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By Jazz Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) affects, on average, 1 in 10 people.
That’s an insanely high number when you think about it and yet, there isn’t a lot of awareness or support for people that have the illness. It’s extremely difficult to get a diagnosis (on average, about a year) and once you have the diagnosis, getting treatment is a whole other battle in itself. PCOS throws all kinds of challenges at everyday life; constant pain, excess body hair, problems with weight and infertility. That’s only the physical side of things too - studies have found that people who suffer from it are also more likely to be diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression. Having a brief understanding of it is quite literally the tip of the iceberg and as someone who was diagnosed with it a little under three years ago, I’m still learning about it everyday through my own research, but especially my own experiences. Understanding the symptoms was the first step for me. Some of them seem very random, and completely unrelated to each other, but it’s important to be aware of them. Of course, these differ from person to person - some might show all of these, and some people might show none at all - but on a general level, these are the most common ones:
I first went to the doctors for irregular periods. I’d always had painful ones - missing a lot of school, uni and work because of them, and struggling to even move from bed some days - but I wrote this off as normal. That’s the one thing I suggest not doing. I cannot stress that it is literally not normal to have periods so painful that they incapacitate you. That’s something people don’t talk about enough! I learnt that the hard way, and the doctor was surprised that I’d waited so long to get help. My periods became more irregular when I was around 18, although they hadn’t been very reliable before that. I was a little confused about some of the questions they were asking me - especially regarding excess weight in my lower stomach and extra body hair. I just remember thinking how do they know? Retrospectively, if I had just Googled all these things then I probably could have been diagnosed a few years earlier but maybe I can blame that on the lack of awareness. This was in early 2021, still at the height of the pandemic, so a lot of my appointments were video calls and over the phone. It was a strange process but I went through almost all the usual stages that someone would have done in “normal” times:
I didn’t have an ultrasound in my case, because my blood/hormone tests and presence of physical symptoms were enough criteria for a diagnosis. On the whole, it took about 14 months for all this, though the estimate for diagnosis will have gone down since the pandemic is over. Because I’m so young, no major courses of treatment were recommended. In fact, they could not have given me more general advice: eat healthy, do exercise and drink less. Basically the three things that are recommended by every health magazine, doctor and lifestyle influencer ever. I learnt my own ways of coping over the last three years. I’m lucky that in my case, my symptoms are usually only really bad when I’m on my period but there is stuff I do 24/7 to alleviate them too. One of the best things I’ve done is go on the mini pill (A.K.A the progesterone only pill); this doesn’t necessarily change my periods, but it does regulate them. This means I can plan ahead for when I know my period is due and can at least be prepared for the pain. I also got prescription painkillers that are a little stronger than over the counter medicine; my doctor specifically gave me mefenamic acid and it’s been the only thing that’s done a little more than just taking the edge off my pains. I do try to exercise and eat well, but I’m only human. I get lazy and I like takeaways and annoyingly, these especially apply when I’m on my period, but I would rather give into my cravings than force myself to the gym or to eat greens when I don’t want to. I’m still learning how to manage the symptoms and I’m seeking treatment that’s a little longer term, like having my cysts taken out via medical procedure and hopefully getting new medication. Long story short, you can live a normal life with PCOS. It is occasionally a little painful and annoying, but the main thing is to speak to someone about it. Suffering in silence because you think your horribly painful periods are normal will only make them worse in the long run.
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By Tabitha I always find myself wanting to do more. I never think it's enough. Everyone around me is doing so well, why aren't I? I challenge myself with new activities, jobs and subjects to learn every day so I can be experienced in as many things as possible but then I start to compare myself against those who are doing so well at everything that they are versatile at. What is it that I need to do to get to their level?
Hustle culture is the idea of overworking to the point it becomes a lifestyle. They romanticise no breaks, always finding a way to be productive and make money. Each day you’re exerting yourself and having no time for personal breaks. This is often seen on a lot of “motivational” reels or TikToks that you must always find yourself having to do something productive or you’re not progressing at all. It makes those who decide to have a break or time for themselves look bad, and those who are constantly reading, finding another way to make money or working as the ideal person. I live through hustle culture on a regular basis. At my age, I've seen so many successful people and businesses that ultimately encourage me but sometimes I overdo it. Currently, I work three different jobs, do an internship, volunteer, self-study, and have my own business. As much as it sounds amazing that I am able to do these many things, the truth is, I am struggling to keep up with everything that I’m doing. In my gap year, I wanted to maximise my potential and improve myself as much as possible with as many experiences as I could. Therefore, I outlined what was important to me and where to focus my time. I told myself that I wanted to get an internship to keep me focused on finishing my degree, experience within production design as that was the career path I wanted to follow, and continue to self-study so I could keep my skills and knowledge up for when I return back to university, have a sustainable source of income and focus on my business. I saw that it was a lot but I was confident that I could achieve all these things in my gap year. However, I got so obsessed with getting all these opportunities that I was afraid I would never get them again, so I just continued to add more to my plate to the point I would have constant breakdowns or struggle to get things done in time. Hustle culture never looks at the struggles you face while getting to where you want to be. Only the benefits you reap. This lifestyle isn't for everyone. It leads to breakdowns, encourages the quantity over quality mindset and makes young people believe that just hard work will equal success. There's nothing wrong with wanting to take on multiple roles, activities or even hobbies. However, if you do, you must remember to take time for yourself, focusing on your mental and physical health. Make sure you always incorporate some type of wind downtime so you don't get caught up in the chaos of overloading yourself. If work or school is demanding a lot from you, try to prioritise each task and let them know that you may not be able to complete it to your best quality or you may need more time. If you're struggling, ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Don't suffer on your own. Here are my three tips for surviving hustle culture:
Although I am still caught up in the hustle culture mindset, I'm working on better organising my time and prioritising my jobs so that I can have time to rest and focus on my mental health. I’ve actually managed to do everything that I sought to do in my gap year and I’m learning how to balance it. Some people thrive in high-stress situations where they are put under a lot of pressure from all the work they undertake, and others find it difficult to juggle. Find the perfect work/life balance for you. You don't need social media to validate whether what you're doing is enough. Just take it at your own pace and challenge yourself when you feel ready. By Anindita “Why should we know the anatomy of the opposite gender?” “Periods, sex, birth control, the reproductive system, etc. are so disgusting to talk about.” As much as we may believe this, it just isn’t true. Both reproductive health, issues and sex are a natural result of being human.
In my opinion, parents or family should be the first to introduce sex education to children before they enter puberty. They should also be taught to express their curiosity about sex education too and talk about it with anyone without any hesitation. Unfortunately, not all parents or family members quite do the opposite. For instance, my mom taught me not to talk about periods or other female reproductive health concerns with my father or brother. She also reminded me that “these are female talks and should be secretive.” She never talked about reproductive issues with me because she felt it was unnecessary. I learned about sexuality, periods and other reproductive issues from my friends at school. They used to talk about them freely. I used to wonder how they talked about such secretive issues openly. Eventually, I realized that these are not secret topics but rather human nature. We have a chapter about sex education in our biology books for Class 12 (Year 12, Grade 12), but our teachers always skip that chapter. One day, my friends and I decided to read that chapter and we wondered why our teachers skipped such an important lesson. From this experience of my life, I believe that we should talk about not only our reproductive system but also those of the opposite sex, too. Doing so may be beneficial to somebody who doesn’t understand he/she/they may have any reproductive diseases or causes for concern. Now, here are some additional reasons as to why we should normalize sexual education:
How sex education should be taught, in my opinion,
If sex education is discussed openly, I believe children will feel less awkward about exploring their curiosity in ways other than performance. Should they be in their teenage years, they can also learn from others’ experiences. In conclusion, we should treat sexuality as both normal and a natural part of human development. Children should be taught about sex education in a non-bias manner before they learn about misinformation, bias opinions and myths from false sources. Some book recommendations for sex education: 1. It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie Harris 2. S.E.X. by Heather Corinna 3. For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio Some useful websites 1.https://www.scarleteen.com/ 2.https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/ By Lauren C The standard way of thinking about fitness is that being classified as “fit” means you work out regularly and most likely look a certain way. Although I should know better by now, I cannot help thinking that fitness has a certain image to it. I dread saying I’m into fitness in fear of someone scanning their eyes up and down my body and doubting my statement. However, after gradual realizations, I’ve come to the terms with the word “fitness.”
I have always been a deep thinker and I continually question core beliefs I have about anything and everything. Why do I have this image of what fitness is? What does the word “fitness” even mean? Google says: “the condition of being physically fit and healthy.” What is considered physically fit? What factors determine if someone is healthy? There are no universal standards or qualifications to make someone “fit.” The term is an abstract idea that is relative. Google also says fitness is “the quality of being suitable to fulfill a particular role or task.” A marathon runner is fit; they have mastered how to run a marathon and can perform that task. An Olympic weightlifter is not fit at running marathons--does this mean they are not fit? Of course not. If you have a job, you were chosen for that position because your employer believed you were the right person to take on those tasks. You are fit in regards to your job requirements. Fitness applies to everyone. Hopefully I have demystified the term “fitness” and made it less intimidating. Now that I have established the concept as subjective and not a universal condition, let’s talk about physical fitness. Physical fitness is just as relative as the term fitness. There are no requirements or standards for what makes someone fit. Someone who runs 2 miles a week or someone who does yoga every day or someone who is an Olympian are all physically fit. It all depends on the person and their circumstances; fitness is unique to everyone. Going to the gym may seem like the only way to “get fit.” This is a belief that many people hold--I used to be one of them as well. There are so many options to be physical and move your body that it is unfair to squeeze fitness into one small box. There is weightlifting, tai chi, martial arts, running, cycling, walking, stretching, HIIT, strength training, yoga, balance training, plyometrics, gymnastics, dance, etc. The limits are endless and there is something for everyone. Do not force yourself to do something you do not like, there are so many options that you are bound to find something you’ll love. The goal is movement. Any kind of movement can be medicine for the body and the mind if done correctly. You should look forward to your fitness. It should be a break from your day and allow you to focus on you, and just you. Whether you are big, small, able, disabled, light, dark, tall, short, old, young, or anything in between, fitness is for you. Fitness is for everyone. By Madeline Hey Future,
It feels a little odd thinking about you as something that I can write, address, and send a letter to, but I think it may help. It can feel like you’re this distant intangible thing at times but then at others, it can feel like you’re rushing toward me at full speed with no way to stop you. So, yeah, maybe imagining you as a person or at least a solid, tangible thing may help. I have high hopes for you, Future. I like to think that you’ll be good, full of enough highs to balance out the lows that will no doubt occur. The end of one era of my life is ending soon, so naturally, I’m in one of those phases where it feels like you’re hurtling toward me with no brakes. Like every day feels almost like I’m in a tunnel being blasted by a strong wind threatening to whisk me away from everything I know. You seem so close lately too like I could reach out and snag a piece of you. I’m ready for what’s in store for me, Future, but at the same time, I want to make sure that I don’t forget about Present. The Here and Now. I don’t want to get too caught up in you that I miss out on what’s around me right now. I’m excited for my future, Future. But don’t come too fast. Let me live in the Now, taking pictures and having laughs, eating good food, and making memories that I’ll be able to look back on when the Now becomes the Then. I’m excited for you, Future. But slow down a little and let me savor the last few bits of everything. By Sophie Have you ever wondered whether it’s possible to study hard and still enjoy nights out? Have you ever wished to have more than 24 hours a day to achieve everything you wanted to? Well, the key is to organize yourself.
Balance is the key in life whether this is in your personal or professional life. Some students may find school or university workload overwhelming when combining it with other activities. However, if you plan your tasks in advance and organize yourself, everything will seem more doable and less stressful. It seems like you have to choose between either studying or enjoying life; however, this is not the case. Planning your days can help you feel more in control and can help you stay on top of tasks. By planning, I don’t mean following a strict hourly schedule – however, if that can be useful to you then go for it! Here are some tips on how to plan your day:
I was never a to-do list type of girl but I must admit they are useful and I would give them a 9/10.
However, this year, I bought a nice planner and actually use it! I find the monthly planner more convenient as I have an overview of the month. So, since I only use the monthly calendar, I would give a 6.5/10 to planners in general.
I don’t write down my weekly schedule as I don’t have any classes that I absolutely have to attend at a certain time. Even though I do have extra-curricular activities, there are only 2 of them per week and I remember when they are, so I would give weekly schedules a 4/10. However, if I had more classes that I have to attend on Zoom or physically (instead of viewing the recordings of the lectures), then I would find schedules a lot more useful. Since primary, I have had extra-curricular activities, such as swimming, theatre, singing, and managed to balance school and fun – but doesn’t any child know how to balance these two? My mom used to organize everything for me and my only job was to attend the activities, so it wasn’t complicated. However, as I grew up, I had to learn to become responsible and plan everything by myself. Therefore, to avoid wasting my time, I searched bus schedules beforehand and planned my time wisely between activities. For instance, I go to the bus stop around five minutes before the bus arrives and between extracurricular activities, I bring some light work (e.g., highlighting notes, reading a paper, memorizing a text, etc.) as I usually won’t be as focused as if I were at home. These past few years, I’ve also been watching studytubers such as Holly Gabrielle, UnJaded Jade, and Jack Edwards – their channels talk about productivity but also all sorts of other subjects that you might find interesting! Here’s an example of a typical day of mine:
“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned” – Benjamin Franklin So, if you ever feel overwhelmed, you should know that you’re not alone. Take a step back to breathe and relax before you feel ready to go back to work. Also, to avoid burnouts, try planning your days in advance, take breaks, see friends and don’t forget to take care of yourself. By NJ So I just did a quick google (well bing but like, Google sounds better.) search and found that the internet was exploding with articles and videos on how to do this (I was really hoping this might be at least a semi-original Idea but okay I guess.). I mean we all know that feeling when you are ready to go to bed but then you are on the very verge of succumbing to sleep and then some memory about how you yelled at Steven in the school hallway dramatically as a 10 year old pops up into your mind and then you can’t sleep. It's mortifying and makes you wanna dig a hole and bury yourself.
Well I am what the French would call dramatique. Well actually it's just the word dramatic in french so I could also say - I am what the Germans would call dramatisch - but that doesn’t sound quite as dramatic. Cool? Ok. But anyhow, I have always been a little hyperactive and often act without thinking. So I can write a six part book series about my embarrassing memories and there would still be some left. All of this results in me often getting lost in my own head but then remembering something so horrific that I am thrown back into reality. It will take hours for me to stop cringing at myself. It is the actual worst. And ofcourse, me being me, I will re-play that memory in my head for the next week, picking apart every little detail until I can play out that scene in my head perfectly. Why? I have no clue. I don’t have a time machine and I absolutely cannot reverse this moment in time but my mind feels the need to do this. I have a theory that this is born more out of a need to make sure that I didn’t humiliate myself thoroughly as opposed to my mind being so traumatized by something that it finds the need to replay it in order to process it. But this becomes a problem when that's all your mind can focus on. I have lost weeks of my life simply because of some memory I couldn’t put to rest. At first I just sort of tried to ignore it. I mean what else could I do. It was in the past and there was nothing I could do. But as most of you could already guess, that just made it worse. I still have this problem mind you, but there are these brief moments of clarity I have sometimes where my mind completely accepts whatever embarrassing memory I have dug and just goes “Oh well. Whatever it was, it's a done deal. So just move on.”. I feel this odd feeling of comfort and happiness spread through me. It's one of those moments of unconditional acceptance of oneself that makes you happy. But over time I have found ways to induce that sense of acceptance rather than wait for it. Everyone has done dumb things - Yep. We all have. No one, no matter how suave, can claim to have been born perfect. We have all done things that we would like to erase from memory. People pay far less attention to their surroundings than they should - We see and experience a million things on a daily basis but we often retain only a fraction of it. This means no one actually saw that embarrassing thing you think they saw you do. And even if they did, they will forget it within minutes. We are all the protagonists in our own story so we don’t actually see and retain everything that everyone else does around us. People see what they want to see - Going to competitions involving speaking and a LOT of people has some perks. One being that you are around a lot of people who you have never met. However, it's a valuable opportunity to learn to give off the confident vibe. People naturally cluster around people who are confident. Even if they don’t actually make any sense. I have presented things and made a painfully dumb mistakes like reading a word wrong or stumbling. Did I die of mortification inside? Yeah. But did I shrug it off later on and pretend as if everything is ok? Absolutely. Thing is if you are self assured, people won’t actually fight against you too much. Bullying is a completely different thing. But as far as jokes and people bringing up embarrassing memories go, if you appear indifferent (even if you aren’t) people won’t try to embarrass you. They’ll back off. Honestly...it's fine to do dumb things - Seriously though it’s perfectly fine to do stupid things no matter how old you are (within reason that is….stupid and dangerous is not a great mix). Having a light hearted attitude towards life is often something that is incredibly useful. Being comfortable in your own skin is the first step to being confident. So breathe. It's fine. You're doing great. Basically the takeaway is that things don’t actually matter as much as we think they do. Be your own self and if people tell you that you are too immature or carefree, well too bad because that's their opinion. And people’s opinions are not a standard you are expected to meet. By Camille Menstruation. Even writing down the scientific name for periods never fails to invoke painful memories of my last cycle. I wrote this article to educate both sides: anyone with periods, and anyone without any. Anybody with a uterus will tell you that bleeding down there, accompanied with cramping is not a fun ordeal. Menstruation occurs once a month, and normally lasts from three to seven days. Before I get into how to deal with cramps, let’s talk about why we even have our period.
The reason people with uteruses deal with the curse is because every month, our bodies prepare ourselves for pregnancy. If pregnancy does not occur, then our uterus sheds its lining which is where the blood comes from. But hey, at least you can dance because you are not pregnant. How can we stop the curse? Get pregnant or go through menopause. While you may not have a period throughout the duration of your pregnancy, having a child is a big responsibility, and on top of that, the first period after birth is absolutely horrid. As for menopause, you cannot force that upon yourself, that comes with age. I suggest constantly changing your pad, so you do not feel icky down there, and there are methods that supposedly cause your period to end faster. Essentially not having a period will bring other consequences. Another big thing that comes from periods are hormones. The hormone changes that accompany the menstrual cycles typically indicates to other people that we are on our period. When our emotions change and they influence us heavily, people label that as “PMS-ing”. PMS stands for premenstrual syndrome, and the biggest symptom is irritability. The PMS cycle is caused through changes in three hormones: estrogen, serotonin, and progesterone. Before you use PMS-ing as an insult, remember that changes in our hormones are out of our control. I unfortunately do not have any advice from this one because my emotions take a big hit when it is that time of the month. As if bleeding through the most intimate part of our body and hormone changes are not enough, cramps make themselves well known during menstruation. Cramps can range from mild to severe and are typical indicators for most people for when they start bleeding. During the menstruation cycle your uterus is contracting to help shed its lining. When the uterus is contracting, it releases a compound known as prostaglandins, when you have an excess of these compounds, cramps can occur. Personally, birth control has been a big help since it can help you have less periods per year, and cramps do not occur as often and severely. For the people who do not suffer from periods but buy period products for loved ones, brand and type matter. After experiencing menstruation for years, people with vaginas learn about which period product works well for their body. There are a lot of brands and types to choose from: diva cups, tampons, pads, etc. So, before you complain or chastise someone about their preferences, you need to realize that they are only asking for what is making them comfortable. Personally, I find thin pads to be the best for myself because they feel as though they are not there. But make sure to experiment to find the most comfortable products. As someone with a vagina, I totally get the struggle of menstruation. We are stuck dealing with it for years before we are thrown into the throes of menopause. On top of the advice I have sprinkled throughout this article, I have included some websites that help alleviate the stress and pain that comes with periods. Whilst these articles are good for reference, they unfortunately do not sponsor TWE.
As people with vaginas grow older and go through puberty, we have to deal with menstruation. As explained above, menstruation is accompanied with vaginal bleeding, premenstrual syndrome, and cramps. So, for anyone that does not suffer through periods, please refrain from commenting on our complaints because this is something we go through 12 times a year. And for anyone that does suffer from periods, please take care of yourself and watch out for any abnormalities. Periods are not easy, and I commend every single person who combats it while continuing to live their life. By Lana Do you ever imagine that you are on an adventure, exploring life as if it was a single-player game? Oftentimes, the opportunity to have quality time with yourself to explore is refreshing. Self-exploration allows the chance for you to see how you fit yourself in your surroundings and grow from it. While it is a source of independence, we all are preoccupied with duties and responsibilities in our everyday lives making it easy to not prioritize any time for ourselves. Yet, being able to set time aside for your enjoyment can be incredibly fulfilling, especially during times of stress.
I’ve had my fair share of times where I was too focused on school that it felt like a torturous cycle, and I did not know how to escape it. Whenever I looked at my workload and was only focusing on it, doing my tasks felt like a chore. It prolonged to a point where I did not recognize myself - I did not look forward to anything exciting, nor did I feel as if I was mentally and emotionally growing as an individual. It seems difficult to realize this especially when you naturally begin to compare yourself to others, where their goals seem drastically difficult from yours. However, there is no such thing as it being too late to discover yourself. The idea of reflecting on who you are can be done by prioritizing quality time with yourself, particularly by doing what you enjoy. Here are some starters and ideas on what you can do: Block out your days Make some space within your days to have time to rest! These “time slots” should go beyond the bare necessities of taking care of yourself (such as eating or showering). Even if you have a busy schedule, it is good to make boundaries on when you should start doing what brings you enjoyment! For instance, maybe you can say that the time between supper and bedtime will be when you can destress and enjoy a show or do your hobby. This helps you rest your mind while enjoying time by yourself. Interact with the environment Whenever I feel stressed or gloomy, I like to take spontaneous walks to calm myself down. Being outside feels liberating, where it makes me feel like I am not trapped in a box. Having this opportunity allows you to ease up your mind, and also sort your thoughts and priorities when you have to go back to the “real world.” You can also find enjoyment out of it! I like to ride my bike, but you can also observe plants or take long walks. You can also track your movement, so you feel as if you did something on that particular day. Try out some hobbies that encourage imagination There are numerous hobbies that allow you to be imaginative. Whether it is doing an arts and crafts project, taking pictures, or reading, having a hobby allows you to find the things that you enjoy. I would personally consider cooking as a good hobby because it allows you to be resourceful yet imaginative through the ingredients you are able to gather to make a meal. It is also beneficial, as it helps you develop good lifeskills as well. Take personalized quizzes I like to take certain quizzes or personality tests to help me understand who I am at the bare minimum. Particular tests, especially the Myers-Briggs test, allow me to reflect on questions that are based on my experiences, morals, and beliefs in order to gather information on what personality type I am best suited for. It brings up topics that you would usually overlook and not think about when you try to reflect on who you are as a person. I believe that this is good for self-discovery by being used as a good starting point on how you would want to approach the world. Here is the link if you are interested in taking it: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test Overall, the journey of independence and self-discovery is a long one. Don’t feel compelled to completely figure out who you are over the next few months, as discovering yourself is based on the circumstances you experience throughout your whole lifetime. The tips I provided may just be ideas on brainstorming the idea of who you are, as I’ve certainly dealt with the question myself. I hope that these tips may help you! By Jade Piano’s kind of a funky thing, if I’m going to be honest. It requires a lot of practice, but practicing the wrong way can lead to irreversibly awful habits. Making a fingering error and practicing that same error for even a few days can result in a terrible habit that makes your fingers stumble over each other, time after time. After playing the piano for about 11 ½ years, here are some tips that I’ve found useful.
Playing the piano is a genuinely enjoyable hobby, but I find that it's a hobby that requires plenty of time and effort. I feel like piano’s often perceived as cumbersome and lame. I disagree with that; piano can help us express our emotions and the success of mastering a piece is always delightful. By Lana How do you differentiate the qualities of realism and pessimism in life? I tend to have the habit of grouping these two together, which led me to downplay my successes whenever they occurred. Whenever I failed a test, I couldn’t see how I had the opportunity to review the content, bond with my teacher and peers, and ultimately establish a long-term studying plan in order for me to succeed in the upcoming exams. I knew that I was predisposed to being pessimistic because that was all I knew of. The stress and anxiety were more so instinctual, that I believed that it was my norm. Thus, by ultimately accepting pessimism as my reality, I failed to open up to the silver linings that were set in place.
A silver lining is when a bad circumstance has a positive prospect. It promotes optimism by acknowledging, rather than disregarding, a dire and incredibly tough occurrence and how it may lead to a positive result. You usually hear this term through the phrase “every cloud has a silver lining,” which equates a cloud to a gloomy turmoil that we may experience. Understandably, it seems incredibly difficult to be “more” optimistic. Everyone is conditioned to perceive and react to their challenges differently, and I and many others cannot simply turn off their pessimism switch while turning on their optimism. Throughout my life, characterizing myself as a pessimistic individual had impacted my overall morale. While I believed that I was living a realistic lifestyle by not favoring idealism and hope, I completely disregarded my own ability to reap the benefits of my given situation. My superstitious self believed that having a positive mindset and expecting a positive situation would ultimately lead me to experience the opposite. For instance, every time that I completed an assignment and felt as if I did not do my best, I automatically described myself as a failure. If I made a speech and stuttered through my words and sentences, I would continuously overanalyze and belittle my speaking abilities. These examples, and many others, were a collection of circumstances that waned my confidence. I simply felt unconfident toward myself and my choices, which reinforced my low self-esteem. With this realization, I was willing to redefine my perspective to integrate optimism through silver linings. These were the steps that encouraged this new viewpoint and enhanced my enjoyment of life: 1. Apply cognitive reappraisal Cognitive reappraisal is a mental strategy that allows a person to analyze their negative circumstances and cope with the outcome by evaluating their emotions. The negative event is a motivation factor for me to make improvements. This was evident throughout my teenage years when I would have constant breakdowns due to trying to balance my family, social, and academic life. In the context where my life seemed uncontrollable, I tried to tweak my emotions to simulate temporary happiness by viewing the greater context. Some attempts for me to look at a different perspective included:
At times, acknowledging silver linings may be exhausting when it simply feels unrealistic or too much of a difficult task. However, I chose to stick with one main task throughout the past two years that had lessened my stress tremendously - to take one day at a time and patiently deal with my conflicts gradually. This was one simple, yet incredibly impactful, goal that allowed me to bring optimism into my life. Whenever I was filled with anxiety, I had to put myself in a mentality that envisioned my life through a long-term perspective. Not overanalyzing every single wrongdoing that I did every day ultimately put less pressure on myself and my expectations. It also allowed me to develop my goal and refine it if it was needed. 3. Look back at your positive outcomes Usually, whenever I feel like I am stuck in an overwhelming conflict, I tend to look back at the circumstances where I felt as if I succeeded by looking at silver linings. For example, I tend to think about how I was able to increase my overall grade in a class by three letters over a span of three months. While it took perseverance and patience to achieve it, this was a lesson that would encourage me to truly appreciate the optimism associated with silver linings. As of this moment, I continue to acknowledge silver linings. While this may seem like an idealistic concept and may not work out for everyone, I encourage you to set up your own goals and act it out at your own pace. Acknowledging your minor achievements during your darkest times, even if it is as simple as drinking water or brushing your teeth, is worth a self-applause. Integrating small bits of optimism within my life has helped me look forward to battling my difficult circumstances. Everyone has a silver lining to look forward to, and I hope that it helps you as it did for myself! By Jade With summer on the horizon, summer camps aren’t really much of an option for many teenagers before. I remember being that awkward teen at basketball camp, the oldest kid there. Despite the camp being for ages 7-18, teenagers clearly weren’t the exact audience for camp.
The teenage years represent the last few years of your childhood; how will you make the best of it? While some families have pre-planned summer vacations, many families don’t. Although schools expect that many people go on vacation during the summer, the kids who don’t go, often feel left out. I remember the times I’ve had to write essays about my summer vacation. I didn’t have much to put and it was rather difficult to write the essay. Here are three creative things to do during the summer. 1. Acquire an internship. For the academically motivated or those who are interested in learning more about white-collar jobs, you may be interested in an internship. Internships give you a small picture of how a certain career works. However, internships can be difficult to find. When I acquired my first internship, I used LinkedIn, a platform used by many people to find jobs. On LinkedIn, I set job alerts for jobs that had key words such as ‘high school intern’. For those looking for STEM-related internships, the John Hopkins Center for Talented Youth’s Science Internship page is extremely helpful. Although most high school internships are unpaid, these internships can teach you more about the work environment, while providing a key perspective on the career of your desire. 2. Apply for a part-time job. Applying for a part-time job has many benefits. Many teenagers tend to choose this option during summer to provide themselves with valuable work experience. Part-time jobs can vary from working as a babysitter or cashier at the local supermarket. 3. Explore your passions. Being a teenager might make you realize that the last summers of your childhood are slowly fading away. While you have the time, explore your passions. During the 2020 summer, my activities were greatly limited due to the coronavirus pandemic. However, this provided me with the unique experience of rediscovering my passion for biking. For me, biking was a great way to explore and discover new places. Biking also taught me new navigational skills as well. Although summer only lasts for three months, it’s important to savour the time you have left. Find something productive and fun to do! By Anna K Perfectionism is an obsession with perfecting everything about oneself, one’s surroundings, one’s perceived world, all down to the very fine details. Many teenagers identify with being a ‘perfectionist’, whether it be pertaining to their schoolwork or a sport they play. However, perfectionism manifests itself in other ways when unknowingly taken to an extreme level. At this age, with all the pressure to seek out our identity, passions, and career paths, teenagers are especially prone to perfectionism and the dark turns it can take. Although striving to succeed is healthy, where does one draw the line between motivation and obsession?
Throughout my life, I had never identified with the seemingly admirable trait of being a perfectionist; I believed it to be a perpetuation of society’s toxic, obsessively hard-working culture. Having attended an extremely academically oriented high school, I was not new to witnessing the overworking and self-harm that could result from a restless pursuit of perfection. However, entering my junior year, where academic success is held to such importance, I began to internalize this all-or-nothing mindset; I began to think that if I was not receiving the perfect grades, not living the most productive lifestyle, that I was a failure. Oblivious to the instability and constant burnout that resulted from my behaviors, my perfectionism quickly manifested itself into a far deeper issue. It started with calorie counting, then evolved into over-exercising, then a cycle of binging and purging, and I quickly found myself in a desperate effort to control how I looked in order to mold myself into the ‘perfect’ person. My eating disorder was an attempt at control; a physical representation of my capability to ‘perfect’ myself. Aside from the medical implications of what had begun with a desire to ‘improve’ myself, what was most unbearable when it came to my obsession was my consistently-inconsistent self esteem. This illusive sense of self-worth that is obtained from perfectionism, ranging from receiving straight-As to being ‘successful’ at disordered eating, is ultimately unsustainable. The unsustainability of self-esteem is what drives perfectionists to farther lengths, damaging themselves in the process only to end up unsatisfied, and once again chasing. The harm caused by perfectionism roots from one’s self esteem relying entirely on the validation of external factors that in the end will never be ‘perfect’ or stable. Contrary to what’s normally associated with perfectionism, such as academic success, a sense of control is precisely what perfectionists strive for. Rather than simply dismissing yourself as a ‘perfectionist’ when you are extremely stressed about your report card, or even your weight, be critical and think deeply when it comes to your desires. What does having good grades or the ‘ideal’ body truly allow you to gain other than a second-long deception of self-fulfillment? Ultimately, perfection is a subjective term; it means different things to different people. To one person it may mean having a body type that, to the next person, is far from the body type they idealize. This applies to career, lifestyle, grades, and the list goes on. With this in mind, I encourage you all to question who you are trying to please when you overwork yourself to look a certain way or to achieve a certain thing. If the answer isn’t yourself, it is not worth it. Perfection is unattainable, and its definition is ever-changing. By Arya Growing up is something that everyone has to go through and deal with. Though at times it may not be extremely enjoyable, it is a part of life and many good lessons come with it. However, so many responsibilities come with growing up, some of them may be fun responsibilities, and others – well, not so much.
I would say that my favorite thing about growing up, or at least turning 16, is that I was able to get my driver’s license. Getting my license was an extremely exciting step for me because it allowed me to gain so much more freedom. Now, because I have my license, I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, well of course with my parent’s permission. Being able to have the freedom to go places alone and just do what I want has truly been amazing and so fun. It also takes a lot of stress off my parent’s backs, knowing that they don’t have to worry about taking me anywhere anymore. However, driving comes with a lot of responsibility, like being safe and making good decisions is a huge part of driving, which has definitely been a learning experience for me. Another big responsibility that one gets at a certain age is getting a debit card. Now, although I did get my debit card a few months before I was 16, it is still something that comes with growing up. Although you don’t have to pay off a debit card every month, like a credit card, you still have to be responsible with it: making sure you have enough money in it, making sure to put money in it, spending a responsible amount of money, and making sure to still save your money. Since you control the money that comes into your debit card and not your parents, it is your responsibility to keep yourself accounted for how much you are spending and saving. Furthermore, a lot changes as you grow up, and during your high school years. For many people, we have to worry about college and getting into college. This means getting good grades, doing lots of extracurriculars, getting a good score on standardized exams, for me the ACT or SAT, and so much more. Doing all of this in just a few years means being responsible and holding yourself accountable for getting everything done. Some ways I keep everything balanced and get everything done include:
Essentially, growing up drastically changes your life, in good ways and stressful ways, but they are all important and significant events that will help you learn and grow. I am both excited and nervous to continue growing up because of all the vast unknown opportunities in life that could lead to amazing things. But remembering your responsibilities and making sure you are accountable for them is always important. By Mel Alcohol can seem like one of those things we all want to try and can’t wait to do so. But, for me, it wasn’t the case. I was more into getting out into the world traveling and having my own freedom.
But, sooner or later you get introduced to alcohol. My first drink was in London during my travels in Camden, a place called The Hawley Arms. And for my first drink, it was a classic Camden Bells pint which was pretty good! But then, after that everything changed, I lost control, and I started to drink various different drinks but mostly gins. I love fruity and strong flavors so this was perfect for me. Too perfect to the point where I would be on the floor in a pool of my own vomit. Not nice right? Well, what I didn’t realize was years from that moment it would be totally different. My friends would be no more, I would be unhealthy and above all, I wouldn’t be happy within myself. The reason I lost my friends was that throughout the years on many occasions i would get off my face and I wouldn’t be the true self that everyone loved. People would say they couldn't recognize me because I acted so differently. So then the time came one night when I managed to make it to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and really looked at myself and thought, “What am I doing to myself?” I saw a version of myself that I was horrified and ashamed of. That’s when I realized I was digging a very dark hole for myself. I was losing who I was, I was losing Mel. It’s been a long time coming but I can say I’ve been nearly a year free of alcohol, not just because of that night but because of the health conditions that came with it. I started to have seizures and they went on for many years, didn’t know what was causing them. I was tested for epilepsy but it wasn’t that. I was tested for nonepileptic seizures and the final result was defined as PNES. But of course, there was no medication for that, so I was on my own with finding a way through, what was causing these seizures how can I move on with my life without living in fear? Well, that’s when it came down to my mental health, my drinking, and the way I dealt with things. When things got dark in my mind I would turn to drink so I could block it all out for a while, then when I would sober up again I would find myself back with the alcohol. So, when I finally pinpointed how my seizures were occurring I decided to take action because I’d had enough. It wasn’t just the drinking it was a mixture of my mental health, and not having a proper diet but the drinking, didn’t help at all. Yes, today I still find it hard to make friends, and yes I still find it hard to see others going out having a good time and drinking with their friends. But in my mind, I will rather be spending my money on traveling and doing what I love other than going out every weekend to get off my face and not remembering a single thing. That’s my reason for putting a stop to my drinking. I lost a lot of people in my life, but I also met the true ones in my life too. One year on, I’m in a new job with children, and I’m still suffering from seizures, but not as frequent as they used to be. Things do change, you just got to put in the hard work. But alcohol can also be enjoyed! It’s not all doom and gloom! If you’re sensible about it, then it can be used as a sociable gathering. Invite friends, and family along to celebrate the fun times! By Ve Veganism refers to a lifestyle where one does not eat animals or animal products. One may follow this for a variety of reasons such as morals, environmental concerns, health concerns, culture or even just personal preference. My reasoning? My mother is overly competitive and wanted to compete with her sister whose family can stay vegan the longest. If everyone made it through a month, it would be a tie. Despite being vegetarian, I actually found it quite difficult to maintain a vegan diet. The first few days weren’t too bad, however by the 2nd week, my inner rat was craving cheese really badly. No, I didn’t have access to vegan cheese. No, the rat did not win as I powered through the rest of the month, fuelled only by soy milk and pure spite. While I ended up feeling much lighter and refreshed by the end of the month, sadly I don’t see myself continuing this diet in the near future. For starters, once I start university in a few months, there’s practically no way I can be vegan there. The dorms have a catering service; thankfully there are vegetarian options but no vegan, so unless I go off-campus, there’s practically no way to avoid dairy. Moreover, even if I do have the opportunity to cook my own meals, I simply can’t. I’m a kitchen hazard and although this will come back to bite me in the future, it’s a problem for future Ve. Also, I’m really lazy to make a 45-minute walk to the nearest supermarket with vegan stuff, so solid argument in my opinion. This actually leads to these next few points I’d like to share. A few tips I would give to new vegans:
In summary, don’t be guilt tripped (nor do the guilt tripping!), eat a balanced meal with emphasis on protein, familiarize yourself with vegan alternatives, and lastly, prioritize your budget and needs rather than restricting yourself. These are the basics to being vegan in my opinion. It’s a rare instance where I’d say it’s better to learn it from the book rather than learn by experience. Just a disclaimer- by no means am I a professional; this article is only meant to be a guide and I would highly suggest further research before going through a significant change! Vegan Recipes, Supplies, Further Information, and Charities: https://www.vegansociety.com/
International Mental Health Helplines: https://unitedgmh.org/mental-health-support By J.D So for at least 6 ½ years, I have gone to Comic Con. And it’s amazing! Comic Con, according to google, is an event where comic fans, creators and exhibitors go to show off their art or have fun. But it’s not just comics, it’s anything pop culture related (including but not limited to: anime, music, television/movies, books, art and cosplay).
Comic Con is also well known because of the comics that were around in the mid 20th century, such as: Marvel, DC, and Archie Comics. Since then, Comic Con is enjoyed by anime fans, Star Trek & Star Wars fans, and different pop cultures, as I stated before. But the last two Comic Cons, I haven’t been able to go because things have been crazy lately around the world. Motor City Comic Con (or MC3), is a comic convention held in my home state. It is the largest in the state (over 50,000 attendees) and ranks #8 in the United States Comic Conventions. Now every year there's different celebrities (some have been attending Comic-Con for years), different vendors, crafters and exhibitors. But the atmosphere or the location doesn't change. But this year, I went and here's a quick recap. My dad and I went there. The place was packed with lots of people in costumes and some were dressed in normal clothes. I was wearing leggings with a Sons Of Anarchy t-shirt that I had gotten the night before. My dad wore khaki shorts with a blue polo shirt. My guess is that there were over 10,000 people waiting in line. We waited in line for about an hour, chatting with this random guy until they let us in. We walked around a lot, probably walked around the whole perimeter a couple of times. When we first walked around, I saw a booth (I think it was face-painting/body art?) but then when I told my Dad about it and we walked around the second time, I couldn’t find it and I found the next big thing: a film school! The film school is a small school that started around the 1990s. Which is near this old headquarters for this semi-forgotten store chain. Film school is what I wanted to do outside of high school. What is the reason why I, J.D., wanted to do film school? Is because of the fact that I wasn’t too sure what would be a good occupation, so here’s some other reasons/a backstory why I wanted to be someone in the film/entertainment history: For a few years, I have been struggling with what I’m going to do when I’m an adult and I remembered that when I was a young kid, I dreamed of being the next Carrie Fisher or the next George Lucas or Steven Speilberg. When I was 14, however, I wanted to be like Gerard Way, but kept film school/acting in the back of my mind because I like acting and I’ve wanted to direct movies since I was a kid. And in case the whole rockstar thing fell through the cracks (which it kind of did). The film school does have some famous alumni, a few crew members worked on Captain Marvel, which is cool. I did get to see celebrities like William Shatner or Danny Trejo, but both of their lines were packed, probably to the doors of the convention (actually, that's not true. I'm just exaggerating but it was really long). The celebrity I saw is a well known guy in the Scooby Doo movies, he lost his dad when he was a baby and played Kanan Jarrus in Star Wars. Can you guess it now? If you can't, that's okay. Because his name is Freddie Prinze Jr. Now Freddie Prinze is a very hot celebrity. He is a very nice guy and actually cares for fans unlike some people we shall not name. I just took a photo with Freddie and I went on my merry way. Originally, I was going to get an autograph with him but since his line was super long for photos, he wouldn’t be signing autographs at his booth until 3. So after that my dad and I went home. It was pretty cool seeing all the celebrities and learning about the film schools and stuff. Comic Con is a very fun experience where you can meet people of different fandoms and see different things and learn something new. No matter your age, Comic Con is amazing and should be checked out when it is back in town. By Camille It’s just a sport. Or I don’t know why you’re overreacting. Those are just two sentences any sports fan does not want to hear. People who do not watch a particular sport, or watch no sports at all, may not understand why people can become frustrated when watching a team they’re rooting for. For those of you who feel a deeper connection with any sport, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone.
Now to be completely honest and transparent, if you asked me about this topic two years ago, I would never think about the deeper meaning that sports can bring to our lives. I never really watched sports (except for WWE, but I know some people don’t see that as a sport), so I never knew too much about what was going on in the sports world. Back when I started getting into football about a year ago, I had minimal knowledge of the sport. The only position I knew of was the goalkeeper, and even then I didn’t know the rules they had to follow. For those of you who do not use the term football, I am talking about soccer. As embarrassing as it is to admit it, the entire reason I even started watching football was because my favourite Twitch streamer, nmplol, started playing Fifa 21 and I immediately became hooked on the game and wanted to know more about the sport. Learning about the teams, players, and rules of football was very overwhelming-especially due to the fact that I wasn’t a fan of the sport my entire life. Even to this day, I cannot explain the rules very well on my own, but that doesn’t mean I am not a big supporter of the sport. Each time I watch a match, I try to figure out who is who so I am able to identify them the next time the team plays. Despite my lack of knowledge compared to longtime fans, football has made me feel emotions no other sport has. Football has made me feel excitement, sadness, disappointment, inspiration, irritation, and the list goes on. Upon researching multiple teams when I first started watching, I was very quick to find the team that I support the most, Paris Saint-Germain. When I first began watching football, I was at the worst place in my life mentally and emotionally. However, within these past few months, Paris Saint-Germain has brought me motivation and has helped me create a big goal for myself. After I obtain my Bachelor’s degree in America, I hope to attend a school in Paris to obtain my Master’s. I realize that will take a lot of work and effort, but it’s work and effort I’m willing to put in to be able to live in the beautiful city of Paris. Whenever I watch a PSG game, I become excited at the idea that one day I can/will live in the city that this wonderful team represents. Whenever I’m feeling low on motivation, I think of my future and what I want it to look like, and that alone is enough to help me bring back the motivation I once had. While others may have a harder time finding inspiration in their life, I find no shame in admitting that PSG has brought a phenomenal amount of inspiration to me. Football is more than a sport. You can find this out by asking any invested football fan. Football is a sport where people come together and enjoy 90+ minutes of other people kicking a ball around. While it may seem to be just that to some people, it is a sport that unites countries divided by other issues. It is a sport that motivates people to work hard for what they want. It is a sport that entertains people. It is a sport that makes people feel things. Football has already brought so much to my life, and I cannot wait for the future when I am finally in a stadium, watching the team that has helped me more than they know. The main purpose of this article was not to enlist more football fans (though that would be cool), but it is to show everyone that anything can hold a deeper meaning in life if you allow it. The simplest of things can bring so much motivation into our lives. While I talk about football specifically in this article, I encourage you guys to find something that you enjoy and create inspiration from it. This can range from sports to books to anything that you simply find joy in! “Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. By J.D CW/TW: Obsession, stalking, etc... If you like any TV show, movie, band, etc, there’s always a fandom; and with that fandom, there are some good fans and bad fans. Now let me explain everything media wise has a fandom. Anyone can be a stalker. It’s a very common thing. It’s very dangerous and can lead to fatal consequences.
Now, you may be confused, asking me “why are you asking us this?” To that question, I will tell you. My obsession was with Rosie Thomas, an indie/alternative artist from Michigan. Her brother is a teacher at my old school and on the first day of school, he said he was in a band. That band was Rosie Thomas. I researched a lot about trying to find out whether or not he’s actually telling the truth or not (he is). Then I stumbled on his Facebook, and hers too. And then I told my friends and they said that I was stalking them. I didn’t believe them at first, because well, who does? Stalking is pretty much a drug, it’s addicting, yet dangerous. It has its effects. If your obsession with someone is getting to be too much, you don’t know how to get out of the “addiction”. I’d suggest blocking them on the site and trying to limit social media. Try coping mechanisms, for example: listening to music, going outside, talking to people, etc. Let’s review, obsession and stalking are dangerous. It’s an addiction and it can lead to dangerous consequences. Addiction needs to stop. It’s unhealthy. If your obsession has led to dark thoughts, please don’t hesitate to call the local authorities or dial 1800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline).
Setting and achieving goals is crucial for a successful and meaningful life because they give direction, self-worth, and a feeling of purpose. The most fundamental strategy I employ is objectivism, an Ayn Rand-developed philosophy that emphasises the value of individualism, reason, and rational self-interest. By highlighting the ideas of productivity, reason, and moral egoism, it offers a framework for accomplishing goals.
Having a strong foundation is cardinal for a strong superstructure, and that strong foundation for achieving your goals, is objectivism. To pursue your objectives and pleasure, you must modify the principles of objectivism to fit your particular situation and set of values. We will look at some of the systems that objectivism supports, their importance, how we can apply them in our daily lives, and some real-life challenges that people are mostly facing with this error and how we can use this philosophy to overcome challenges. Firstly, you must be able to define your goals just as objectivism encourages. Consider defining your goals, making sure they align with your values, desires, and rational self-interest. This clarity saves you from chasing arbitrary or contradictory goals by helping you grasp what you want to accomplish. Secondly, practice rational thought. Apply logic and critical thinking to assess your objectives and the procedures required to reach them. Identify, evaluate, and successfully handle problems in place of making judgments based on feelings or illogical ideas. Not only that, but you can also succeed in achieving your goals by practising consistency and honesty in your activities and adhering to a code of ethics that is in line with your beliefs. Accept responsibility for your decisions and deeds, and don't hold other people responsible for your results; keep your attention on the important things and stay away from distractions. These virtues that objectivism advocates for, such as upholding moral integrity, self-responsibility, and rational self-interest, are among the other important components that will guarantee that your goals pursuit stays morally upright; hence, it is very cardinal to put these theories into practice because you will be able to identify your true ambitions and develop a strong sense of passion for them, which will increase the likelihood that you will remain dedicated and put in the necessary effort to reach them. It will also assist in making well-informed decisions that are consistent with your priorities and values, allowing you to devote your time, effort, and resources to endeavours that have personal significance. Not only that, but it also helps in decreasing the chance of expensive errors that could undermine your objectives. Upholding individualism is another approach to using objectivism to accomplish your goals. Nowadays, people are dealing with issues like social pressure, fear of rejection, and peer pressure. Instances of evident difficulties include individuals who have been significantly impacted by peer groups. To fit in with a particular group, some teenagers have given in to peer pressure and engaged in risky behaviours, such as substance abuse. Many have also faced the challenge of social media comparisons on the internet. Constant exposure to carefully curated photos and stories on social media has resulted in fear of comparison and judgement. This is so because many compare their lives to the seemingly flawless accomplishments and lives of others online and end up being discouraged from embracing their uniqueness and authenticity, resulting in making decisions that do not align with their personal goals. These experiences have discouraged many people from pursuing their individualistic aspirations, but to break free from all of these ties, people must apply objectivism by upholding individualism because when they do so, they will not only accomplish their own goals but also enrich the world with their varied experiences and viewpoints, making it a more vibrant place for everyone. Along with helping one's behaviour become more in line with who they are, this will also promote well-being and a sense of satisfaction that eventually leads to a deeper, independent sense of meaning and purpose in life. Giving it your all fervently is another essential component of reaching your objectives. Accept responsibility for your decisions and deeds, and don't hold other people responsible for your results; keep your attention on the important things, and stay away from distractions. Surround yourself with people who can offer you helpful advice that will hone your objectives and tactics. Make constructive criticism a tool that enables you to discover your blind spots and pinpoint your areas of weakness and growth by making the required adjustments. Receiving feedback from others, especially from people with greater experience or skill, can also yield insightful information that improves work quality and excellence. Lastly, keep learning, growing, protecting your property, and remaining loyal to your principles. By absorbing knowledge from others, you can enhance your abilities and adjust your objectives and strategies in light of fresh insights and encounters. Aim to accomplish your goals while adhering to your morals, respecting the rights of others, and never compromising your essential principles. In conclusion, Objectivism is key, as it provides a powerful philosophical foundation for achieving your goals. You can define and pursue meaningful goals that result in success and happiness for yourself by respecting individual rights, understanding, applying, and aligning with your logical self-interest, and embracing reason. Maintaining self-worth, productivity, and integrity are essential components of a happy journey towards your goals. Indeed, objectivism is the cornerstone and strong foundation upon which one can achieve their goals when applied. By Kenzie Losing your virginity can be a scary prospect. You don’t know what to expect, whether it will be pleasurable, whether you’ll be good at it or not and generally just what your first time is like. I know all those feelings and I hope that this article will help to quell those fears and make it slightly less daunting when the time comes.
The phrase ‘losing your virginity’ refers to a person’s first time having sex. Typically, people class sex as penis-in-vagina (PIV) penetrative sex. However, sex and virginity can mean various things to different individuals, whether it refers to oral sex (blowjobs, licking, sucking etc.) or other sexual acts. For the purposes of this article, I am going to be referring to PIV sex but I do not intend to discount anybody else’s definition of losing their virginity. The average age at which most UK individuals lose their virginity is somewhere between 16 and 18 (source: NHS Borders/Metro) but some people are younger and others are older. It all depends on the person. I lost my virginity very recently and also at an older age than the average. I was 22 years old when I first had sex. There were a few reasons why I waited until I was more mature to have sex. The first reason and arguably most important reason, is that I wasn’t ready. At first, whenever I thought of having sex, it terrified me and I really did not want to even think about it, let alone do it. The second reason was that I had never really been in a serious healthy relationship before. For me, sex is a very intimate act and I wholeheartedly bought into the cliche of not losing my virginity until I was in love. That’s not to say that I think people shouldn’t have sex until they’re in love - it’s just what felt right to me. So when I was 22 and met my,unfortunately now, ex-boyfriend and fell in love with him, I started thinking about sex. I was still very scared to begin with but, when we were about a month into the relationship, we started messing about together and I realised the thought of having sex no longer scared me. It felt natural, and safe. The first time was weird, honestly. It was a bit awkward as I had no clue what I was doing and it was slightly painful to start with I didn’t find it particularly pleasurable as I was very self conscious. I even cried afterwards. But the main thing that hit me was that I didn’t feel any different The first thing I want to highlight is that in my opinion, losing your virginity is not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. You may have heard everyone hyping up your first time and talking about breaking your hymen but honestly, it’s really not worth it. You can break your hymen by riding a horse or using a tampon - it’s nothing to do with sex. As I said, I didn’t feel any different after sex. So whilst it’s okay to be worried or nervous, don’t let the hype overwhelm you. Also, another really important thing is to not compare yourself to anybody else, and don’t think that you have to have sex just because somebody else you know did. As I mentioned, I was much older than the average age and I knew a lot of my friends had lost their virginity already. There is no correct age that you should lose your virginity though. It is all about when you feel ready and safe and when you want to have sex. Whether you’re 16 or 22 or even older, it is solely your decision and no-one else’s. Now onto some of the things to expect when you have sex for the first time.
Overall, nobody can tell you when the right time to lose your virginity is. That choice is yours and yours alone. Just make sure that you do it when you feel ready and I hope that this article helps to put some of your fears at ease and dispel any misconceptions. By Meghna In today's digital age, teenagers find themselves increasingly attached to screens, grappling with the demands of academic standards and the judgmental views of social media. Amidst this hustle and bustle, however, lies a therapeutic remedy waiting to be embraced: nature. I want to speak about the wonderful effects of nature on the human body, especially in this article.
Referencing popular media, there is always a scene where a character is furious and everyone tells them to go outside and take a breather. Why do you think that is? Because of the calming energy that nature instils into our bodies, centering our mind, helping us regain peace and see the better side. Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress levels in teenagers significantly. Whether it's a nearby park, a hiking trail, or a tranquil beach; immersing oneself in natural surroundings offers a release from the pressures of everyday life. Furthermore, the outdoors provides a natural mood and energy boost, triggering the release of endorphins and serotonin through physical activity and exposure to sunlight (receiving that vitamin D). Nature also serves as the perfect space for practising mindfulness and inner reflection, allowing teenagers to be fully present and engaged in the present moment. By observing the natural world's sights, sounds, and senses, we can create a sense of calm and inner peace. Additionally, outdoor activities provide opportunities for teenagers to bond with friends and family. Sharing experiences with others not only helps your overall mood and energy but also strengthens your relationship. Furthermore, nature offers teenagers the opportunity to face challenges caused by weather and terrain, such as climbing mountains or sailing storms. Eventually, by overcoming these challenges, teenagers develop resilience and confidence in their ability to tackle adversity, both in nature and in their daily lives. Our mental health is only declining by trapping ourselves in our room and scrolling endlessly on social media or texting others mindless memes. When we could be hanging out with the same people, not even in nature but just outside with the breeze pushing all our negativity behind us. Making you feel present only in the moment with your closest companions. So, text your friends, family, or anyone close enough in your life to go out, ice cream date, bike ride through a park, or even just a walk, your mental and emotional health will only be strengthened with your newfound interest in embracing the outdoors. Coming to terms with imperfection is a difficult task that often seems impossible. Thanks to the internet, social media, and celebrity culture, we live in a world where success, high achievement and perfection surround our daily lives in a way unparalleled in all of human history. Growing up, we are supposed to learn about ourselves and how to grow into a more mature being, but how can we do that when we are surrounded by unattainable standards and are constantly blaming ourselves for not living up to them? Ever since early childhood, I was always ahead of the curve in everything I did. I was top of my class in school, consistently excelled in dance exams and competitions (allowing me to be the youngest founding member of my dance studio’s pre-professional dance company), and quickly became one of the fastest swimmers in my swim team even though I never swam full time. I had college-level reading and writing by fifth grade, according to national standardized tests. My entire life I was constantly reminded of my potential for achievement: what I had done in the past and what I could do in the future so long as I kept working hard. I was a “gifted child” and I had no idea what to do with it. Life is a series of choices, and the opportunities missed will always be greater than the ones taken. The problem is, I always wanted to take every opportunity. I never focused on one thing at a time; I’ve always pursued multiple interests and never fully committed to one thing. That was fine for most of my life. Elementary was easy. Middle school was harder, but I decided to stop swimming and focus on ballet, and I went through those three years without anything lower than an A-. Then high school hit. Everything got harder, my mental health began to shake, and my body began to change. I kept hitting walls with ballet, unable to get more flexible or move in the way I had to. My grades started to fall as the standards for my performance in every aspect of my life grew with no sign of stopping. I kept wondering where I went wrong. I felt like I wasn’t living up to my past self; that I was letting the whole world down. I held such a high standard for myself and, when I couldn’t meet it, all I could see was the gap between me and perfection: that gap was what I perceived as failure. As my mental health deteriorated, I started to see I had completely lost focus on what matters in life and that I was beating myself up over things I could never control. I changed my life in my junior year. I decided to stop ballet at my studio and instead dance through my school and start swimming again. Overall, that gave me more time to focus on academics, less pressure for perfection in my extracurriculars, and a chance to better take care of my mental health. The difference came slowly, but it showed. The summer before my senior year, I went on a 26-day backpacking trip for my school (I went to a private school and we had some unique traditions), and halfway through I sprained my ankle. I almost went home, but I figured out how to tape my ankle in such a way as to support two more weeks of walking on it. I had to adjust: I couldn’t carry as much weight and, once we arrived at our campsites each night, I couldn’t help the way I had before. A year before I would’ve held these setbacks against myself but, instead, I remembered that my best will always look different depending on the day. I quickly found which chores I could do that would allow me to rest my ankle, and by the end of the trip some of my group mates had forgotten I was injured - not because they did not care, but because I learned how to get around it. Finding this mental acceptance is difficult, so hopefully some of the following suggestions can help:
I am a critical perfectionist by nature, so none of what I recommend comes easily to me. It’s alright to struggle, it’s alright to make mistakes, and it’s alright to mess up where in the past you’ve succeeded. We are constantly bombarded with standards that are far beyond our reach, not because we are not capable of greatness but because sometimes, we just want to live. So, do good, and live your life. -Chandler / Ina cHANDLER/INAI was named Nathaniel by my parents on the day I was born. My dad’s name is Neal and my mom wanted something that was similarly related to it but not the name in its entirety. So Nathaniel was on the table. My dad suggested the names Jack, Wyatt, and Ian. Of course, these names fell through the cracks. But the way in which they did is ultimately hysterical.
I have two older siblings, my sister being eight years older than me and my brother being six years. Both of my siblings did folklórico, which is a traditional Mexican style of dance. They would go to practice, rehearse, and then of course, perform in competitions. One of these competitions just so happened to be at the Happiest Place on Earth, Disneyland. With my mom being nine months pregnant, she went to her doctor and asked if she would be ok with going to the famous amusement park. The doctor said she was cleared and good to go. Turns out, I was the one who was good to go. My siblings performed and after they changed, my parents surprised them by spending the rest of the day at the park. They didn’t know I was planning an even bigger surprise later on (10 pounds to be exact). My mom first felt like she was going into labour when she was in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. And instead of getting out of line, she decided she was going to go on it and see how she felt after. She’s a champ. After getting off the ride, my mom knew that she was definitely going through labor and because she was with my brother and sister, she knew that if she was to panic, so would they. So she guided them over to a bench and when they sat down, my mom tried to control her laboured breathing. My dad was off trying to get fast passes for Haunted Mansion and when he got back, my mom told him that it was time to go. All while this was going on, a worker was watching my mom and had called security and notified a couple of nurses about what was going on. My mom was put in a wheelchair and had her own mini parade down ‘Main Street USA’. The worker who helped my mom out of the park, his name was Nathaniel. The nurse, who was talking to my mom about her own son, was also named Nathaniel. It seemed evident enough to my parents that that’s what I was supposed to be named. Strangers call me Nathaniel. Anyone who calls me Nathaniel isn’t close to me on a personal basis. Maybe they’re my acquaintance but even then, not a very close one. Nathaniel has zero attachment. It's the base. The neutral. The grey. Not a good or terrible connotation. It’s just... there. Nothing else left about it. Which inherently isn’t a bad thing. It’s the norm. It’s a first impression. But it’s so- Boring. My name means Gift from God. My mom had two miscarriages in-between my brother’s birth and mine. So I was her gift. Granted, I know at some points that there are definitely times where I bet she wishes she kept that receipt, but that’s what happens when you have a ‘moody teen’ in high school. Especially when said high school is labeled to be prestigious. It’s hard to keep up. Not with the work, no, that for certain I’m able to compete in. More like. The weight of the name. The association. And that’s what it’s like to have your name mean Gift from God. I’ve always made friends with teachers. Something about ‘Me being such a mature young man for my age’. I don’t think that that's very true. I mean. I get the point of a kid being mature but in the end, is that what it's like to have conversations with a teacher? I think it’s more along the lines that, growing up, I never associated with kids my age. You can throw me in a room with a group of teens and I’ll make friends with ease, don’t get me wrong. It’s more of, teens are concerned with status and labels, and I’m not. I never have been. Anyways, the first teacher I ever made friends with was a woman named Miss Eno. She was a kind woman, my sister’s fourth grade teacher and, the funny thing was, she never actually taught me. I was just the cute little guy who liked candy. Which she would definitely use to dote on me. Now don’t hate me for this, but candy corn to me, at least growing up, was really good. And she always had a jar full, just for me. She was my ‘fun aunt’ for a while, until she left the school that my siblings were attending. But sometime before that, I can’t exactly pinpoint when it happened or when she started calling me this. But she started to call me Nateybugs. Nateybugs. A name that has been adopted by my family ever since. My mom started to use it at first and it moved to my dad, my sister and brother following. It’s definitely not something that I hear every day. It’s more of a loving and endearing term. I remember this one night in freshman year. I’m pretty sure I had just bombed a quiz or test or something along those lines. And the rest of the day was just bad. No other way to put it. And my parents know that I have anxiety so when I was extra jumpy at dinner that night and I didn’t really want to talk, they knew something was up. Later on that night my mom wanted to talk to me. And she called me Nateybugs. It’s not something that I was used to at this point because I was pretty sure that the name had died when we had thrown away all my old teddy bears. It warmed my heart. Nateybugs is a name reserved for family only. No one outside of my family can call me that and rightfully so. Even best friends know that it’s a family thing. I was quite the mumbler growing up. My brother would often actually shout the word at me if I ever did in front of him which honestly, didn’t really help with that. So when I couldn’t say Nathaniel, my parents decided to shorten my name to Nate. Nate is probably the thing I go by the most, which my mom is definitely not afraid to tell her she hates if you ask her. It’s simplistic. Not something that can have a double meaning. Most people call me this. People ranging from best friends to classmates to extended family members who I only see at Christmas time. They all call me Nate. I don’t know why, but I always wanted to change the status quo. Beat the norm. Because being the norm was what I lacked. Which probably explains why I was able to make friends with teachers. I wasn’t your typical kid in any format. Mostly because my personality is so wide and chaotic (in the best way, of course) that, when I was growing up, I didn’t understand certain things and most kids didn’t understand a lot of things about me. Because on the basis of just knowing somebody’s name. You don’t learn much. People who call me Nathaniel know my name, and physical traits. That’s about it. Nothing else, nothing more. People who call me Nateybugs know me the best. They are my family. They know my chaos, my intensity, my loving, my hope, my aspirations. People who call me Nate. Well, that’s where it gets spread out. Classmates who pass me in the hall and call me Nate aren’t much different than the people who call me Nathaniel. Other people who call me Nate can pick up on certain things about my personality. I’m a pretty energetic person and a lot of people can realize that by just holding a conversation with me. My best friends who call me Nate. They know everything. What inspires me, my comic book favorites, my movies, my love for Disney. And I know that a person knows me by what they call me. Earlier I mentioned I hate labels. It’s not for the usual ‘oh they’re rude’ or ‘oh they hurt my feelings’, no that’s not why. It’s because you can’t really encompass a person by just using one word. People can’t classify other people because people are complex. They have thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams. And using one word to decide that for them? And having that one word be harmful to that person especially. People can be self conscious of whatever you call them. In middle school, I was called plenty of things. But I owned them. I still do. I was called flamboyant, nerd, geek, sexuality slurs, and stuff like that. And to my credit, I owned it. I am flamboyant. I am a nerd. I am a geek. I am gay. But those things are only part of me. They don’t define me. Rather, they describe me. Labels don’t define your identity because a person’s identity is always changing and adapting and growing and it’s not a set list. You can’t point at someone and pinpoint an entire personality on them because they might not know exactly what their personality entails. Kids, teens, and even adults; we always get labeled for everything we do and those things stick to you. Life is always changing, identity is always adapting. The labels that we go by, have to be our own. We can choose who and what we want to be. And with that, what we want to be called. We set the guidelines. We set the labels. So I did. I set my labels into: Nathaniel, Nateybugs, Nate, etc. Shopping.
Some of us enjoy it, and some of us don’t. However, having a tight budget can bring the enjoyment to a screeching halt due to anxiety and stress, plus you can easily end up buying something you don’t want just because you felt pressured and could afford it. However, after going on many budgeted shopping trips I’ve identified 8 hints and tricks to leaving with clothes you really want, and avoiding wasting money.
This may seem like unnecessary hassle, however it can really help in the long run. Having durable fabrics with colours which compliment you means that they’ll last a long time and even limit your need for future shopping trips. Also, having versatile clothing which you can mix-and-match into different outfits is really helpful, as one article can be used in six different outfits, acting as six different pieces. Affordable online shops:
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |