Category: Loneliness

dealing with my loneliness

1/4/2022

I have always felt lonely in my life as I find it hard to make friends in school and other places. I did have friends at school, but I never had any best friends and none of the friends I did have understood me well. I am passionate about science subjects so I used to study during the stopgaps when my classmates used to have fun or just talk.

As I am passionate and curious to learn about Science, I spend most of my time reading books. As a result, my friends see me as a nerd and used to stay away from me most of the time except when asking for help. I have always wanted to talk about interesting facts about Science I learned when reading books or watching educational videos. I wanted to share my thoughts and interests with my friends but they always think that I want to talk about studying only.

I refrain from expressing my thoughts and feelings of loneliness or other issues I face to my classmates. I am afraid that they may judge me or probably never talk to me thinking I am emotional. I have been hurt by some friends previously when I shared how sad I was when my grandma died. They did not comfort me; rather, they stopped talking to me. Probably they thought it's not good to talk with me then as I was emotionally weak or a little depressed. From that day, I never tried explaining my situation to my present friends as I am afraid they would desert me too.

That is why I try to keep myself occupied with other work so that I don’t feel lonely anymore. I had some phases of loneliness and little depression during the pandemic. But I overcame this phase because of online volunteering. I kept myself busy, found new friends with the same interests, and contributed to society too. TWE gave me a community where I feel supported and a feeling of belonging. I think being a part of TWE made me a better person and increased my confidence too.

Here are some tips to deal with loneliness-

You should know yourself first. Get to know your thinking, what you love or hate, opinions, and your passion. This can be done by journaling regularly, some activities regarding self-realization or by meditation. This can develop your self-esteem and self-confidence which will play a significant role in our relationship with others.
Try new hobbies or find your passion. These can be a great distraction if you ever think you are feeling lonely.
Try to go outside to a public place so that you meet new friends. This can be out of your comfort zone, but it will surely benefit you in a way.
Try to know your friends or family members and figure out how you can develop a closer bond with them.
Try to engross yourself in work or entertainment. It can be studying or any other hobbies. I dealt with loneliness in school by studying and at home by having crochet or reading books as my hobby.
Connect with people having similar interests or hobbies. You can join a virtual community group too and it may help you feel less lonely. I have found some Science discord servers and I feel great sharing my thoughts and interests there.

And last but not least, you can join virtual volunteering! It will improve your skills, increase your self-confidence and you can learn new skills like time management, communication or team cooperation.

Anindita

(She/Her)
Anindita writers to support those around her and hopes her articles bring you the information you need.

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Those feelings of loneliness

1/4/2022

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Everyone feels lonely at some point, it’s a deep-rooted feeling that bubbles to the surface whenever you feel the teeny-tiniest bit down, which can be annoying however, there are explanations for this and ways to help manage.

There are a few reasons as to why people feel lonely and after doing some research, I found that there are 5 main reasons to people feeling lonely:

You are the kind of person who prefers closeness in a relationship and when you don’t have this you tend to feel alone.
You are an introvert and you may find socialising tiring and scary, meaning you are left alone quite often and tend to feel lonely.
You prefer quality over quantity, meaning you would rather have one close, important relationship instead of a bunch of average friendships.
You keep yourself and your secrets locked away, this means people can’t form any close, personal relationships with others, leaving you feeling alone.
You spend a lot of time on social media, no this isn’t online shaming, it just means you shut yourself out from the world outside your door. Updates from friends hanging out together without you can be upsetting and really make you feel lonely.

Here are my personal tips to feel better when I’m feeling lonely:

Read a book. This may not essentially be helping you in the long run, but if you are someone who only feels lonely for small periods of time, reading a book and transporting into that world of adventure could really help you. It allows you to escape reality, even if it is only for a little bit. My favourite books to read The Mortal instruments series because there are so many of them and they are jam-packed full of adventure and amazing storylines.
Call up a family member, have a little chat with your nan! It will give you something to do, makes you feel less lonely and will surely make them feel loved! A win-win situation! I have a close relationship with my cousin and in the past her and I have hung out together, went shopping or even snapchatted each other ugly selfies.
Write something down. This can be anything, write a story, write a poem, write in your diary, even apply to write for our website! If it's helping you feel less lonely it's working! I like to write fake articles for our website, I may not necessarily end up posting them but even just writing them down and expressing how I feel can be really beneficial.
Make internet friends. I know they aren't nearby and you can't physically touch them but sometimes just dropping your best online friend a message and having a chat can make you feel so much better. You can make these through Facebook Groups, Twitter accounts or even Instagram. Some of my closest online friends I have made through an Ariana Grande stan account on twitter and it is one of my favourite places to go when I am feeling down because there is always someone online to talk to who can make me feel better.
Invite a friend over to watch a movie. If you dropped your friends a message to come over and watch a movie with you because you’re feeling lonely, at least one of them should come around. I know I would have at least of my 2 friends who would drop what they are doing to come over and spend time with me.

I hope my research and personal ways of tackling loneliness are of some use to you, loneliness can be one of the worst feelings and if push comes to shove, I'm your friend and you can always message me for a quick or long chat. You can find me on Instagram or twitter @em_taylorxox.

Emily

(She/They)
Emily is the founder of TWE. Her articles are based on her experience during high school. She hopes her articles help in some way.

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TEENAGERS WITH EXPERIENCE

dealing with my loneliness

Anindita

Those feelings of loneliness

Emily

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