TEENAGERS WITH EXPERIENCE

I was named Nathaniel by my parents on the day I was born. My dad’s name is Neal and my mom wanted something that was similarly related to it but not the name in its entirety. So Nathaniel was on the table. My dad suggested the names Jack, Wyatt, and Ian. Of course, these names fell through the cracks. But the way in which they did is ultimately hysterical. 

    I have two older siblings, my sister being eight years older than me and my brother being six years. Both of my siblings did folklórico, which is a traditional Mexican style of dance. They would go to practice, rehearse, and then of course, perform in competitions. One of these competitions just so happened to be at the Happiest Place on Earth, Disneyland. With my mom being nine months pregnant, she went to her doctor and asked if she would be ok with going to the famous amusement park. The doctor said she was cleared and good to go. 

Turns out, I was the one who was good to go. My siblings performed and after they changed, my parents surprised them by spending the rest of the day at the park. They didn’t know I was planning an even bigger surprise later on (10 pounds to be exact). My mom first felt like she was going into labour when she was in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. And instead of getting out of line, she decided she was going to go on it and see how she felt after. She’s a champ. 

After getting off the ride, my mom knew that she was  definitely going through labor and because she was with my brother and sister, she knew that if she was to panic, so would they. So she guided them over to a bench and when they sat down, my mom tried to control her laboured breathing. My dad was off trying to get fast passes for Haunted Mansion and when he got back, my mom told him that it was time to go. All while this was going on, a worker was watching my mom and had called security and notified a couple of nurses about what was going on. My mom was put in a wheelchair and had her own mini parade down ‘Main Street USA’. The worker who helped my mom out of the park, his name was Nathaniel. The nurse, who was talking to my mom about her own son, was also named Nathaniel. It seemed evident enough to my parents that that’s what I was supposed to be named. 

Strangers call me Nathaniel. Anyone who calls me Nathaniel isn’t close to me on a personal basis. Maybe they’re my acquaintance but even then, not a very close one. Nathaniel has zero attachment. It's the base. The neutral. The grey. Not a good or terrible connotation. It’s just... there. Nothing else left about it. Which inherently isn’t a bad thing. It’s the norm. It’s a first impression. But it’s so-
Boring.

My name means Gift from God. My mom had two miscarriages in-between my brother’s birth and mine. So I was her gift. Granted, I know at some points that there are definitely times where I bet she wishes she kept that receipt, but that’s what happens when you have a ‘moody teen’ in high school. Especially when said high school is labeled to be prestigious. It’s hard to keep up. Not with the work, no, that for certain I’m able to compete in. More like. The weight of the name. The association. And that’s what it’s like to have your name mean Gift from God.

I’ve always made friends with teachers. Something about ‘Me being such a mature young man for my age’. I don’t think that that's very true. I mean. I get the point of a kid being mature but in the end, is that what it's like to have conversations with a teacher? I think it’s more along the lines that, growing up, I never associated with kids my age. You can throw me in a room with a group of teens and I’ll make friends with ease, don’t get me wrong. It’s more of, teens are concerned with status and labels, and I’m not. I never have been. 

Anyways, the first teacher I ever made friends with was a woman named Miss Eno. She was a kind woman, my sister’s fourth grade teacher and, the funny thing was, she never actually taught me. I was just the cute little guy who liked candy. Which she would definitely use to dote on me. Now don’t hate me for this, but candy corn to me, at least growing up, was really good. And she always had a jar full, just for me. She was my ‘fun aunt’ for a while, until she left the school that my siblings were attending. But sometime before that, I can’t exactly pinpoint when it happened or when she started calling me this. But she started to call me Nateybugs. 

Nateybugs. A name that has been adopted by my family ever since. My mom started to use it at first and it moved to my dad, my sister and brother following. It’s definitely not something that I hear every day. It’s more of a loving and endearing term. 

I remember this one night in freshman year. I’m pretty sure I had just bombed a quiz or test or something along those lines. And the rest of the day was just bad. No other way to put it. And my parents know that I have anxiety so when I was extra jumpy at dinner that night and I didn’t really want to talk, they knew something was up. Later on that night my mom wanted to talk to me. And she called me Nateybugs. It’s not something that I was used to at this point because I was pretty sure that the name had died when we had thrown away all my old teddy bears. It warmed my heart. 

Nateybugs is a name reserved for family only. No one outside of my family can call me that and rightfully so. Even best friends know that it’s a family thing. 
I was quite the mumbler growing up. My brother would often actually shout the word at me if I ever did in front of him which honestly, didn’t really help with that. So when I couldn’t say Nathaniel, my parents decided to shorten my name to Nate. 
    
Nate is probably the thing I go by the most, which my mom is definitely not afraid to tell her she hates if you ask her. It’s simplistic. Not something that can have a double meaning. Most people call me this. People ranging from best friends to classmates to extended family members who I only see at Christmas time. They all call me Nate. 

I don’t know why, but I always wanted to change the status quo. Beat the norm. Because being the norm was what I lacked. Which probably explains why I was able to make friends with teachers. I wasn’t your typical kid in any format. Mostly because my personality is so wide and chaotic (in the best way, of course) that, when I was growing up, I didn’t understand certain things and most kids didn’t understand a lot of things about me. 
    
Because on the basis of just knowing somebody’s name. You don’t learn much.
    
People who call me Nathaniel know my name, and physical traits. That’s about it. Nothing else, nothing more. 
    
People who call me Nateybugs know me the best. They are my family. They know my chaos, my intensity, my loving, my hope, my aspirations. 
    
People who call me Nate. Well, that’s where it gets spread out. Classmates who pass me in the hall and call me Nate aren’t much different than the people who call me Nathaniel. Other people who call me Nate can pick up on certain things about my personality. I’m a pretty energetic person and a lot of people can realize that by just holding a conversation with me. 
    
My best friends who call me Nate. They know everything. What inspires me, my comic book favorites, my movies, my love for Disney.
    
And I know that a person knows me by what they call me. Earlier I mentioned I hate labels. It’s not for the usual ‘oh they’re rude’ or ‘oh they hurt my feelings’, no that’s not why. It’s because you can’t really encompass a person by just using one word. People can’t classify other people because people are complex. They have thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams. And using one word to decide that for them? 
    
And having that one word be harmful to that person especially. People can be self conscious of whatever you call them. In middle school, I was called plenty of things. But I owned them. I still do. I was called flamboyant, nerd, geek, sexuality slurs, and stuff like that. And to my credit, I owned it.

I am flamboyant. 

I am a nerd.

I am a geek.

I am gay. 

But those things are only part of me. They don’t define me. 

Rather, they describe me.

Labels don’t define your identity because a person’s identity is always changing and adapting and growing and it’s not a set list. You can’t point at someone and pinpoint an entire personality on them because they might not know exactly what their personality entails. Kids, teens, and even adults; we always get labeled for everything we do and those things stick to you. Life is always changing, identity is always adapting. The labels that we go by, have to be our own. We can choose who and what we want to be. And with that, what we want to be called. 

We set the guidelines. 
We set the labels. 

So I did. I set my labels into:
Nathaniel, Nateybugs, Nate, etc.

​

Shopping.

Some of us enjoy it, and some of us don’t. However, having a tight budget can bring the enjoyment to a screeching halt due to anxiety and stress, plus you can easily end up buying something you don’t want just because you felt pressured and could afford it. 

However, after going on many budgeted shopping trips I’ve identified 8 hints and tricks to leaving with clothes you really want, and avoiding wasting money. 

1. Before you leave the house: google the area you’re going to beforehand and identify some shops which are within your price range and sell clothes you like. This way when you arrive you won’t be daunted in the face of the large, expensive stores and now how to get to the ones you can afford to buy from. 
   
   
2. Another thing you should do before leaving the house is checking the clothes you already have. Spot what you wear most often, as that tells you what you like and what works with you. For instance, if you wear a lot of pastel colours you know to look at lighter colours, and your neutral colour would normally be a white or cream. However, if you normally go for navy, bottle green or dark red coloured clothes your base colours would be darker. Also, this way you can figure out what you need, for instance you might have lots of tops but you need bottoms, or vice versa. Then you don’t end up buying your 15th t-shirt while you only have one pair of jeans.
   
   
3. If your friends want to go into expensive shops, go with them. Look around and see what clothes are there, look at the fabric and prints and styles and identify what you want. Think of this as ‘recon’ for later. This way you can get a clear idea of what you want, and you know what fabrics high-end shops have identified as ‘durable’ or ‘luxury’ so you’re aware of these when going into more affordable shops.
   
   
4. If your shopping-buddy throws something at you accompanied by the line “this would look good on you” notice the cut, colour pallet and style of the article, because they probably spend more time looking at you than you do, and will have noticed something like what colours flatter you and compliment you (although you need to do your own damage control over whether you like their taste or not).
   
   
5. Once you’ve got an idea of the cut, colour palate, fabric and style which you like, NOW your shopping can begin. Lead your friend to the shops you identified earlier, and start looking for what you want. I normally look for colours first as they’re one of the first things I see, and then I look at the style, cut and fabric. 
   
   
6. If you find something within your budget that you like, always make sure to try it on. The worst thing is if you buy something without trying it on and finding that it’s scratchy, or too low cut, or just slightly too small. Different colours can play tricks, and same with different patterns, making you look taller or wider, once again emphasising the need to try things on.
   
   
7. If you find something that has a good cut, style and fabric but the colour you want isn’t there, think about colour families, and what else in that family could compliment your colourings. If you were looking for it to match another item, then I usually just get it in white, cream, brown, blue or green as they match a lot of the clothes I own. 
   
   
8. Once you’ve found something you like, can afford, and tried it on, think through what you’d wear with it that you already own. If you can only imagine one outfit then you know the article isn’t versatile enough, and isn’t worth the money. If you can imagine over three outfit combinations involving the article with clothes you already have, then you know it’s good to go and worth the money.
   
   
9. However, if you can’t find something you like within your price range, don’t worry. Don’t panic and feel as though you need to buy something, because now you know exactly what you’re looking for, and you can use the previously mentioned marvel… the internet. Look at affordable online retailers, or even use apps such as Depop to find the clothes you want, and this way you know what patterns and colours work for you so keep an eye out for those. 

This may seem like unnecessary hassle, however it can really help in the long run. Having durable fabrics with colours which compliment you means that they’ll last a long time and even limit your need for future shopping trips. Also, having versatile clothing which you can mix-and-match into different outfits is really helpful, as one article can be used in six different outfits, acting as six different pieces.

Affordable online shops:

• Asos
• (female) Bella Ella Boutique
• (female) GoJane
• H&M
• Forever 21
• New Look
• Boohoo
• Topman/Topshop
• (female) Pretty Little Thing
• Marks and Spencer
• M&M Direct
• Next

Esme

If you could travel back in time what would you tell your younger self? Maybe you’d tell yourself to study harder for that one chemistry test. Or maybe you’d tell yourself to ask that one guy out in seventh grade. 

Whatever it is, reminiscing is an important part of many of our lives. As important as it is to focus on the future, it is just as important to look back and reflect on our past. Every single day, from every single experience, we learn and grow. We learn from our mistakes and our accomplishments. We learn from our good days and our bad. We are the product of our past and what we’ve learned from it.

Throughout my life, there have been many amazing milestones: my first day of middle school, my first exam, my first boyfriend, and so on. However, with these amazing milestones came the not so great ones: my first time getting bullied, my first time failing an exam, and my first heartbreak. The older that I get, the more time I spend thinking back on everything that has happened in my life - from my best wins to my biggest failures. As I look back, I can see how much I have changed as a person. In seventh grade, I was an insecure little girl that ate in the school bathroom alone everyday and cried herself to sleep every night. 

I have to admit, I am still not perfect or even anywhere close to it. However, I have changed and grown more than I ever thought I could and from all my experiences and everything I have learned, these are the pieces of advice that I would give myself if I could go back in time: 

1. Everything happens for a reason. 
   As you go through life a lot of good and bad things will happen to you. But remember that everything happens for a reason. Without failures and bad times, you will never learn. Without breakups and people leaving your life, you will never meet someone better. Without heartbreaks and pain, you will never grow. Once you really accept this, you will be able to stop dwelling on bad situations and trust that they happened for a purpose. You might not be able to tell now, but in a couple of years you will look back and realize exactly why something happened and what you were able to learn from it.
   
   
2. Be nice to people. 
   You never know what other people are going through. So smile. Wave. Be nice to everybody. You might regret being mean to someone but you will never regret being nice. 
   
   
3. Show the people you love that you love them. 
   Time goes by much faster than you think and you never know when people will be gone. So go hug your mom while you can. Go give you dad a kiss. Go hang out with your friends.
   
   
4. It's okay to ask for help.
   There are 7.5 billion people in the world; you do not have to go through life alone. It is more than okay to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of courage and strength, not of weakness or incompetence. It shows that you are brave enough to admit when you don’t know something and are willing to learn something new. 
   
   
5. Time heals. 
   It is not the end of the world. Whatever terrible thing you are going through will pass. I promise. Please, please do not give up. Things will get better with time. 
   
   
6. Stop caring so much about what others think of you.
   Don’t try to change yourself to please others or to have others like you. At the end of the day, as long as you like yourself and are happy with yourself, it does not matter what anyone else thinks of you. Not everybody will like you and that is completely okay. Don’t waste your time trying to make others like you. Instead, spend that time making yourself someone you love and are proud of. 
   
   
7. Enjoy being a kid while you can.
   I know that you want to grow up but life moves on so much faster than you think. Please enjoy being a kid while you can. Go outside and play in the rain. Go ride bikes with your friends. Go push each other on the swings. Enjoy the little moments. Life will never be as simple and carefree as it is now. Time passes much faster than you think and even though all you want to do right now is grow up, I promise that when you’re older you will wish that you could go back in time and be a kid again. 

Life is messy and complicated. But everything that happens is a chance for us to learn and grow, which is why it is so important to be able to look back at the past and learn from experiences. Now that you know what advice I would give to myself, what are some of the things that you would tell your younger self? 

Have a great day!
Erica xx

​

Hyperhidrosis has taken over my life and leaves me in constant anxiety of physical contact. But what is ‘hyperhidrosis’? Hyperhidrosis is a condition that causes people to sweat excessively in their hands, feet, face, chest, armpits and groin. The condition doesn’t always have a specific cause but is usually triggered by anxiety, certain medications, hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), hyperthyroidism and infections.

Hyperhidrosis doesn’t have an on or off button, for me, it can start at any given time and can be fairly embarrassing if you’re not at home. I find it the most difficult when I go for a job interview, the day will always be going great too! That is until I go inside and see the big boss. This is when sweat begins to flood out as if God is doing Noah's Ark 2.0 (and let me tell you, that is NOT fun). ‘Big boss’ will come over as if on key and then the thunderclaps and clouds begin to go grey! The big boss brings up his hand for the dreaded handshake! I would like to take a moment to say that I am not overreacting, anxiety was giving me a thumbs-up. When the big boss put out his hand I start shaking and I always feel so impolite but I say ‘yep that’s me...But I can’t shake your hand...I have hyperhidrosis’ and at which point the big boss is like ‘what is that’ and I am mentally slamming my head against the wall. I proceed to inform them about my sweaty life to which I’m usually greeted with a friendly smile, which is great! But also very unprofessional on my behalf and often leads me to not getting the job. Sad man-hours.

If this sounds familiar then I have great news for you, there are ways to treat hyperhidrosis - it's always best to consult your GP and if you’re in the U.K. See if the treatments can be done on the NHS;

1.  Medication that reduces sweating
   
2. Iontophoresis. This is a treatment that sends a weak current of electricity through a wet pad to stop the sweating.
   
3. Botox injections for sweating under the armpits (this can not be done on the NHS).
   
4. Surgery (to remove sweat glands, though this can be dangerous as you will no be able to send signals to your brain that you’re being hurt!)
   

If you’re unsure on whether you have hyperhidrosis then you should definitely consult your GP because if you’re anything like me, you’re probably sweating while reading this article. If you'd like some advice on Hyperhidrosis then feel free to message us!


-Cody

​

The pandemic has caused a really difficult time for a lot of industries. Whether it’s a restaurant, a pub, a clothing boutique, a beauty salon or a hairdressers salon, everyone is struggling with not being able to open up and conduct business at usual. As hard as it has been for all businesses this year, there is one industry which means a lot to me and has particularly struggled - theatre.

I have loved the theatre for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember a time in my life, when I didn’t love going to see live shows and singing along to musical soundtracks. I don’t remember what the first show I ever saw was, but I specifically remember going to see The Lion King with my mum and my nan in the West End in London and being mesmerised by the amazing things happening on stage in front of me. Not only did I love seeing theatre, but I loved being a part of theatre productions - acting, dancing and singing. Acting has been in my family for a while. My grandad used to perform in shows, when he was in the Navy and he even did drag shows sometimes to raise money for charity. My mum and dad were part of a local community group who did cabaret shows in the local pub to fundraise for various charities too. It was only commonplace that I started a children’s theatre group when I was 3 years old and continued to participate in 2-3 shows a year until I was 18. But I didn’t stop acting then - I left the children’s group and joined the Lindrick Players which is the local amateur dramatics group for adults in my town. I love every second of it, but due to the pandemic, I haven’t performed whatsoever on a stage in 10 months since my pantomime in January and won’t be back until the middle of next year at the earliest. That also means I haven’t set foot in a theatre for over 8 months - 255 days to be exact - and it sucks.

Because of the pandemic, theatres haven’t been able to open in 8 months and that means that actors, actresses, box office attendants, stage managers, directors and everybody else who is integral to performing a show have all been out of work for a long time. Shows have been unable to be performed or even rehearsed because according to the British government and Rishi Sunak, theatres aren’t essential and ‘[we] can’t pretend that everyone can do exactly the same job that they were doing at the beginning of this crisis’ referring to performers in particular. Those who work in theatres have also not been given the same furlough opportunities as everybody else during this lockdown so many of them are losing their jobs as the theatre cannot afford to pay them. Theatres have been given a £1.5bn cash injection, but this is not enough to keep them open for what is almost definitely multiple months or even years. We could see theatres being shut for a long time to come, and that just cannot happen in my opinion. I cannot see a future without the theatre in it. 

To help the theatre industry as much as we can, we need to do everything possible to keep them open and keep them operating whilst they still have the funds to do so. So here are some of the following things which you could do to help theatres and shows which have been forced to close:

• The obvious way to give theatres and shows some extra funds is to book tickets to go and see them. I understand it is a very uncertain time and so many of us may think ‘I don’t want to book tickets in case the show gets rescheduled/cancelled’ and I get that - even I’m trying to book as few tickets as possible in case the show gets rescheduled. However, the way you need to think about it is most West End/Broadway show dates will get rescheduled eventually and so your money won’t go to waste. Also, if you need the money back for some reason when it gets rescheduled, you will always be offered a refund so it’s not like the money is gone forever. So if you can afford to buy tickets right now and there is a show you want to go and see, please book those tickets.
  

• If you don't feel comfortable going to actual shows, many theatres and actors are putting on virtual shows. This means you can pay for a virtual ticket, which is usually a lot less than an actual theatre ticket,  may I add (I've seen tickets for as little as £7) and then you will get a link or a code to a virtual show that only ticket holders can watch. The Theatre Cafe have done shows including actors like Carrie Hope Fletcher, Oliver Ormson and Jodie Steele among many others and they're not the only ones. So many theatres have done one off virtual events which you can watch for a very reasonable price so keep an eye out online for those. Andrew Lloyd Webber has also set a YouTube channel called The Shows Must Go On! where every week, a professional recording of a new show is posted which you can access for free for 48 hours. There has been The Phantom of the Opera, Cats, War of The Worlds and there are plenty of others left to come, including some concert recordings from musical theatre giants like Michael Ball and Alfie Boe. What more could you ask for?!
  

• If you would prefer to wait until after theatres reopen to see a show, you can always buy merchandise from the show. By merchandise, I don't mean search 'show merchandise' on Amazon, please buy it from the official show’s website. Not all shows have official websites, and not all shows sell merchandise on their website either, but if they do, it's a great way to support them. I would always buy a t-shirt or a programme at the theatre if I was going to see a show so for me, buying that merchandise online is a pandemic-friendly solution.
  

Please please. Do whatever you can to support theatres before it's too late. We cannot afford to lose this incredible industry.

• Kenzie.
  

​

Music is the universal language to the ears. Regardless of where you are from, the tunes you listen to can incite joy in your day whenever you are feeling gloomy. Nowadays, the popular genres of music include rap, R&B, hip-hop, indie and more, and may have individual fan bases to support their favorite artists. However, music shaming continues to be a factor that makes many music listeners feel inferior based on their preferences, or feel “out of the loop” with whatever is considered tasteful at the moment.

Music shaming is evident in many genres and artists. The foundation of music shaming is made up of prior stereotypes that many people have nitpicked based on its origins and overall style. For instance, Taylor Swift continues to be music shamed because it is assumed that her general fanbase is made up of adolescent girls, or that her whole discography consists of songs that she produced based on her long list of boyfriends. However, no one applauds that all of these hit songs were personally written by her, which is very telling of how artistically talented she is when showing her personal storytelling through her writing. While not enjoying an artist is valid, it is unreasonable to project animosity toward them or their fanbase simply because their music preference is not in line with what others believe is considered to be “cool” at the moment.

I’ve personally experienced embarrassment through my enjoyment of K-pop. I enjoy the genre simply because many songs are incredibly well produced, and the artists sacrifice a large amount of time in executing choreography alongside it for the sake of aesthetic. Whenever people ask what my favorite genre is, I always avoid the word “K-pop” because I am aware of the numerous questions alongside it that may lead me to feel inferior. It may brand me as a generic Asian who supports a genre that they cannot understand, or a psychotic fan whose whole life revolves around obsessing over idols, buying tickets and albums, or even targeting other fan bases on Twitter. Of course, I will always remember whether a certain song cheered me up on a bad day, or how proud I was whenever my favorite group made a comeback and delivered incredible content for their fans. That itself should not make me feel ashamed to be a K-pop fan, regardless of anyone’s opinions.

No one’s music preferences should be shamed because it is a reflection of your personality. I have personally learned that you should confront your fears and go against the prior assumptions made by others. If you feel isolated based on your music taste, here are some ideas that may make you feel more comfortable:

Communicate with your friends about their biases:
Although it is difficult to do so, try to give them the opportunity to voice out their opinions. You can simply dismiss these claims if they are false and even provide them a perspective of how your music taste is a significant part of your life. 

Engage with the fanbase online:
Every social media platform, especially Twitter and Instagram, have many accounts that engage with a specific community of music fans. If you ever feel isolated, you can simply visit their pages, enjoy their content, or even comment. I personally know of some fan bases that create special days in order to collectively listen to an artist’s music on Spotify, and doing so can make you feel accepted.

Unapologetically listen to your music:
Blast your music in your room! Your family may hear it, and who knows, maybe they may actually enjoy your music and listen to it with you in the future.

Ultimately, everyone is uniquely different and one’s music preference should not be discriminated against solely because it does not fit with whatever is popular these days. Regardless, confidently embrace your music preferences and what it stands for. At the end of the day, the only thing that will fully appreciate whatever you choose to listen to are your ears.

​​Lana

Disclaimer: This article is only my experience and uses rather theatrical language. If you came here seeking a realistic portrayal of periods, either refer to the last paragraph or talk to a trusted adult or doctor.

Since the beginning of time, women have had to deal with blood streaming out of their vagina while their hormones wreak havoc on their emotions and their uterus tries to consume them from the inside out; or at least that’s the description I use to terrify my guy friends. In reality, it’s pretty manageable for most. 

Let’s start with the science behind menstruation: It normally starts between the ages of 8 and 16 and continues its cycle until your 40s or 50s, when menopause begins (Read “Your Menstrual Cycle” on womenshealth.gov for more information). Each cycle lasts approximately 28 days; this includes the start of your period, the end of your period, ovulation, etc. Basically, during the 2-7+ day period, your eggs are maturing, meaning it’s ready to be fertilized. With this, your uterine lining thickens to prepare for the release of the eggs. If you don’t get pregnant during this ovulation period, your uterus realizes there is no use for it and sheds the blood that was making it thick and squishy. The tissue, blood, and nutrients flow out of your vagina – hence the red stained underwear - and you thank goodness you aren’t pregnant (Unless you’re trying to get pregnant, obviously)! This process causes physical symptoms such as cramps, bloating, nausea, breakouts, sore breasts, and fatigue along with emotional symptoms like mood swings.

Well, that was more than school will ever teach us about the female body! Now that we have that out of the way, I’ll explain the less gross and more mentally draining portion of periods. Keep in mind that periods are different for everyone. Some may have a short, light, and fairly easy experience while others, like me, book a vacation to hell for over a week. In fact, I’ve been described on many occasions as Satan while on my period, which is fair.

I have a love/hate relationship with my menstrual cycle. On one hand, it’s a sign I’m not pregnant; on the other, it pulverizes my physical and emotional being (which is just a bit dramatic). Before my lovely first visit from Aunt Flow, I was a rather stable person (excluding the severe depression, but that’s an article for another day). Then, I became this dramatic, sensitive, malicious blood-spewing ball of negativity. Anything and anyone irritates me, I feel like crying every 5 minutes, and my depression becomes seemingly amplified. If my mood swings weren’t enough, I also undergo truly monstrous cramps, an unnecessarily heavy flow, and extreme nausea. Thankfully, I only endure this side of myself like 2-4 times a year as it’s quite irregular. 

If you also endure the devil in your uterus, here are some things I have found to be helpful during those times:

• Cramps: HEATING PADS and your choice of pain medication!! I can’t stress enough how much they help me. You can buy the medication over the counter, unless those don’t help then you should talk to your doctor and get a prescription for a heavier medication meant to relieve periods. I find exercise, curling into a ball and crying, a long nap, and masturbation also aid in cramp relief.
• Mood swings: I would recommend avoiding or eliminating all triggers. If there is a specific person or thing that you know will annoy you, either talk to the person and let them know that you are simply not in the head space to hang out or speak to them (but don’t be rude) or steer clear of them. Additionally, try to find something that calms you. Personally, watching my favorite show, reading my favorite book, or taking a few minutes out of my day to abuse my pillows works well.

​For those of you who haven’t experienced your period yet, the depiction mentioned above is a dramatic way of describing my experience. Like I said before, no menstrual cycle is the same. You might not have a terrible cycle – however if you do, refer to the advice above. They also aren’t some nasty, taboo thing that shouldn’t be talked about. They’re something normal that should be talked about more. Always remember your body is a perfectly beautiful and normal thing! 

-Katelyn

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We all have hair, whether that’s on our heads, legs, faces, arms, underarms or pubic regions. It’s there, and if you are like me, you may wish it wasn’t. You may struggle to find the time every few days to shave the black stubble that continues to make you insecure when wearing shorts, skirts, or strappy tops. You may have to quickly shave your armpits before going out with friends or to play in a netball match, afraid of what people will think if they see that dreaded dark patch.

People have called me a gorilla before. Why do I mention this? Am I saying the only reason I decided to wax was due to peer pressure? No. Absolutely not. I mention this to inform you that these comments meant and still mean nothing to me. I decided to wax because I wanted to, for myself and no one else. 

If you love your body hair but feel pressured by others to remove it, I want you to stop reading this article. You are beautiful. Do not listen to them, they are probably just jealous of how gorgeous and confident you are. Own your body, own how it makes you feel and please, please don’t give in to hate.

I’ve been shaving for four years now. Sitting in the shower, the bath, on the bathroom floor, even my bedroom floor (I do not recommend this, the cream stains) and frantically running the razer along my leg was not fun, but it was necessary. It was necessary for my confidence because no matter how many times I’ve been told that no one cares, I would still rather smooth than stubbly arms and legs. 

Of course, this is just my personal preference and if you prefer to embrace your body hair then I have absolutely nothing against you! Everyone is entitled to do whatever they want with their body, as long as it doesn’t harm them. 

A few weeks ago I decided that enough was enough. My mum went and bought me two packs of wax strips and last night, I sat on my bathroom floor rereading the instructions for the millionth time, trying to prepare myself for, well… I didn’t really know. 

Peeling apart the two wax strips, tapping one with my finger and realising just how sticky it was, applying it to my leg, rubbing it in a downward motion to ensure it was attached to every hair possible… these weren’t the scary bits. The scariest part was the fear of not knowing what I was doing and having no one there with me as I sat and stared at the strip on my leg, knowing eventually it would have to come off. I wish I had asked my mum to support me as I did it for the first time and, when you first wax, I would suggest having someone there with you to reassure you.

When you wax for the first time, you will be scared and that’s in no way a bad thing. Your brain is screaming that you are being mad, the wax is going to rip your skin, you have a razor and you should just use it instead. Usually, I’d say to listen to this part of your brain (aka listen to your common sense) but in this situation it is actually doing more harm than good. Try to think about something else, maybe focusing more on how the wax looks and feels, rather than letting your brain worry you into oblivion. It isn’t going to help you and will only make you more nervous.

That first strip is the worst and, to be honest, once it’s off, your leg will sting a little but, the pain isn’t that bad. At all. Ignore that episode in ‘Friends’ when they scream in pain; it was for comedic purposes, nothing else. I promise. For each new strip I found that counting helped me a lot, otherwise I would’ve sat contemplating it for the entire night. 1...2…PULL! Just like that, it’s over. Well, the first one anyway.

What surprised me most was how satisfying I found waxing. If you are into ASMR then it’s honestly just another reason to give it a go. From the slow and incredibly satisfying pulling apart of the two strips, to the patch of hairless skin, if you view it with that mindset, you may even enjoy yourself (I know I did!).

There are also a few other small things I am inclined to mention, mainly because the instructions I used didn't explain these parts very well. First, you need to make sure when you pull on the tab, you are pulling AGAINST the way the hairs are growing (so up your leg) and as close to the skin as possible. 

You want it to be fast, the skin around your leg to be tight (either tense your muscle or just pull your skin taut) and when your legs are covered in little red bumps, don’t be alarmed. This is simply your blood rising and asking your skin what on Earth just happened. It does not mean you’ve done something wrong, it’s just your body’s natural reflex to the sensation of hair being ripped out of your leg. 

When you look at the strip after shaving you may notice some of the hairs have a darker black bit at the end of them. This is where you’ve pulled up the root of the hair. Once again, this should not alarm you. In fact, it’s a good thing and means those hairs will take longer to grow back!

Annoyingly, the wax won’t pull up every last hair. Now, I didn’t know this, and felt thoroughly ripped off when my mum said i would have to wait a few days for those hairs to grow a bit longer, and then try again. 

So, that was my waxing experience. Was it terrifying? A little bit. But, more importantly, was it worth it? 100%. I believe in you and I know that if I can do this, so can you. Don’t let your body hair define nor dictate how you feel. If you want it gone, get rid of it. If not, I want you to own it and if someone makes any kind of comment towards you, ignore them. You are strong, you are powerful and their comments do not define you.

I hope this helped :) Have an absolutely glorious day my beautiful reader xxx

• Chloë
  

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Have you ever watched “Morning routines”? “Night routines”? Maybe a “day in the life” video on youtube, hoping that you are able to wake up that early? Or be as productive during the day like what you’ve watched in those videos? Well, that's why building a routine is actually really good for you! It may even change your life for the better and help you! I personally enjoy watching morning routines, night routines, and day in the life videos because I aspire to wake up that early and be productive as well. Initially, I did try to copy their routines, I used to write down whatever they did and replicate the routines, hoping that I could be as productive and fresh in the morning as they were. That did work out for a couple of days, sometimes some routines did work out for weeks but honestly, never in the long term.

That's when I realized that the only way to actually have the “perfect” or the “most productive” routine, or the routine that your body and mind desires, is to actually slowly build your routine based on you. What I mean by this is, in order to have a “perfect” routine that you, personally do enjoy, you need to understand your needs and what your body and mind are comfortable with. Every single body and mind is different, frankly, it's quite difficult for people to be able to adapt to the exact same things. This means that I may not be an early riser or someone who's able to sleep early, and that's completely fine and normal, but that doesn’t mean that it's impossible to change.

When I did try to make a routine for myself, based on what I saw in the videos, I forced myself to wake up early and sleep early, and do yoga in the morning and the night as well, and try to work out during the day, eat healthy, be productive all day,  because I went to that extent to try to replicate routines. However, it actually doesn’t work that way. When I realized that I couldn’t cope with this routine for the long term, I assumed that it wasn’t possible to do it at all, but that's where I was wrong for the second time. It took some time to actually realize that building your routine doesn’t happen in one day. 

I believe that its really important to have a good routine for yourself because, in that way, you’re able to optimize your time better. However, you need to be patient with yourself and take the time to understand what your needs are. If you want to build a routine, you need to make the changes slowly and see if you’re comfortable with it. My sleep schedule was not the best, sleeping at 2-4, waking up at 6-7, and taking afternoon naps, and on weekends, sleeping in till the afternoon, wasn’t really the best choice for my health but I thought that waking up early and sleeping early was impossible.

I was wrong. I thought that it was impossible, but it actually wasn’t. The first time I tried, I, of course, failed, because I was trying to force myself to follow the routines I watched online, but, the second time I tried it, I slowly and patiently adapted to a better routine. By this, I mean, I was so used to sleeping at 2-3 that I didn’t jump to 9-10 pm, I slowly started with 1 am, then got into bed by 11 pm, then some days I did relapse back to the late nights, but I didn’t give up just yet. I started again, I got into bed earlier and waited till I fell asleep, and even with the mornings, my main focus was getting enough sleep. So, since I slept early, I also focused on waking up early, thus, I was slowly building on my sleep schedule routine.

Similarly, I wanted to see what else I could change in my routine. I saw in the videos how people were able to do yoga in the morning and night, and how they looked so refreshed so I decided why not. I did force myself to do it, and it did take time to realize that it didn’t really help me. I’m not saying that yoga isn’t good for you, but personally, it didn’t really help me, in terms of my mental health, so I decided to stop doing yoga and focus on some breathing techniques which are actually really helpful. I did try and work out, and that actually went really well but didn’t work out in the long term because I did overdo the workouts. I used to watch how people could work out for 2-3 hours straight, but I slowly came to the understanding that my body is comfortable with 30 mins to an hour of working out, and that to, maybe twice or thrice a week.

Therefore, I started trying out more things to see what really makes me feel comfortable and what works for me, but at the same time, if something didn’t work out and I wanted to make it happen, I had to be patient with myself and wait for my body and mind to adapt to it. Like, I used to be able to study only at midnight and beyond when it came to school, and it was quite bad considering the fact that I wasn’t able to even prepare for my exams for the whole day because I couldn’t focus unless it was at night. That didn’t mean that I gave up just there though. I decided that since I could wake up early and put a stop to the afternoon naps, I could maybe try and sit down to finish my work in the morning. Honestly, nearly every morning during my summer vacation, I woke up early and sat down on my table. Even if I wasn’t able to focus, I still sat down and waited for my mind to come to terms that I had work to complete. Now, I can proudly say that even if it's 4 AM or 5 AM, I’m able to study without procrastinating too much.

I realized that at the end of the day, to only find the perfect routine that you desire, you need to be patient with yourself, your mind, and your body. There’s absolutely no deadline to make a perfect routine, so you just need to work on building your routine every single day, and every single day, try to make small changes and see if they work out for you or not. If some things don’t really turn out the way you want them to, then don’t give up just yet! Keep at it and sooner or later, you’ll be able to achieve it!

A routine is like a puzzle. You need to start figuring out which pieces fit and until you do, the puzzle may be incomplete. Be patient with yourself, and sooner or later, when all the pieces seem to fit, the puzzle will be ready. Be patient with yourself, and take time to understand your mind and your body needs. 

-Ananya

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At the start of lockdown, I had found myself listening to the same songs over and over again. However, I have recently found a musician that I absolutely adore.  Michael Aldag. Not only is his music great to listen to and very thought provoking, but he also has amazing hair.

His recent song (I say recent but it came out 4 weeks ago) is a beautiful, captivating song about the current pandemic. Despite this, I have only seen it today (23//06//20) as he has just released a lyric video to the song. I have already listened to it five or six times! It is so catchy with such an important message. 

It talks about how those in power have been absent or, as Aldag says: “It’s a town from which the sinners hide”. He then goes on to talk (or should I say sing) about how there has been lots of questionable advice being shared during this already confusing time. An example from his song is where Aldag is calling out Donald Trump due to the fact he told people to inject themselves with cleaning chemicals. Aldag does this in the lyric “That chlorine looks good so inject it in my soul”. 

Another impactful lyric is, “It seems the virus does discriminate”, highlighting the fact that it is the working class who are affected most by the pandemic. This is because Aldag is trying to get people to donate to The Trussell Trust, a charity that is working towards the end of needing food banks in the UK, although many people are currently in need of support. 

Aldag also has many other great songs like Entitled and BEDBOUND. BEDBOUND is another song about being in lockdown, which he has made a music video for from his bed in lockdown. Whilst Entitled is about how everyone is trying to compete over this idea that their life is worse than others, he also does so many covers of songs that are so beautiful.

I can’t stress how much I love Aldag’s songs (and hair), so please go and show him some support. As even a little like or follow goes a long way to helping new musicians. It will aid Aldag in being able to create more music with such deep and meaningful messages.

 Josh​

A dynamic truth! A fair judgment to be done! And just another level of stupidity! In fact, it's an indirect one… The time we spend on things we love is way too little than the time we spend on social media. Oooh no! Let me check what Peter has posted this week on Instagram. Or perhaps, it will be so cool and so nice to check on what Mary posted on Tik Tok… But, time still counts, “Tick tock tick tock" And death comes like Boom! We then become addicted to our so-called social life partners.

Old days seem more astonishing than the current days… Just to be more precise, the difficulties in doing things made people intelligent and hardworking. But, right now right here, you light up a house with one click on the switch then on it goes! The lights! Such a thing, demanded several trials on a log rubbed smoothly but roughly just to create fire. Sounds interesting right? But, what do we learn from the many trial and errors that gave us a lesson every single time? It actually gave our elders the ability not to give up. It actually made them understand that the world was full of trial and errors which later led to better infrastructures like The Egyptian Pyramids. But come on… wait first! What was Elon Musk's latest post on his newly bought-possession Twitter? Ooh no! Why am I still obsessed with what I am just criticizing? I don't know for real…

To be honest, I have had this experience where we are just bonded or perhaps married to a wife or husband named “Social Media” with a full-amazing-gold ring. This might sound harsh but it's actually a truth we have to tolerate. The life principle, which I actually don't know about, tells us that the only people we will be bonded to a lot are our life partners. Ha ha, just kidding! The depth of its effect is far higher than the depth of its advantages which leaves us with an understanding that probably we might be expecting divorces from our life partners. That is what will happen when social media platforms get banished due to the effects it will have caused. We might find ourselves in a drastic confusion of what to do after getting the divorce from these social media platforms. A question just popped up in my mind, actually it's a question I have seen before, which says "What would you do when the internet gets off to replace the time you spend on it?" Huh? Is this a stupid joke or just a mere example of how the crazy people prank the intelligent people? You know, it's actually a thought from someone who might be crazy or just insane enough to speak such bullshit. But, the reality remains that these kinds of people are the most intelligent ones because they realize the depth of the disadvantage. They realize that these platforms which tend to connect people are the same platforms which destroy the role of humanity on earth. Just a simple question, how many people feel absolutely comfortable speaking with people physically than online? Probably very few… But why? It's mainly due to the drastic push we get from our so-called "Life Partners" or let's just say "Destructive Life Partners" named Social Media.
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Boom! So this is what I have learnt from the Social Media platforms: Well, like lightning it strikes and brings terrifying effects on earth through the breaking rumors it gives out. Like sun rays it gives us the pretendence-like heat unless the ozone layer is tempered through fake-true news it offers. We still survive knowing that we have more to face but unlikely knowing its effects. We live, we survive and we still spend time with our so-called-partners named Social Media. Did I just say something about time? Ooooh no! Wooohooo! Here comes the worst part! Just relax ok? I took time and spared some to check my screen time. I was puzzled and actually surprised with what I saw. Like seriously!!! Did I just spend 6 hours only on Instagram? Ooh come one! Was I stupid to spend 7 hours on ticktock? Mmmh! This sounds fun but how come more than half of my day is just spent on social media? It's magic right? Huh? Still sounds sarcastic… Anyway, let me check what Elon has posted on Twitter this time.

Ladies and gents, or let's say online-addicted ladies and gents, I have learnt that the physical contact we spend with our physical friends is far too little than the enormous-high-quality-comfortable time we spend on social media. And actually, my imagination leads me to thinking that we might make a movement on Heaven just to be spared some minutes to check out on our friends in hell and at least check their progress. Just kidding though, the reality is, we really need to look at the future we are destined to go through and at least think if our so-called-life-partners will be advantageous to that destiny. Are we really ready to sacrifice our futures just to waste time on our so-called Life partners or will we be ready to sacrifice the social media and spend more time to nourish our physical world. I am having a feeling that probably Prince EA has posted something today on Instagram. But, do I really have to check it out? You know, this thing is quite tempting and at times it's apparently impossible to just quit it out of the blues and get outdated. Who wants to be outdated? Who? Actually it's fairly no one. It's just not that easy to forget everything and have no information about the world out there. It's quite depressing at times and far away beyond impossible. But, I do have a feeling that there is a way to change and get back to the old days when physical life was much more interesting that the online life. I have this feeling that probably we could have learnt less than what we learn today but actually accurate, true and educative knowledge. We would actively gain knowledge rather than the drastic mixture of lies and truths we get now leading us to an awesome confusion. And who knows, probably we might be able to live a life we all enjoy, live in peace and love and get the natural beauty of our beautiful planet earth.  A lot has been happening to the online-addicted ladies and gents. I have been wondering how social media has made us not see the beautiful environment around us. It sounds even awkward that people selfie themselves at funerals these days. But, how long are we going to be torturing our eyes with contents from social media and still get nothing from it? This sounds ridiculous! 

I cannot stop writing because I feel like the devil we always speak of is actually our so-called life partners named Social Media. They come as a sheep but it's just a skin and when removed there comes a tiger and actually a Mongolian Tiger. It's fierce enough to strike the moment we fully believe it's a sheep. And yes! We have done that already and now we only have to wait for the ambush. Down within the narrow paths towards our destinies, we will be snatched like a chicken. With no one to hear our cries, we will be tortured like a roasted fish. And finally, with none to blame, we will be enslaved and killed mercilessly and Boom! Deal done! Oooh my social media, what have you done to me?

- Andreaa


 Helpline:
Be cautious with your social media platforms. Make good use of them and don’t let them exploit you more than how you exploit them. Be cautious!

https://www.makeuseof.com/how-to-quit-social-media/

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When you hear the word addiction, your mind automatically goes to drugs or alcohol. These things are considered bad for you when consumed in abundance. However, addiction can be of other kinds too. Addiction to gambling, shopping, and binge eating are just to name a few. Today, I’m going to shed some light on the addiction to cleaning or making sure your environment is perfect at all times. Now, the addiction to cleaning is not necessarily OCD but can be a symptom of it. If you think you might suffer from it, it is best to go and get a diagnosis from a professional doctor.
 
Cleaning is almost always considered to be a positive thing. Cleanliness helps with focus; it reduces environmental health problems and might even help you sleep better. However, sometimes the obsession with cleaning might lead you to a point where you’re not able to sleep if your shoes are not in the cupboard or you can’t focus on your studies because the books are not in order.
 
Some reasons why people may tend to clean up a lot can include the need to feel that they’re in control or the need to see everything around them in symmetry. Most of these habits do not raise any mental health flags as personalities vary and some just like having everything clean. However, if it is hindering your daily life, it would be wise to check with a doctor.
 
It’s a good time to see a doctor when you’re spending hours cleaning one spot over and over or you wake up in the middle of the night just to clean the kitchen shelves and do not understand the motive behind your actions.
 
As a person, I love having everything around me spick and span. I cannot start studying/working unless I have made my bed. I cannot sleep unless all my clothes are neatly folded in the closet and my books are in their designated spots. However, on some days, I let it go. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to clean up or I just have more urgent things to do. I understand my motive behind cleaning everything. In the morning, it is to be 100% focused on my tasks and at night it’s to make sure something does not poke my eye out as I sleep.
 
Just like personality, people have different aesthetics too. For example, some people love having their work desk overflowing with plants and pictures while others go for a minimalistic look. I personally love the idea of having two books and a clean desk to start with every day. In conclusion, the need for a clean environment is good when it's just that. However, when it’s paired with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, it might not be just wanting a clean environment anymore.
 
If you suffer from addiction or want to talk to someone about it, contact your local addiction helpline or contact this UK-based web chat for support. Always remember, that it is never too late to ask for support.
 
https://www.addaction.org.uk/webchat
Stay safe and stay happy <3
Aiza x
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‘Can you please repeat what you want to say again?’--- 

I have to hear this question usually every day. My words spread out when I speak fast- mainly because I am excited or nervous. At that time, no one understands my words- it’s obvious. So I don’t hold any grudges towards people if they say they didn’t understand my words or I have to explain to them again slowly. But I feel guilty or depressed inside because I can’t always make people understand my words nor I can speak slowly. There are many causes of speech impediments or disorders. I guess my one is due to respiratory weakness as I have a dust allergy for which I catch coughs and colds very often; so I can’t speak long sentences sometimes as I can’t keep my breath for long. 

When I was young, I couldn’t talk clearly because of my disorganized and misplaced teeth. Some of my cousins used to ask why I am like this. I was really sad and used to come to my mom crying. She understood my feelings and tried to talk to my dad about fixing my teeth, but he didn’t listen to my mom. He said that I was too small to get teeth braces or any other procedures. So I had to grow up listening to people talking about my unclear speech behind my back. I did get teeth braces after turning 16. After 2 years of patience, my teeth got fixed, but still, my words remained unclear as my lower jaw is slightly misplaced. I put my heart and soul to fix my speech impediment but still, I feel frustrated and insecure about what people may think about me. But I did try some tips for improving my speech-

1. Try to use small sentences or phrases by breaking up long ones. You can easily speak slowly using small sentences and it’ll be clear.

2. Some mild speech disorders can be treated with speech therapy. I didn’t do therapy because I believe I don’t have a disorder, it’s mainly due to my slightly displaced jaw.

3. Though I didn’t do therapy, I tried some breathing exercises which really helped me.
 
4. Try not to speak when you are excited or angry as it will make the sentences more unclear and you may become frustrated if anyone asks you to say the words again. Try to make yourself calm before talking to someone in excitement. 

How can you help someone with a speech impediment or communication problems?

1. Be patient and don’t rush while listening to the person. Try to focus on what the person is trying to say. 
2. While talking to someone with a speech impediment, remove distractions so that you can listen attentively.
3. Try to stay on one topic and don’t ask too many questions at once. Try to talk naturally, it will be comfortable for both of you.
4. Don’t avoid the person with communication problems. Try to make conversation with them about topics both are interested in. Because the more they practise, the more they can improve their speech. 

Resources on Speech Disorders:
The following resources may help those who are seeking more information about speech impediments.
Health Information: Information and statistics on common voice and speech disorders from the NIDCD
Speech Disorders: Information on childhood speech disorders from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center
Speech, Language, and Swallowing: Resources about speech and language development from the ASHA

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PLEASE NOTE: You must be 18 or over to legally use a dating website or app so please bear that in mind.

Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years and it looks like that trend is only going to continue. Gone are the days of meeting someone in a bar or through a mutual friend. It's easy to see why people turn to websites like Tinder, or Match.com. It is so easy to create a profile and it allows you to meet single people outside your circles who you may not have otherwise given a second look.

But online dating is also scary. With an estimated 323.9 million people using dating apps (source: Cloudwards.net) it can be really difficult to decide who to 'swipe left' or 'swipe right', so to speak. Not everyone on a dating site is going to be trustworthy and who they say they are and, certainly for women, unsolicited pictures (colloquially known as 'dick pics') are a common occurrence. But it’s not just women. Men can also feel concerned for their safety as women online can also be inclined to lie or make omissions about who they are and their life. So do the pros of online dating outweigh the cons and if so, how can you keep yourself safe?

I am extremely inexperienced when it comes to dating. My first and only serious relationship was when I was 15/16 years old and it really didn't end well. I had briefly considered online dating before but I had always been scared as all I’ve ever known is the horror stories you hear about catfishes and dick pics and people just looking for sex. I knew I didn’t want that so I was very reluctant to go online, despite my godmother insisting that I needed to get out there again and give dating a chance. But, despite my reservations,  I have recently taken the leap and decided to try Facebook Dating. It’s been an interesting endeavour, to say the least. I was decidedly optimistic about online dating and thought I’d met ‘the one’ the first time I matched and spoke with someone. 

That was my first encounter with what I call ‘the bullshitter.’ He told me he’d never met anyone like me, never felt this way about anyone and he was falling in love with me (this was all on the first date, two days after we’d started talking, can I add.) He kept saying how he couldn’t wait to put a ring on my finger and spend his life with me. Cue two weeks later, two days before our second date, he messaged me to tell me he was getting back with his ex-girlfriend… who was also pregnant with his baby. I mean - what, wow. What am I meant to do with that?

Understandably, I was pretty cautious and nervous after that about getting too invested in anyone. I didn’t want to be let down yet again. In the past month or so, I have matched with many people and spoken with roughly half of them. Half of those I’ve clicked with and half of them either didn’t work out or didn’t even reply. I’ve been ghosted, sent unsolicited dirty messages and blocked for no reason at all among other strange interactions. I honestly considered deactivating my profile and just giving up again. 

Roughly two weeks ago, I met one of the sweetest guys I've ever encountered. He has one young daughter which is a bit scary for a 22 year old, but he is so kind and makes me feel pretty damn special - not in the way the bullshitter did though, but in a genuine way. He’s made it very clear that he’s fine with me needing to slow down and he won’t pressure me into anything that I’m not ready for or completely 100% comfortable with. It’s early days but we’ve been on three dates so far and thanks to him, I’ve regained a little bit of hope and faith in online dating. 

Just because I have met some horrible people doesn’t mean that everyone is horrible. There are some genuinely nice guys online, as proven by the latest guy I’ve met. Online dating is scary and yes, it can be really difficult to navigate like some kind of unsolvable puzzle. But I don't want you to write it off just because of the prospect of meeting someone horrible. So here are some tips from personal experience on how to keep yourself safe and enjoy the experience.

• If something feels off, trust your instinct.

Everybody has a gut instinct which is designed to protect us from harm and guide us in the right direction when making decisions. Usually, your gut instinct is right and if it’s telling you something is wrong or there is something a little bit off, you are getting that feeling for a reason. So rather than just ignoring it and brushing it off, maybe try listening to it. I sure wish I had. With the first guy I met, there was a little niggling thought in my head that it was too good to be true and that he couldn’t be as good as he seems. It turns out my mum had the same thoughts and was concerned that I’d get hurt, which in the end I did. 

• Don't share too much personal information 

This is Internet 101. Whenever you meet someone online, you have to be careful about what you share with them as not everyone is going to be who they say they are and your personal information can easily be used against you. Things like your address or where you work should be kept to yourself until you are completely sure that it is necessary and safe to share and never share things like passwords or social media logins.

• When meeting, have a friend who has your back

When I went on my first date, a friend offered to come and sit in the background to keep an eye on me and then I could let her know if I needed an out. Granted, I didn’t take her up on that but I did give her a code word that I would use if I felt uncomfortable, and then she would give me a call with an emergency that I could use to leave. If you have a friend or family member who you trust, let them know where you’re going and when and maybe organise some kind of code like I did in case things go bad.

• Be open minded when it comes to hobbies and interests 

Just because people don’t share any hobbies or interests with you doesn’t mean you won’t click. One of the guys I spoke to was interested in bottle collecting and metal detecting. Those kinds of things are not even remotely interesting to me but I really liked the guy. So be open minded and don’t just write them off because you don’t have everything in common.

• Don't put too much pressure on yourself

You don’t have to meet ‘the one’ as soon as you start online dating. I mean, I thought I had and look how that turned out for me. Don’t be afraid to move slowly, take your time and just have fun. If it’s meant to be, things will naturally progress at a pace you are comfortable with and you shouldn’t put any pressure on yourself to move on quicker than you feel ready to, and no-one else should pressure you either. 

So whilst I encourage you to enjoy the experience of online dating if you decide to try it, I’ll leave you with this thought: be careful and stay safe.

~ Kenzie x

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Periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We must not only normalise the physical impact they have, but also the effect they have on mental health too. Instead of shaming others, we must focus on promoting love and support during this stressful time. Whether you are reading this and relate to menstruation affecting your mental health, or want to help those close to you, I hope I can offer some useful tips in tackling this monthly battle. 

Over 90% of menstruating people suffer from at least one symptom of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), including headaches, feeling upset, anxiety, irritability, tiredness and bloating. Linked to this, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem similar to PMS but causes more serious symptoms, like severe irritability, depression and anxiety, and these can present themselves a week or two before the period actually starts and ease two or three days after it has begun. Yet, there is still the stigma that people on their periods are overreacting and seeking attention, even though they may be having an internal war with themselves, facing a formidable opponent to their personal growth and success. 

While hormones are real chemicals that affect us, the destructive thoughts they bring do not in any way represent who we are, our intelligence, our talents and our overall mental health. It is natural to feel so emotionally distressed during menstruation that you may feel you can’t get out of bed. Hopelessness may cripple you, isolating you from the happiness you may have felt the day before and the happiness that may be found in the future. I assure you, the thoughts that are engendered during this time of the month can be soothed and there is always a way for you to prepare yourself mentally, before this self-deprecating version of yourself takes your place temporarily.

Before I began to question why I was feeling so despondent and angry during my period, I felt lonely and frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t control my emotions. This still happens now; sometimes I don’t even recognise who I am on my period. I find my thoughts being damaging towards my dreams, my regrets and my self courage. As someone who isn’t a stranger to ill-temper, I find that before, during and after my period, I react badly to those around me and I’ll admit, I say things I don’t mean and find no relief in slamming a door or two after an argument I caused to erupt. Feeling alone, I become restless, unable to sleep and losing passion for my interests. Finding control during menstruation isn’t a simple process and even after finding ways to cope, I sometimes find it impossible to counteract unhealthy thoughts. 
 
Imagine training to become an Olympic athlete, being dedicated to wake up early every morning and train, only to be told by your biggest supporter, AKA yourself, that you don’t deserve to succeed/ you can’t succeed/ you don’t want to. Not everyone has a lifelong ambition to become an athlete, but as humans, we strive to become better versions of ourselves, in whatever makes us happiest. Personally, I love to write, but I’ve found that on my period, I tend to doubt my writing ability and words I’ve written before suddenly seem worthless and terrible. I also find my brain trying to convince me I hate my favourite book and it can be difficult to find enjoyment in anything. This is reality; this is life, for a lot of us. But don’t be deterred from trying a few coping mechanisms, because I assure you, you don’t have anything to lose and some of these have really alleviated the symptoms I experience when on my period.

How to care for yourself during menstruation:

1. Be kind to yourself. Seriously, whenever you feel discomfort or the slightest bit of frustration in yourself, think: am I being kind to myself? How can I be kind to myself? Leaving tasks, sacrificing diets or simply letting yourself go from your responsibilities as a human being won’t make you suffer lifelong consequences. Whenever you can, give yourself a break, and NEVER feel guilty about doing so.
   
2. Make a ‘Comfort List.’ If you’re struggling to find happiness during your period, this can be something used to inspire your self-care. This can be anything from your favourite books and movies to your happy place(s) and your favourite snacks. I understand that your brain might try to convince you that you abhor your favourite TV series, but associating the items on the list with comfort can help to counteract this.
   
3. Find a Comfort Space. Create a mental association with this sanctuary for positive thoughts of solitude and peace. This may provide you with an escape and allow you to feel more at ease. You may be surrounded by blankets and pillows or sitting on a bench in the most tranquil part of your local park. Experiment!
   
4. Create a relaxing playlist. Chances are, with cramps and headaches, you won’t want to listen to punk rock while you’re in your comfort space. Pick the most soothing songs, ones that don’t invade your head with high pitched sounds, raging distorted guitars or cacophonous instrumentation. Find your comfort voice, one that instantly soothes those wrathful thoughts.
   
5. Forget about the past and the future. It can be incredibly difficult to drag yourself away from past regrets and trepidation about the future, even more so when you’re on your period. Try to focus on the present and connect with the atmosphere around you, or for some, it may help to transport yourself to another world, like in a fantasy novel.
   
6. Quotes! Download an app called Motivation or read some poetry. Write down the most uplifting ones in a journal for you to come back to. 
   
7. Stay away from caffeine, sugar and alcohol. These can aggravate headaches, cramps and disrupt your sleep. Drinking lots of water is so important, alongside fruit and vegetables.
   
8. REST! Pain may cause sleep deprivation, so if you can’t sleep, rest your eyes or just simply give yourself a few hours to relax.
   

How you can help others:

1. Give them physical and emotional space. Don’t suffocate them with demanding questions about their mental state or force them to tell you what’s bothering them. I find that a question that really infuriates me on my period and I struggle to answer is: are you okay? How are you? What’s wrong? Instead, become more practical. What can I do to help? Is there anything I can get you? If not, solitude may be what they need. Others may prefer a non-judgemental and supportive presence without directly asking about what they’re going through.
   
2. Silent understanding and unspoken support. Don’t remind them that they’re on their period, they know! 
   
3. Rise above hurtful comments. As I’ve mentioned before, unprovoked resentment is common during menstruation. If someone close to you has said something to instigate a dispute, they most likely didn’t mean it. If you have been affected by their words, talk to them about it later or talk to someone else. An argument may be what you think they’re looking for, but below the surface, this could distress them further.
   
4. Redirect their thoughts to a safer reality. If they are comfortable in talking, don’t mention that they’re bloated or have a sudden reappearance of spots. If they express doubts or anxieties, try not to offer a cliched response. Instead, reassure them that it’s okay to take a mental day off and come back to tackle the problem when they’re themselves again.
   

I cannot stress enough the importance of understanding mental health during menstruation, as if you’re not self-aware, you may not only hurt yourself but also hurt others. If you think you have severe symptoms, please don’t hesitate to see a doctor. There are many options out there and people who can help, such as cognitive behavioural therapy and fluoxetine- an antidepressant. If you already have a mental illness, your mental health can ameliorate during your period and you should never suffer alone. Talk to a loved one and explain how you’re feeling, as even if they don’t comprehend it now, they will once you have.

We’re here at TWE to help if you ever have any concerns or doubts and honestly, contact me or anyone from the team if you ever need someone to talk to.

-Nicole 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/

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​The word “creativity” can mean a variety of things. For some people, creativity is visual art, like painting or pottery. For others, creativity takes a less physical form through things like writing and music. From dancing, to photography, to poetry, it is clear that this word has an extremely broad definition. What things do these art forms have in common? Passion. Creativity is what drives people, giving them such an interesting emotional outlet. While this passion is usually positive, there are harsh expectations that get in the way of people expressing their creative interests. 

    It is not easy to pursue an interest when there are so many pressures to face. One of the most common issues people struggle with is the so-called “failure” to meet their own expectations. When there is a clear image in your head of what you want to express, the reality may be disappointing. Unfortunately, this fear of a mediocre outcome is what stops a lot of people from attempting to begin in the first place. 

    In addition to the internal struggles, there are plenty of external factors that contribute to the discouragement of creative hobbies. Though many do not outwardly admit it, social media plays a major role in our motivation. Sometimes it can drive people to create art only to post about it. Unfortunately, many people get too caught up in posting about their work rather than actually falling in love with it, therefore building extremely high expectations for themselves. Additionally, comparisons to other people can make it difficult to have confidence in your own work, which can also build up high expectations that may be difficult to achieve. 

    A few years ago when I was stressed with school, I used painting as a creative outlet. When I was completely invested in my work, I could release all my stress and worries onto the paper. It genuinely didn’t matter to me if the painting was messy, I was only focused on the joy of creating the piece. This delightfulness soon haltered once I started posting about it. 

    The thought of posting my work on social media created an ocean of presuppositions about when to post, what to paint, and if it even looked good enough to hit the public eye. What began as a hobby quickly transformed into a chore. As time passed, I began to realize how disappointing it was to allow my own standards to stop me from doing what I used to love. 
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After several attempts to continue my passion for art, I finally found some lasting solutions. The first being my promise that I wouldn’t paint with the intention of posting it after. Instead, I would be painting for my own validation. This helped me center my focus on the process of the piece as opposed to the outcome.  Another practice that really encouraged me to continue painting was setting realistic goals for myself. Instead of expecting to finish my work in only a few hours, I would set a goal to finish it in two or three days. That way, I could take breaks without feeling overwhelmed or guilty.​