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By Mel Therapy can seem like a pretty scary thing to even think about let alone start. That’s what I thought anyway when I was told I would benefit from starting therapy.
My first therapy session, let’s say didn’t go well.. But that’s because I was new to it. I was new to my health condition, I was a young person dealing with something I knew nothing about. I thought therapy was a jail where they kept you for an hour or two and made you sit to listen. But throughout the years, I came to learn it was the complete opposite. A few therapy sessions down the line, I was starting to see some progress. But still, it was very hard for me to come to terms with what exactly I was dealing with and how serious it was! But I wasn’t the only one who found it hard, it was very hard for my parents too! During the time, I didn’t think anything of it. I justit I just thought I was being targeted but now I look back on it, I was completely wrong, they wanted to help me! A few things I learnt from my first time in therapy were;
Over the years, therapy becamebecome a weekly focus for me during high school. After school sessions, I would dread the most because I just wanted to go home but now when I go to therapy I look forward to it. The reason I look forward to it now is that I feel like I can share my thoughts and feelings that I’ve been having and then get advice on what and how to deal with them. One of the best things I’ve gained from therapy is journalling, I spend a few moments a day writing in my multiple journals (yes I do have quite a lot!) But each journal has a specific topic, but also you can get creative with the pages too! But also, from therapy, I found out what I want my future goal to be in life and that’s to become a mental health nurse or something to do with helping people who have experienced what I have. I want to share my stories and knowledge about mental health to guide people in the right direction. I have done various volunteering for mental health charities so that’s just the start of my journey!
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By Yara Therapy isn’t always pleasant. Painful memories, frustration, fear might sometimes seep to the surface. Therapy is both a partnership between you and your therapist, and a safe place. But what if your therapist is the reason for your unpleasant experience? What if you feel as though they are not giving you concrete advice or forcing you to speak upon a topic you don’t want to?
I can recall nervously sitting across from my therapist and illustrating all incidents of bullying I had gone through, even though I didn’t want to share them. I would complete all the tasks she had assigned me and share my feelings and problems, but I never receive concrete techniques to cope with my problems or make me feel better. Our CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) sessions were about 10 minutes long - 6x lower than the average - and mostly consisted of her listening and giving me a task. She often treated me like I was faking my problems. I would never receive the time I had paid for and was usually rushed out of the door. Wasn’t I opting for therapy in order to receive concrete advice to ease my problems? Wasn’t she supposed to help me learn to cope with my problems and make me feel better? At that time, I said nothing. But now I know I do have an option to communicate my concerns with her behavior towards both me and my parents. I could say that it wasn’t working out for me. It took time, but I have learned that I can set boundaries with my therapist. Setting boundaries with anyone is difficult. Since we have not been directly taught to set boundaries, we are often hesitant to set them or cannot put them into words. So, here are few strategies you can use to set boundaries with your therapist:
These are just a few of the techniques you can try! However, sometimes even setting boundaries cannot help. In such instances, it’s easier to walk away. Many therapists will respect and accept your boundaries. Good therapists remember these boundaries and give you the respect you deserve. Extra resource: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/6-strategies-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-therapist/ By Heidy If you have read our other articles on Teenagers with Experience, you may have noticed that a majority of our articles will include additional resources to reach out to if any of our readers need someone to talk to. These resources will commonly be helplines.
We may already have someone in our lives to talk to, such as a trusted friend, romantic partner, or relative. Even when we have someone to reach out to, expressing our emotional pain to anyone can feel uncomfortable, scary, or we might believe that we can handle our pain independently. Speaking up about our issues takes an enormous amount of courage. And when we do speak up, connections amongst those who care about us will strengthen and relationships will grow closer. Talking about what we're going through with someone else feels comforting because when someone else knows about our challenges, we no longer feel as though we have to face our battles alone. Alternatively, talking to our close loved ones may also present a few drawbacks. With good intentions, our loved ones can offer us biased suggestions that aren't always useful or try ways to make us feel better but end up making us feel worse. When my boyfriend, Dan, died in 2018, I was miserable. I remember one person, as a way to comfort me, told me, "I know how you feel. I lost my baby due to a miscarriage." Although they may have wanted to make me feel understood and connected, that was one of the last things that I wanted to hear: more tragic deaths. While I was feeling bitter and bereaved, I wanted to believe that they didn't know how I felt, even if they did experience an awful, heartbreaking loss as well. All I wanted was to be listened to. Aside from conversations that try to be helpful but can end up minimizing how we feel, we also tend to hold back from becoming vulnerable for several reasons. I sometimes hate myself but I don't like telling my mom that because she gets angry that I use a strong word like "hate." So, I play it down and say, "I don't feel good about myself." When we're under distress and in crisis or we're simply not feeling emotionally well, this is where experienced mental health professionals can step in. The other day, I reached out to the Crisis Text Line when I was experiencing thoughts of suicidal ideation. I didn't want anyone to worry but I knew I needed support right away. Just the act of opening up and having to no longer keep these thoughts to myself made the emotional pain manageable. The trained crisis counselor listened and empathized. That was really all I needed to feel at ease and ready to take on the world again. By the end of our text-based conversation, I had a plan for what I would do to cope and distract myself to keep myself safe for that night. Looking for mental health hotlines is a Google search away. I have also included several numbers down below for those who live in the U.S. and the U.K. Whatever mental health issue you are experiencing (LGBTQ+A, domestic violence, sexual assault, bullying, depression, anxiety, self-injury, etc.), there is a chance that there is a crisis hotline for it. I used to think that hotlines were exclusively for those who were under an urgent mental health emergency. On the contrary! Anyone can reach out. A lot of people contact hotlines like Crisis Text Line after a romantic break-up, a family argument, an anxiety-inducing exam, or friendship troubles. If you're experiencing emotional pain and need someone to talk to, that is reason enough to call or text for support. Several hotlines are available 24/7. Sometimes late night hours are when people can feel at most vulnerable to their emotional and mental issues due to rumination, inability to sleep, or other potential causes. Do not worry about proper etiquette - reach out at 3AM, if you need to speak to a mental health professional at that moment! Above all, these confidential mental health services are 100% free. Reaching out for help isn’t easy so be proud of yourself when you take that big step to open up about your struggles. Hotline Contact Information for U.S. and U.K. residents United States National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-4673 National Eating Disorders Association: 1-800-931-2237 (Monday - Thursday 11AM-9PM ET, Friday 11AM-5PM ET) National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-4357 Warmlines: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/ United Kingdom: Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 85258 Anxiety UK: Call 03444 775 774 | Text 07537 416 905 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre: 0808 802 9999 (12:00 - 14:30, 19:00 - 21:30 everyday) Survivors UK: Male Rape and Sexual Abuse: chat online at https://www.survivorsuk.org/ or chat via SMS at 020 3322 1860 Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 Switchboard LGBT: 0300 330 0630 (10:00-22:00 every day) You matter. You're important. You're loved. And your presence on this earth makes a difference, whether you see it or not! By Syfia Writing is well known as a tool for emotion management. I didn’t believe that till I started writing in my diary. My diary is the place when I can be the most vulnerable and honest. In fact, all I wrote is about my anger, resentment, and dump feelings. I thought ‘am I a bad person? why did I piss off over small problems?”. But of course no. Anger is a natural emotion.
I started writing because I realized I have a bunch of thoughts and emotions piled up. I didn’t want to share those feelings with others because it is very hard to verbalize my thoughts. So, I decided to write. I express everything I thought on that day. I also write my activity just in case I want to recall particular days. I set apart any judgments, aesthetics, and social standards. I want to be true in my free zone, that is my diary. After 3 weeks of writing in my diary, I started to love it. I love how writing can alleviate my mind. When my pen touches the paper, that’s when my burdens are transferred onto paper. Sometimes I cry; sometimes I just scribble; sometimes I laugh. Now, writing has become my best coping strategy and also my passion. I also took the next step to be part of the writer team in TWE (which I am grateful for), so I can develop my skills. Everyone has their own ways to cope, but here some tips you can do if you want to start expressive writing.
Coping strategies are different for everyone. People may prefer to find social support, ranting, or writing. You can choose any tools to cope that you like. By Zephyr TW:SELF-HARM, LIFE THREATENING ACTIVITIES, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS Have you ever heard a voice and turned around, mindlessly searching for the owner, but no one is there?
I have felt like this for a long time now. I hear a voice and mindlessly look around for the owner, only to realize the voice is in my head and no one can hear it. Voices I hear are distinct from one another; their tone, use of words, sentences, just everything is different. Just by hearing them, I can imagine what the owner might be like. The voices I hear are beyond just murmuring, ringing and whispering. I have heard them telling me to hurt my loved ones with a knife, hurt myself with a scissor and do other threatening activities. I have heard them screaming and yelling so intensely that I couldn’t sleep. I have found out that music and watching Run BTS helps. Hearing voices can be extremely upsetting and disturbing. It can harm your concentration and sleep and prevent you from doing your regular activities as small as brushing your teeth! Here are few ways you can manage these voices:
I hope these strategies help you! Engaging yourself in things you love helps a lot! Consult professional help if your voices get worse or you act on them. You can use these strategies when you know you hear voices. But what if you are not sure if you are really hearing them? I have to admit: at the very beginning I thought my mind was playing games on me. I couldn’t separate where I was really hearing voices, or I was just imagining. So, here is what hearing voices can feel like:
Therapy has helped me cope with these voices a lot better. Healing isn’t linear and I am still learning to cope with these voices better. Remember that these voices are permanent. These voices are a part of you. They have no power over you and can cause you no harm. My psychiatrist told me, and I quote, “you are not what you hear and you need to let them know you are the boss and they need to shut up”. Pretty ruthless, but it definitely knocked some sense into me. You can always vent to us on our social media platforms! You are NOT what you hear, and you are IN control. Extra Resources: By Indie Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities. Anhedonia can be a symptom of depression or any other mental health disorder.
There are two types of anhedonia. Social and physical anhedonia. Social anhedonia is the lack of interest in social gatherings whilst physical anhedonia is the disinterest in feeling sensations. E.g. your favourite foods might taste bland or the hobbies you once enjoyed, you don’t enjoy anymore. What causes anhedonia? Anhedonia might be caused by procrastination. Doing less stressful things than focusing on important tasks, can lead to anhedonia and depression. This increases the chances of anhedonia although there are factors that are caused by imbalances of chemicals in the brain. I am familiar with anhedonia. It is the most stressful part when I experience depression. Hobbies and things I used to enjoy, I do not enjoy them anymore once anhedonia arrives. Everything that I do to try to pass the time does not feel enjoyable anymore. Times like this feel like I am being swallowed into a black hole. Whenever anhedonia strikes, I find that meditation can help. Doing meditation for five to fifteen minutes improves my ability to complete tasks. Another way to treat anhedonia is by seeking the help of a medical professional. Your medical professional may prescribe you medication or help change your current lifestyle. E.g. time management and dietary changes. The lack of interest/pleasure can affect your life. Contact a medical professional as soon as possible. Anhedonia can only go away when your mental health is managed. To get in contact with your local helplines then visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ By Tabitha I've never quite understood my desperation for change. The endless nights of the same menial tasks kept me stuck in my gears. Having the desire for something more but not knowing how to get there or what to do. I felt like I was stuck in the mud.
This constant desperation had me in a loop of what I could possibly do more, what I could improve on or whether I was enough. I would get myself in a depressive state whenever this would happen. Getting yourself into a rut is a common experience, in fact, many people experience the symptoms of getting into a rut and don’t recognise that this falls in line with the symptoms of depression. Soon you start to lose interest in the things you once loved. Frustration can begin to kick in the longer you stay in this rut. You can often feel like you might never come out of it, or you've reached your peak. Other factors include everyday feeling the same, feeling unfulfilled or unmotivated, or even wanting to get yourself out of it but fearing the short discomfort that comes with it. I find myself getting in and out of ruts quite frequently. My desperation for change fuels my frustration whenever this happens and I start to isolate myself or take it out on others unintentionally. A recent example was trying to write this particular article. I struggled to write this article for months, trying to find the right words to articulate how I felt and what process I go through to get myself out of this. However, I was failing to listen to my own advice. I noticed that I was in a rut so deep that I found myself reluctant to get out of it and continued to avoid bettering myself to progress any further. Sometimes the motivation to get yourself out of a situation doesn’t come to you immediately. Therefore I decided to reflect back on what I had done and achieved. I read through this article, months after I had written something to build upon and noticed I was in a better headspace to articulate and understand myself when I was in this situation. You won’t always recognise the obstacles preventing you from progressing until you overcome them. Usually, the reason for getting into a rut is because you feel like you've hit a certain milestone. You don't know where to go from there. You need a new goal. Start evaluating everything you've done so far. Think about what you've done to achieve it. Is there anything you need to improve? Consider the other milestones you can hit before moving on. Allowing yourself to fixate on a new goal can help you to remain focused. The next question is finding this new goal. What if you don't know what to improve on? What if you don't know what you're working towards? The confused and lost feeling starts to sink in and you begin to trap yourself further in this rut. At this stage, you need to reassure yourself that you've done this before and you can do this again. If this is your first time getting into a rut then see it as a positive break. Often it requires a big change of gears with your drive. You may not know what you need to do but you can start reinforcing your skills to work on your weaknesses. For example, ask for opinions on what you do and who you are, change your focus onto another aspect of life different to the one that got you stuck, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve gotten. Getting stuck in a rut is never the easiest position to be in. It's as if you're going to be there forever. It's a huge test of faith, resilience and determination to move forward. However, once you get out of it it’s an extremely rewarding feeling that allows you to reflect on your past and see how much you’ve improved. Know that you have people supporting you through this and it should never be a rush to get yourself out of a rut, take it at your own pace and understand you’re doing all that you can. By Keerthi Change is daunting. Always.
In this article I don’t mean to belittle your experiences or dictate your emotions. You are allowed to feel and wallow in your emotions. You are allowed to not want to adopt a glass half-full mindset. This article is just for you to read so that, a few months down the line, when you are neck-deep in this new situation, you can re-evaluate your choices. Personally, I don’t think it’s always healthy to adopt a new situation and adapt immediately. Resistance is what builds grit - it helps you determine the core of your character: what you are willing to compromise on and what you choose to fight for. It is better to really immerse yourself in emotions rather than brush them off because you are important and what you are feeling is a valid response to the situation, no matter what others might say. I’ve been to seven different schools in three wildly different countries. Making friends is difficult: finding the courage is hard; finding the motivation is even harder. Culture takes a while to get used to, making the choice to retain some freedoms and exposing yourself to public judgement takes even longer to get used to. Having stable mental health is a challenge; achieving a state open to happiness is more challenging. I know this. Let me help you through it. I’ll detail my personal plan and you can adapt it to suit your particular case.
Don’t feel pressured into adopting a happy countenance if that’s not what reflects your true feelings. You deserve to feel; to be human. I know it’s cliche, but as with everything else in life: this too shall pass. I’ll see you on the other side. By Ines We all know of social media’s impossible expectations. Every single teenager who has access to social media has fallen victim to some sort of pressure to do better, with whether it's about school, sports, talents, or any other area of “needed improvement”; one of the most common pressures on teenagers is about body image, and with summer approaching fast, these expectations intensity more and more everyday.
What is a “summer body?” In the simplest terms, a “summer body” is defined as a toned or slim body, usually meant for the approval or attraction of others. In California, a woman is expected to have an “hourglass” figure while also maintaining a flat stomach and no stretch marks, and a man is expected to have abs and an overall muscular physique. These demands are unattainable for the average person. Everyone’s body is different, not to mention it takes a lot of effort to workout consistently and not everyone has the time. It is very apparent that these standards are ridiculous. Another key aspect of this term is the “summer” part, originating from the warmer weather. The high temperatures during summer, combined with common activities like swimming, often lead to lighter or more revealing clothes. These things are not inherently negative, however, many people suffer from insecurities about their body and may not feel as confident. Scars, acne, stretch marks, body fat, and hyperpigmentation are all very normal features, yet, so many people feel vulnerable when these parts are visible during the summer. It is so important to be aware of this, and treat people with respect by not pointing them out or drawing lots of attention to them. While many people associate a “summer body” with being “fit,” the process of attaining this expectation is far from healthy. I experienced this pressure firsthand during the spring and summer of 2020. For context, my area was very heavily impacted by COVID-19, and all the schools had shut down in the early spring. Because of this, many social media influencers encouraged people to workout at their homes to spend their time at home wisely. Achieving a “fit” body has always been a popular topic on the internet, but the pandemic has severely increased the discussion of it. It felt like everyday I was seeing posts along the lines of “don’t waste your time at home! Build the best body you can for the summer!” I felt drained, both emotionally and physically. Social media made me feel as though I was not doing enough to look a certain way. I kept catching myself accidentally comparing my body to the ones I saw online. The bodies that have been photoshopped. The bodies where people’s acne and scars had been blurred and edited out. The bodies in which girls used filters and angles to look “perfect.” It was exhausting, but I kept going back to these images and wondering what I could do to make myself the same. The reality is, I am not the same as those girls. They are beautiful, and so am I, but we are entirely separate. By the time summer came, I realized that I was stressing over attaining a body type that wouldn’t even make me happy. Even though I didn’t meet the high standards of a “summer body,” I was still happy, and moreover, I was healthy. My journey to self-acceptance was not easy, but there were two tips that I followed to help myself feel better. The first practice that I used was drawing. Art has always been a passion of mine, but this time was slightly different. Over the spring and summer I focused on centering my art around different body types. This allowed me to analyze the features that make people unique. Additionally, it helped me to embrace my own features that I wouldn’t normally draw. This tip really improved me learn to fully accept myself and others through art. The next piece of advice was much harder, but it was the most important aspect of getting over my stress. I had to completely alter the way I interacted with social media. For starters, I drastically limited my usage on apps like instagram, tiktok, and snapchat. Secondly, I needed to add diversity to my influencer following. This meant that I started following people with different body types or facial features to truly commit to seeing the beauty within everyone. This changed the way that I viewed the discussion around the “summer body” demands, because instead of centering the conversation around my own experiences, I broadened my perspective and learned a lot from other people. I want everyone to truly understand that the “summer body” standard is flawed. It constantly pushes unfair demands upon young and impressionable teenagers. Our bodies are not trends for the seasons, nor are they meant to be picked apart and compared to others. I used to not fully comprehend this, as I thought that it was possible to morph myself into the people I admired on social media. It was not. By drawing and taking breaks from social media, I spent my time focusing on how to love myself for who I am. Recognizing that the “summer body” was not right for me was another key aspect for my journey towards self acceptance. Afterall, happiness and healthiness are far more important than the way you look. I hope this article helped! By Sophie Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror and suddenly become fixated on these purple or white linear bands that are on your body? Have you ever questioned what they are, why you have them and how to get rid of them?
Stretch marks are very common among the population; up to 90% of women have them. They may appear anywhere on the body but most people have them on their hips, thighs, back, abdomen and arms. They develop after your body has been through some rapid changes, so whether you’ve grown up fast during puberty or gained/lost weight. So, when the elastin and collagen in our skin rupture, they create these marks which at first appear as purple and then become white with time. So, these physical changes can affect your mental state, how you perceive yourself and your self-esteem. The first stretch marks I saw on my body were on my thighs and calves and they immediately made me self-conscious. I wouldn’t wear skirts, shorts or dresses for eight years, unless it was in winter as I would wear tights underneath. I thought people who gained weight fast only had this problem and I felt ashamed of myself for letting my body reach such a point. I tried several serums to make them go away but nothing worked. This caused me to lose my money, time and energy (yes, applying serums/creams/oils twice a day for two months can be quite time consuming and tiring!). However, I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to open up about this topic I considered sensitive with my friends. Most of my friends are skinnier than I am and I wasn’t sure whether they would even understand where I’m coming from. But, to my surprise, they did. We chatted about this for long hours and I understood that any person can have stretch marks and that they are normal. Through this conversation, I learned more about my friends and also discovered that Stretch marks can be anywhere on your body. This made me feel more comfortable and I didn’t even feel embarrassed talking about this subject because it’s something very common and normal. This boosted my confidence and being surrounded by people who are understanding, benevolent and in the same boat as I was helped me a lot. I believe that it takes time to understand that stretch marks are more common than you ever thought and the more bodies you’ll see, the more you’ll grasp that. Here are some tips to help you handle stretch marks:
Remember, the majority of people walking on this planet have stretch marks. They can appear anywhere on your body and usually when you have fast physical changes. I would suggest naming them tiger lines as this might help you feel empowered and strong. Even though each body is different, stretch marks are pretty much the same, no matter how lonely you feel, know that you are most probably in the same boat as everyone else! By Indie Disclaimer: This article is not sponsored. I think we can all agree that when we're down music is what we turn to. It helps us connect to our emotions on a much deeper level. Music can mend a broken heart or uplift your mood. For aeons, music has proved to help us cope with life's challenges. Within this century, scientists found out that music can help with combating anxiety and depression. So here are some songs that when I'm down listen to.
Exhale - Sabrina Carpenter "I put too much weight on words and glances, I, I put too much weight on situations, I, I put too much on myself, thinking I don't deserve what I've earned, but, yeah" This song touches on Sabrina Carpenter's emotions that surround her anxiety as well as the pressures that surround her life. Carpenter has stated that this is her most personal song as she feels vulnerable whenever she sings it. How this song relates to me and maybe to whoever is reading this is that I tend to over-analyse "words and glances" and "put too much weight on situations." No doubt this is how a lot of us feel as well. Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor "So many times it happens too fast, you trade your passion for glory, don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive." This song tells the story of a man who is simply surviving. He preaches that he "must fight to keep his dreams alive." He shows that he does not give up on achieving his goals. He also sings about how he condemns "trading passion for glory." This song teaches you to not give up on what you are dreaming of, even if you think that it's impossible. This song tells you that if you set your mind to something (eye of the tiger) and don't give up, you can make it. Also, if you're a Supernatural fan like me, then Jensen Ackles doing a cover to this song is enough to bring a smile to your face. Glorious - Macklemore ft Skylar Grey "I made it through the darkest part of the night. And now I see the sunrise." This song is not only amazing but the music video is absolutely "glorious." You can't help but feel immense happiness while you listen to the song or watch the music video. This gospel positive song showcases in the music video as Mackelmore's grandmother, who is turning 100 years old. In the music video, you can watch how she does what she didn't have a chance to do growing up. The music video is wholesome while also the lyrics. As Jon Blistein of Rolling Stone magazine wrote: "Glorious" has rapid percussion and an energizing piano loop. Macklemore unravels a torrent of lyrics that complement Grey's gospel-tinged hook." They regarded the song as "an ode to fresh starts and embracing life". I agree with if you are looking to start over on life and begin again. Exothermic - Faouzia "Took this pain inside of me, turned it into gold." Make no mistake, throughout this song you'll keep wondering how Faouzia's voice is bright and dark at the same time. Exothermic is a song that is filled with painful yet passionate words and melody. Faouzia's powerful yet relatable lyrics are exactly what draws listeners in. It's the song you need to listen to when you're feeling down. Let It Be - The Beatles "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, 'let it be'" Paul McCartney wrote this song. It was inspired by his mother, Mary, who died when he was 14. McCartney says this is a very positive song. He tells the story about how one night when he was paranoid and anxious, he had a dream where he saw his mother. She came to him in his time of need, speaking words of wisdom that brought him much peace when he needed it. It was this sweet dream that got him to begin writing the song. Upon listening to this song it clearly states how you should leave your problems behind and move on in life. Control - Zoe Wees "Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous, fighting my anxiety constantly I try to control it" Zoe Wees sings about her struggle with childhood epilepsy. She sees this song as her way to leave that part of her past behind. Dedicating this song to her school teacher, she thanks her teacher for playing an important role in that time. Whether it was in the classroom or hospital. One of the reasons why I love this song is because Wees has shared that even though it was a painful reliving her experience, she knows that she wasn't the only one. Another reason why I love this song is that it is a song that can heal and soothes the soul. Reasons To Stay - Kate Vogel "The beauty will outweigh the pain, we'll all find a purpose one day, there are so many reasons to stay" If you're going through a time where you can't help but question your life's purpose then I recommend listening to this song. This song will give you a sense of hope when going through hard times. In the first and second verses, Kate Vogel sings about the reasons why she would give up before singing the chorus where she lists off the "reasons to stay." There you have it. Here are some of the songs I listen to whenever I am feeling down and need a pick me up. Either through upbeat lyrics, melodies or even both these songs will no doubt help you through the darkest of times. Hopefully, these songs can cheer you up and if there are some songs that I didn’t mention then feel free to comment down below. If you feel as if you are struggling with any mental health illnesses try to talk to someone you trust. Whether it’s your parents, close relative or close friend. Although you may or may not know me, keeping your struggles bottled up is never a good idea. No doubt you have heard - the longer you keep something in, the longer it will affect your life. If you are struggling with mental health and want to get help, here is a link in which you can get in contact with local mental health supporters. https://checkpointorg.com/global/ By Camille It happened. Again. It does not matter how I am feeling or what I was doing, it never fails to make its presence known. I can feel it rumbling in my chest, slowly creeping in my bones, begging to be let out. I feel helpless in these moments, and I hate every second of it. Anxiety has always had a place in my life. Unfortunately, it has become a bigger problem as I grow older, becoming a thorn in my side. Nowadays it feels as though I am in a constant state of anxiety, with the occasional flare-ups. Compared to how I feel during a flare-up, I do not necessarily mind being in a constant state of anxiety. But, that does not mean I don’t yearn for the years when my only anxiety came from having to speak in front of the class. My constant state of anxiety derives from my constant worrying about my future. I know what I want to do, but I am worried that I might not achieve that, and while I have a backup plan, it doesn’t sound as enticing as my initial plans. While my continuous anxiousness isn’t too bothersome, it is the sudden intensity of anxiety at times that is causing me to write this article. I have never experienced flare-ups before so when I faced my first one, I did not know how to react. The flare-ups I had were extreme anxiety that was very stubborn and did not want to leave my system. A flare-up is defined as a sudden outburst of something. One moment I am content, then I experience a flare-up that causes my anxiety levels to spike. In fact, I never even realized it was a flare-up until I continued to have them and realized I had the same symptoms. The symptoms I had during these episodes include:
The hardest part about dealing with these episodes is the sole fact that I am doing it alone. I was never one to voice my thoughts aloud, the only way I speak my feelings is through writing articles, hoping to find some sort of solace from those that read them. On the other hand, since America does not offer free healthcare to all, I cannot receive any medication or medical attention without having to spend money I don’t even have. My solutions to these problems come from reading articles from other people experiencing the same thing, research, and trial and error. My main word of advice is if you can get help, please do so; whether that be in the form of professional counselling and/or medication. If you find yourself unable to do so, then you can refer to my list below on ways I found useful in being able to soothe my flare-ups of anxiety, or other ways I found via research.
Anxiety is no fun. In this day and age, it is, unfortunately, becoming more common. When it comes to flare-ups, it is easy to feel helpless, but that isn’t the case. These episodes may make you feel as though you cannot overcome them, but you can combat these overwhelming feelings. You will reach a point in which you no longer have to fight anxiety. The sun will come out, the grass will grow, the birds will start chirping, and everything will fall into place. Just hold on, my friend. If you or anyone you know is facing anxiety or feelings of depression, please get help.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline - This link will take you to a page of various helplines, and a FAQ page for any questions you may have. Remedy Live - For those who do not wish to speak, Remedy Live includes a 24/7 chat service. Mind - This website includes links useful for those who face mental health issues. This is for those based in the UK. By Anna Under the influences of society, whether it be through media or cultural standards and values, many girls fall victim to toxic standards for beauty. The Western idealism of eurocentric features, as well as thinness, is rooted in the TV shows we grew up watching, the Barbies we played with as children, and in the diet culture we observed in our own parents, eventually shaping our personal definitions of beauty. During puberty, these begin to play into the way we perceive our growing bodies; we find ourselves constantly questioning whether our physical appearance is deemed acceptable. Unconsciously, we begin to objectify ourselves, no longer valuing our bodies for their true purpose, but rather for their worth in the lens of society.
In order to heal and escape from the effects of this perpetual internalization, it is important to discover the ‘true purpose’ of our bodies, and in turn begin to separate ourselves from the harmful self-objectification we’ve grown to develop. Body neutrality is a philosophy that allows one to regain their sense of self-worth by dismantling and abandoning their beliefs surrounding bodies and body image. Body neutrality serves as an alternative to the body-confidence mindset, which generally emphasizes self-acceptance through believing that, regardless of whether your appearance is ‘conventionally attractive’, you deserve to love your appearance, and therefore yourself. The approach of body neutrality takes self-acceptance a step further by completely shifting one’s value system and essentially reversing self-objectification. Although both strategies are equally as effective in resetting one’s beliefs surrounding body image, the mindset of self-confidence, in the sense that one deserves to feel that their body is beautiful, is rooted in the ideology that measures self-worth according to attractiveness and beauty, except through the lens of the individual rather than that of society. The approach of body neutrality abandons the notion that one must look good to feel good, instead looking at bodies solely from a biological perspective. Positive body-image is redefined as what your body can actually do for you; seeing your body as an entity entirely separate from your internal self; as a vehicle by which you are protected, and that you use to live your life. In turn, this mindset emphasizes the idea that one doesn’t have to be in love with their appearance, or have any opinion on their appearance, but rather that the value of their body is determined by how it works and not how it looks. Therefore, this strategy allows people to prioritize how they physically feel instead of how they look; they are motivated to eat, exercise, etc. for the sole purpose of nurturing their physical body to continue to carry out its uses. Though body neutrality may seem blissful to those who are ruled by their body image, it requires the reversal of the very value system that we’ve absorbed continually throughout our lives. As a result of media consumption and inherited cultural values, among many other factors, girls have learned to place immense importance on physical appearance, which unconsciously results in self-objectification. This is also exemplified by the body-confidence mindset that many have branded as a strategy for self-love. However, despite not being in full alignment with society in terms of the standard for beauty, the body-confidence mindset only reinforces the idea that one’s worth is determined by their physical appearance. The practice of body neutrality is based on reevaluating whether one’s appearance should be determinant of their confidence, and instead places emphasis on health and physical wellbeing. In turn, this allows more room for emotional and mental prioritization, and therefore growth and improvement outside of physical appearance. The way we perceive both our bodies and our self-worth is largely rooted in a set of superficial, inherently racist, fatphobic ideals that have become inescapable as a result of internalization and normalization among generations. It is the responsibility of teens within our generation to analyse and dismantle these damaging ideologies and values and ultimately decide the best strategies to finally eliminate them. Body confidence and body neutrality serve as just two forms of self-perception, equally worth implementing, that can help our society reach stability and continue to progress through the acceptance of oneself and of others. By Divaani I like listening to silence. It gives me time to wonder what could be. It allows me to unravel my thoughts and process them one after another. But often, I’m left with a turmoil of thoughts tangled in my mind creating a hurdle when I search for the right words to say; and I start to feel uneasy. It’s almost like something is pressing on my heart and it’s only getting louder and louder but in reality, there’s nothing accompanying me but silence.
Some have a name for people like us: introverts- labelled as individuals predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with things going on around them. On the contrary, I think we’re misunderstood. The reason for our silence isn’t narcissism as subtly implied, but fear. This is usually the fear of not saying the right thing or just saying anything at all. I’d wait and wait for the right time to speak until I find that the moment’s gone; leaving me to listen and to observe. It soothes me. I’m always looking outside my window and just watching attentively. Sometimes, I’d see the figure of a mother holding the hand of her little one tightly; every so often ensuring that his scarf is wrapped around securely, keeping him warm. Other times, there’d be nothing but untrodden snow. I was just about to enter the hall occupied with strangers; all I knew was that they were interested in taking the same course as me and that they were clustered in the same age group. The room was filled with noises of excitement and teenagers chatting away amongst themselves. I envied them. They made it look so easy. I looked around me to see a clear division of newly formed groups. I spotted someone next to me and a mass of disorganised thoughts started to creep into my mind. Should I initiate a conversation? If I do, what do I say? What should I say to make myself seem interesting? Would they even want to talk to me? I could feel the heat rushing to my face as I cleared my throat to speak. But they turned around and smiled at me. More often than not, the world is a nice place. We’re reminded time and time again that everyone has concerns and fears. It’s okay to have these irrational thoughts. It’s okay that there are times you want to scream and there are times you want to hide. It is completely natural to feel this way but the only thing you need to acknowledge is that you don’t have to do it alone. There are so many people surrounding you who will only ever love you more if you ever decide to open up to them. We need human interaction; the sounds of laughing, teasing, reminiscing; the sounds of people to keep us going. We need each other to let ourselves be comforted.
I was feeling low today, and then out of nowhere, I searched on Google 'How to feel better.’ Tips from some really popular articles came up.
One suggested, 'Have a good laugh,' and my mind felt like, 'Oh okay, thanks for letting me know.’ Then there was another one, 'Eat a snack,’ and that's when I felt, 'I could have come up with this in my sleep; do better, you guys.’ A couple of minutes later, I realised that I'd become a snarky critic, throwing sarcasm every two minutes and not valuing anyone's efforts to put in an article to help me feel better. Maybe I should appreciate it more and talk back a little less. Maybe that would make me feel better now and then. So, people out there reading my article, please know that to feel better, you need to think and speak better about yourself and others. If you're not able to do this, maybe try having a good laugh or eating a snack. It works. I'm glad I could help. A few minutes later, someone reading my article thinks, 'Oh, okay, thanks for letting me know; I could have come up with this in my sleep.’ Yes, life could be a vicious circle. I'm again glad that I could help. I hope you feel better. By Anirudh In recent years, the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) has witnessed a surge in admission rates, bringing mental health into the spotlight. Depression seems to be at the heart of the issue, driven by Singapore's hyper-competitive and stressful culture. Stress is more than just a phenomenon; it breeds despair and sadness. Students facing stress may withdraw from social circles, feeling inferior due to academic pressure, poor performance, or peer pressure. This could lead to a sense of worthlessness and a loss of meaning in life.
Addressing this problem requires understanding the role of various stakeholders. While critics blame the education system, we must acknowledge the cost of maintaining Singapore's world-class education and the pressure to excel for the nation's reputation. Parents, too, may inadvertently contribute by pressuring their children to perform well academically. The advent of social media adds to the pressure, with constant reminders of others' success. To tackle this issue, students should cultivate self-esteem and recognize their value to family, country, and the world. Parents must also view their children as precious possessions. Building a supportive environment is crucial, taking mini-steps to alleviate pressure on young Singaporeans. Understanding that each child is valuable will contribute to positive change. While mental health issues cannot vanish overnight, we can draw inspiration from movies like '3 Idiots,' which shed light on the education system. Let us strive to create a society where mental health is nurtured, and all will be well." By Mel Some people just don’t understand my actions and that’s why I always worry about staying over at a friend’s house. I like to eat at home; it’s my safe space, and I can do as I please (talking reasonably).
So what happens when I’m invited out for lunch or get invited around to a friend’s house for tea? Well, that’s when my article comes into play. See, having bulimia nervosa comes with many different types of behaviours, for example: When I go out for a meal, I ask for it to be taken away. Now, why would you ask for ltake away unch when you came out to eat with your friend? That’s what a lot of people would think. But, if you’re my friend, you’d understand. As someone who overthinks, I think that everyone cares about what I’m doing, but truly they don’t. They just want to eat their food with their company. Another example of bulimia actions/ behaviours is I’m currently at my partner's new flat, so it’s a bit new for me to be staying over in an environment where I’m not used to being with someone else when I eat,as I usually eat alone in my room. I bought food that I wanted to eat at home, but it was still hot so I let it cool on the side. However, since my partner was there, I started overthinking about what he thought of me assuming he would say, “Why on earth has she got food in a bag just there?” I was walking around, hiding the food because I didn’t want him to see me with it in case he would be disgusted with me. When I’m around people, I buy tons and tons of food to stock your bedroom or kitchen. For me, it’s my bedroom -on’t worry, I put the refrigerated food where it should be downstairs in the fridge - with small snacks like crips. I feel awful, and every month, I have a moment where I feel so disgusted in myself. So what do I do? I beat myself up and then I go through the food I’ve got, cry to myself and put them in bags to take downstairs. Once there,I ask my parents to take it away from me as it was making me feel depressed. It’s the first time I’m writing about this, and it’s been happening for many years. It feels good to get it off my chest that I suffer from this because I don’t know if other people have this behaviour too. I guess that’s the next step for me on this journey; I’ve tackled the first stage of opening up. Now, it’s trying to find out if there are other people out there who know this feeling and how they deal/dealt with it. Onwards, I’m hoping to manage my eating with more stability that I do at this moment. And to be able to reach out to others who suffer with Bulimia, listen to their stories to hopefully gain knowledge and new ways of coping with my emotions other than stress binging. It will be a very hard cycle to break after so many years, but I’m willing to try anything at this point. By Mel Eating disorders often involve a combination of psychological, biological, and social factors. They're not just about food or weight; they're often intertwined with deep-seated emotional and psychological issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
I’ve suffered from Bulimia Nervosa since I was 10 - now turning 26, that’s a lot of years taken away from my life due to this illness. The hard truth is that it becomes a part of you, and it’s hard to part ways with something you’ve relied on for so long. Another hard truth is that individuals with eating disorders often struggle with social relationships and may withdraw from friends and family due to shame, guilt, or fear of judgment. This is very true because I find it very hard to go out for family meals or just to have a conversation about food, as it makes me feel uncomfortable or awkward. There's still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma surrounding eating disorders, which can prevent individuals from seeking help or receiving proper support. This is why a lot of cases of mental illnesses are unknown due to the lack of support and help out there. In recent years, the eating disorder has taken some serious physical effects on me, such as:
To manage these symptoms, I’m taking the time I need to rest as that’s best for my body and not ignoring when my body needs to sleep. I try to have regular checkups with the doctor and have my blood taken at least every month. With the tooth problems, I always use mouthwash to help slow the process down but to also clean out the food in my gums and teeth. Memory loss affects me the most, so I tend to write in my journal every day about what has happened so I can look back on it and remind myself. Also, a good tool to use if you have these problems is a to do list or schedule. Those are just some of the side effects and dark truths about how severe an eating disorder can get without any help. If you are looking for help then please visit the websites below or call the helplines provided! Beat 0808 801 0677 (England) 0808 801 0433 (Wales) Website: beateatingdisorders.org.uk Overeaters Anonymous Great Britain Website: oagb.org.uk Samaritans 116 123 (freephone) Website: https://www.samaritans.org/ Talk ED talk-ed.org.uk National Alliance for Eating Disorders Hotline Phone: 1-866-662-1235 Website: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ By Mel First of all what is “splitting” and what does it mean? a subconscious defence mechanism, meaning people will see others, situations and themselves as good or bad. There is no in-between! This is very common in people who suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). It causes rapid shifts in emotions which can affect relationships and friendships.
Splitting usually happens when it’s triggered by emotional distress for example:
To put it simply, the brain uses the “splitting mechanism” to simplify complex emotions or even to protect the person from emotional pain. This can cause severe mood swings and sudden shifts in perception. For example: I find it very hard to make decisions so I usually leave it to someone else to deal with the situation as it makes me feel anxious and I start to panic. Another thing I find hard to deal with as a person with BPD is that I may initially see someone as perfect, only to suddenly view them as entirely bad after a perceived slight. This is a classic example of the “black or white” vision when you either see one or the other, no in between. A person may feel amazing one day and worthless the next due to severe mood swings, which, again, can change in a heartbeat. Splitting in BPD can affect your work life too by sudden shifts in trust or resentment. I struggle with keeping a job due to this reason, but now I have found a job that suits me which is helping blind people and taking them for days out. It took me a while but I got there! can also make you feel social exhaustion to the extent of quitting jobs abruptly due to feeling misunderstood or betrayed. These all fall under the overwhelming emotions BPD people experience. Ways to help splitting in BPD can be beneficial with DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy). In this, you will learn skills like core mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness skills. One method I like to use when I feel my emotions getting too overwhelming is called grounding. Grounding is a technique to help someone stay connected to the present moment when they might feel overwhelmed, anxious, or upset. It's like an anchor that keeps you steady during rough seas. I use the 5-4-3-2-1 method (Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.) I also like to express my emotions through being creative for example, journaling and scrapbooking. Splitting in BPD can make emotions and relationships feel unpredictable, but understanding this pattern is the first step toward healing. By developing awareness, using dialectical thinking, and practising emotional regulation, it is possible to manage extreme thoughts and build healthier connections. In the modern world, social anxiety, loneliness and depression are scarily common. In teenagers, poor mental health is especially concentrated, approximately 4.5 million people below the age of 18 suffer from diagnosed anxiety, and around 2 million suffer from diagnosed depression.
Having a therapy pet can lower loneliness through animal companionship, they also keep you to a routine and give you something to wake up for - helping with depression - and even release endorphins which make you feel happier and calmer in yourself. As well as this, therapy pets are proven to lower blood pressure, improve cardiovascular health, and diminishes overall physical pain. Also, the act of petting an animal produces an automatic relaxation response, reducing the amount of medication some people need. A couple years ago my family got a kitten, and since then our mental health has gotten steadily better, and even brought us closer together as a family unit. Without my cat, I don’t think my family would be at the point it’s at today. Some good animals as therapy pets: Dogs
Of course there are many other animals which are suited to the role of a ‘therapy pet’, these six categories are just the most common. Scientists, psychologists, doctors and animal specialists are constantly discovering new information on the positive effects of therapy pets, so even now we may not yet know the depths to which pets can help us, both mentally and physically. But, we do know that they can greatly help, and definitely have a positive effect on health. However, don’t purchase a therapy pet without first making sure you have the space and money to look after it. Don’t go rushing in to later realise you can’t afford to buy all the equipment needed and the food. Don’t compromise on the animal’s happiness just because you didn’t think the decision through. But, in the end, animals do have a great impact on health, and if you have the means to take care of one, I highly recommend you do. Esme When one is walking around, enjoying their family’s company there will always be a follower. The first thought that may come to your mind is one’s shadow- well you’re not wrong there. But in this case it’s depression, a mental illness that might just suddenly drop your mood. Today was one of those situations which I wanted to enjoy as I was visiting my brother who had moved out a few years back. He now lives in Newcastle, England. He met this beautiful girl called Autumn and then they made it official that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. When myself and my parents picked up my brother and his girlfriend, we all went to the Metro Centre which is a big shopping centre. Straight away me and Autumn headed to the Disney store. Autumn decided to buy a Stitch teddy whilst I went for the wee pig from Moana known as Pua. After that, we walked around the shopping centre just looking what shops there were. I could feel my mood slowly dropping like water going down the drain. I began to get negative thoughts about being the odd one out as there were five of us, myself being the youngest. We walked into spoons for some lunch, the place was packed so it was hard to find a table for five. So we got a table for four and then a two seated table too. They all sat on the four seated table but myself was left to sit on the other, so for me it was hard to hear everyone and trying to join in with the conversations I felt like I was invisible. After lunch, we headed onto more shops to find some Christmas presents. I could just feel myself slowly tagging along like a lost puppy. The four of them went into a shop and I just waited outside as I didn’t feel up to going into the shop with them. I stood there looking over the balcony just thinking, ‘Why am I even here’ or other thoughts like, ‘I hate myself so much, no one cares’. It’s thoughts like these that ruin such grand situations, making you feel worthless. But I know I’m not the only one out there who gets these kind of thoughts. There are other people who feel like no one else cares about them, sometimes just thinking about that gives me a wee bit of hope because I’m not alone if that makes sense. Depression is a killer but you’re not the only one who suffers. Reach out and do what I do, tell people about it! Share your experiences even if it’s just as simple as my situation. It just shows others that they can relate to you and reach out for help. Here’s some tips and tricks on how I deal with depression; Crafts: Distracting yourself with creative thinking is a huge advantage for me! Joining Zumba Classes: Since I found my courage to join a Zumba class, I've enjoyed going every week! Mindful Photography: Take up photography with a focus on mindfulness. Capture the beauty around you, paying attention to the details and living in the moment. Build a Sensory Kit: Create a kit with items that engage your senses (e.g., scented candles, textured objects, soothing music). Use it when you need comfort or distraction. Mel
Depression is known as the “common cold” of the mental health world. However, depression takes the form of various depressive disorders/illnesses do you know that there is more than one type of depression? Well, there are. Different types of depression are chemical imbalances that are caused by either an event that happened in your life or genetic inheritance. The stigmatisation and miseducation surrounding mental health have unfortunately made many people unaware of different types of depressive/mental disorders. This is why it is important to differentiate between them to understand mental health. Major Depression: Clinical depression involves loss of interest and pleasure in activities and/or loss of interest. As well as trouble sleeping, weight loss or gain, feeling agitated and slowed down mentally and physically. The symptoms are experienced most days and last for at least two weeks and interfere in all areas of a person’s life. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: A lot of women experience moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms (PMS). Although at least 8% of these experience symptoms that prevent them from living their normal day-to-day life. This is premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). The difference between PMS and PMDD is that PMDD involves a set of physical and psychological symptoms that would harm the individual’s mental well-being. Common symptoms of PMDD are; severe fatigue, crying and emotional sensitivity, mood changes and difficulty concentrating. Postpartum Depression: The birth of a child can trigger an array of emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also trigger depression. Women who have depression in the weeks and months after childbirth may have postpartum depression. Common symptoms include; mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Seasonal Affective Disorder: This is a period of depression that mostly happens during the winter months when the days grow short and you get less and less sunlight. It usually goes away in the spring and summer. SAD is diagnosed after the person has had the same symptoms during winter for a couple of years. People with SAD are more likely to experience a lack of energy, sleep too much and crave carbohydrates. Bipolar Disorder: Someone with bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, has mood episodes that range from extremes of high energy with an up mood to love depressive periods. When you’re in a low phase, you’ll have the symptoms of major depression. Prior to my diagnosis of clinical depression, I began noticing how I would distance myself from others, sleepless or more and was constantly overthinking. Because I was never taught about mental health and because of stigma, I didn’t know that there was a chance I had depression. People would say that I was “lazy” or was “seeking attention.” That couldn’t be far from the truth. It wasn’t until I started educating myself that I understood mental health. Ways to cope with depression include: Therapy: Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that converts common patterns of negative thinking to control your depression. These strategies include gaining a better understanding of the behaviour and motivation of others, using problem-solving skills to cope with difficult situations and learning to develop a greater sense of confidence in one's abilities. Diet: Research shows a connection between diet and mental health. Many studies show that improving your diet can treat mental illnesses. By no means do I suggest you completely stop eating your favourite dessert but surely reduce the number of times you eat it. If you are planning on making any major changes to your diet then talk to a doctor. Sleep: If you have trouble sleeping or might sleep too much, you’ll struggle to get out of bed because regardless you’ll feel exhausted all the time. For improving your sleep try; turning off your electronics an hour before you go to bed. If you want to read a book or do another activity, do so. And only your bed for sleep. Working in bed or even your bedroom can cause you to link your bed with stress. Light therapy: This type of therapy is especially for those suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This involves sitting by a special lamp called a lightbox. This produces the light that’s missing during the winter months. By sitting in front of a lightbox for 30 minutes to an hour each day you can increase the serotonin chemical in your body. Serotonin is a hormone that affects your mood. Also known as the “happy chemical.” They come in the form of a desk lamp, alarm clock or wall-mounted fixtures. Wellness toolbox: A wellness toolbox can help you relax when you are feeling down. It can be anything that will make you happy e.g. listening to music, hanging out with loved ones or playing with your pet. When you are feeling bad then choose an activity that will bring you joy. There are many forms of depression which means there are many forms of coping mechanisms. Unless diagnosed, you won’t know which one you’ll have. Just know that you aren’t alone. I know how you feel. Not wanting to get out of bed or eat or having these constant dark, loud thoughts. But let me tell you this - It will pass. I know it's a horrible feeling at the moment but just remember that it will pass. It will get better, I promise. You are so strong. Some people do care for you, whether you believe it or not. You will get through this and if you need help along the way, then get help. There is no shame. Down below is a link to get in contact with your local helplines regardless of what country you are from. :) Get in contact with your local helplines visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Indie Sahota IndieFeeling empty has got to be one of the weirdest things in the world. It’s not an emotion, so you don’t feel sad or angry or upset, but there’s still something that’s just not quite… right. The word itself means there’s nothing, so why, as I write this, do I feel as though a weight is dragging me down at my chest? I like to pretend I’m on top of everything by making schedules, picking up hobbies, and setting myself challenges and goals. I’m not, though, and that gives me an empty feeling. It’s as though no matter what I do I can’t seem to fill this void of… something… which constantly weighs me down, filling me with absolutely nothing at all. The concept itself is ridiculous, add that to the actual ‘feeling’ and you have a recipe for disaster. When I feel this way, it’s as though my life goes almost hazy, or foggy, like I’m watching everything happen, without actually being involved. So, what do I think you should do when you feel empty? - Talk to friends or people you are comfortable around. This doesn’t mean you have to unload all of your emotions on them, because you may not even really understand how you’re feeling (hence, the emptiness). When I’m down, I like to joke around with my mates until, hopefully, I forget I was ever feeling iffy in the first place. - Binge watch TV. As I said before, I love setting schedules for myself to keep busy, but I always optionally forget to give myself any downtime. There’s this saying I know that always stops me (I know this isn’t very smart, but that’s my mind): ‘You regret the things you don’t do in life more than the things you do.’ For some reason, this stops me from remembering that I need to care for myself because I don’t see self-care as something that will help me in the future. This is not the case! And, when I’m feeling empty, I remember that. I turn on my laptop, open Netflix, and start watching whatever show is next (right now, that’s Big Bang Theory; Sheldon is a legend). - Write. Now, I know this is more of a personal one to me, but my advice would be to do something you find therapeutic, calming, and stress-free which, for me, is writing! I also love journaling because it is so fun therapeutic, and completely personal to you; you can do whatever you want with it. - Eat something. I’m not saying go and down a whole bag of crisps (although I wouldn’t blame you, they are very scrummy), instead just think about when you last had a nutritious meal. If you feel the way I do, it was probably a while ago, which is why you are now lacking in energy (I know, I’m practically a scientist). - Drink water! If you’re like me, you have a beautiful Chilly’s water bottle filled to the brim right next to you on your desk. Yet, for some reason, you still don’t drink a drop. Why? If you are reading this right now, drink something. We both know you should. - Listen to sad music and cry. This might sound ridiculous but, from my own experience, there’s nothing like a good cry to let out all those confused emotions. Plus, your eyes will be all shiny afterwards (just ignore the redness) and you will feel all refreshed and ready to leave whatever the heck that emptiness was way behind. So, we can all agree that feeling empty, well, isn’t the best (put lightly) but I hope that the above tips can help a little when you are feeling this way. It is also key to remember that, although things are bad now, they will get better. Trust me, I know. I hope this helped :) Have a brill day xx
ChloëDepression is classed as a mood disorder which affects over more than 264 million people of all ages worldwide! One of the side effects of depression is mood swings. I’ve been experiencing mood swings from a very young age and there have been some hard times. My mood could just drop in an instant from being so happy to feel like I have no meaning in life. When I first started to have mood swings I didn’t know what was going on as there is no education about mental health and stuff like mood swings. I felt like I was losing my mind every time my mood changed! My mind became a dark hole where I would isolate myself when I had one of these mood swings. I felt like there was no way out of these cycles of feeling happy but then suddenly depressed. “What caused these mood swings”, I asked myself as a child but now being a young adult I understand I was experiencing depressive thoughts. But, what I didn’t realise was that others around me had these negative thoughts too. One situation I experienced was when I came home from high school and I went straight to my bedroom for 5 days. I didn’t talk to anyone, I just slept, watched movies and slept more. Looking back on that time, it scares me how my behaviour can change. Sometimes, I don’t even recognise myself at all, it’s like I’m a different person These days I try to make a plan of what I can do to cheer myself up. Some of those plans are;
Lists can be so helpful, especially for me! It keeps me feeling in control and this has helped with my mood swings because having them can make you feel controlless. Asking yourself questions can be good as well because then you can explore inside your mind and see what caused that mood swing.
MELLots of people like to talk about ‘self-care’ when it comes to mental health and recovery. You might have seen suggestions for lighting candles, taking a long bubble bath, or reading a favourite book. These are all great suggestions when it comes to taking care of yourself at your lowest points. However, no one likes to talk about the uglier side to this because it’s, well, ugly! I am 21, at university, and I like to think I have experience with bad mental health, particularly with trying what feels like hundreds of methods of “self-care”. For me, they were a replacement for going to the doctor (which you definitely should do) because I was absolutely terrified of giving a name to things like depression and anxiety. I have spent many nights listening to Hozier turned all the way up, trying yoga, painting, playing an instrument, eating healthily, and even journaling. Writing down things I like about myself, things I’m good at, reminding myself that pain and sadness are temporary, leaving countless Post-Its across my old bedroom. There are lots of ‘pretty’ ways to look after yourself. Candles and bubble baths (as I mentioned before) aromatherapy, clean sheets, and a long walk through the park. Instagram, in particular, is a place where these things are shown, with accounts and hashtags dedicated to pictures of fluffy dogs and colourful flowers, peaceful landscapes, and extensive skincare routines. I vividly remember trawling through these images, feeling all the more broken because none of them made me feel better. None of them fixed me. My self-care on some days involved just getting out of bed. Making a start on an essay, even if that was only writing out the title. Just having breakfast felt like an accomplishment. I would come home from sixth form on a Friday, exhausted, and not shower until Monday morning when I had to go back again. Moisturising my arms, throwing my uniform in the wash, and even brushing my teeth and hair felt impossible. When you feel like this, and I’m sure most people have had an experience like this at least once, self-care seems so far from reach. Being okay can feel so far from reach. Sometimes self-care isn’t flowers and being clean and having perfect skin. Yes, these things can make you feel better, but they should never be seen as a substitute for professional help, which a lot of people like to portray. Not many people like to show this side to themselves, surprisingly enough, and this is a HUGE problem. There is a stigma towards symptoms of mental illness and the knee-jerk reaction to coping with them that is just never talked about. The point is, both methods of self-care and recovery are FINE! Whether you use ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’ ways, it doesn’t matter! But both need to be talked about. It is always okay to struggle and reach out to someone, I know I felt so much better when I did to my best friend. It is always okay to not conform to whatever Instagram tells you to do. Find what’s best for you and you alone. - Kaitlyn Kaitlyn |
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |