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Have you ever wondered why the majority of people in our society have become so captivated by various social media sites? It has become a habit for many to check it constantly, worrying about what is trending or what people think of them. Social media is a great source of communication, for the most part, but the impact on mental health can be severe. We must emphasise why it does not have to control your life and how you can, in fact, control it yourself. Be honest with yourself and answer this: how long do you actually spend on social media per day? What do you turn to when you have completed your daily routine and need to wind down? Is it fair to say that your mobile phone may be holding you back? It is not a negative thing to be socially active on the Internet, but as a teenager, you may find it refreshing to take a step back. I know that may sound cliché but I have found that it is true and it is surprising how much productivity increases when you take more breaks. Thinking back to a few years ago, I remember coming home from school, sitting down with my phone and spending so long on it until the battery was practically dead. Some days I would even sit there until it was 7 PM and it was time for dinner. Honestly, I can’t comprehend how I coped with homework and my mental well-being. Perhaps I did find some enjoyment in scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, but now I have come to realise how consuming that lifestyle really was. Now, when I come home from school, I don’t even think about going on my phone for hours. I have learned to adopt the mindset that allows me to stay motivated and complete tasks, not just because they’re necessary, but also because I want to. I read somewhere that “humans will do more to avoid pain than find pleasure.” Therefore, procrastinating becomes second nature, because we have trained our minds to think this provides us with an escape from pain. But, what if we can find pleasure in being productive instead? Think of an essay you need to write and instead of thinking “I have to write an essay”, think “I get to write an essay”. It is a great feeling reminding yourself of the reward of finishing homework, or the result of spending time revising for a test. So, that’s what I focus on instead. So, by focusing on what is good for you, you are already reducing the hold social media has on you. I honestly feel it is so refreshing. My advice to readers would, therefore, be to control social media and prevent it from controlling you. Trust me, scrolling through Instagram for 30 minutes a day is so much more interesting than scrolling mindlessly for 3 hours, desperately searching for new content. It can be quite scary to think about the future but preparing for it productively will provide you with much more satisfaction than social media ever can. To remove the habit of checking your phone, the most obvious way would be to put it in a drawer in the other room. However, there are other options:
To summarise, reducing your time on social media is not only beneficial to your mental health in the short term but helps you in the long term. After learning to stop checking it, I have found that my life has become much more productive and I feel happier as a result. Removing it from your life completely is not always necessary but taking a break can be crucial! Remember that social media does NOT control you if you do not allow it to. Be your own master! Apps/websites that can help you stay off social media: Self-control- an extension for your computer and an app that stops you from checking customised websites that you add yourself Pomodoro tomato timer- allows you to spend 25 minutes working and then 5 minutes on a break on a loop. This means that you manage the amount of time you concentrate and it allows you to enjoy time away from your work without sacrificing precious time! I also love the to-do list feature so you can know exactly what you need to do. Hold- an app that times the amount of work you do and grows a tree while you do it- this is quite satisfying! POSITIVES:
TO IMPROVE:
- Nicole Nicole
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Okay, so a lot of people have their own viewpoints on what autism actually is, and a lot of these opinions are media based. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a developmental disorder, and has many different factors, including but not limited to, social interaction, communication (both verbal and non-verbal), intellectual capacity and repetitive behaviours. When people hear autism, they typically think of Rainman, Sheldon Cooper, or the highly intelligent, quiet person at school that is socially awkward. That is autism, but that isn’t solely what it is. I was diagnosed a few months ago with high-functioning autism. This basically means that I’m able to communicate to a degree, although I find it difficult, and I struggle picking up on a lot of different social cues, and struggle in some social situations. I do have a higher IQ than a lot of people my age, and I have some extreme obsessions, namely with music. It’s my strongest passion. Mention George Ezra or Lewis Capaldi and I could talk for hours with no issues. It took 17 years for me to actually be diagnosed, because first of all, I’m a girl. There are so many differences between boys and girls being diagnosed. Boys display autism differently from girls. It’s so much harder to receive a correct diagnosis as a girl, often being told that it’s “typical girl behaviour” because of our obsessions, or social awkwardness and that all girls do it. I showed behaviours from a young age, but was told “I’ll grow out of it.” I didn’t. Fast forward to age 15, I was receiving some help for my anxiety when I was asked about my thoughts on Autism, and if I thought I maybe had it. At first, I was in denial, going off the stereotypes. I did some research, and deliberated for a while. It makes so much sense. I went through a test called an ADOS, which is used to help diagnose autism in children and young people, and a week later I was given a diagnosis. I’ve found over the past few months, when I tell people about autism, or have seen other things on social media, there are a lot of misconceptions and people jump to conclusions. I want to address a few of these. “You don’t look autistic.” This is probably one of the worst things that you can say to someone who has been diagnosed. There isn’t a set look when you’re autistic, it’s not like we have 3 eyes or a horn coming out of our heads. “Oh my god you must be so smart can you do my homework?” No. I’m not doing your maths homework. Or your science homework. I’m hopeless at both, they’re not my thing at all. “Are you sure you’re autistic? You don’t act like it?” This is one of the more annoying ones, where people look taken aback because you’re actually able to engage in conversation. “Don’t you have those ear defenders things?” Nope, I like to joke about it with close friends, but I can actually process a lot of sensory things. They’re helpful, but I’m not reliant on them. Now this one is even more annoying, but people try to compare me to another autistic person they know. “Oh but my friend's cousin's sister is autistic and she’s non-verbal.” Okay? It’s called a SPECTRUM. Where everyone is completely different. This also means it isn’t just a straight line, with non-verbals at one end, and high functioning, maths geniuses at the other. It’s so much more complex than that. No two autistics are the same. So, I hope I helped with some of the misconceptions. For any autistics, or those waiting to be diagnosed, if you ever want help, I’d highly recommend looking at the National Autistic Society’s website. They have a lot of information, and in some areas, they even have support groups, which I personally think could be brilliant! -Alicia Alicia
Dealing with situations like being stood up at dates or a family problem can make us just want to hide away from the world. Escape reality and just go into another world of wonderland, which I thought I was doing.
In the past I have always kept my problems to myself; they started to build up like a tower. But when the tower gets too overloaded it starts to collapse, that’s exactly what happened to my mind. Years of keeping all these problems to myself not talking caused me to have an outburst on other terms let out all my anger. It started when I was back in high school, I was getting bullied due to having ginger hair and because of my last name which I dislike a lot to this day-that’s why I go by a different name now. I was having a normal day in high school, but then came lunch-time. I went to meet my friends and we sat down to lunch, I went to go and get something from the food-counter and on my way back there was this girl who wouldn’t move her chair to let me pass. I asked her kindly if I could just get through to sit down but she refused. So, that’s when things got pretty bad. She stood up and said to me “I can’t move because you’re so fat, bet I couldn’t even lift you to throw you out the window”. That’s when the tower collapsed. I dropped everything in my hands and I just punched her continuing to then pull her hair and then pushed her to the ground. The fight continued until we were split by the teachers. I was taken to the office to then be asked by the principal “what was that all about?” I just walked out and then was sent home. After that day I just locked myself away in my bedroom, not talking to anyone. I was sent to a new high school where I pretended to be a person that I wasn’t. I started to wear makeup, I stopped eating and that’s when the new Mel began. Looking back on it now I wish I dealt with the situation differently because I couldn't even recognise myself! That was just one of the situations where I ran away from my problems. A more recent one was when I was stood up by a girl who I was meant to be going on a date with. I got to the location where we were meant to meet but then she stood me up. What I did after that was that I got a taxi back home then I relapsed with my bulimia. I punished myself because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and that nobody will like me with the way I look! Now, looking back at that situation, I should have talked to someone. So running from the situation makes me feel ten times worse. I found some other ways that could help you feel better in situations like these; writing it all down in a journal, diary or even creating an article!
Mel Anxiety is a factor that affects every individual and is a typical response to stressful or difficult situations. The different types of anxiety attacks that could be difficult to grasp are anxiety disorders that many people find challenging their everyday lives. This disorder leaves an individual with constant worrying or stress, leading to depleting mental health because of the tension of worrying or panic attacks.
Anyone can sense anxiety coming into effect as your heart starts to race, you begin to shake, lose control over your breath, or feel out of control in the situation. This reaction is definitely a normal one. However, finding ways to combat this anxiety can make problems easier and promote a better mentality moving forth. With the different types of stress discussed earlier, there is one that is prominent with teenagers-social anxiety. The broad definition of social anxiety is having a fear of being judged or rejected in social situations. Many of these instances can be seen in classrooms while presenting or when being with large groups of people. You might feel the anxiousness that comes with speaking in front of a large group or having a fast-paced/shaky tone. One piece of advice to keep in mind is that you are not alone. Millions of others experience similar anxiety, so not perfecting something like a presentation in school or fitting into a social setting is entirely normal. Ways to get assistance on social anxiety could be to practice more healthy habits or breathing exercises to practice. If you feel anxious about an event, grab a journal and write down your thoughts.If you feel angry or frustrated, go on a run or let your energy lose and blow some steam off by doing physical activity. If you are genuinely struggling and need more help outside of yourself, a critical piece of advice that I can give is to talk to someone, whether it be a friend or a professional which could both prove effective in different ways. I have provided a link to a website that furthermore discusses anxiety, the different types, helplines, and many more. https://www.mentalhelp.net/anxiety/hotline/. In my experience, anxiety has been a part of me and has always been a factor in my lifetime. I constantly feel myself worrying or holding unnecessary tension in my everyday tasks and life. Especially now, with a new shift in school, I find myself worrying and afraid of the possible outcomes of a negative situation or me not fitting in. I am still working on aiding my anxiety. I take appropriate steps that help me feel better, such as working out, journaling, reading, and cleaning my mind by taking breaks from social media, focusing more on myself and my own downtime. Finally, I practice breathing and complete 5-10 minute meditation sessions in the morning and night to provide my brain with a break and have a fresh mindset for the rest of the day/next. Finally, anxiety is not something that is easy to overcome, but it is a part of you that you must aid and treat if it begins to affect you. Once again, there is a link provided in the article about more information regarding this topic and hotlines if you need more help, which is always okay. I wish all of you the best and hope you are navigating life in a manner of your own. Sincerely, Julius. “Never judge a book by its cover.” This is a common expression used when you meet someone new-to never judge them solely based on appearance. However, we can’t help it sometimes. We are quick to judge and write off someone, assuming that they are rude or impolite. Yet, that might not always be the case. Those who suffer from anxiety have coping mechanisms and side effects that can come across as “rude.”
A lot of us have been in a social situation where we’ve felt we didn’t showcase ourselves in the way we wanted to. Whether it was being too chatty in fear of awkward silences or being too quiet. For people who live with anxiety, situations like this can feel all too real. There are other ways as well which include: They leave an event early or abruptly: Our body’s natural reaction is “flight” or “fight.” In this case, the “flight” response is activated. If someone’s anxiety is becoming too intense, their brain’s response to a perceived threat will tell them that it’s time to go. They cancel plans last minute: Chances are that they are excited to go out but as those plans near closer, anxiety begins to speaker louder. Their anxious thoughts may consist of fearing a panic attack in public or avoiding triggering situations. They ask “can you repeat that?” multiple times in a conversation: Brain fog! People with anxiety are overwhelmed with thoughts. At times, it can be hard to process so much information at once. They seem withdrawn or don’t talk much in a conversation: People with anxiety may fear being judged for what they say or how they say it. Some would prefer to listen to what others are saying, rather than input their thoughts into a conversation. They are irritable and easily agitated for what may seem like “no reason”: Anxiety is overwhelming! Imagine trying to battle your thoughts, physical sensations, and a sense of impending doom all while trying to navigate at once. I have been in situations where due to my anxiety, I may have come across as rude. Whenever I am out with friends or at a party, I end up staying for a very short while before leaving. Also, during these social gatherings, I stick by the side of who I’m with. This is where I would be seen as clingy and disrespectful. This is something I don’t mean to be. I just want to stay with people I know. I also don’t know how to connect with random strangers. I don’t know what I can trust about what they do or say. I don’t know how to react to the conversation. So I become monotoned to avoid saying or doing the wrong things. But once I get to know them, I start to relax and I can be myself. I’m not as cold as I initially seem. These are just a few things that I do that can easily come across as rude to others to strangers and acquaintances. But there are ways to overcome your anxiety with these coping mechanisms. Some methods include: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps people learn different ways of thinking about and reacting to inducing anxiety situations. A therapist can help you develop ways to change negative thought patterns and behaviours before they get out of control. Identify and manage your triggers: Whether it is on your own or with a therapist, learn what your triggers are and how to manage them. Sometimes they can be obvious, like caffeine, drinking alcohol, or smoking. Other times they can be less obvious. Long-term problems, such as work-related situations, may take some time to figure out. When you do figure out your trigger, you should try to limit your exposure if you can. Meditation: Meditation can help your brain dismiss anxious thoughts when they arise. If sitting still and concentrating is difficult, try starting with yoga. Health: Exercising regularly, eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and staying connected to people who care about you are great ways to not think of your anxiety. Medication: If your anxiety is severe enough that your mental health is being jeopardised, discuss your concerns with your doctor. (Note: Remember that different methods work for different people.) Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress. How we deal with it may come across as “rude” to those that do not know us. For loved ones, recognize that these anxiety-driven patterns can be extremely difficult for the anxious person to adjust, especially if they're in the midst of a clinical anxiety problem. To get in contact with your local helplines then visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Indie Anxiety is described as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. While the majority of individuals will experience anxiety at some point in their life, some may experience anxiety frequently at a more intense level. Through overthinking and overanalyzing, those with anxiety will constantly fret over multiple situations, oftentimes being irrational.
The difference between being anxious about a specific event such as a public speech, a first date, or a test, and being anxious over nearly everything is that when one experiences severe anxiety, their entire life can bring them unease. While anxiety is an umbrella term, some may not know the different forms of anxiety disorders. Separation anxiety is described as inappropriate and excessive fear or anxiety concerning separation from those to whom the individual is attached. Regardless as to why someone is excessively attached to a specific individual, it can become a disorder if the individual has recurrent excessive distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from home, excessive worry over losing someone from illness, injury, disasters, or even death. Some may even struggle to leave their house due to fear of being away from someone. Another form of anxiety can be a specific phobia where one experiences anxiety over a specific object or situation. Social anxiety disorder is the fear of one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others. This can include the fear of having a conversation with unfamiliar people or performing in front of others. Panic disorder is when one experiences recurrent unexpected panic attacks. A panic attack is known as an abrupt surge of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes (symptoms may include sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, etc). Perhaps the most well-known anxiety disorder is generalized anxiety disorder which is excessive anxiety and worry occurring more days than not about a number of events or activities. This anxiety is difficult to control and can lead to irritability, restlessness, sleep disturbance, etc. When I was younger, my anxiety was rooted in bullying. After attending schools and being bullied by other students, I began being home schooled for a few years and was terrified to reenter a physical school afterward. This caused me to keep to myself and limit my socialization in fear of once again being bullied. As I have grown older and made friends, this fear has decreased dramatically. Although some days I do fear being around others I do not know well, I am able to control it better and conquer my fears. Though this anxiety has decreased, I still suffer from other forms of anxiety. Some days I become stressed over irrational fears and am unable to focus on anything else. Some nights I find it challenging to sleep due to thoughts racing through my head and tormenting me. The anxiety can get so intense that I may experience a panic attack that is difficult to stop. Although I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, I have found healthy ways to cope and clear my mind of these irrational worries. By speaking with someone who I am close to, such as a family member or friend, they are able to reassure me and let me know that these worries are over situations that are unlikely to occur. They are aware of the severity of anxiety and therefore do not undermine my feelings but do aid in reassuring me so that I can calm down. Some ways to deal with a panic attack include deep breathing and focusing on an object. A calm way to focus is to look around and see five things, touch four things, hear three things, smell two things, and taste one thing. This can help one get out of a panic attack and focus on what is around them and slow one’s mind. It is also valuable to know that everything will be okay and having someone tell you this can greatly aid in calming down. The majority of the fears that one experiences when suffering from an anxiety disorder are oftentimes unlikely and therefore it is important to set these fears to rest and focus on other things. By talking with someone, watching TV, listening to music, going for a walk, doing chores, etc, one can get their mind off of their worries and stabilize. Everyone experiences anxiety now and again and it can be perfectly natural. However, if the anxiety remains constant and controls your life, it might be wise to seek help. Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life, help can greatly reduce the anxiety one may suffer from. It is useful to realize that the anxiety is temporary and oftentimes over an outcome that has a very low probability of occurring. Anxiety can be a serious issue for many and it is also valuable to understand that if you have a loved one who suffers from anxiety. Do not undermine their state but rather provide the support they need whether that be addressing the issue or helping to get their mind off of their worries.
Anxiety; our body’s natural response to dealing with stress. Anxiety is a response our body gives out when we stress, this response is the feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s about to happen. “Anxiety is a mental disorder”. First of all, when you read this sentence, I believe that many of us grew up to believe that a “mental health disorder” meant that something was wrong with our body and it was our fault. I’m sorry to break it to you, but that is completely incorrect. Our bodies are a fascinating thing and we cannot create a disorder or a disease, so, each one of you out there needs to understand that nothing is your fault.
Anxiety is like having the feeling of butterflies when you’re nervous or anxious about something which is about to happen, or when you’re stressed about a couple of things, or when you fear something when you’re sad or worried. Anxiety disorders are when you have these feelings constantly, like nearly every day, and while others sometimes don’t understand what the “big deal” is, its because they don’t understand how it feels to have anxiety nor an anxiety disorder. It’s really hard to cope with anxiety let alone an anxiety disorder because of the immense and overwhelming feelings. Personally, I have a lot of anxiety and I deal with my anxiety nearly on a daily basis. I know how it feels to keep having a constant feeling of being worried or stressed, feeling a shortness of breath, having heart palpitations, to get obsessive over something you can’t control. The feeling of having an anxiety attack is overwhelming, and trust me when I say, I’ve had my fair share of them. An anxiety attack is an immense feeling but I have some tips/tricks which have helped me cope with them; 1) Breathing. When I have an anxiety attack, I usually breathe in for 7 seconds, hold it for 6 seconds and breath out for 8. This helps to slow down your breathing and have better control over it. 2) Talk to your body. When I face an anxiety attack, personally, I can’t control my hands and I get really fidgety, so whenever I can’t control it, I talk to my hands. I know it does sound a bit off but trust me, it does work. 3) Talk to yourself out loud. Talking to yourself out loud to calm yourself down does work. Sometimes, saying it out loud makes your body listen better than talking in your mind. These are my top 3 tips and hopefully, they work for you too. An anxiety attack is not easy to deal with alone so its good to open up about it to your loved ones. For those who don’t have anxiety or an anxiety disorder, if you know someone who does have anxiety/ an anxiety disorder, its always good to know the symptoms: heart palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath/ feelings of choking, dizziness, trembling/shaking, numbness, hot and cold flashes, fear of dying or of losing control, queasy stomach, feeling detached from oneself and one's surroundings. If you know someone who has anxiety/anxiety disorder and is having a panic attack, some ways to help them are: 1) Remain calm. When you know someone is having an attack, you need to remain calm in the situation. They need to have an assurance that everything around them is under control so you should calmly tell them that you are there for them and that they are safe. 2) Ask them how you can help. If the person you know has dealt with anxiety attacks and knows how to control/stop it, then ask them how you can help and what their coping methods are. 3) Do not say “ don’t worry” or “calm down” over and over, it may worsen their attack, instead, make them do breathing exercises with you, like take deep breaths and count with them, or ask them to count down from 100, or ask them to name 5 things they can hear, smell, see or feel. This would help them keep their mind off their anxiety attack and calm them down. These are my top 3 tips on how to help someone if they have an anxiety attack. I won’t say that I know exactly how you feel because I understand that we all cope with our anxiety differently but I am able to understand you and I’m there for you as well. To all of you out there, there is no such thing as being “normal”. We all have our battles to fight and to stand up for, and one battle that we all need to fight is to understand anxiety and anxiety disorders, and eventually all mental disorders out there. It’s our job and now your job if you read this article to stand up and educate others about anxiety and anxiety disorders, and make them understand that it's no one’s fault. You need to be there and support those who have mental disorders, and tell them they are not alone. - Ananya :) Some articles written by TWE with coping and dealing with anxiety and anxiety attacks: a.Dealing with anxiety and panic attacks: what to do: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/dealing-with-anxiety-and-panic-attacks-what-to-do b.Cope with panic attacks: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/cope-with-panic-attacks c.Breathing tips for anxiety: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/breathing-tips-for-anxiety Hotline Numbers to Call: a.Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642): If you don’t feel comfortable with calling someone you know while having a panic attack, some hotline numbers you can call if you need to speak to someone while having a panic attack. You could also call this number if you would like to know more about panic disorders. b.Teen Line: 1-310-855-HOPE (4673) or 1-800-TLC-TEEN (1-800-852-8336): This helpline allows teens in crisis to connect with other teens who understand what they’re going through. The service can also be reached by texting “TEEN” to 839863. Some articles you should check out if you want to understand more about how to deal with your panic attacks: a. Tips on how to stop a panic attack: these tips are really helpful in dealing with your panic attacks and reduce your anxiety symptoms: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack#light-exercise b.This article on “How to deal with anxiety” will help you and teach you more about accepting your anxiety and how to listen more to your body’s messages.https://www.alustforlife.com/tools/mental-health/how-to-deal-with-anxiety?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5tatz9nU6gIVVB0rCh1wYACdEAAY yAAEgKfGfD_BwE An article to read if you want to understand more about anxiety disorder sign and symptoms: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/anxiety-disorder-symptoms Stress: it's an emotion we all feel every now and then. However, with the right mindset, it doesn't take much to combat the dreaded feeling once and for all. With university applications just finished, while the first step of the lengthy process is just about over, the stress never seems to stop. Here are some tips to stay mentally sound during the application process.
Don't Procrastinate: Procrastination is something I've struggled immensely with and is still a big issue that concerns me today. Although I am tempted to leave my work to the last minute, I know that this will ultimately do more harm than good. Instead, you should always start the work ahead of time, and divide the work into sections while doing it. This will allow you to retouch work from before without having to do it all in one go, thus limiting any unnecessary mistakes. Take breaks: Your mental health should be in a place that is steady and calm. Take a deep breath and relax for a while. Do some stretching, take a walk, grab a snack or do some yoga. Just do anything other than work. This will not only strengthen your body, but also your mind. Talk with someone: If you are struggling with applications and need an opinion or two, talk with someone. Communication is key to getting your thoughts across and obtaining sufficient feedback and ideas that can benefit you in your application. Talk with your friends, or even better, an older person who is currently in university. This can be your older sibling, a family friend, or even a relative. With these tips, you can battle stress in any shape or form that comes with the tense pressures of applying to university. While stress is an emotion that will always be apparent in your life, it doesn't mean it should always negatively impact the things you do.
All my life I’ve struggled to keep jobs, keep friendships everything you can think of I’ve found it hard to keep. The most I struggle with is friendships so you can expect what I’m going to say now, I don’t have many friends, and I don’t socialize as others do.
Some people may see this as complete laziness, but for me, it’s a daily struggle to even wake up and find something positive to do. This is when daily activities come in, many people like to work out in the morning before the day ahead, many like to take walks and many like to spend time with their family before heading off to work. For me, it’s the complete opposite. Before you think I’m one of those people who sit at home and play games all day. No, I’m not one of those people, I do have a job, and I do try to go out with the friends that I have (which is hardly any). I do try, and it’s a lot for me to do. I try to keep myself doing at least something per week just to say I have actually achieved something. But it’s a hard battle to fight with yourself. This is what mental health can do to someone. It can drain them, it can take their daily life and make it nonexistent. The days seem long, so you sleep away your worries hoping to one day wake up happy. This is not just one kind of mental health, this can be various of illnesses that do this to our bodies. It’s the way we deal with it that’s important! But also what’s important is that this is recognized as NOT being lazy, but as being mentally drained.
Cheesy quotes aside, music really is one of the best things we humans ever created. Different frequencies of sounds all coming together to create something that can transport you through time and space. A song can take you to the best years of your life or make you bawl your eyes out for no other reason than just the fact that you heard it.
As my life gets more and more chaotic and my emotional state less and less healthy, I always find myself turning to music. I would never go as far as to say that I am an aficionado but it's one of those things that has always played a huge part in my life. Some of my happiest memories are tied to certain songs that never fail to give me the warm and fuzzy feeling of nostalgia. Whether it's playing the same song on loop for hours on end or constantly switching genres, every two minutes, music has always played a big part in determining my mood and sometimes even how productive I am on a given day. I have spent hours just imagining the million different ways my life could be. I have conquered my biggest fears and achieved my wildest dreams in my head. I have breathed life to my stories and characters just because a song just gave me the vibe. Infact listening to an amazing playlist while writing my fanfictions is probably when I am the calmest. I’ll admit, I was late to the aesthetic music trend. A natural consequence of being me apparently cause everyone was onboard this train a long time before me. Regardless they have become a staple in life and I think they are literally the best things to ever happen like ever. Whenever I find my mood drifting towards a bad place, I always know I can find comfort in these. Whether it is my mom yelling at me, me feeling like a loser or if I am just having a bad day, there is always a playlist to help me and I am so grateful for it. From the amazing creators whose talents have honestly no bounds to the hilarious titles and stunning music choices, it's one of the most wholesome and pure communities I have found on youtube and just reading through the comment sections in one of these videos gives me hope that maybe humanity isn’t as far gone as I think. Even as I write this I am vibing to two songs I found on a playlist (interrupted by spotify ads) with rain pouring outside. It's a nice feeling. I have a mountain of work to finish but...at this moment, I feel happy. Contant. Just calm. Rainy days already give me nostalgia for reasons I can’t fathom. Add to that a beautiful playlist and it’s just….good. If I had to imagine heaven had a vibe, I hope this is what it's like. Aesthetic playlists can range from grunge to dark academia to what I can only describe as pastale. If you have an aesthetic, there is a playlist to match it. These songs can transport you to literally a time so long forgotten by you that even you might be surprised by the memories it may dig up. I am convinced that these are therapeutic on a level my brain is simply incapable of computing. These are excellent to calm you down or give you that kick of energy you were looking for. Being a night owl, I often find myself listening to these at night which produce either one of two outcomes - I end up happily drifting off to sleep or I stay up the entire night writing a novel in my head before getting side tracked by calming youtube videos and not getting enough sleep. If you aren’t convinced, here are some of my absolute favourite playlists that have been with me through thick and thin - a playlist of songs that make studying suck less - YouTube homework vibes ~ homework playlist ~ - YouTube lets go on a trip through your nostalgia, a 10's playlist ♡ - YouTube another trip through your nostalgia ( pt. 2 ) - a playlist - YouTube everything’s going to be okay ~ a comfort playlist for anxiety attacks/intrusive thoughts - YouTube indie/alt pop songs i mouth the words to - YouTube songs with ✨ emotional value ✨ - YouTube gloriously alive and causing shit; finger snappin playlist - YouTube i'm here to cause a riot; rebel revelry playlist - YouTube a playlist of songs that make studying suck less - YouTube a playlist that will make you feel like you're in a movie starring as a badass villain. - YouTube Basically these songs honestly act as a mood board for me. There is something for everyone and it's just a beautiful community. If I managed to either introduce you to this concept or a playlist that you adore, I consider it mission accomplished !!
One of the worst things imaginable is waking up early, especially on days where you are allowed to sleep in. You spend hours tossing and turning, hoping sleep will eventually happen, except it doesn’t. If you have ever experienced waking up too early for your liking, you are not alone. Up until recently, I spent years waking up at 4:00 in the morning, even on weekends. This was especially bad since I ended up going to sleep too early. Some people who don’t experience this might see this more as a blessing than a curse because they are unable to wake up early without an alarm clock. However, waking up too early can be detrimental to one’s health, especially because a good chunk of teenagers go to sleep very late. Waking up too early was something that I absolutely hated about my body. Sure, I can brag about being able to rise before my alarm, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be up and about at that time. Problems that have occured to me waking up too early include:
In order to understand our bodies, and why we arise too early in the morning, it is essential that we learn about our circadian rhythm. A circadian rhythm includes physical, mental, and behavioral processes that occur in a 24-hour cycle. A healthy circadian rhythm allows you to go to sleep and wake up at consistent times. However, you still need to aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Finding a good circadian rhythm for me took years, because my body was waking up despite being constantly tired. Below, I have provided some tips that have helped me gain control of my circadian rhythm again.
Now, these may not necessarily work for you. Everyone’s body is different, so you may have to try new methods to fix your circadian rhythm. Below, I have compiled a list of even more solutions in case mine didn’t work.
Waking up early is a part of life, it is something that is necessary for everybody. However, it is possible to wake up too early. It is important to listen to your body and figure out how you can maintain a healthy circadian rhythm so you’re getting as much sleep as necessary.
 “You have been trapped in the glass room for so long that your head is foggy, like the time when alcohol took you into oblivion. Your hand looks shrunken and your shoes look enlarged. The world from the glass room looks like it belongs to a classic black and white movie, almost fake. It seems like you are one of the characters in the movie and people with blurry, distorted faces and hoarse voices. A sigh that escapes your dry lips is slow, almost as if your brain needed that time to process the surroundings to escape the numbness. Your eyes are fixed on your contorted reflection, on the glass, that looks more unsettling than yesterday.” This, reader, is derealization and depersonalization. Derealization is a mental condition where an individual feels detached from their surroundings. While in depersonalization, an individual feels detached from themselves, as if they are watching themselves as an outsider. They aren’t just limited to feeling like being in a dream or numbness. They can be severe and can interfere with your daily life. There are various causes of derealization and depersonalization, ranging from trauma to depression and anxiety. Describing episodes of derealization and depersonalization is difficult. It can cause individuals to be occupied with checking what is real and what is not. Here are a few symptoms: For depersonalization
Majority of my day goes by sitting behind a glass observing my distorted surroundings or myself. Even as I am writing this, I feel like I am observing myself from the back and I know exactly how I look from behind. I have always felt like I am observing everything from a third person point of view, almost like an alien spying on the human world and every activity. My memories lack emotion and seem unreal. It feels like my memories aren’t mine and it is something from a movie, book, or imagination. During my episodes, time usually goes slow, voices seem hollow and my vision is foggy. I know I am going through an episode, but there is no way out of it. After the episode, I forget whatever I did during the episode. I have taken this concern to my mental health professionals. They assumed stress as the main reason behind this and would probably change my medicines to help me out. My psychologist suggested stimulating my brain by using five senses to help me out of my episode. Stimulation can range from bubble bath, music to coloring a book. She suggested I engage in physical activities and continue with the techniques she taught me during CBT. One of the best techniques to help derealization and depersonalization is mindfulness, which basically just means to be aware of your present and stimulate your brain. Here are few mindfulness techniques for when you have your episode:
Remember to keep your eyes moving and your brain working. Don’t continuously zone out on a single thought. Occupy your 5 senses! I usually carry stress toys, gum/candy and small perfumes. They help me stimulate my senses. Meditation, therapy and medications are other options you have. Remember that these episodes can last for a few minutes and even months! Visit a professional if it lasts too long and/or interferes with your daily life. Remember that you are not alone and these episodes won’t last forever. Healing isn’t linear. Zephyr. EXTRA RESOURCES https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352911 (learn more) https://cimhs.com/ (therapy for depression) https://ticktalkto.com/ (therapy with certified professionals)
In this article, Nataliya Davis will be highlighting some important aspects of how to improve your mental health, explaining how to set aside some time to really think about the things that are important to us. Therefore making room for those things. Prioritizing our mental health should always be one of our main concerns day-to-day, and in general life too. Making the necessary changes in order to improve your mental health is so important, even if it's scary. Even when you are unsure Where the changes will lead you. Outside of any obligation you may have, making sure you are okay is the most important, because it's so easy to forget! I'm in a completely different mental space now, because I was committed to making those changes. Which I'll highlight a little later in this article! I'm glad I did so, but it didn't happen so easily, I finally made those adjustments after months of hesitation! Hesitation is normal. Not being sure whether or not you're making the right decision is natural. Let's go over some mental health blockers. Some things that could be affecting how you feel right now are:
Improving your mental health can also include doing things that bring you joy! Some of those things include starting new hobbies or getting back into old hobbies like:
I am also aware that doing things that we enjoy to do to improve our mental health can be just as hard as cutting off a friend, or quitting a job. We all live busy lives, and sometimes it's hard just to get in the regular things that we want to do to have fun, or pursue passions. Over the last 4 years of my life it's been a rollercoaster to evolve, and improve on my mental health, it's something that you will always have to work on! It's just a matter of making sure you never stop doing it! I've had to quit 3 jobs, I started my own small business and have slowly gotten back into my passions and joys, such as reading and writing which were some of my favorite things to do years prior! Although it wasn't easy slowly getting back to those things were some of the best decisions I've ever made. What made it a gradual process to do these things were, being in a relationship, working full time and being exhausted. In addition to that having family and friendship stress! I had to reevaluate what I needed as a person, to get back to myself, outside of everything around me! If you have a lingering thought about doing something, even if you are unsure about it in the moment - write it down! Keep lists of goals you want to accomplish to improve your quality of life! Whether it's just one or two things, it's good to start somewhere! It's okay to start small too! I have always said this in relation to making sure you are okay, "your mental well being is something you will always have to deal with for the rest of your life. It's apart of you. This is your body, and your mind. Things people say and do, Relationships with people, and jobs, will come and go." You will have to maintain your mental health forever, and you will never regret making the necessary changes to keep it in tact. So, if something doesn't feel right or safe let it go. If it's mentally and physically draining you sit and access the resources you have to make those changes. If you know there are things out there you can do that are going to make you happy, take those small steps at a time to pursue it! You will thank yourself in the longrun!
Periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We must not only normalise the physical impact they have, but also the effect they have on mental health too. Instead of shaming others, we must focus on promoting love and support during this stressful time. Whether you are reading this and relate to menstruation affecting your mental health, or want to help those close to you, I hope I can offer some useful tips in tackling this monthly battle.
Over 90% of menstruating people suffer from at least one symptom of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), including headaches, feeling upset, anxiety, irritability, tiredness and bloating. Linked to this, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem similar to PMS but causes more serious symptoms, like severe irritability, depression and anxiety, and these can present themselves a week or two before the period actually starts and ease two or three days after it has begun. Yet, there is still the stigma that people on their periods are overreacting and seeking attention, even though they may be having an internal war with themselves, facing a formidable opponent to their personal growth and success. While hormones are real chemicals that affect us, the destructive thoughts they bring do not in any way represent who we are, our intelligence, our talents and our overall mental health. It is natural to feel so emotionally distressed during menstruation that you may feel you can’t get out of bed. Hopelessness may cripple you, isolating you from the happiness you may have felt the day before and the happiness that may be found in the future. I assure you, the thoughts that are engendered during this time of the month can be soothed and there is always a way for you to prepare yourself mentally, before this self-deprecating version of yourself takes your place temporarily. Before I began to question why I was feeling so despondent and angry during my period, I felt lonely and frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t control my emotions. This still happens now; sometimes I don’t even recognise who I am on my period. I find my thoughts being damaging towards my dreams, my regrets and my self courage. As someone who isn’t a stranger to ill-temper, I find that before, during and after my period, I react badly to those around me and I’ll admit, I say things I don’t mean and find no relief in slamming a door or two after an argument I caused to erupt. Feeling alone, I become restless, unable to sleep and losing passion for my interests. Finding control during menstruation isn’t a simple process and even after finding ways to cope, I sometimes find it impossible to counteract unhealthy thoughts. Imagine training to become an Olympic athlete, being dedicated to wake up early every morning and train, only to be told by your biggest supporter, AKA yourself, that you don’t deserve to succeed/ you can’t succeed/ you don’t want to. Not everyone has a lifelong ambition to become an athlete, but as humans, we strive to become better versions of ourselves, in whatever makes us happiest. Personally, I love to write, but I’ve found that on my period, I tend to doubt my writing ability and words I’ve written before suddenly seem worthless and terrible. I also find my brain trying to convince me I hate my favourite book and it can be difficult to find enjoyment in anything. This is reality; this is life, for a lot of us. But don’t be deterred from trying a few coping mechanisms, because I assure you, you don’t have anything to lose and some of these have really alleviated the symptoms I experience when on my period. How to care for yourself during menstruation:
How you can help others:
I cannot stress enough the importance of understanding mental health during menstruation, as if you’re not self-aware, you may not only hurt yourself but also hurt others. If you think you have severe symptoms, please don’t hesitate to see a doctor. There are many options out there and people who can help, such as cognitive behavioural therapy and fluoxetine- an antidepressant. If you already have a mental illness, your mental health can ameliorate during your period and you should never suffer alone. Talk to a loved one and explain how you’re feeling, as even if they don’t comprehend it now, they will once you have. We’re here at TWE to help if you ever have any concerns or doubts and honestly, contact me or anyone from the team if you ever need someone to talk to. -Nicole https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/ It is not uncommon to gaze off into the distance when distracted or deep into thought. At times, our surroundings may seem blurry and noises may become quiet as we sink into our mind. However in some cases, if one feels themselves disconnecting frequently or for long periods of time, it may not be typical. The difference between simply daydreaming and dissociation is that dissociation is the lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, and one’s identity. This includes feeling detached from your environment and the people around you. This can include feeling emotionally numb and light-headed.
So why do some people dissociate? There are many reasons as to why one may disconnect. The majority of the time, it is a response to trauma, including memories of the trauma. However, it can also be a sign of mental exhaustion. Dissociation can last anywhere from hours to weeks, and can be a symptom of a mental disorder such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, PTSD, etc. Dissociation might also occur more often if one is not getting enough sleep, food, or water. Another common time when one may dissociate can be during a breakdown. One may find themself crying and hurting emotionally one moment and then suddenly stop. It may appear as though they are doing better but in reality, they have become mentally exhausted and dissociate to subconsciously attempt to “leave” the breakdown. I have experienced periods of dissociation on multiple occasions, struggling to bring myself out of it. Although these periods did not last more than a couple hours, they were challenging to deal with while trying to focus on school, or any other task I would have to complete. After dealing with short periods of dissociation, I then experienced longer periods of dissociation, that would last weeks or even months. Although I was still able to complete my daily tasks, it made simple tasks much more challenging. At times, it would feel as though I was in a dream rather than reality and I would have a difficult time feeling anything emotionally or critically thinking. Although it is challenging to focus when one is dissociated, there are ways to aid in stopping it. First, it is important to make sure that you are sleeping and eating enough as lacking to do so may cause one to dissociate more frequently. If you or a loved one experiences dissociation that is a symptom of a mental disorder or a traumatic event, therapy could greatly aid in addressing the struggles and therefore stopping dissociation. Similar to when having a panic attack, it is also important to use your five senses. Naming three things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. -Katherine Helpful Websites: https://batonrougebehavioral.com/5-tips-to-handle-a-dissociative-disorder/ (Gives tips on how to handle dissociation) In the last few weeks, the UK lockdown measures have eased in ways that a lot of us did not think were ever going to happen. Pubs have opened back up, we can eat inside restaurants, and the queues to get inside a clothes shop are the longest that I have seen for a long time. Living in a small town means that it is nice to see local, small businesses opening up again and serving members of the public. However, the anxiety that some of us are feeling makes the idea of going out to casually eat a meal again difficult to deal with. As someone who has definitely felt this stress and anxiety, I thought I’d collate a short list of things that have helped me in return to normality and might help some of you. A couple of ways to help ease the anxiety you might be feeling:
For more information about how to combat feelings of stress and anxiety about the easing of lockdown I thought I would provide some links to further reading that some of you might find helpful. These are websites that I’ve personally visited time and time again whilst looking for advice, therefore having no association or sponsorship with Teenagers with Experience. I think the Mind charity does a really good job of explaining a plethora of feelings that individuals may be experiencing, not only stress and anxiety. In addition to Mind, is Rethink Mental Illness. Their website takes you through a series of scenario-based questions about returning to work, the ever-changing rules and the fear of catching or transmitting to vulnerable friends or family members. It’s easy to think that you are the only person struggling with lockdown easing, especially when scrolling through social media and every other photo is of a person in a bar or with their friends they haven’t seen for months. Remember that social media is not an accurate representation of people’s lives, it’s a highlight reel of their personal best bits. The person who went out the night before may have extreme anxiety about going out in three days time. Here’s hoping that some of this advice helped, don’t forget to share your opinions or advice. Helping each other is how we’ve made it this far over the pandemic.
TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm and substance abuse. I know. Once you find a coping skill that works for you, it can be hard to move away from it. However, some of the coping skills you think are healthy might do more harm than good. You might be wondering: What exactly makes a coping skill unhealthy? Well, a coping skill can be unhealthy in several ways. If the skill has one or more of these factors, it can be deemed maladaptive (or unhealthy):
The question still stands: If some coping mechanisms are so bad, why are we attracted to them? Once again, there are numerous reasons for this. In a simple explanation, people turn to defective ways to cope, rather than beneficial mechanisms, because it provides both instant results and short-term “help”. These coping skills only temporarily mask the difficult emotions, while adaptive coping skills take longer to learn and get used to through practice. Healthy coping skills will help tremendously in the long run while also equipping you with the ability to handle stress, whereas unhealthy coping skills will only postpone the problem for a later time. Some common examples of unhealthy coping mechanisms are, but aren’t limited to substance abuse (ex. Excessive drug or alcohol usage), self mutilation/sabotage, and acts of violence (ex. Harming others). If you struggle, or have struggled with bad coping mechanisms - similar to the ones listed or different - chances are you have been seeking out alternatives in an attempt to free yourself of them. Alternatives such as these include finding other ways to feel the ‘sensation’, such as snapping a rubber band against your wrist to resist the urge to cut yourself, trying different ways to feel ‘intoxicated’ without actually consuming drugs or alcohol, and taking your anger out on a pillow instead of a wall or another person. While these alternatives don’t cause direct harm, that doesn’t mean they are healthy. Things such as these can be potentially helpful with the process of moving away from negative coping mechanisms, however they’re not something you should stick with for longer than necessary. Why are these coping skills unhealthy, exactly? Well, even though you’re not actively harming yourself, that is still the implication of acts such as these, is it not? Though it keeps you from enduring serious harm, what will you do if these sensations are not enough? Or if you can’t use these methods? These are rhetorical questions since the answers are quite obvious: you will more than likely fall back onto those original coping mechanisms; anything to feel those sensations. That’s why it’s best to distance yourself from the concept of them entirely. Ideally, you shouldn’t be inflicting harm upon yourself, getting violent, or feeling high. Instead, you should be focused on practicing healthy ways to relieve those intense emotions. If you have suffered from these maladaptive habits, you have probably found yourself saying: “I can’t stop.” Though it may seem so, this is not a fact. You can stop, but it’s going to be a hard hill to climb. This doesn’t mean you should jump straight to the conclusion that you will never overcome what you’re going through. The best way to start removing these addictions from your habits is by ridding yourself of those things that tempt you. Remove all sharp objects that can trigger your urges, like razor blades, knives and pencil sharpeners away from your presence. If you can’t hide certain things, avoid directing your attention onto them. If you can’t do that, either, there are additional resources to support you - crisis lines, rehabilitation centres, support groups - anything you can think of. If you have someone to help you, make sure to keep open communication with them about your urges and emotions. By doing this, they can help you to the best of their abilities. There are additional steps you can take to shift your focus away from those sensations, rather than focusing on different ways to feel them. I know from experience that taking care of yourself can be difficult, and becoming clean isn’t so easy -especially when it feels like nothing or nobody can help you. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and recognizing your unhealthy habits is the starting point of your marathon towards it. Some of the best coping mechanisms I’ve developed over time are writing and drawing. These help me express my emotions adequately. There are various healthy coping skills out there. I wish you the best of luck on your recovery journey, and I hope you’ll take what I said to heart. Practice self-nurturing! There are plenty of sources to help you, even if you don't have access to a therapist or direct help from professionals. There are several websites to both encourage and assist with your well-being and recovery, including helplines, hotlines, therapy aids, and us - Teenagers With Experience. There will always be people who care, something to get clean for. Even if it seems like you’re always stuck in the dark, there will always be some light.
TW: brief mentions of self harm CW: very brief mentions of dissociation, hallucinations, and intrusive thoughts You don’t need to involve your family in your mental health journey, there are many other options. You must have heard it before, when adults say “if you are struggling, reach out to a trusted adult”. What they don’t actually address is how difficult that really is. Mental health struggles are super alienating experiences that most high school kids tend to feel embarrassed about. Whether that is rational or not, it stops most of us from actually taking that step to “reach out”. There are two main issues we have with asking for help; we think it means telling our parents what is going on inside of our heads, and it is incredibly emotionally vulnerable to step forward and tell someone you are struggling internally (in any way). So telling us we have to ask for help when we need it and never really elaborating is rather ineffective. We never hear what our options actually are. I have a bunch of serious mental health issues. They started when I was ten. The first time I “reached out” was when I was seventeen. It took me almost a decade to follow the advice of the adults in my life. That’s almost a decade of mental torment that I, being a child, had no idea how to cope with. Yet I decided I would rather internalize all of it than speak to a single other soul about anything. To let you in on how bad my mental health was, without me “reaching out”, I am going to list some of the most prominent struggles I’ve gone through on my own: -major depressive episodes starting at a young age (so bad I never showered or brushed my hair, and I was self harming at the age of 10) -extreme social anxiety -generalized anxiety to the point where my resting heart rate was around 130 bpm every time I got checked -panic attacks that somehow went unnoticed by others A little later on (9th grade +) -PTSD -dissociation -hallucinations -my depression became seasonal, still pretty severe -intrusive thoughts -social anxiety got the slightest bit better, generalized became worse All that and I never “reached out” because no one told me how to. I come from a family that doesn’t understand mental health issues and believes in a lot of stigma around different disorders. I couldn’t go to any of them about my struggles, and I didn’t think I could go to anybody else without my family being told or eventually finding out. It wasn’t until I emailed my school's social worker a year ago and asked her about confidentiality that I discovered that there were options for people in my situation. -- Do know that I am from Canada, and a few things about my experience may be different depending on where you live. Hopefully you discover those pieces by following some of my advice. The first step is to change your way of thinking about asking for help. If you are unsure of an adults willingness to support you, or how they may respond, keep in mind that you don’t have to connect with them about your actual struggles right away. You can reach out about reaching out. Pick your trusted adult, preferably a social worker because they are professionally trained to support you without parent-involvement. When you choose and eventually approach them, just ask if you can talk to them about your mental health, and make sure to clarify that you want confidentiality. It sounds hard, but it really is that simple; just open the conversation up. Again, this is way easier if you have a social worker at your school, because you can simply say you want to know the boundaries of their confidentiality rules and they have to tell you, and then you’re set to actually tell them what you’re struggling with (as long as it doesn’t exceed said boundaries). I have spoken to both my social worker and a few of my favourite teachers, and my family has never once been contacted. Just so you’re aware, the boundaries for a social worker are normally only self-harm related, for safety reasons, and I don’t suggest pushing them. It’s better to call/text a crisis line if you need private support. Remember that you are in complete control here. This is a situation where you actually do get to call the shots when speaking to an adult. You get to decide what you do and don’t tell them, depending on your needs. Take full advantage of your power in that moment. If they ask a question you don’t feel comfortable answering, it is in your power to say that. Something that encouraged me to finally ask for support was understanding that I can withhold all of the information I want to. After talking about confidentiality, it’s time to test the waters. Start as small as you want, and see how they respond. I was super wary and vague when I first started talking to my school’s social worker, and now I consider her a friend (I know, super embarrassing). Basically, you don’t owe any more information than you’re comfortable giving in order to receive support. Also, if you have severe social anxiety like me, you can do all of this over email if that’s what you want. I connected that way with my school social worker for months. Once I got comfortable emailing back and forth with her for so long, I finally agreed to meet her in person. I even asked her to meet me outside of the guidance room (there are so many offices in there and I didn’t want to knock on the wrong door) and she did! Again, you are in charge, communicate in whatever way works best for you. Another reason a school social worker is best if you have one is that they usually have other resources to offer you. I said no to any external resources because it was stepping out of my comfort zone at the time, but there are more free mental health resources for teens than they tell us! From my understanding, unless you need a ride there, you are set to go by yourself. My social worker even offered to call in advance to make me feel more comfortable with going. I still didn’t go because of my anxiety, so that is the extent of my knowledge there, but I do know that school social workers have great connections to many free, accessible, confidential resources. If you have a family doctor and live somewhere where there is free healthcare (I don’t know if you guys have to pay for general visits), they keep confidentiality from other family members as well. My social worker told me about that because some of my anxiety issues are physical rather than mental, making them only treatable with medication. I tell you this because social workers offer CBT based support and for disorders like that, they can’t fully help. Whether or not you have a disorder that requires medication, doctors can also offer you mental health resources without your family knowing. For my trans friends, my gender therapist (recommended by my family doctor, if you need one) also sent me a bunch of different mental health resources. Mine had a connection with a social worker that I am able to see for free, with confidentiality rules that actually allow me to discuss thoughts of self-harm privately (make sure to ask about that if you connect with one though). Research different gender clinics/centers in your general area and see what they offer! -- As a mentally ill high school student, we are told too often to just ask for help, and not told enough what will happen once we do. I hope this article eased your mind a little. Opening up about your mental health is not a death sentence, although it tends to feel that way. If you don’t want your parents involved, they don’t have to be. If you don’t want to get completely vulnerable right away, start small. You just need to learn what supports and resources are available to you, and use them in the most beneficial way for you. You don’t have to do this on your own, there are options.
Being alone is a bit hard and a bit sad. I have noticed that when you are alone every problem in your life is somehow causing more pain than ever. I have noticed that being alone, especially at school, is tiring. I thought being alone would be easy until being alone meant feeling lonely even when thousands of people are surrounding me. I want to say that it will get better. But I somehow have been alone for 5 years. I know of people and they know of me but when I am sad or happy I have no one to tell. When I want to rant, I see myself in the mirror as the only option. I see people getting called by friends, lovers, and family and yet I am the one calling others. I have heard that I am a person who loves risky. Loving risky means loving someone more than they would ever love you. I realised with time that being alone has clear consequences and benefits: Consequences aka cons:
I put my attention into getting busy. I made playlists for every emotion I could possibly have. My life is eating, exercising, studying, sleeping, reading and working. I don’t have fun because it has never been an option for me. I realize again being alone for sometime meant becoming a boring person. I honestly think my situation is a bit ironic. I am a high school student who has never done high school things. I have an ability of carrying high expectations while being remarkably pessimistic and sarcastic. I’m trying to tell you what and how you shouldn’t be. Live your life as if you would die the next day. I can’t tell you I remember a lot of my recent life that wasn’t overwhelmed by work. There were summers that I wished to be back in school. There were times even when school was my sanctuary because life is not that fun when you are a solo warrior. We are not all solo warriors. I believe there are many people with friends; having one or two good friends is all that matters. Honestly I can say for myself that this article is a rant. A rant I can’t tell anyone because I don’t trust anyone enough for them to understand. This is my experience while growing up. I am hopeful that yours is completely different and happier. But you never know, 5 years from now I could be the happiest woman alive. (717)394-2000 - Emotional listening support line 1-877-870-4673 -The Samaritans HelpLine
TW: Self-Harm, Body Image I used to love swimming. It was a large part of my childhood- the early morning swims that my family would do on holiday, going to the beach with my friends and going to the local pool on weekends. I think my favourite part of it all was the silence, that unnatural calm that you get when you are underwater- the feeling that nothing and no one can touch you in that moment, away from all the noise above the surface. I didn’t realise how much I yearned for it until it was gone. My dad asked me today if I wanted to go to the pool with him tomorrow, just the two of us. He is rarely home and the thought of us sharing that moment, just like when I was a kid, filled me with hope and comfort. It was only until I was sitting in the shower hours later that I realised I had failed to consider two important factors.
Somehow I managed to lapse, just for a moment, back to three years ago. A time before I started to self-harm, before my body was the first thing on my mind in the morning. And yet, that reality of the things, the person that I had lost, swept me away in a tidal wave. It occurred to me how much I was missing, the empty hole I was trying to fill by turning on myself. I really hope that in a couple of months time, I will look back on this article after my first trip back in the water. I hope things will be different. Because right now, I will be honest: I am so tired. It is not easy being this way, watching the things you love escape out of your reach. But the important thing that I try to keep reminding myself is that I’m trying. It might not mean much but I am, and I hope you will too. I have been struggling with self harm for almost 4 years now, and that is not easy to come back from. But we must all find a way, in whatever steps we take, that are towards a brighter future for ourselves. We must find something to fight for. I fight for the silence. For the water. For the person I left behind beneath the surface. Have faith in yourself, receive the love you deserve.
Fear of missing out, commonly known as FOMO, is a perception that one might be having a much better life than you and the belief that there are important events being missed. It is closely tied to social anxiety, self doubts with self harm being one of the deadly end results. Every teenager has said this at least once,”I wish I was a part of that group” or “I feel like my friends don’t really want to include me in their group”. That is where the trouble begins . That sentence. While it’s completely okay to be insecure, it can be deadly. It decreases self esteem and has a great impact on your mental health. Grades 6-8 were a period in which I had a major Fear of missing out. I would constantly try to change myself to fit in with other girls in my class. I would cry myself to sleep at night. I was troubled. Soon, I started to read more about this condition and realised it was me who did this to myself. After a couple of months of self love, a journal ,meditation, and new and true friends, I finally did not feel alone anymore. I felt like I was worthy of my friends. It did not stop there. 9th grade was worse too. But now, I knew what I had to do. I had to focus on myself and reach out to people whenever I needed help. I realised that trying to fit in is never the solution. It is to be happy by yourself and surround people who will be happy for who you truly are. It is you yourself who can make you stronger than yesterday. You need to love yourself if you want others to love you. Everyone is amazing in their own way, they just have a hard time realizing it and you might be going through that phase right now. Reach out to a therapist or anyone you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with. Meditate everyday, journal your emotions and do things that make you happy. It’s never easy but you’ll get there. In the end, everything is going to be okay.
I toss and turn as my digestive system processes the two sleeping aid pills I swallowed. My bloodshot eyes fall upon the clock—two forty-five a.m. I have an early morning shift tomorrow! My eyes are heavy; my body is sore, the house is quiet, and yet I am still awake. Argh! Typical night. Indeed, this is a typical night in the life of a student juggling school, work, and the day-to-day demands. This constant lack of sleep is referred to as insomnia. According to WebMD.com, insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by the inability to fall asleep and/or stay asleep. It also adds that insomnia is divided into two categories. The first one is referred to as primary insomnia and includes sleep problems that are not linked to health conditions. On the other hand, secondary insomnia is for the sleeping problems caused by health conditions, including mental health. My insomnia started once I turned eighteen when duties and worries began to line up. And yet, I couldn't connect the dots. Therefore, I began to hunt for the specific cause of this condition in other areas. Was my room too hot? Did I get too much blue light and not enough sunlight? Did someone cast a spell on me? Of course not! (It's the 21st century, after all.) Thinking that the cause of my sleeplessness fell into one of these categories, I came up with some minor life changes. I spent more time outside, I turned on the A.C. before bedtime, and I left my phone in the drawer for hours. Indeed, things would get better. Drumroll, please. No result! None. Nada. I was still tossing and turning and glaring at the clock. Before falling into despair and resigning to a life of bloodshot eyes and cranky mood, I observed a specific pattern before bedtime. Every time I was going to bed, my mind started to wonder about upcoming deadlines, job searches, scholarship essays, pretty much everything that would bring me down. It didn’t take a Google search for me to realize that stress was the leading cause of my insomnia. Therefore, I threw all my sleeping aids away and started relaxation methods. Yoga, reading, listening to 80s songs, white noises; I tried them all and began to plan them after a while. And even when stressful thoughts tried to sneak their way into my mind, I sat and took a couple of deep breaths, and it’s all better. I suffered from primary insomnia, which was more related to my habits than medical conditions. This experience, though painful, taught me that sometimes a single pattern could lead to severe consequences. Now that I took control of my sleep, my eyes haven’t looked better, and people can bear to be around me. Some websites/blogs that help (they do not sponsor TWE): sciencedaily.com/news/health sleepfoundation.org
Everyone feels lonely at some point, it’s a deep-rooted feeling that bubbles to the surface whenever you feel the teeny-tiniest bit down, which can be annoying however, there are explanations for this and ways to help manage. There are a few reasons as to why people feel lonely and after doing some research, I found that there are 5 main reasons to people feeling lonely:
Here are my personal tips to feel better when I’m feeling lonely:
I hope my research and personal ways of tackling loneliness are of some use to you, loneliness can be one of the worst feelings and if push comes to shove, I'm your friend and you can always message me for a quick or long chat. You can find me on Instagram or twitter @em_taylorxox.
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Teenagers With Experience is an organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form found on our home page.
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