Shark week

Disclaimer: This article is only my experience and uses rather theatrical language. If you came here seeking a realistic portrayal of periods, either refer to the last paragraph or talk to a trusted adult or doctor.

Since the beginning of time, women have had to deal with blood streaming out of their vagina while their hormones wreak havoc on their emotions and their uterus tries to consume them from the inside out; or at least that’s the description I use to terrify my guy friends. In reality, it’s pretty manageable for most. 

Let’s start with the science behind menstruation: It normally starts between the ages of 8 and 16 and continues its cycle until your 40s or 50s, when menopause begins (Read “Your Menstrual Cycle” on womenshealth.gov for more information). Each cycle lasts approximately 28 days; this includes the start of your period, the end of your period, ovulation, etc. Basically, during the 2-7+ day period, your eggs are maturing, meaning it’s ready to be fertilized. With this, your uterine lining thickens to prepare for the release of the eggs. If you don’t get pregnant during this ovulation period, your uterus realizes there is no use for it and sheds the blood that was making it thick and squishy. The tissue, blood, and nutrients flow out of your vagina – hence the red stained underwear - and you thank goodness you aren’t pregnant (Unless you’re trying to get pregnant, obviously)! This process causes physical symptoms such as cramps, bloating, nausea, breakouts, sore breasts, and fatigue along with emotional symptoms like mood swings.

Well, that was more than school will ever teach us about the female body! Now that we have that out of the way, I’ll explain the less gross and more mentally draining portion of periods. Keep in mind that periods are different for everyone. Some may have a short, light, and fairly easy experience while others, like me, book a vacation to hell for over a week. In fact, I’ve been described on many occasions as Satan while on my period, which is fair.

I have a love/hate relationship with my menstrual cycle. On one hand, it’s a sign I’m not pregnant; on the other, it pulverizes my physical and emotional being (which is just a bit dramatic). Before my lovely first visit from Aunt Flow, I was a rather stable person (excluding the severe depression, but that’s an article for another day). Then, I became this dramatic, sensitive, malicious blood-spewing ball of negativity. Anything and anyone irritates me, I feel like crying every 5 minutes, and my depression becomes seemingly amplified. If my mood swings weren’t enough, I also undergo truly monstrous cramps, an unnecessarily heavy flow, and extreme nausea. Thankfully, I only endure this side of myself like 2-4 times a year as it’s quite irregular. 

If you also endure the devil in your uterus, here are some things I have found to be helpful during those times:

• Cramps: HEATING PADS and your choice of pain medication!! I can’t stress enough how much they help me. You can buy the medication over the counter, unless those don’t help then you should talk to your doctor and get a prescription for a heavier medication meant to relieve periods. I find exercise, curling into a ball and crying, a long nap, and masturbation also aid in cramp relief.
• Mood swings: I would recommend avoiding or eliminating all triggers. If there is a specific person or thing that you know will annoy you, either talk to the person and let them know that you are simply not in the head space to hang out or speak to them (but don’t be rude) or steer clear of them. Additionally, try to find something that calms you. Personally, watching my favorite show, reading my favorite book, or taking a few minutes out of my day to abuse my pillows works well.

​For those of you who haven’t experienced your period yet, the depiction mentioned above is a dramatic way of describing my experience. Like I said before, no menstrual cycle is the same. You might not have a terrible cycle – however if you do, refer to the advice above. They also aren’t some nasty, taboo thing that shouldn’t be talked about. They’re something normal that should be talked about more. Always remember your body is a perfectly beautiful and normal thing! 

-Katelyn

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