Guy Friends

I am currently facetiming one of my closest friends who just so happens to be a guy. I know, shock horror. 

Yes, these relationships do exist! And no, I have no feelings of any kind towards this guy sitting eating edible paper in front of me.

This is a friend who I can laugh with about inappropriate subjects and act goofy around without any fear of judgement. We understand each other and constantly make fun of each other. This is why our friendship is so strong. 

I know, however, that these relationships can be ridiculed and judged by others. In the past, I have been ‘shipped’ with my ‘guy friends’. People made fun of how close we were and said we should date. I naively thought that they were being genuine, instead of just ‘funny’, and dated these boys. Shockingly enough, none of these relationships lasted too long. This was simply because we just weren’t meant to be any more than friends. The worse thing was that, after the relationships fell apart, so did our friendships. You need to understand what you are risking before you get into a relationship with someone.

However,  sometimes it is difficult to tell whether you like someone as more than friends or not. You don’t want to ruin your friendship, but they seem to make you happier than anyone else and you can’t wait to see them. There are a few ‘tells’ which help me when deciding whether or not I like someone as more than a friend.

Firstly, do you find them attractive? I know this sounds shallow, but it actually isn’t. A relationship is largely based on physical attraction. Of course, you have to like their personality, but if that’s all you like, then they may be more suited as a friend. 

Second, are they easy to talk to? This doesn’t mean you can talk for hours and hours on end, because that’s practically impossible. However, if you feel awkward or uncomfortable around them, this might be a sign that they aren’t right for you. Also, please remember that people can behave very differently over text, so make sure you have talked to someone face-to-face to truly know if your personalities are compatible.

Thirdly, do they show any signs of wanting more. It would be pretty disappointing if you work yourself up about whether you want to be in a relationship with someone when they aren’t thinking the same thing. If you catch them staring at you or making an effort to spend more time with you (preferably alone), then it is possible they do, which means you may be more suited for a relationship.

If none of these apply to your ‘guy friend’, then you probably aren’t ‘meant to be’. Remember, this isn’t a bad thing! In fact, being friends with people of the opposite gender can be very rewarding. They can give you insight into life on the ‘other side’ and you can talk about things that might not be appropriate in a relationship. They may even help you find ‘the one’! 

Chloë​