I thought I was going to have for the rest of my life. On the other, our relationship had gotten toxic and everything I had done was in pursuit of putting myself first. It felt really strange at first, depriving myself of someone who I loved so deeply all in the name of making sure that I was happier, but it’s important to put these things into a wider context. Yes, I loved them and yes, I wanted things to work but I was getting more misery than joy out of it.
The best piece of advice I can give in that situation is to remember the misery. Hold onto it. Remind yourself how much you were hurt and how bad those truly crappy moments felt. Let that despair remind you why you left; let it remind you how much you no longer want to feel it. Then, once you remember, you can let go. What a horrible piece of advice. I know. It feels borderline sociopathic to be recommending someone even do that but in the moments where I felt myself wanting to go back to a horrible relationship, that’s exactly what I would do. I would remember why I left before the situation would repeat itself and do it for me. Because, once you’re out of a situation, it’s natural to only want to remember the good things but I’ll circle back to that later. Deciding to put yourself first is a big decision, and not one that’s made lately. Mine came after a year of being stuck in a cycle; we’d get into a horrible place, find our way back to something beautiful for a while and then fall right back into a pit. No mater how hard we tried to break free of that, it never worked. I think, in large part, I was the only one willing to break that cycle and once I realised that, I knew I had to leave. There was about three months between realising that and actually bothering to act on it, but these things are hard. It’s easier said than done and even just saying it sucks. I always held a silent judgement for people that stayed in toxic relationships, thinking just get out, it’s for your own good but now that I was the one trying to do it? It’s safe to say I’ll never, ever judge again - not that I ever should have, but now I have my own experience of it, I especially know it. The thing about choosing your own happiness over someone else’s is that you don’t always feel it at first. Sometimes, it’s the loss of familiarity, of losing someone who was a constant in your life. Other times, it’s the newfound freedom that can be so terrifying. Realising that you’re not held back anymore, and that you only have yourself to worry about. It’s both beautiful and scary at the same time, navigating a world without someone you once held so close. It’s lonely and isolating, then all of a sudden it’s not. After the bad parts come the good parts. The finding joy again; the getting to know yourself again; the realisation that you’re coming back to who you used to be before you lost yourself to someone else. That’s the part that you don’t always know you’ll find when you first leave, but trust me, it’s there. It’s the good that’s waiting for you on the other side. At that point, I found myself looking back at my old relationship and only remembering the good times; not in a way that made me want to go back, but in a way that made me realise it wasn’t time wasted. It had its bad moments - insufferable ones, even - but it had also had bright, happy ones. The ones that had made me stay in the first place. I don’t regret cutting them off and choosing to put myself first. In fact, it’s probably one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made but it didn’t always feel like that at first. It’s a process - and not an easy one at that - but it is so, so worth it.
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By Meghna Starting my day with mindfulness has significantly enhanced both my mental health and energy levels. Each morning, I dedicate a few minutes to meditation or deep breathing exercises, setting a calm and focused tone for the rest of the day. This practice has become a cornerstone of my routine, helping me feel more grounded and centered. By beginning my day in this way, I find that I'm better equipped to handle whatever comes my way, whether it's a stressful situation at school or a busy schedule filled with extracurricular activities.
One moment that highlights the benefits of morning mindfulness occurred during a particularly hectic week at school. I had several major assignments due, along with an important dance tournament. Normally, the pressure would have made me anxious and overwhelmed, but my morning mindfulness routine made a significant difference. By spending just ten minutes each morning in quiet reflection and deep breathing, I was able to approach each task with a clear and focused mind. Instead of feeling scattered and stressed, I felt composed and ready to tackle my responsibilities. The impact of mindfulness on my energy levels has also been profound. Previously, I would often experience afternoon slumps, feeling drained and unmotivated as the day wore on. However, since incorporating mindfulness into my mornings, I've noticed a steady flow of energy that lasts throughout the day. This consistent energy helps me stay productive and engaged, whether I'm in class, doing homework, or participating in after-school activities. I no longer rely on caffeine or junk foods to keep me going; instead, my morning mindfulness practice provides a natural and sustainable energy boost. Moreover, morning mindfulness has improved my overall mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. Being a teenager comes with its own set of challenges and pressures, from academic expectations to social dynamics. Mindfulness has given me a valuable tool to manage these stressful moments more effectively. When I focus on my breath and stay present in the moment, I can let go of worries about my current situation. This practice has made me more resilient and adaptable, allowing me to navigate life's ups and downs without getting emotionally exhausted. Starting my day with mindfulness has transformed my approach to both mental health and daily energy levels. Incorporating mindfulness into my morning routine has been one of the best decisions I've made for my mental health, and I hope others to try it as well. By Camille Picture this: You come home from a long day at work, and you are exhausted. All you want to do is crawl under your blankets and sleep until you are no longer exhausted. This feeling is normal, we all get tired from time to time. Now picture this: You are constantly exhausted, and no amount of sleep or caffeine will shake you out of this daze. This feeling is what being burnt out feels like.
It is too easy for others to label their physical exhaustion as burnouts, however, it is more than that. Being burnt out means that you are mentally exhausted as well. You find even the simplest tasks difficult to complete. You feel empty and struggle to find motivation for anything in your life. After some self-reflection, I have come to realize that I am burnt out, and I have been for a while. It took me so long to realize this because I just assumed I was lazy - all I wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep the day away. This may sound silly, but I found out I was burnt out because of a BuzzFeed quiz. Now, I am not saying that the quiz results led to this discovery. However, when I found that I was feeling most of the symptoms, I decided to do research on my own. Some people might not even realize that they are burnt out, they might just write it off as stress. However, stress buildup eventually leads to burnout. Below is a list of common symptoms of burnout.
Reflecting on my past, I understand why I was behaving the way I was. I did not realize I was burnt out, I just wrote it off as being stressed or unmotivated. Now that I know that I am struggling with burnout, I will attempt to replenish myself. After doing plentiful research, below are ways to help us deal with being burnt out.
Life moves at a fast pace, it does not wait for anyone. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with life and fall into the vicious cycle of mental exhaustion. It is essential not to allow mental exhaustion to control our life as it can lead to burnout. However, by practicing good self-care routines, you can limit these feelings of burnout, and live a physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy life. By Katherine In the 21st century there has been an increase in discussions regarding mental health, along with more treatments and resources available to those who are struggling. With hotlines, psychiatrists, therapists, and more, many have been able to find relief. While it is always best to seek professional help when struggling, it is also important to make sure that one takes care of themself at home. How do you spend your free time? Who is your support system? It takes more than one hour a week to maintain one’s mental health and therefore it is important to make sure that one takes care of it everyday.
I have found simple ways to relieve my anxiety and put me in a better mood. Going for jogs, writing, hiking, photography, painting, drawing, playing video games, being outside, meditating, and reading are just some of the ways I have been taking care of myself. Although these are simple hobbies, doing them often and ensuring that I always have something to look forward to has dramatically improved my mental health. Being outdoors and exercising have not only improved my mental health but my physical health as well. I find myself having more stamina and feeling more energized. Through more calming hobbies such as writing, painting, etc, I am able to relax and calm my mind, enabling me to handle stress in a healthier way. These hobbies are just a few of many that one can do to help in maintaining one’s mental health. Find something you enjoy doing, pursue it and you will find yourself in a better mood. Whether you enjoy sports, working out, crafts, games, going to museums, thrifting, gardening, etc, there is something out there for everyone. Make sure to go outdoors even for just a little bit everyday, soaking up some Vitamin D can also help your physical wellbeing. If you have a dog, take them for a walk, play fetch, it’ll mean the world to them and will leave you smiling as well. It is also important to ensure that you have a support system at home. Whether that includes family members, friends, a significant other, etc, you should have someone that you can count on and reach out to when you need it. Everyone needs a support system, even if they’re not currently struggling, we all need someone we can rely on and go to when there are challenging days. Make sure to take some time for yourself everyday. Life can be hectic with school, work, etc, and therefore it is so important that everyone takes time to relax and unwind and have something to look forward to everyday. These little moments everyday can put you in a better mood, relieve stress, increase confidence, and view life in a more optimistic way. By Cody It can often be hard to wind down after a busy day, and you can often find yourself thinking about how busy that day at work or school was. But it is important to find a way to relax and unwind, so you’re refreshed and ready for the next day ahead. Otherwise, you may become run down or overwhelmed from how busy you’ve been.
I find that relaxing after a busy day at work can be extremely difficult, and I find myself stressed about tomorrow. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to find ways to relax and forget about the stress of day-to-day life. Finding what helps me relax was more of a task than I thought it would be, and this may also be the case for you. There are many different ways to relax, and finding the right one for you can take time.
I find that playing strategic video games helps me forget about everything else; distracting my mind is key to relaxing. Of course, other games help too, but particularly games that make me think. I also enjoy listening to meditation podcasts on Headspace and Calm. Following the guided reading, you can find yourself feeling very peaceful. So, I recommend giving it a try! You can also find free guided meditations on Spotify if you’re not able to buy them. If you’re struggling to find your way to unwind, try writing down old hobbies or interests that you used to enjoy and re-explore them. You might find that you simply lost time for them, but you do still enjoy those hobbies. So, if you find yourself feeling stressed or overwhelmed, remember that it’s important to take the time to simply relax. By Nataliya Different things that happen in our lives can cause us to put our physical and mental health on the back burner. Some examples of this could include:
If you are anything like me, you may feel pressure to perform at the highest quality, and show up for everyone in your life that you consider important. Although those things are important, you may have to sit back and evaluate how much time, and energy you are giving to those things, and how much you are giving to yourself. We do have responsibility to work and the people who are integral parts of our lives. However, we have just as much responsibility to ourselves. Due to stress, and just going through the motions we may not realize when we are becoming overwhelmed and therefore lacking the ability to pour back into ourselves. Examples being: Having a hard long day at work, feeling inadequate at what you do, working overtime, having issues with co-workers, issues with management etc. Dealing with these types of scenarios day in and day out for weeks at a time. How are you giving yourself care, breaks, attention and recharging afterwards? Are you making it a point to do this at all? It's very important we recharge and refresh ourselves after doing anything mentally or physically strenuous, like working or school. In what ways can you do this? Some examples of activities we can do to recharge are:
When we have several bad days at work are we talking to anyone about it? It seems small, and tedious but not talking about things that may happen to us builds up overtime. Having issues at work and or school, are big contributions to having mental health breakdowns or declines. If you are having trouble at work or school with anyone. Speaking with someone you trust to talk to is very beneficial! When it comes to friends and family or anyone else who are actively a part of your life, they can be just as draining as work or school. We have to recognize when it's time to take breaks or disconnect from them too. Why would there be a reason to do this you might wonder. The people we love can sometimes become a weight on us and just as demanding of our time as anything else. Do you sometimes find yourself overly available for your friends, family or acquaintances? Because you care for them you might find yourself always available when they need you. For instance, it could be to talk on the phone, help them with tasks, hangout often, vent ect. You may be thinking - none of those things are terrible at their core. You are absolutely correct! However, if you are constantly showing up from others, in whatever capacity that might be, and not for yourself you are doing yourself a disservice. When everyone else around you may be fully benefiting from the role you play in their lives. Taking a break from friends and families requests and or demands to work on showing up for yourself is absolutely imperative. Making sure you are giving yourself breaks, alone time and various pleasures that you enjoy after being drained from working is necessary! Don't forget to water yourself. Treat yourself like a gardener would a flower, nurture yourself everyday. By Sophie Have you ever wondered whether it’s possible to study hard and still enjoy nights out? Have you ever wished to have more than 24 hours a day to achieve everything you wanted to? Well, the key is to organize yourself.
Balance is the key in life whether this is in your personal or professional life. Some students may find school or university workload overwhelming when combining it with other activities. However, if you plan your tasks in advance and organize yourself, everything will seem more doable and less stressful. It seems like you have to choose between either studying or enjoying life; however, this is not the case. Planning your days can help you feel more in control and can help you stay on top of tasks. By planning, I don’t mean following a strict hourly schedule – however, if that can be useful to you then go for it! Here are some tips on how to plan your day:
I was never a to-do list type of girl but I must admit they are useful and I would give them a 9/10.
However, this year, I bought a nice planner and actually use it! I find the monthly planner more convenient as I have an overview of the month. So, since I only use the monthly calendar, I would give a 6.5/10 to planners in general.
I don’t write down my weekly schedule as I don’t have any classes that I absolutely have to attend at a certain time. Even though I do have extra-curricular activities, there are only 2 of them per week and I remember when they are, so I would give weekly schedules a 4/10. However, if I had more classes that I have to attend on Zoom or physically (instead of viewing the recordings of the lectures), then I would find schedules a lot more useful. Since primary, I have had extra-curricular activities, such as swimming, theatre, singing, and managed to balance school and fun – but doesn’t any child know how to balance these two? My mom used to organize everything for me and my only job was to attend the activities, so it wasn’t complicated. However, as I grew up, I had to learn to become responsible and plan everything by myself. Therefore, to avoid wasting my time, I searched bus schedules beforehand and planned my time wisely between activities. For instance, I go to the bus stop around five minutes before the bus arrives and between extracurricular activities, I bring some light work (e.g., highlighting notes, reading a paper, memorizing a text, etc.) as I usually won’t be as focused as if I were at home. These past few years, I’ve also been watching studytubers such as Holly Gabrielle, UnJaded Jade, and Jack Edwards – their channels talk about productivity but also all sorts of other subjects that you might find interesting! Here’s an example of a typical day of mine:
“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned” – Benjamin Franklin So, if you ever feel overwhelmed, you should know that you’re not alone. Take a step back to breathe and relax before you feel ready to go back to work. Also, to avoid burnouts, try planning your days in advance, take breaks, see friends and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Lots of people like to talk about ‘self-care’ when it comes to mental health and recovery. You might have seen suggestions for lighting candles, taking a long bubble bath, or reading a favourite book. These are all great suggestions when it comes to taking care of yourself at your lowest points. However, no one likes to talk about the uglier side to this because it’s, well, ugly! I am 21, at university, and I like to think I have experience with bad mental health, particularly with trying what feels like hundreds of methods of “self-care”. For me, they were a replacement for going to the doctor (which you definitely should do) because I was absolutely terrified of giving a name to things like depression and anxiety. I have spent many nights listening to Hozier turned all the way up, trying yoga, painting, playing an instrument, eating healthily, and even journaling. Writing down things I like about myself, things I’m good at, reminding myself that pain and sadness are temporary, leaving countless Post-Its across my old bedroom. There are lots of ‘pretty’ ways to look after yourself. Candles and bubble baths (as I mentioned before) aromatherapy, clean sheets, and a long walk through the park. Instagram, in particular, is a place where these things are shown, with accounts and hashtags dedicated to pictures of fluffy dogs and colourful flowers, peaceful landscapes, and extensive skincare routines. I vividly remember trawling through these images, feeling all the more broken because none of them made me feel better. None of them fixed me. My self-care on some days involved just getting out of bed. Making a start on an essay, even if that was only writing out the title. Just having breakfast felt like an accomplishment. I would come home from sixth form on a Friday, exhausted, and not shower until Monday morning when I had to go back again. Moisturising my arms, throwing my uniform in the wash, and even brushing my teeth and hair felt impossible. When you feel like this, and I’m sure most people have had an experience like this at least once, self-care seems so far from reach. Being okay can feel so far from reach. Sometimes self-care isn’t flowers and being clean and having perfect skin. Yes, these things can make you feel better, but they should never be seen as a substitute for professional help, which a lot of people like to portray. Not many people like to show this side to themselves, surprisingly enough, and this is a HUGE problem. There is a stigma towards symptoms of mental illness and the knee-jerk reaction to coping with them that is just never talked about. The point is, both methods of self-care and recovery are FINE! Whether you use ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ ways, it doesn’t matter! But both need to be talked about. It is always okay to struggle and reach out to someone, I know I felt so much better when I did to my best friend. It is always okay to not conform to whatever Instagram tells you to do. Find what’s best for you and you alone. - Kaitlyn Kaitlyn |
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |