For nearly 3 years now I’ve been suffering from Non-Epileptic Seizures. It all started back in 2018 when I was on my way back from London and woke up on a train station platform. The train staff were very comforting, letting me know what happened.
What I wasn’t expecting was what the reason was for me to be lying on the train station platform. One of the kind staff said to me, “Melissa, you have had a seizure, we’ve phoned your dad and he’s on his way. We got your information from your passport and then contacted your emergency contact”.
At first, I was panicking, as I’d never had a seizure before I was never known to have them. But my brother was! He was epileptic and on the way back from the station I was with my dad in the car and all these questions were going around in my head.
“What has caused this seizure to happen?”
“Did I knock my head hard on the floor?” - As I had an awful headache after the incident.
What I didn’t realise was what effect this would have later on in my life. I would start to have daily seizures and this restricted me from working as I was working in a nightclub at the time. So, when I went to get tested, they ruled out it was epileptic seizures at first.
But, a few months on, it was proven not to be epileptic seizures; it was a case of Non-Epileptic seizures. At first, I had no knowledge of what this diagnosis was but by doing my own research I have average knowledge of what it is now.
Today, 3 years on I still suffer from these seizures and they have changed my life. They have caused me to go jobless and not be fit to work. That means I’m stuck at home all day every day. Also not being allowed to drive as it’s dangerous if I do so. That limited me to where I can go as I live on the outskirts of my town.
But what has affected me the most is losing my friends. I’ve lost a lot of my friends due to these seizures as my friends are scared to be around me. At first, they were okay with it but as it became a regular thing they just got fed up, I guess.
I was touring with my friends known as Jedward and I had a seizure just before the concert. So this leads to an ambulance being called and the decision my friends had to make, ‘Who would go with me in the ambulance?’
Luckily I felt okay after a check-up in the ambulance and I was bouncing back half an hour later just in time for the concert. It was a weird experience. Normally when I have a seizure, I have a massive headache and I’m drained but this time that wasn’t the case.
After this experience, I did learn who my true friends were but I also learnt that I can’t expect everyone to wait around for me. I would want them to enjoy their time and not be in an ambulance missing the concert.
3 years ago, yes this would have upset me to see my friends leave me to go to the concert without me, but now, I see it as a positive because I’m not dragging them behind and making them miss out on a fun experience.
It’s grand to realize that everything happens for a reason, you find out who your true friends are the hard way. But then again do you have to see it like that? Try to turn it into a positive so it’s good for your mindset.