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It all started on the good old app known as ‘Tinder’. During the pandemic, I decided to download the app and see what it could bring into my life. At first, I did it for a laugh but turns out it was to become more. This person who I matched with became my best friend in the space of a few weeks. She listened to me, she wanted to know how I was doing, and most of all she accepted me. I told her about my seizures and I was expecting her to run away then, unmatch me and be done with it. But I was totally wrong; it didn’t phase her at all. She accepted it and I hadn’t even met her yet. I’ll be honest, she was the total opposite of me but we connected through different things I never thought anyone would like about me. We started to talk every day then one month on, we decided to meet. We did meet during the safe time before the pandemic when people were allowed to travel. The safe way to meet people now during these tough times is to research the rules of the pandemic in your country, don’t risk getting a fine! But also, please make yourself aware of ‘stranger danger’. The reason I met this girl was before I had face-timed her and I got to know her first before arranging anything. Make sure if you are going to meet someone you’ve never met before, it’s in an open space with lots of people around. I was scared, so scared that I was finally meeting this girl in person. I wanted to make a good impression, not mess up and most importantly not have a seizure. So, I was nervous but it took it easy. I got ready, did my makeup and then I was on the train to go and meet this girl who had been putting a smile on my face each morning just by seeing her face. I realised that in the space of a month, she made me come out of my shell and I started to accept myself which I haven’t done for years. This was something different, something new that I’d never experienced before, but I liked it! On the train, I was shaking but my intentions were excited. To finally put a face on this girl who can change your day just by smiling. The time had come, I got off the train and I was walking to the main station where I would meet her. I was standing there shaking still and I couldn’t find her. My first thought was, ‘Oh my, has she stood me up?’ But no, she didn’t. That’s when she came up behind me and hugged me. She was tall but her shoes did add to it! I remember just seeing this girl who went from Tinder to Snapchat to finally seeing her in person. I couldn’t stop smiling and I didn’t want to let go of her because just at that moment I felt like nothing could hurt me. I felt safe, I felt protected. I felt loved. And most of all I felt accepted because we were both expressing our personality through how we looked! That’s when we left the station and we went to good old ‘Weatherspoons’ for our date. We stayed there for a while just getting to know each other more and just enjoying each other’s company. Then it was shopping time! I went all out and just spent my money like there was no tomorrow but I have no regrets. We both enjoyed our time together and that’s what mattered most. But saying goodbye was another matter. I didn’t want this day to end it was so perfect and fun, it felt like my own fairytale. But we did plan to meet again so I was looking forward to that! It’s true when they say, ‘Someone you met two weeks ago can have better intentions than someone you met 2 years ago, don’t let them fool you’. This quote really stuck with me since then and I live by it now. This girl has helped me realise that I am worth more than what people have been treating me like the past few years, like rubbish. It’s time to take the wheel and live my own life instead of fixing others, and I believe it starts here, with her. -Mel mEL
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Definition of ‘LOVE’; an intense feeling of deep affection. Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. But what if Love can turn out to be a curse? What happens when it takes over your mind and you have no clear way of thinking? Is it just the process of a breakup or is it just your mind playing tricks on you? To explore this question, I’m going to share a recent experience that happened to me where I was stuck in between two loves, by that I mean being in a current relationship but wanting to be in another. Now, that may sound awful but hear me out. I was in a ten-month relationship with my now (Ex) and I was struggling with intimacy, my sexuality and above all just being comfortable around him during the ‘fun times’ A few months ago, it occurred to me that it wasn’t him who was the problem, it was me. I didn’t know what I wanted as I was so confused and was staying in a relationship to please other people, not myself. Now, that’s when I put a stop to this relationship because I knew it was wrong of me to continue dating him if I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, what kind of person would I be? Now, onto the other relationship I wanted. I met this other person a few years before my ex. We used to work together, we got on like there were no worries in the world. We shared likes, we shared dislikes it was just an amazing feeling to be around them. They say, if a person gives you butterflies, that’s the one for you. And well, I didn’t believe back then, but now I truly believe in that statement. As they did give me butterflies and they still do every time their name pops up in a conversation I just feel like I’m on cloud nine. Sounds like a ‘teenage romance’ right? But, that’s the way I can only describe it as I felt this was the right decision to make. I was finally putting myself first for once because usually, it’s the opposite way around. Now, in the aftermath of breaking up with my ex, I knew what was coming. My family would be questioning why I ended the relationship. And of course the actual partner at the time. But you know what I did? I just said it as it was; “I’m sorry but I don’t have any feelings for you anymore and I feel this is the right thing to do as I don’t want to use you”. Because I wanted him to be happy, and get into a relationship where he was loved truly as he does deserve that. But it just wasn’t me who could do that for him. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, what would you have done if you were in a similar situation as me? - Mel MEL
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |