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By Sydney As I’m writing this, I can feel the bags under my eyes growing. The urge to rest my head on my computer grows stronger with each word I type. I feel like all my energy is going to just staying awake. An endless cycle of waking up and fighting to complete my daily tasks before sleep claims me. With the tiredness comes the numbness. Feeling emotion takes energy- energy I don’t have. I want to smile, I want to cry, but all I can do is move through the day on empty, with no smiles or tears. It must be strange for you to hear that I want to cry, but I do. For me, crying means I’m feeling something strong enough to invoke a physical reaction; I haven’t felt that strongly about anything in a long time. On the other side of the coin, I constantly feel like I’m on the edge of crying. Not from emotion, but from exhaustion. At this point, I’d take those tears over the nothing I currently experience. At this point, it should be noted that I stopped writing to go to the store for an energy drink- my fourth of the day- because I’d taken two naps and still felt tired. It’s only noon. I’ve developed a dependency on caffeine in the last four months, something I said would never happen. Long have I loathed the taste of coffee and my parents drilled into my head that energy drinks would kill me. My senior project changed all that. Looking back, that’s probably when my exhaustion started. I slept so little trying to finish my last project of high school, it’s like my body is still trying to catch up on all the sleep I missed. I don’t know how much more I’ll be able to write about this. For me, it’s normal to feel tired, so normal that I don’t know how to describe exhaustion. It boggles my mind that people will wake up after eight hours of sleep and feel rested with no need to nap during the day. The envy I feel towards people who aren’t running on an empty battery is ineffable. I long to be them. I wish I could feel that way. In order to stay awake, I’ve taken to bombarding my senses. There’s always a TV show, youtube video, or playlist playing in the background while I talk to my friends and read a course description for college. College, college is coming in less than a month. I hope I don’t sleep through it. I hope my energy returns and I can spend the next four years of my life having fun with friends and learning about topics I’m passionate about. I hope it’s normal. Deep in my heart I know I’m not the only one that feels like this. That there are others who are chronically exhausted. Maybe you feel the same? If you do, I’m sorry. No one deserves to feel tired every hour of the day, every day of the week. This is Sydney from the next day. I’m not sure what happened, but I feel… better. For the first time in a long time, I woke up without the heavy curtain of exhaustion over my eyes.
I’ve taken advantage of this newfound energy and gotten caught up on a lot of work I had put aside in favor of napping. I cleaned the kitchen, researched college courses, and completed some reviews. I want this to last as long as possible, but I’m scared it’ll go away as fast as it came. I’m scared the tiredness will return. I’m scared my motivation will vanish. I’m scared. I’m scared, but I will take this one day at a time.
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By Jazz TW: this article speaks about topics involving depression, medication and drug withdrawal. This article is not medical advice, but simply me talking about my personal experiences with SSRIs.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the most commonly prescribed form of antidepressants. Until I was prescribed them myself, I had never heard of them nor did I know what they actually did. I had, funnily enough, heard some of the brand names they’re marketed under commonly used in television shows and media: Prozac, Zoloft and Lexapro. They’re often used as treatment for depression, but can also be prescribed to help with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. To put it into layman’s terms, they force your brain to create more serotonin and block other parts from taking it up, thus meaning there is more of the hormone available for…well, for you. I was first prescribed SSRIs when I was eighteen, and two years after my initial depression diagnosis. I’d tried to put off taking medication for as long as I could, purely because I didn’t want to become dependent on it - but, the cold, hard truth is that sometimes, we need medicine. I had never felt ashamed about needing to take stuff for my physical health, so I don’t know why I was hesitant to try stuff for my mental health. Still, my previous coping mechanisms weren’t working and so, my doctor prescribed me a low dosage of fluoxetine (known under the brand name Prozac in several places). The bit I was most scared of was the side effects, purely because the ones listed on the NHS website weren’t great, but it was actually very manageable. The biggest side effects for me happened in the first few weeks whilst my body adjusted to the new chemicals that my brain was producing. With every SSRI I have taken, all of the extra symptoms passed after 2-3 weeks; that’s the thing I would stress the most to anyone who starts taking them. It can be very strange at first, but persistence (and sometimes resistance) is key. With that said: if they persist after a long period of time, speak to your GP. Some medications don’t agree with everyone and there are other ones available. I ended up coming off of that particular SSRI as the side effects were becoming too much for me. I was sleeping too much due to fatigue from the fluoxetine and even though I felt better mentally, my constant napping and lack of energy counteracted any positive results. I spoke to my doctor, and I was prescribed another SSRI instead: citalopram. It’s a more recently developed one and after two weeks, I had adjusted and felt very few long term side effects. I’m still on it now. SSRIs worked for me: I’ve felt better since I started taking them. Of course, there are other factors too - I’ve made an active effort to eat better, drink less alcohol and live a more balanced life. The hormones from the SSRIs contribute to my motivation to do so, though. I’m very lucky that my experience with them has been mostly good, but everyone will have a different reaction. As I said, my first time round with them was very unenjoyable but I’m glad I tried another one. I’ve learnt a lot since being SSRIs, but these are my main takeaways.
By Tabitha I've never quite understood my desperation for change. The endless nights of the same menial tasks kept me stuck in my gears. Having the desire for something more but not knowing how to get there or what to do. I felt like I was stuck in the mud.
This constant desperation had me in a loop of what I could possibly do more, what I could improve on or whether I was enough. I would get myself in a depressive state whenever this would happen. Getting yourself into a rut is a common experience, in fact, many people experience the symptoms of getting into a rut and don’t recognise that this falls in line with the symptoms of depression. Soon you start to lose interest in the things you once loved. Frustration can begin to kick in the longer you stay in this rut. You can often feel like you might never come out of it, or you've reached your peak. Other factors include everyday feeling the same, feeling unfulfilled or unmotivated, or even wanting to get yourself out of it but fearing the short discomfort that comes with it. I find myself getting in and out of ruts quite frequently. My desperation for change fuels my frustration whenever this happens and I start to isolate myself or take it out on others unintentionally. A recent example was trying to write this particular article. I struggled to write this article for months, trying to find the right words to articulate how I felt and what process I go through to get myself out of this. However, I was failing to listen to my own advice. I noticed that I was in a rut so deep that I found myself reluctant to get out of it and continued to avoid bettering myself to progress any further. Sometimes the motivation to get yourself out of a situation doesn’t come to you immediately. Therefore I decided to reflect back on what I had done and achieved. I read through this article, months after I had written something to build upon and noticed I was in a better headspace to articulate and understand myself when I was in this situation. You won’t always recognise the obstacles preventing you from progressing until you overcome them. Usually, the reason for getting into a rut is because you feel like you've hit a certain milestone. You don't know where to go from there. You need a new goal. Start evaluating everything you've done so far. Think about what you've done to achieve it. Is there anything you need to improve? Consider the other milestones you can hit before moving on. Allowing yourself to fixate on a new goal can help you to remain focused. The next question is finding this new goal. What if you don't know what to improve on? What if you don't know what you're working towards? The confused and lost feeling starts to sink in and you begin to trap yourself further in this rut. At this stage, you need to reassure yourself that you've done this before and you can do this again. If this is your first time getting into a rut then see it as a positive break. Often it requires a big change of gears with your drive. You may not know what you need to do but you can start reinforcing your skills to work on your weaknesses. For example, ask for opinions on what you do and who you are, change your focus onto another aspect of life different to the one that got you stuck, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve gotten. Getting stuck in a rut is never the easiest position to be in. It's as if you're going to be there forever. It's a huge test of faith, resilience and determination to move forward. However, once you get out of it it’s an extremely rewarding feeling that allows you to reflect on your past and see how much you’ve improved. Know that you have people supporting you through this and it should never be a rush to get yourself out of a rut, take it at your own pace and understand you’re doing all that you can. When one is walking around, enjoying their family’s company there will always be a follower. The first thought that may come to your mind is one’s shadow- well you’re not wrong there. But in this case it’s depression, a mental illness that might just suddenly drop your mood. Today was one of those situations which I wanted to enjoy as I was visiting my brother who had moved out a few years back. He now lives in Newcastle, England. He met this beautiful girl called Autumn and then they made it official that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. When myself and my parents picked up my brother and his girlfriend, we all went to the Metro Centre which is a big shopping centre. Straight away me and Autumn headed to the Disney store. Autumn decided to buy a Stitch teddy whilst I went for the wee pig from Moana known as Pua. After that, we walked around the shopping centre just looking what shops there were. I could feel my mood slowly dropping like water going down the drain. I began to get negative thoughts about being the odd one out as there were five of us, myself being the youngest. We walked into spoons for some lunch, the place was packed so it was hard to find a table for five. So we got a table for four and then a two seated table too. They all sat on the four seated table but myself was left to sit on the other, so for me it was hard to hear everyone and trying to join in with the conversations I felt like I was invisible. After lunch, we headed onto more shops to find some Christmas presents. I could just feel myself slowly tagging along like a lost puppy. The four of them went into a shop and I just waited outside as I didn’t feel up to going into the shop with them. I stood there looking over the balcony just thinking, ‘Why am I even here’ or other thoughts like, ‘I hate myself so much, no one cares’. It’s thoughts like these that ruin such grand situations, making you feel worthless. But I know I’m not the only one out there who gets these kind of thoughts. There are other people who feel like no one else cares about them, sometimes just thinking about that gives me a wee bit of hope because I’m not alone if that makes sense. Depression is a killer but you’re not the only one who suffers. Reach out and do what I do, tell people about it! Share your experiences even if it’s just as simple as my situation. It just shows others that they can relate to you and reach out for help. Here’s some tips and tricks on how I deal with depression; Crafts: Distracting yourself with creative thinking is a huge advantage for me! Joining Zumba Classes: Since I found my courage to join a Zumba class, I've enjoyed going every week! Mindful Photography: Take up photography with a focus on mindfulness. Capture the beauty around you, paying attention to the details and living in the moment. Build a Sensory Kit: Create a kit with items that engage your senses (e.g., scented candles, textured objects, soothing music). Use it when you need comfort or distraction. Mel
Depression is known as the “common cold” of the mental health world. However, depression takes the form of various depressive disorders/illnesses do you know that there is more than one type of depression? Well, there are. Different types of depression are chemical imbalances that are caused by either an event that happened in your life or genetic inheritance. The stigmatisation and miseducation surrounding mental health have unfortunately made many people unaware of different types of depressive/mental disorders. This is why it is important to differentiate between them to understand mental health. Major Depression: Clinical depression involves loss of interest and pleasure in activities and/or loss of interest. As well as trouble sleeping, weight loss or gain, feeling agitated and slowed down mentally and physically. The symptoms are experienced most days and last for at least two weeks and interfere in all areas of a person’s life. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: A lot of women experience moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms (PMS). Although at least 8% of these experience symptoms that prevent them from living their normal day-to-day life. This is premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). The difference between PMS and PMDD is that PMDD involves a set of physical and psychological symptoms that would harm the individual’s mental well-being. Common symptoms of PMDD are; severe fatigue, crying and emotional sensitivity, mood changes and difficulty concentrating. Postpartum Depression: The birth of a child can trigger an array of emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also trigger depression. Women who have depression in the weeks and months after childbirth may have postpartum depression. Common symptoms include; mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Seasonal Affective Disorder: This is a period of depression that mostly happens during the winter months when the days grow short and you get less and less sunlight. It usually goes away in the spring and summer. SAD is diagnosed after the person has had the same symptoms during winter for a couple of years. People with SAD are more likely to experience a lack of energy, sleep too much and crave carbohydrates. Bipolar Disorder: Someone with bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, has mood episodes that range from extremes of high energy with an up mood to love depressive periods. When you’re in a low phase, you’ll have the symptoms of major depression. Prior to my diagnosis of clinical depression, I began noticing how I would distance myself from others, sleepless or more and was constantly overthinking. Because I was never taught about mental health and because of stigma, I didn’t know that there was a chance I had depression. People would say that I was “lazy” or was “seeking attention.” That couldn’t be far from the truth. It wasn’t until I started educating myself that I understood mental health. Ways to cope with depression include: Therapy: Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that converts common patterns of negative thinking to control your depression. These strategies include gaining a better understanding of the behaviour and motivation of others, using problem-solving skills to cope with difficult situations and learning to develop a greater sense of confidence in one's abilities. Diet: Research shows a connection between diet and mental health. Many studies show that improving your diet can treat mental illnesses. By no means do I suggest you completely stop eating your favourite dessert but surely reduce the number of times you eat it. If you are planning on making any major changes to your diet then talk to a doctor. Sleep: If you have trouble sleeping or might sleep too much, you’ll struggle to get out of bed because regardless you’ll feel exhausted all the time. For improving your sleep try; turning off your electronics an hour before you go to bed. If you want to read a book or do another activity, do so. And only your bed for sleep. Working in bed or even your bedroom can cause you to link your bed with stress. Light therapy: This type of therapy is especially for those suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This involves sitting by a special lamp called a lightbox. This produces the light that’s missing during the winter months. By sitting in front of a lightbox for 30 minutes to an hour each day you can increase the serotonin chemical in your body. Serotonin is a hormone that affects your mood. Also known as the “happy chemical.” They come in the form of a desk lamp, alarm clock or wall-mounted fixtures. Wellness toolbox: A wellness toolbox can help you relax when you are feeling down. It can be anything that will make you happy e.g. listening to music, hanging out with loved ones or playing with your pet. When you are feeling bad then choose an activity that will bring you joy. There are many forms of depression which means there are many forms of coping mechanisms. Unless diagnosed, you won’t know which one you’ll have. Just know that you aren’t alone. I know how you feel. Not wanting to get out of bed or eat or having these constant dark, loud thoughts. But let me tell you this - It will pass. I know it's a horrible feeling at the moment but just remember that it will pass. It will get better, I promise. You are so strong. Some people do care for you, whether you believe it or not. You will get through this and if you need help along the way, then get help. There is no shame. Down below is a link to get in contact with your local helplines regardless of what country you are from. :) Get in contact with your local helplines visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Indie Sahota IndieI don’t know how it started, but one thing I was sure about was that I felt disgusted about myself. I realized that my present self was shaped by emotionally detached experiences in childhood. I didn’t get as much love as my siblings got. I got physical and emotional punishment. Also, being the first kid compelled me to act like a mature person, like being a projection when my parents fought. I was treated like this even when I was still learning how to count 1+1. It was too painful to tell but, my childhood turned me into an unhappy, heartless kid. I resented myself and wondered if I was worthy to live this life. I was being mocked for my unhappy personality in my childhood. I once asked my family, “What was the happiest moment when I was a child?”. I couldn’t wait to see my family’s response, but instead, they responded “Oh, nothing that made you happy. You are just a gloomy kid”. My self-esteem went down immediately. I was haunted by anger and regrets. I wanted to point a finger and blame someone but I couldn’t. It took me years to accept my childhood experience. But, I stand here for anyone who has the same feelings. You are not alone. Here are some things to remember that helped me let my wounded unhappy childhood go.
Admittedly, forgiving the past would be hard. Several times, I thought ‘If I wasn’t..’ or ‘I wouldn’t be here if I was..”. But remind yourself that the past can’t be changed. Let the past be a history. Use it as a power to grow yourself. The story is not only just past tense. But it can be used in present and future tense, and you have the power to write your own. - Syfia SyfiaWe all have the idea that depression is all about - continuous low mood, having no interests in doing the things you love, disturbed sleep, isolating yourself and being indecisive. And that’s all true! However, there are more symptoms of depression that are lesser-known. Continue reading as I tell you symptoms that may surprise you. Aches and Pains: Many people who go through depression will experience back pain, sore chest and chest pains. These pains aren’t usually associated with any specific injuries. There are studies to suggest that pain and depression share a neurological pathway, meaning the more depressed you are, the more painful your body will become. Forgetfulness/ “Brain Fog”: A lot of people will say that they often feel forgetful. Countless studies show that people with depression have a tougher time remembering the specific details of their lives, meaning they can remember the overall event but not in particular detail. Changes in Menstrual Cycle: Cortisol is a stress hormone and it rises during a depressive phase. Due to this, messages to the brain are being sent to the brain and reproductive system which leads to a delay in your period. Guilt-ridden: The constant thought of feeling guilty over the most ridiculous things is something that people with depression have gone through. It consumes the mind to the point where the depressed will start to question everyday activities or major life roles. Moving or speaking more slowly than usual: Slowing thoughts and physical movements are known as a severe symptom of depression. Speaking and moving more slowly is due to decreased energy levels. It is also known that certain chemical changes in the brain can cause this. As someone who experiences depression, I can say that I have gone through aches and pains, brain fog and delay in periods. It‘s a crippling feeling. Before any knowledge of depression, I didn’t understand why I was experiencing such. I began questioning which led to anxiety taking over. I thought there was something physically wrong with me. Glad to say that my mind was exaggerating and physically I was fine. How to overcome and control your depression is by; Get Enough Sleep: Poor sleep patterns can contribute to depression. Whether it’s the depression causing it or the lack of sleep. So try to arrange a time to sleep and a time to wake up. Even an hour before your bedtime, you should give yourself some time to unwind down. Turn off your devices and read a book, listen to music or listen to a podcast. Avoid Alcohol: Alcohol is a depressant and drinking can worsen your depression. It decreases inhibitions and potentially leads to risky behaviours and poor decision making which can have long-term consequences. While alcohol might seem like a quick fix to escape reality, it is NOT the answer. Also, do not drink while on medication, as they don’t interact well. Exercise: Regular exercise encourages the brain to think in positive ways. That is because of the chemical known as endorphins. Now, you don’t need to run a marathon. Try and find a fun activity to do. Whether it’s taking a dance class or rock-climbing. Eat Healthily: Foods such as sweets, high-fat dairy products and refined grains, when eaten in a large amount, can cause a risk of depression. So take these foods in moderate consumptions and eat foods such as vegetables, fruits and whole-grains. Avoid Caffeine: Take a step back when it comes to caffeine. Coffee, soft drinks and even chocolate have excessive amounts of caffeine. It’s fine to eat/drink a fair amount but do not become dependent on it. It can lead to interference with sleep. So avoid it by gradually cutting it back. You will experience caffeine withdrawal, but distract yourself and it will pass. If you or someone you love are showcasing signs of depression, you should make an effort in learning more about the illness, including the symptoms so that you can know what to expect. You should also look into treatment options such as therapy and medication and most importantly, make them know or yourself that you are not alone. :) If you want to get in contact with your local helplines then visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ - Indie Sahota IndieEveryone feels lonely at some point, it’s a deep-rooted feeling that bubbles to the surface whenever you feel the teeny-tiniest bit down, which can be annoying however, there are explanations for this and ways to help manage. There are a few reasons as to why people feel lonely and after doing some research, I found that there are 5 main reasons to people feeling lonely:
Here are my personal tips to feel better when I’m feeling lonely:
I hope my research and personal ways of tackling loneliness are of some use to you, loneliness can be one of the worst feelings and if push comes to shove, I'm your friend and you can always message me for a quick or long chat. You can find me on Instagram or twitter @em_taylorxox.
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |