Autism differs from one autistic person to the next. Assuming that all autistic people require the same amount of attention and support is absurd. I have often found myself unsure about how to act or be helpful towards my autistic friends and I know for many others starting to gain more awareness about autism; you may be in the same situation. Autism is a disability that affects how people communicate and interact with the world. Despite this, autistic people still have ways of interacting with the world as best they can. People often think those with autism lack empathy. That is simply not true. In fact, they are highly concerned about the feelings of others, more often than not. Other misconceptions include autism being a disease, vaccinations and bad parenting causing autism, and autism becoming an epidemic. These myths come about by those who aren't properly educated about autism. Therefore, as more awareness is being created around autism, it is important to understand how to support your autistic friends. I often considered myself as someone who struggled to be a good autistic ally. With my first autistic friend, I wasn't sure how to support them and it felt like I was being constantly unhelpful. I didn't know how to help them in high-stress situations or situations that cause sensory overload. over sensory situations. I didn't know what stimming mechanisms they used. I didn't know how to understand them. This was all before I learnt to be patient and listen. I was listening to my friend explain themselves as well as watching their actions to understand how they overcome a situation. This way I could replicate the same support to make it easier for them. I currently have many autistic friends which experience their autism differently. are all on different parts of the spectrum. They are what led me to write this article. If they're comfortable with answering, I like to ask how their autism affects them and what I can do to support them so that I can make sure I do my best at being an ally. Here are some words of advice and suggestions that I have gathered along the way of asking them: 1. Treat them like they're a normal person. Being autistic doesn't mean that they are a freak or distinct from the rest of humanity. They just want to be treated as normal. This can happen through acceptance, love and inclusion. Accept them for who they are and love them all the same. Don't leave them out from activities or events you have with your other friends. 2. Everyone on the autism spectrum is different and for someone to ask an autistic person to make noises is a horrible thing to do. Not everyone on the spectrum is like that and no one should assume that they are. Respect them for who they are. 3. Allow them to stim if they need to. Stimming is a repeated action using body parts or objects to help reduce stress or anxiety levels. It could include the tapping of fingers, jumping, spinning, rocking, flicking of objects, or even twirling a piece of string. Some autistic people do it for fun, others do it as an attempt to gain or reduce sensory input. Some situations can cause a high amount of stress and stimming can help that. Please do not treat them as if they are weird for stimming. They are not freaky, weird or embarrassing for their stimming and for just being themselves. If their stimming mannerisms bother you, please let them know in a polite way. 4. Have patience. A lot of it. Autistic people process things differently and as a result, may come across to you as strange and weird. You must remember to have patience, tolerance and understanding in these cases. For example, understanding why they may leave a situation where it is loud as it could be a result of sensory overload. Patience can make an autistic person feel more comfortable, especially when voicing their feelings as they can be really hard to articulate at times. 5. Which is why this point is very important: refrain from talking over them. Most times autistic people don't need someone to speak for them and if they did, they would request that. It is extremely frustrating for them to be babied or interrupted just because they're autistic. For example, not calling out their deficiencies in social skills unless they've told you. They're trying extremely hard to mask that so they would feel uncomfortable if they were called out in it without their consent. They do not need an advocate for their voice, they just need time and patience to express their own. 6. Even the littlest things are seen as support, for example- putting subtitles on when watching something to support their audio processing. Remember, being autistic is a part of them and the spectrum is so big that it affects every autistic person differently. You need to ensure you have patience and understanding so you can start your journey to being a good ally. Be kind and love each other. Tabitha
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Religion is a very passionate concept. Many people base their lifestyle on their beliefs and spend their whole lives worshiping or aiming to please/idolise one, or many, or nothing. Meanwhile, others will have beliefs but only follow the basic codes/morals of said religion and not throw themselves towards it. Religion has a huge variety of cultures and beliefs. There are many religions in the world, some examples being Judaism, Hinduism, Wicca, and Asatru. All these religions, and many more, come with a variety of passionate and part believers/followers, plus a huge amount of ‘rules’, rituals and services. Sometimes there can be clashes between religions and sometimes there can be harmony. Nevertheless, there is an abundance of faiths to choose from. However, a huge problem can lie when you want to officially convert to a religion when you are already considered part of another. I was a Catholic child by my own decision. Admittedly, I went to a Christian school, but when I was seven I decided to be Baptised at my Church. I became a server, made friends (old and young) from the Parish and really enjoyed myself. But years later, I discovered Wicca, a modern Pagan religion, which I clicked with right away. I read books and researched its holidays, traditions, morals etc. and fell in love! Then it hit me: I was still a Catholic who was meant to pretty much go against a lot of the Pagan traditions and follow the word of God. I was on two different sides of the spectrum and had NO idea what to do. I still had an attachment to Christianity but Wicca was the way forward for me. I kept it from my family as I knew they would, unfortunately, laugh at the idea of Wicca, but spoke to some friends about my conundrum. It was a mixed reaction and by the end of it, I still didn’t know what to do. Did I still believe in God? Did He know I was considering becoming Wicca? What if the Wiccans laughed at me? What if I’m judged by anyone and everyone? What does it all mean? I was convinced that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. This lasted until I followed a witch on TikTok who posted a video preaching about validation for Christian witches. CHRISTIAN WITCHES!! I was elated and had never felt more at peace with myself. Through this one amazing women’s ability to share love and peace, I found myself very unexpectedly. I learned from this experience how hard a conflict in beliefs can be. Luckily for me, no ceremonial conversion was needed, but I know in many cases it can lead to arguments between friends and family (for example, a Jew wanting to convert to Islam would be rather difficult to do, depending on the family of course). I think the best thing to do is to always trust your gut instinct. If you are stuck in a religion that you do not believe in, it can lead to difficulties in the future and sometimes make you quite miserable and drained. Don’t forget that if people don't think your beliefs are valid or do not support you in your endeavours, then they are not worth the friendship! Here are some simple things you can do if you are unsure about your beliefs:
I hope that this advice helped you in your struggles, and may you have a wonderful life being comfortable and at peace with your beliefs. Inge‘She sat still and waited for the sign of approval from her husband.’ Oddly, I haven’t taken this sentence straight out of a novel but the level of familiarity accompanying it is honestly unnerving. You’d expect that in the 21st century, hearing something like that would be eccentric; yet here we are. The ideology of a woman as a trophy for display originated in the past when the sole purpose of a woman was to be the wife. She was to stay at home and take care of her family in exchange for the security of the breadwinner i.e. the husband. Times have changed, nonetheless, people still continue to leave careless remarks, not knowing the imprint they leave behind. ‘May I speak to the man of the house?’ ‘ You run like a girl.’ ‘Is that what you’re wearing?’ The issue here is that our society still struggles to accept those who don’t fit into their standardised avatars, and this causes unwanted distress. For example, as a woman should not feel as if it is a necessity for her to be with her child from day till night. No, her husband is not babysitting today. It is his child too. Sadly, women always find themselves playing this coerced role. I was getting ready to go downstairs for my 17th birthday party. It was a small get-together consisting of only close family. I looked at my reflection in the mirror opposite me. I felt pretty. It was an outfit inspired by a series of aesthetic images on Pinterest. But as I walked downstairs, I could feel the heavy stares targeting me as my mum pulled me to the side. I was confused as I listened to her words. The criterion for a woman was not met. And this was the moment, ladies and gentlemen, where the tower of confidence, which took years to build, collapsed within a split second. Often, we forget that we don’t need validation from others to live as we please. It is essential that we work to break the images that society has crafted of women/females playing a similar role to the women in a Shakespearean play. Even the number of children’s fairy tales I’ve read with the woman waiting for a strong man to save her is just boundless. She is not a computer programmed to conduct domestic chores and she is not a damsel in distress. She is her own person. This leads me to wonder “How can we shatter these conceptions?” Next time, confront the perpetrator instead of staying quiet. It is important that we voice our opinions in the moment rather than dwell on what we could have done in the past. However derogatory you think they may sound, maintain a calm and composed posture as you respond with ‘Why is that?’. The intention here is not to completely undermine another individual but to allow them to reflect upon the absurdity of their words. Perhaps, they’ll be able to understand and educate themselves; thus you are taking the first step into the reformation of how our society perceives women. A woman does not need approval from anyone but herself. We are all our own people; no two people in this universe are the same. Equality is not only part of our rights but also part of human decency, so don’t hesitate to respond to critical remarks however harmless they may seem! Divaani‘Can you please repeat what you want to say again?’--- I have to hear this question usually every day. My words spread out when I speak fast- mainly because I am excited or nervous. At that time, no one understands my words- it’s obvious. So I don’t hold any grudges towards people if they say they didn’t understand my words or I have to explain to them again slowly. But I feel guilty or depressed inside because I can’t always make people understand my words nor I can speak slowly. There are many causes of speech impediments or disorders. I guess my one is due to respiratory weakness as I have a dust allergy for which I catch coughs and colds very often; so I can’t speak long sentences sometimes as I can’t keep my breath for long. When I was young, I couldn’t talk clearly because of my disorganized and misplaced teeth. Some of my cousins used to ask why I am like this. I was really sad and used to come to my mom crying. She understood my feelings and tried to talk to my dad about fixing my teeth, but he didn’t listen to my mom. He said that I was too small to get teeth braces or any other procedures. So I had to grow up listening to people talking about my unclear speech behind my back. I did get teeth braces after turning 16. After 2 years of patience, my teeth got fixed, but still, my words remained unclear as my lower jaw is slightly misplaced. I put my heart and soul to fix my speech impediment but still, I feel frustrated and insecure about what people may think about me. But I did try some tips for improving my speech- 1. Try to use small sentences or phrases by breaking up long ones. You can easily speak slowly using small sentences and it’ll be clear. 2. Some mild speech disorders can be treated with speech therapy. I didn’t do therapy because I believe I don’t have a disorder, it’s mainly due to my slightly displaced jaw. 3. Though I didn’t do therapy, I tried some breathing exercises which really helped me. 4. Try not to speak when you are excited or angry as it will make the sentences more unclear and you may become frustrated if anyone asks you to say the words again. Try to make yourself calm before talking to someone in excitement. How can you help someone with a speech impediment or communication problems?
Resources on Speech Disorders: The following resources may help those who are seeking more information about speech impediments. Health Information: Information and statistics on common voice and speech disorders from the NIDCD Speech Disorders: Information on childhood speech disorders from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center Speech, Language, and Swallowing: Resources about speech and language development from the ASHA AninditaWhen hearing the word “daydreaming”, I imagine getting briefly distracted in math class before snapping myself out of it. That may not necessarily align with how you imagine daydreaming, but in the end, it can be harmless. Daydreaming is defined as separating oneself from external reality and immersing oneself in their head. It is surprisingly very common among people. A study conducted by Harvard in 2010 found that people spend about 47% of their waking hours daydreaming. Upon hearing that statistic, you might panic and think that is too much time to spend daydreaming; however, a wandering mind can be beneficial as it can motivate you. If daydreaming can be harmless, why am I writing this article? In my case, I am not just daydreaming, but I am maladaptive daydreaming. Maladaptation is defined as the inability to adequately adjust in an environment or situation. Maladaptive daydreaming are daydreams that are so intense, they can interfere with daily life. I have suffered from these for years, they became the most prominent when I was in middle school. I knew that I had an issue when I started to feel genuine emotions from my daydreams. If you are hoping that I somehow overcame these intense daydreams and am sharing my advice, I am sorry to inform you that is not the case. Writing this article allowed me to learn more about this condition and explore the possible causes and solutions for my problem. I spend a significant amount of my waking hours daydreaming, a lot more than the common 47%. The content of my daydreams are intense as well. In my head, I have created a whole new life, the only thing I have kept is my name. I will not be going into details about what these daydreams hold, due to sheer embarrassment, but at least I can recognize this is not normal. Anyone who suffers from maladaptive daydreaming can agree that we have had issues arrive from our inability to live outside of our heads. The list I have provided below are issues I have because of my maladaptive daydreaming.
Along with the issues I have from maladaptive daydreaming, it is important to target the causes for my refusal to face reality. Facing these and figuring out healthier ways to cope is vital in the process of stopping my maladaptive daydreaming.
The good thing about this situation is my awareness that I am daydreaming too vividly and too much. Unfortunately, it is not officially recognized as an illness, but it is much rather seen as a symptom of other illnesses. Maladaptive daydreaming is the most present in people with anxiety, depression, and OCD. While I am not clinically diagnosed with any of these conditions, I know that I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming and I hope to eventually overcome it. Maladaptive daydreaming is an addiction for me. My fantasy world constantly entices me, even when I am in the middle of a social interaction. I hope that my experiences with this condition has helped other people realize they need help, or even educate people who may not suffer from this. Maladaptive daydreaming is an issue that needs to be talked about more, and I hope that it becomes a stronger talking point when it comes to mental health. CamilleFirst of all, what is an energy drink and why is it so popular? An energy drink consists of stimulant compounds which in other words, are drugs that increase your brain activity and nervous system. The reason it has become so popular over the years is that people are replacing food with energy drinks. We get our natural energy from food but when you have had a busy day, running low on energy, we turn to energy drinks. Society has been brainwashed into thinking energy drinks are the ‘quick and easy’ way for a fast boost of energy. But, the question is, ‘am I addicted to energy drinks?’ In today’s society, energy drinks and teenagers have become known to mix, that’s exactly what happened to me. My first encounter with tasting an energy drink was back in high school in the year 2010 Let’s just say that since tasting ‘Orange Lucozade’ I’ve become hooked on it. Over the past decade, I can admit that I believe I’m addicted to Lucozade for the wrong reasons. I rely on this energy drink to get me through the day. If you’ve been following my mental health journey throughout the years, you’ll know I suffer from ‘Bulimia Nervosa’ which is a type of eating disorder. I’ve replaced my intake of food with Lucozade (which I know is not healthy at all) but this is when I’ve realised I’m addicted. In the long run, energy drinks can cause health problems, some of which are:
Those are just some of the negative causes that energy drinks can do to your brain and body. Reading more about it has opened my eyes and educated me more about the dangers of energy drinks. Some alternative drinks that I found helpful and replaceable were; - Blue Powerade (It’s full of flavour and that’s what got me addicted to Lucozade) - Lucozade Sport (This is a non-fizzy type of Lucozade which helps when it’s hot!) - Flavoured Water (I’m still trying this one out as it’s very different to an energy drink, but it’s healthier so I better get drinking!) I would consider myself addicted to energy drinks and it’s hard to break the cycle of intake. Would you consider it an addiction like smoking or drugs? MelYou’re either a cat person or a dog person. I am a hundred per cent a dog person. These balls of fluff are known for their loyalty and as a pet parent to two little doggos I know how true that is, as they are there following me all the time. It can even be a little creepy at times! But it is nice to know that there is someone there. However, if you’re not a hundred per cent sold on getting a dog (or if you’re trying to convince someone to get a dog),here are my reasons: They give you a reason to get up in the morning. It is so easy to just stay in bed all day and binge Netflix. But when you’ve got a dog, you need to get up. For things such as letting them out for a wee or feeding them. Also, they get you out and about. For a daily walk, which is really important for your dog’s health but also your health. So, do some stretches, lace up your trainers and grab your lead,and head out there! Remember, how I said they’re always there. Well, that is what makes them such great company. They will go for those walks, they will play in the garden with you and they’ll even cuddle up on the couch with you. If you do let your dog sit on the couch I recommend putting a blanket down for them so that they don't scratch the furniture. The reason that I got my dog is because my Mum had gotten ill with cancer. As she was at home all day and wanted some company. So, my dog Nala (named after the Lion King and not Zoe Sugg's pug!) was there for my Mum throughout the day to go on walks with, watch TV with and even to talk to. Then after my Mum passed away, Nala was there to hug whenever I felt down and gave me a reason to get up in the mornings. She also missed my Mum and would sit on the couch in my Mum's spot. But be prepared that if you do decide to get a dog they aren’t all cuddles and fluff. There is lots of hard work that goes into caring for them, such as those daily walks, trips to the vets and picking up poop. So remember with great power comes great responsibility. JoshDissociative identity disorder, (DID) (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) is a trauma-based personality disorder that forms in childhood, usually as a result of repeated trauma before the personality fully forms. This causes a split in the personality of the person, creating two or more distinct personality states, otherwise known as alters. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding DID as the condition is quite a complex one, however, it’s not as uncommon as you may think, it’s thought that around 1-3% of the population have a diagnosis of DID which is around the same amount of people that are redheads, so it is so important that you know the truth about this disorder. Here are some common misconceptions surrounding DID and how it actually is to experience this. (DISCLAIMER: DID is different for everyone and my experience may differ from someone else, do not take my word as gospel) 1. Alters are “evil sides” of the host. This is what a lot of people seem to think and that just simply isn’t the case. There are different roles within the system and although there are alters known as “persecutors” in some systems, they aren’t evil, and they typically don’t understand that what they are doing is wrong. 2. It’s obvious when someone switches. This is an extremely common misconception, but in reality, switches are really subtle. It can be as simple as seeming as if you’re spacing out, or sometimes not even that. Unless you know about someone’s DID and how the different alters act, you likely won’t even notice the switch. Only 5-6% of DID systems have an overt presentation of their alters. Although some alters do have different accents, genders, sexualities, mannerisms etc. most alters will do their best to mirror the host as a way to keep the system safe. 3. If you had DID, you wouldn’t know. Now this one can sometimes be the case. I went most of my life not knowing about my DID, but what I did know was I was losing periods of time, and my friends and family knew what I’d done during that time and I didn’t recall any of it. About two years ago one of my alters presented themself to me and that’s how I found out, I then later got a diagnosis from my therapist. Although initially, it is common to have no awareness of their trauma self-awareness is possible at any time, it’s not uncommon for people to find out about alters and recognise switches through letters or journals entries that they can’t remember writing, items of clothing that they didn’t buy amongst other things. 4. DID can develop at any age. This is most certainly not the case. DID can only develop in early childhood, usually before the ages of 4 and 9 which is before the personality fully forms. It’s important to note that there are other dissociative disorders that may develop slightly later on, but for DID, it is physically impossible for this to develop after early childhood. 5. Parts of a DID system are just variations of the host at different ages and times in their life when trauma took place. This is most definitely not the case. Alters can be any age, gender, nationality or personality type, for example, I have a 19-year-old male, a 25-year-old female, and a six-year-old female amongst many others. Alters are not just fragments of the host that are “frozen” in time marked by when trauma took place, as for a lot of systems, trauma took place every single day. Many alters are not associated with any specific trauma, but still have an important role in the mind. 6. Integration is necessary to live a normal life or is everyone’s goal in therapy. For some people, this is the case, but this is up to the system to decide, for me and my system, we have decided we don’t wish to integrate, plainly because we can live a perfectly normal life without doing so. 7. You can “kill” alters. This is physically not possible. Although alters can go dormant, they are not dead, they just disappear for a long time. 8. DID isn’t real and anyone who says they have DID is a faker. This is definitely not the case. DID is a recognised diagnosis worldwide and saying that it isn’t real is the same as saying that schizophrenia or OCD isn’t real, invalidating a mental illness can be extremely damaging for someone, even if someone was faking, it’s not anyone’s place to say so. There are a lot of other misconceptions surrounding this disorder as it’s not seen by most people that often, but in order to fully understand this disorder, it’s important to listen to people’s experiences with DID and be willing to understand. If you want more information on DID, I recommend Dissociadid on youtube:(https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5xIFvWyLlytv5pTR1w) Their videos really helped me to understand my system more. If you need to talk to anyone about DID, you can message me on Instagram: @mummysbrattybunnyboo or you can message us on any of our social media platforms here at TWE. If you are struggling with DID, it is super important that you get the right support, whether that be from a therapist, your doctor or an online support system. DID can be extremely dangerous if you are struggling alone and after everything I’ve been through without support, I would never wish that on anyone else. Remember no matter what you aren’t alone and you are loved and understood. For the third time in some people’s university careers, lecturers and support staff at a number of UK universities are going on strike. They are striking due to issues around casualisation (a large percentage of staff are on zero-hour contracts, and are working second jobs to keep afloat), pension changes, low pay and high workload. Many students are against the strikes, as we miss out on contact hours, meetings, lectures, seminars and assignments that we technically pay for. First of all, what is a strike? A strike occurs when a workforce is unhappy with the way they are treated by an employer (in this case, the University itself), so they withdraw their labour, and stop working altogether in protest of conditions. The most famous strike is likely the miners strike of 1984, in which the miners union protested mass closures of mines. The miners withdrew their labour and threw the country into turmoil, as there was now no one mining for coal (which the country relied on at the time). A picket line is something commonly associated with a strike. A picket line is a physical line that staff will stand on (usually outside of their place of work), which they will not cross to go into work, and will encourage others to also not cross. It is important to remember that those who choose to strike don’t get paid for their time doing so, and many run the risk of damaging their careers, as employers obviously don’t care for people who strike. You might be thinking, why do strikes affect me? I’m not a miner, or a factory worker, or a lecturer! The thing is, strikes affect everyone. University staff striking affects the students who are missing out on contact hours, the families of the striking staff who are going without pay, the parents of students who are paying for university, the university itself and many other companies who work with the university to provide a service or run events. However, the most important thing about striking, in my opinion, is whether you support them or not. Here are some things you can do if you support the strikes:
And if you don’t support the strikes (which is completely within your rights, please don’t let another person shame you or put you down for not supporting something!):
KaitlynBecoming a member of the TWE team was really a lifesaving opportunity for me. I’ve been suffering from mental health issues for over a decade now, and I was finding it hard to see my worth in life and also finding it hard to focus on things too. This lovely girl called Emily, the founder of TWE, reached out to me on Twitter. I like to use Twitter to share my experience with mental health and love reaching out to others who need the support that I have now. Emily direct messaged me on Twitter saying that she had been reading a few of my tweets and she thought I could offer something special to TWE, and she had also seen that I loved to help people too. I was talking to Emily about what TWE was about and she was really informative so I agreed to join the team! The reason I agreed to join Teenagers With Experience was that I have spent my whole life helping people with tough situations and it makes me feel proud of myself. But my problem was that I never take my own advice, I love being a part of TWE because it gives me a chance to use my advice and experience to share with the world that they are not alone. No one should ever suffer in silence like I did when I was first getting bullied. After leaving high school I didn’t really have a reason to wake up, I never had a daily schedule to keep me busy. So that’s why TWE really was a lifesaving opportunity for me! Now, I do have a reason to wake up and I always have something to do when it comes to TWE. I’ve learnt so many new skills whilst I’ve been a part of the team, like how to use Google Drive properly to store articles that I write for the website, and also to schedule posts for our social media too. I’ve also gained more confidence in opening up about my past and accepting things that may have been bothering me. One of the main reasons why I think people should join our team at Teenagers With Experience is to gain new friends that are non-judgemental. We offer advice and support from our own experiences and also from our hearts. TWE is a loving and caring place where I feel safe!
MelHave you ever wondered why the majority of people in our society have become so captivated by various social media sites? It has become a habit for many to check it constantly, worrying about what is trending or what people think of them. Social media is a great source of communication, for the most part, but the impact on mental health can be severe. We must emphasise why it does not have to control your life and how you can, in fact, control it yourself. Be honest with yourself and answer this: how long do you actually spend on social media per day? What do you turn to when you have completed your daily routine and need to wind down? Is it fair to say that your mobile phone may be holding you back? It is not a negative thing to be socially active on the Internet, but as a teenager, you may find it refreshing to take a step back. I know that may sound cliché but I have found that it is true and it is surprising how much productivity increases when you take more breaks. Thinking back to a few years ago, I remember coming home from school, sitting down with my phone and spending so long on it until the battery was practically dead. Some days I would even sit there until it was 7 PM and it was time for dinner. Honestly, I can’t comprehend how I coped with homework and my mental well-being. Perhaps I did find some enjoyment in scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, but now I have come to realise how consuming that lifestyle really was. Now, when I come home from school, I don’t even think about going on my phone for hours. I have learned to adopt the mindset that allows me to stay motivated and complete tasks, not just because they’re necessary, but also because I want to. I read somewhere that “humans will do more to avoid pain than find pleasure.” Therefore, procrastinating becomes second nature, because we have trained our minds to think this provides us with an escape from pain. But, what if we can find pleasure in being productive instead? Think of an essay you need to write and instead of thinking “I have to write an essay”, think “I get to write an essay”. It is a great feeling reminding yourself of the reward of finishing homework, or the result of spending time revising for a test. So, that’s what I focus on instead. So, by focusing on what is good for you, you are already reducing the hold social media has on you. I honestly feel it is so refreshing. My advice to readers would, therefore, be to control social media and prevent it from controlling you. Trust me, scrolling through Instagram for 30 minutes a day is so much more interesting than scrolling mindlessly for 3 hours, desperately searching for new content. It can be quite scary to think about the future but preparing for it productively will provide you with much more satisfaction than social media ever can. To remove the habit of checking your phone, the most obvious way would be to put it in a drawer in the other room. However, there are other options:
To summarise, reducing your time on social media is not only beneficial to your mental health in the short term but helps you in the long term. After learning to stop checking it, I have found that my life has become much more productive and I feel happier as a result. Removing it from your life completely is not always necessary but taking a break can be crucial! Remember that social media does NOT control you if you do not allow it to. Be your own master! Apps/websites that can help you stay off social media: Self-control- an extension for your computer and an app that stops you from checking customised websites that you add yourself Pomodoro tomato timer- allows you to spend 25 minutes working and then 5 minutes on a break on a loop. This means that you manage the amount of time you concentrate and it allows you to enjoy time away from your work without sacrificing precious time! I also love the to-do list feature so you can know exactly what you need to do. Hold- an app that times the amount of work you do and grows a tree while you do it- this is quite satisfying! POSITIVES:
TO IMPROVE:
- Nicole NicoleOkay, so a lot of people have their own viewpoints on what autism actually is, and a lot of these opinions are media based. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a developmental disorder, and has many different factors, including but not limited to, social interaction, communication (both verbal and non-verbal), intellectual capacity and repetitive behaviours. When people hear autism, they typically think of Rainman, Sheldon Cooper, or the highly intelligent, quiet person at school that is socially awkward. That is autism, but that isn’t solely what it is. I was diagnosed a few months ago with high-functioning autism. This basically means that I’m able to communicate to a degree, although I find it difficult, and I struggle picking up on a lot of different social cues, and struggle in some social situations. I do have a higher IQ than a lot of people my age, and I have some extreme obsessions, namely with music. It’s my strongest passion. Mention George Ezra or Lewis Capaldi and I could talk for hours with no issues. It took 17 years for me to actually be diagnosed, because first of all, I’m a girl. There are so many differences between boys and girls being diagnosed. Boys display autism differently from girls. It’s so much harder to receive a correct diagnosis as a girl, often being told that it’s “typical girl behaviour” because of our obsessions, or social awkwardness and that all girls do it. I showed behaviours from a young age, but was told “I’ll grow out of it.” I didn’t. Fast forward to age 15, I was receiving some help for my anxiety when I was asked about my thoughts on Autism, and if I thought I maybe had it. At first, I was in denial, going off the stereotypes. I did some research, and deliberated for a while. It makes so much sense. I went through a test called an ADOS, which is used to help diagnose autism in children and young people, and a week later I was given a diagnosis. I’ve found over the past few months, when I tell people about autism, or have seen other things on social media, there are a lot of misconceptions and people jump to conclusions. I want to address a few of these. “You don’t look autistic.” This is probably one of the worst things that you can say to someone who has been diagnosed. There isn’t a set look when you’re autistic, it’s not like we have 3 eyes or a horn coming out of our heads. “Oh my god you must be so smart can you do my homework?” No. I’m not doing your maths homework. Or your science homework. I’m hopeless at both, they’re not my thing at all. “Are you sure you’re autistic? You don’t act like it?” This is one of the more annoying ones, where people look taken aback because you’re actually able to engage in conversation. “Don’t you have those ear defenders things?” Nope, I like to joke about it with close friends, but I can actually process a lot of sensory things. They’re helpful, but I’m not reliant on them. Now this one is even more annoying, but people try to compare me to another autistic person they know. “Oh but my friend's cousin's sister is autistic and she’s non-verbal.” Okay? It’s called a SPECTRUM. Where everyone is completely different. This also means it isn’t just a straight line, with non-verbals at one end, and high functioning, maths geniuses at the other. It’s so much more complex than that. No two autistics are the same. So, I hope I helped with some of the misconceptions. For any autistics, or those waiting to be diagnosed, if you ever want help, I’d highly recommend looking at the National Autistic Society’s website. They have a lot of information, and in some areas, they even have support groups, which I personally think could be brilliant! -Alicia Alicia
There. You did it. You’ve come out to your parents. You’ve said those magic words. Light or dark magic, it could go either way. You wait anxiously for the infinite yet instantaneous reaction your parents are bound to have. We might expect our parents and loved ones to react to extremes. They are either supportive and accepting, or they could make coming out seem like the biggest mistake of your life. I think that a lot of us think that there is no in-between because of the portrayal ‘coming out’ has on the media. But what if your loved ones’ reactions are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum? Neither completely accepting nor distraught. It can still sting to be in a situation like this. What do you do? Is there a way out of this? I came out on a whim a few months ago. I was in the middle of one of my routinely ‘let’s complain about everything’ sessions with one of my friends, and I randomly wanted to come out to my mom. We were probably talking about how trapped we felt at home and how suffocating it felt to be in quarantine, which is what probably catalyzed my urge to come out. I knew that if I was going to come out to someone, it was going to be my mom. She and I are close and she’s not as religious as the rest of my family, so I knew that my only chance of being accepted by a family member was by my mom. So I left my friend waiting on facetime and approached my mom. Here’s a very brief summary of the conversation: Me: Uhh, I’ve got something to tell you Mom : *looks away from the TV and stares at me* Me: I…... like girls Mom: *stares harder* My Brain: ohmygodohmygodohgod what did you do you are an idiot why in the world would you even you’ve made the dumbest move in the entire universe ahhhhHHHHHHHHhh Mom: what? Me: Yeah, it’s been on my mind for a long time. Mom: I don’t know what to say; ignore it. It’s just a phase. *end of conversation* Ignore it. That was basically what my mother said. And then we both proceeded to act as nothing had happened. I was expecting a recreation of what I’d seen on TikTok. Happy hugs, relief, and joyful tears or the exact opposite. I wasn’t expecting to be left in the middle. It really stung to find out that my mom (and therefore the rest of my family) didn’t accept me. I never got my ‘I love you for who you are and everything will be fine’ hug. She told me that I should ignore any feelings about girls and just focus on school, and down the line I’d probably end up with a boy. I felt empty. Like I wasn’t a part of my family anymore. But I wasn’t abused or kicked out, and it could’ve been worse, but it still did hurt a lot. Because of this turn of events, I’m in a position where I’m out to my parents, but my parents pretend it never happened. So I basically had to walk and sit back down in my closet. My foot was stuck at the door. I thought that coming out to my family would be liberating. I wanted to be myself at home, which was important at the time because of quarantine. I wanted to cut my hair really short and give in to my masculine side a bit more. I wanted to talk about the women I thought were gorgeous and not the men that should be on my mind. But I couldn’t. I still wanted to celebrate though. Coming out felt like a milestone to me and I wanted to treat myself. I wanted to buy myself a pride flag, get some pride apparel, or even just paint a little rainbow in my room. But each idea was shot down by my parents and I couldn’t do anything about it. I only made it out because of my friends. They listened to me whenever I needed them. They were the ones that kept reminding me that I was perfect and they never let me forget that they accepted me. I’m eternally grateful for them. They even offered to smuggle me a pride flag. But I’m no trained secret agent, so I obviously had to reject the offer. Even after it being months since I’ve come out, at times I get frustrated and wound up because I can’t openly be queer. However, I’ve done a few things that have helped me feel less suffocated. Here are a few things you could try:
If you can’t turn your loved ones around, make sure you have a support team. This could be a group of friends, a school counselor or a public forum (make sure to not give out personal information on public forums). Anytime negative emotions start to crowd your mind, let them out as soon as possible. You can always leave an anonymous message right here, on the TWE website, and I can assure you that we’ll get back to you to help. I want you to remember that no matter how good or bad your coming out experience was, it takes a truckload of courage and confidence to do it, and I am so proud of you and my respect for you runs deep. Always know that if things aren’t the brightest right now, life is always changing and you will soon find a place in this world that is built for you, cares for you and loves you for who you are. Your true colors will always shine through in the end, and they are beautiful.
If you need someone to talk to : JahannaviThe more that you read, the more you know. The more you know, the smarter you’ll grow. The smarter you grow, the stronger your voice, while speaking your mind or making a choice. - Dr.Seuss
I discovered that quote on the back of a bookmark that my librarian gave me when I was six, and even though it wasn’t as cool as the other peppermint scented bookmarks that she found for us, this bookmark was my favorite. This quote reached out to me when I first fell in love with reading, thanks to the help of numerous dedicated people and marvelous books. And to this day, almost nine years later I still love the way this quote sounds in my head. Reading is precious to me, more than anything else. There is magic to be discovered in books- quite literally in some- and the wonder that comes with occupying someone’s mind for a chapter or a few. So, without further ado I would like to introduce you to an inconclusive list of some amazing books that are much deserving of your love-
This list ends here for now, but I hope that after reading this article you’ll seek out some of these stories and find the wonder and joy that I found in these novels. This is by no means a conclusive list of books that deserve your love, and I’d love to make a list of more such books in the future. “Once you learn to read, you will be forever free”- Frederick Douglass Until next time!- Navya Think about this: what is one thing you love from your favourite novel? Is it the plot that gets you so hooked you forget the cup of coffee sitting on the table? Or the setting you keep wondering about? How about the characters?
Characters are those beings living in your plot who convey the entire story. They are the mirror of the book who brings out the plot and theme. If you want your readers to think long after the last page is closed, treat your characters like your loved ones. Let the readers devour into the plot using your character’s individuality. Building characters with complexities, distinct personalities, and goals dive the readers into the story. Once you understand your characters inside and out, you can mix them in the plot or let them guide the story. Dimension, conflict, and empathy are some of the many things that can help you avoid creating dull characters. Here are few things about them: Dimension One thing that makes characters dull is their lack of flaws. Develop human-like characters, let them have their flaws. Think about different aspects of life. Are they rich? If yes, are they greedy? Are they social? If not, are they lonely? Conflict Let your characters have an internal conflict that influences the plot. No internal conflict makes the story monotonous and the character boring. For example, the superhero of a story has to fight the villain. But he is still unsure of his capability. He doubts himself about being able to control his power. What if he hurts an innocent? These thoughts bring an inner conflict in him, which makes it difficult to solve the external conflict. You can experiment with the solutions to the conflicts. The result of the external conflict can cause a solution to inner conflict and vice versa. Empathy Empathy is the power I love experimenting with. A way to incorporate empathy into your story would be to tell your readers why the villain committed the crimes. Empathy helps paste characters into the reader’s mind. You can always jump around different perspectives to showcase how the characters feel or what they have been through. If you include these in your characters, you are ready! Character outline is THE step I love. I invest more time in this step. It is where you connect and fall in love with your characters. I take it as a blind date; you don’t know what you expect or how they are. But you make a go for it. Outlining characters includes the character’s past, personality, manners, and behavior. For example; one character may have a habit of scrunching their nose again and again. The other may explain themselves, their habits, and why they did certain things again and again because they had abusive parents. Origins matter! It gives an insight into what they might be like, their goal, and their inner conflicts. Different methods can be used to outline characters! The technique I find the easiest is Q&A on a mind map. There are questions I ask myself and address the answers in a form of a mind map. Questions you can ask yourself can be:
Now, when you have your character ready to fall in love with, revealing them on the screen is crucial. SHOW DON’T TELL. You can use their behavior, attitude towards someone, or their actions to reveal the character. Instead of ‘The young CEO of the company was cold and caring. He wanted all works done on time,’. We can say ‘A tall man with a sharp jawline entered the conference hall. All staff members stood up at his sight. He bent down to the level of his secretary’s daughter, bringing a bar of chocolate out of his Tom Ford suit. The little girl leaped with joy. She brought his first smile of the day. He walked up to me and extended his hand for the file I had been holding. I shuddered under his icy gaze. His neck and hand veins were popping out while his eyes held no emotion. He was angry. I handed him the file while looking down at my heels, knowing very well I had crossed the deadline.’ Here, we get a taste of being his employee. We get a clue he has a soft side. We notice his veins pop out when he is angry. He doesn’t smile much. He is rich. A flashback can help display a character or some new characters into the story. Be careful about the transition between the flashback and the present time. Few ways you can present flashbacks can be:
Try not to stop describing the characters. As you write, you discover more! Your readers need to recognize the characters! Reminders are essential! But do not repeat everything again. The characters shouldn’t be too similar. Experiment with unique traits, accents, and behaviours. Ellen’s show and Carpool Karaoke can help you explore your characters more. Ask questions and answer them! Look into where the character would want to go depending upon their personality. Maybe your introverted character will take the host to the library! Remain alert and aware of the accents and behaviour of people around you. It is all about how you play around! Make your characters human-like! Practice, practice, and practice! Happy writing! Yara. Credits to Reedsy learning. How To Develop Memorable Characters (Free Course) • Reedsy How to Write Believable Dialogue (Free Course) • Reedsy Learning The Simple 9-Step Guide to Character Development How to Develop a Character: 7 Simple Steps Dealing with situations like being stood up at dates or a family problem can make us just want to hide away from the world. Escape reality and just go into another world of wonderland, which I thought I was doing.
In the past I have always kept my problems to myself; they started to build up like a tower. But when the tower gets too overloaded it starts to collapse, that’s exactly what happened to my mind. Years of keeping all these problems to myself not talking caused me to have an outburst on other terms let out all my anger. It started when I was back in high school, I was getting bullied due to having ginger hair and because of my last name which I dislike a lot to this day-that’s why I go by a different name now. I was having a normal day in high school, but then came lunch-time. I went to meet my friends and we sat down to lunch, I went to go and get something from the food-counter and on my way back there was this girl who wouldn’t move her chair to let me pass. I asked her kindly if I could just get through to sit down but she refused. So, that’s when things got pretty bad. She stood up and said to me “I can’t move because you’re so fat, bet I couldn’t even lift you to throw you out the window”. That’s when the tower collapsed. I dropped everything in my hands and I just punched her continuing to then pull her hair and then pushed her to the ground. The fight continued until we were split by the teachers. I was taken to the office to then be asked by the principal “what was that all about?” I just walked out and then was sent home. After that day I just locked myself away in my bedroom, not talking to anyone. I was sent to a new high school where I pretended to be a person that I wasn’t. I started to wear makeup, I stopped eating and that’s when the new Mel began. Looking back on it now I wish I dealt with the situation differently because I couldn't even recognise myself! That was just one of the situations where I ran away from my problems. A more recent one was when I was stood up by a girl who I was meant to be going on a date with. I got to the location where we were meant to meet but then she stood me up. What I did after that was that I got a taxi back home then I relapsed with my bulimia. I punished myself because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and that nobody will like me with the way I look! Now, looking back at that situation, I should have talked to someone. So running from the situation makes me feel ten times worse. I found some other ways that could help you feel better in situations like these; writing it all down in a journal, diary or even creating an article!
Mel Anxiety is a factor that affects every individual and is a typical response to stressful or difficult situations. The different types of anxiety attacks that could be difficult to grasp are anxiety disorders that many people find challenging their everyday lives. This disorder leaves an individual with constant worrying or stress, leading to depleting mental health because of the tension of worrying or panic attacks.
Anyone can sense anxiety coming into effect as your heart starts to race, you begin to shake, lose control over your breath, or feel out of control in the situation. This reaction is definitely a normal one. However, finding ways to combat this anxiety can make problems easier and promote a better mentality moving forth. With the different types of stress discussed earlier, there is one that is prominent with teenagers-social anxiety. The broad definition of social anxiety is having a fear of being judged or rejected in social situations. Many of these instances can be seen in classrooms while presenting or when being with large groups of people. You might feel the anxiousness that comes with speaking in front of a large group or having a fast-paced/shaky tone. One piece of advice to keep in mind is that you are not alone. Millions of others experience similar anxiety, so not perfecting something like a presentation in school or fitting into a social setting is entirely normal. Ways to get assistance on social anxiety could be to practice more healthy habits or breathing exercises to practice. If you feel anxious about an event, grab a journal and write down your thoughts.If you feel angry or frustrated, go on a run or let your energy lose and blow some steam off by doing physical activity. If you are genuinely struggling and need more help outside of yourself, a critical piece of advice that I can give is to talk to someone, whether it be a friend or a professional which could both prove effective in different ways. I have provided a link to a website that furthermore discusses anxiety, the different types, helplines, and many more. https://www.mentalhelp.net/anxiety/hotline/. In my experience, anxiety has been a part of me and has always been a factor in my lifetime. I constantly feel myself worrying or holding unnecessary tension in my everyday tasks and life. Especially now, with a new shift in school, I find myself worrying and afraid of the possible outcomes of a negative situation or me not fitting in. I am still working on aiding my anxiety. I take appropriate steps that help me feel better, such as working out, journaling, reading, and cleaning my mind by taking breaks from social media, focusing more on myself and my own downtime. Finally, I practice breathing and complete 5-10 minute meditation sessions in the morning and night to provide my brain with a break and have a fresh mindset for the rest of the day/next. Finally, anxiety is not something that is easy to overcome, but it is a part of you that you must aid and treat if it begins to affect you. Once again, there is a link provided in the article about more information regarding this topic and hotlines if you need more help, which is always okay. I wish all of you the best and hope you are navigating life in a manner of your own. Sincerely, Julius. “Never judge a book by its cover.” This is a common expression used when you meet someone new-to never judge them solely based on appearance. However, we can’t help it sometimes. We are quick to judge and write off someone, assuming that they are rude or impolite. Yet, that might not always be the case. Those who suffer from anxiety have coping mechanisms and side effects that can come across as “rude.”
A lot of us have been in a social situation where we’ve felt we didn’t showcase ourselves in the way we wanted to. Whether it was being too chatty in fear of awkward silences or being too quiet. For people who live with anxiety, situations like this can feel all too real. There are other ways as well which include: They leave an event early or abruptly: Our body’s natural reaction is “flight” or “fight.” In this case, the “flight” response is activated. If someone’s anxiety is becoming too intense, their brain’s response to a perceived threat will tell them that it’s time to go. They cancel plans last minute: Chances are that they are excited to go out but as those plans near closer, anxiety begins to speaker louder. Their anxious thoughts may consist of fearing a panic attack in public or avoiding triggering situations. They ask “can you repeat that?” multiple times in a conversation: Brain fog! People with anxiety are overwhelmed with thoughts. At times, it can be hard to process so much information at once. They seem withdrawn or don’t talk much in a conversation: People with anxiety may fear being judged for what they say or how they say it. Some would prefer to listen to what others are saying, rather than input their thoughts into a conversation. They are irritable and easily agitated for what may seem like “no reason”: Anxiety is overwhelming! Imagine trying to battle your thoughts, physical sensations, and a sense of impending doom all while trying to navigate at once. I have been in situations where due to my anxiety, I may have come across as rude. Whenever I am out with friends or at a party, I end up staying for a very short while before leaving. Also, during these social gatherings, I stick by the side of who I’m with. This is where I would be seen as clingy and disrespectful. This is something I don’t mean to be. I just want to stay with people I know. I also don’t know how to connect with random strangers. I don’t know what I can trust about what they do or say. I don’t know how to react to the conversation. So I become monotoned to avoid saying or doing the wrong things. But once I get to know them, I start to relax and I can be myself. I’m not as cold as I initially seem. These are just a few things that I do that can easily come across as rude to others to strangers and acquaintances. But there are ways to overcome your anxiety with these coping mechanisms. Some methods include: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps people learn different ways of thinking about and reacting to inducing anxiety situations. A therapist can help you develop ways to change negative thought patterns and behaviours before they get out of control. Identify and manage your triggers: Whether it is on your own or with a therapist, learn what your triggers are and how to manage them. Sometimes they can be obvious, like caffeine, drinking alcohol, or smoking. Other times they can be less obvious. Long-term problems, such as work-related situations, may take some time to figure out. When you do figure out your trigger, you should try to limit your exposure if you can. Meditation: Meditation can help your brain dismiss anxious thoughts when they arise. If sitting still and concentrating is difficult, try starting with yoga. Health: Exercising regularly, eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and staying connected to people who care about you are great ways to not think of your anxiety. Medication: If your anxiety is severe enough that your mental health is being jeopardised, discuss your concerns with your doctor. (Note: Remember that different methods work for different people.) Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress. How we deal with it may come across as “rude” to those that do not know us. For loved ones, recognize that these anxiety-driven patterns can be extremely difficult for the anxious person to adjust, especially if they're in the midst of a clinical anxiety problem. To get in contact with your local helplines then visit: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Indie Anxiety is described as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. While the majority of individuals will experience anxiety at some point in their life, some may experience anxiety frequently at a more intense level. Through overthinking and overanalyzing, those with anxiety will constantly fret over multiple situations, oftentimes being irrational.
The difference between being anxious about a specific event such as a public speech, a first date, or a test, and being anxious over nearly everything is that when one experiences severe anxiety, their entire life can bring them unease. While anxiety is an umbrella term, some may not know the different forms of anxiety disorders. Separation anxiety is described as inappropriate and excessive fear or anxiety concerning separation from those to whom the individual is attached. Regardless as to why someone is excessively attached to a specific individual, it can become a disorder if the individual has recurrent excessive distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from home, excessive worry over losing someone from illness, injury, disasters, or even death. Some may even struggle to leave their house due to fear of being away from someone. Another form of anxiety can be a specific phobia where one experiences anxiety over a specific object or situation. Social anxiety disorder is the fear of one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others. This can include the fear of having a conversation with unfamiliar people or performing in front of others. Panic disorder is when one experiences recurrent unexpected panic attacks. A panic attack is known as an abrupt surge of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes (symptoms may include sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, etc). Perhaps the most well-known anxiety disorder is generalized anxiety disorder which is excessive anxiety and worry occurring more days than not about a number of events or activities. This anxiety is difficult to control and can lead to irritability, restlessness, sleep disturbance, etc. When I was younger, my anxiety was rooted in bullying. After attending schools and being bullied by other students, I began being home schooled for a few years and was terrified to reenter a physical school afterward. This caused me to keep to myself and limit my socialization in fear of once again being bullied. As I have grown older and made friends, this fear has decreased dramatically. Although some days I do fear being around others I do not know well, I am able to control it better and conquer my fears. Though this anxiety has decreased, I still suffer from other forms of anxiety. Some days I become stressed over irrational fears and am unable to focus on anything else. Some nights I find it challenging to sleep due to thoughts racing through my head and tormenting me. The anxiety can get so intense that I may experience a panic attack that is difficult to stop. Although I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, I have found healthy ways to cope and clear my mind of these irrational worries. By speaking with someone who I am close to, such as a family member or friend, they are able to reassure me and let me know that these worries are over situations that are unlikely to occur. They are aware of the severity of anxiety and therefore do not undermine my feelings but do aid in reassuring me so that I can calm down. Some ways to deal with a panic attack include deep breathing and focusing on an object. A calm way to focus is to look around and see five things, touch four things, hear three things, smell two things, and taste one thing. This can help one get out of a panic attack and focus on what is around them and slow one’s mind. It is also valuable to know that everything will be okay and having someone tell you this can greatly aid in calming down. The majority of the fears that one experiences when suffering from an anxiety disorder are oftentimes unlikely and therefore it is important to set these fears to rest and focus on other things. By talking with someone, watching TV, listening to music, going for a walk, doing chores, etc, one can get their mind off of their worries and stabilize. Everyone experiences anxiety now and again and it can be perfectly natural. However, if the anxiety remains constant and controls your life, it might be wise to seek help. Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life, help can greatly reduce the anxiety one may suffer from. It is useful to realize that the anxiety is temporary and oftentimes over an outcome that has a very low probability of occurring. Anxiety can be a serious issue for many and it is also valuable to understand that if you have a loved one who suffers from anxiety. Do not undermine their state but rather provide the support they need whether that be addressing the issue or helping to get their mind off of their worries.
Anxiety; our body’s natural response to dealing with stress. Anxiety is a response our body gives out when we stress, this response is the feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s about to happen. “Anxiety is a mental disorder”. First of all, when you read this sentence, I believe that many of us grew up to believe that a “mental health disorder” meant that something was wrong with our body and it was our fault. I’m sorry to break it to you, but that is completely incorrect. Our bodies are a fascinating thing and we cannot create a disorder or a disease, so, each one of you out there needs to understand that nothing is your fault.
Anxiety is like having the feeling of butterflies when you’re nervous or anxious about something which is about to happen, or when you’re stressed about a couple of things, or when you fear something when you’re sad or worried. Anxiety disorders are when you have these feelings constantly, like nearly every day, and while others sometimes don’t understand what the “big deal” is, its because they don’t understand how it feels to have anxiety nor an anxiety disorder. It’s really hard to cope with anxiety let alone an anxiety disorder because of the immense and overwhelming feelings. Personally, I have a lot of anxiety and I deal with my anxiety nearly on a daily basis. I know how it feels to keep having a constant feeling of being worried or stressed, feeling a shortness of breath, having heart palpitations, to get obsessive over something you can’t control. The feeling of having an anxiety attack is overwhelming, and trust me when I say, I’ve had my fair share of them. An anxiety attack is an immense feeling but I have some tips/tricks which have helped me cope with them; 1) Breathing. When I have an anxiety attack, I usually breathe in for 7 seconds, hold it for 6 seconds and breath out for 8. This helps to slow down your breathing and have better control over it. 2) Talk to your body. When I face an anxiety attack, personally, I can’t control my hands and I get really fidgety, so whenever I can’t control it, I talk to my hands. I know it does sound a bit off but trust me, it does work. 3) Talk to yourself out loud. Talking to yourself out loud to calm yourself down does work. Sometimes, saying it out loud makes your body listen better than talking in your mind. These are my top 3 tips and hopefully, they work for you too. An anxiety attack is not easy to deal with alone so its good to open up about it to your loved ones. For those who don’t have anxiety or an anxiety disorder, if you know someone who does have anxiety/ an anxiety disorder, its always good to know the symptoms: heart palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath/ feelings of choking, dizziness, trembling/shaking, numbness, hot and cold flashes, fear of dying or of losing control, queasy stomach, feeling detached from oneself and one's surroundings. If you know someone who has anxiety/anxiety disorder and is having a panic attack, some ways to help them are: 1) Remain calm. When you know someone is having an attack, you need to remain calm in the situation. They need to have an assurance that everything around them is under control so you should calmly tell them that you are there for them and that they are safe. 2) Ask them how you can help. If the person you know has dealt with anxiety attacks and knows how to control/stop it, then ask them how you can help and what their coping methods are. 3) Do not say “ don’t worry” or “calm down” over and over, it may worsen their attack, instead, make them do breathing exercises with you, like take deep breaths and count with them, or ask them to count down from 100, or ask them to name 5 things they can hear, smell, see or feel. This would help them keep their mind off their anxiety attack and calm them down. These are my top 3 tips on how to help someone if they have an anxiety attack. I won’t say that I know exactly how you feel because I understand that we all cope with our anxiety differently but I am able to understand you and I’m there for you as well. To all of you out there, there is no such thing as being “normal”. We all have our battles to fight and to stand up for, and one battle that we all need to fight is to understand anxiety and anxiety disorders, and eventually all mental disorders out there. It’s our job and now your job if you read this article to stand up and educate others about anxiety and anxiety disorders, and make them understand that it's no one’s fault. You need to be there and support those who have mental disorders, and tell them they are not alone. - Ananya :) Some articles written by TWE with coping and dealing with anxiety and anxiety attacks: a.Dealing with anxiety and panic attacks: what to do: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/dealing-with-anxiety-and-panic-attacks-what-to-do b.Cope with panic attacks: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/cope-with-panic-attacks c.Breathing tips for anxiety: https://www.teenagerswithexperience.com/guest-articles/breathing-tips-for-anxiety Hotline Numbers to Call: a.Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642): If you don’t feel comfortable with calling someone you know while having a panic attack, some hotline numbers you can call if you need to speak to someone while having a panic attack. You could also call this number if you would like to know more about panic disorders. b.Teen Line: 1-310-855-HOPE (4673) or 1-800-TLC-TEEN (1-800-852-8336): This helpline allows teens in crisis to connect with other teens who understand what they’re going through. The service can also be reached by texting “TEEN” to 839863. Some articles you should check out if you want to understand more about how to deal with your panic attacks: a. Tips on how to stop a panic attack: these tips are really helpful in dealing with your panic attacks and reduce your anxiety symptoms: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack#light-exercise b.This article on “How to deal with anxiety” will help you and teach you more about accepting your anxiety and how to listen more to your body’s messages.https://www.alustforlife.com/tools/mental-health/how-to-deal-with-anxiety?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5tatz9nU6gIVVB0rCh1wYACdEAAY yAAEgKfGfD_BwE An article to read if you want to understand more about anxiety disorder sign and symptoms: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/anxiety-disorder-symptoms Stress: it's an emotion we all feel every now and then. However, with the right mindset, it doesn't take much to combat the dreaded feeling once and for all. With university applications just finished, while the first step of the lengthy process is just about over, the stress never seems to stop. Here are some tips to stay mentally sound during the application process.
Don't Procrastinate: Procrastination is something I've struggled immensely with and is still a big issue that concerns me today. Although I am tempted to leave my work to the last minute, I know that this will ultimately do more harm than good. Instead, you should always start the work ahead of time, and divide the work into sections while doing it. This will allow you to retouch work from before without having to do it all in one go, thus limiting any unnecessary mistakes. Take breaks: Your mental health should be in a place that is steady and calm. Take a deep breath and relax for a while. Do some stretching, take a walk, grab a snack or do some yoga. Just do anything other than work. This will not only strengthen your body, but also your mind. Talk with someone: If you are struggling with applications and need an opinion or two, talk with someone. Communication is key to getting your thoughts across and obtaining sufficient feedback and ideas that can benefit you in your application. Talk with your friends, or even better, an older person who is currently in university. This can be your older sibling, a family friend, or even a relative. With these tips, you can battle stress in any shape or form that comes with the tense pressures of applying to university. While stress is an emotion that will always be apparent in your life, it doesn't mean it should always negatively impact the things you do.
All my life I’ve struggled to keep jobs, keep friendships everything you can think of I’ve found it hard to keep. The most I struggle with is friendships so you can expect what I’m going to say now, I don’t have many friends, and I don’t socialize as others do.
Some people may see this as complete laziness, but for me, it’s a daily struggle to even wake up and find something positive to do. This is when daily activities come in, many people like to work out in the morning before the day ahead, many like to take walks and many like to spend time with their family before heading off to work. For me, it’s the complete opposite. Before you think I’m one of those people who sit at home and play games all day. No, I’m not one of those people, I do have a job, and I do try to go out with the friends that I have (which is hardly any). I do try, and it’s a lot for me to do. I try to keep myself doing at least something per week just to say I have actually achieved something. But it’s a hard battle to fight with yourself. This is what mental health can do to someone. It can drain them, it can take their daily life and make it nonexistent. The days seem long, so you sleep away your worries hoping to one day wake up happy. This is not just one kind of mental health, this can be various of illnesses that do this to our bodies. It’s the way we deal with it that’s important! But also what’s important is that this is recognized as NOT being lazy, but as being mentally drained.
What is Sociology?
Summary Sociology is an exciting field of study that analyses human social relationships, politics, crime, religion, social class, and radical change. An endless study that examines all fragments of society, and how human actions shape these social structures. For instance, psychology examines the mind, the psychology of an individual, and Sociology examines the environment, in which humans live. In fact, you may have taken part in surveys conducted at school that may have been related to sociology, questions that ask your ethnicity, age, gender, and experience of schooling. Sociology emphasizes gathering evidence and conducting research, and the government has been able to use the data from these surveys or other forms of research to make policies and change. Importance of Sociology in society Sociology is an essential subject, a subject I hope will one day become a compulsory module in schools. It is a subject that would teach children about the society they live in, the challenges others face, and hopefully teach empathy and humanity. Putting those hopes aside, those who are in school or have completed their education should consider diving into this subject. Sociology is more important now more than ever. Since this generation is aware of the cruelty and injustice that occurs around the world and the inequality and unfairness of the laws and systems in place. Sociology offers a factual and logical explanation, arguments that can shape our society and make it a better place to live. Sociology shapes our politics, broadens our minds on the different economic systems that exist, challenges our comfort, our existence, and our purpose. You will find yourself exploring not just plain feminism but Marx feminism, intersectional feminism, communism, socialism, and critique of capitalism, helping you understand yourself better, not just society. In light of the Black Lives Matter movement, the Me-Too movement, the revolutions, riots, the impact of the pandemic on marginalized communities, and police brutality, sociology is essential. Without an open mind and an understanding of history and society, we cannot progress very far; we cannot begin to understand why people are rioting or why marginalized groups are calling for change. My experience with Sociology When I studied this subject at A-level, it validated my experiences as a South-Asian woman. Growing up, I had theories of my own, which I later learned had entire studies on, my experiences dealing with racism, sexism now had a name, a study, analysis, and an explanation. My experiences were no longer just my experiences, they were universal. It was enlightening to study something so personal and insightful. To learn sociology is to understand our values, where we stand in society, and how we can challenge the systems in place. To understand sociology is to want better for ourselves and others, to gain compassion, to gain another soul. Books and sources that may interest the reader: -Feminist Studies - A Guide to Intersectional Theory, Methodology and Writing By Nina Lykke -Essentials of Sociology by James M. Henslin -A Down-to-Earth Approach By James M. Henslin A website that shows you a list of great books to choose from to begin learning: https://bookauthority.org/books/beginner-sociology-books Wania Being a junior going into twelfth grade, summer is less about fun and more about having to think about the colleges that I want to apply to next year. There are tens of thousands of universities in the world and even in the U.S, there are still over 4,000 schools to choose from. So how exactly do you narrow down that 4,000 to 7-15 schools? That’s what I’m here to help you with!
For me, the process of narrowing down my college list was overwhelming, to say the least. I had no idea how to start and felt as if the decisions I made during this process could either make or break my entire future. Talking to my counsellor and some of my friends that had already applied to college was very helpful for me. After having gone through the long process and finally limiting my options to 20 schools, I believe I learned many great tips regarding how to compile a college list best suitable for you. So, here is how to get started on narrowing down your college list: 1. Get to know yourself - What are your preferences and interests? College can be a huge investment and to get the most out of your college experience, it is important to make sure that you are going somewhere that meets your needs and wants. Considering the fact that college is where you will most likely be spending four years of your life, think about even the smallest things. For example, here are some questions that you can think about as you start the process.
2. Research, Research, Research Once you have figured out what you want, it is time to see which schools will be able to meet those needs and wants. The easiest way is to search up: “Best schools for intended major.” However, make sure that you look beyond just the academic rankings. Instead, look for lists of schools that are most diverse, have the best sports programs, have the happiest students, have the most school spirit, or whatever else is important to you. Going to college fairs, watching YouTube videos, and talking to your high school alumnus are a few other ways to find colleges to look into. Once you have a rough list of schools that you are interested in, whether that be 30 or 60 schools, it is time to do in-depth research into each of the schools. This definitely took me a long time, but you do not have to do it all in one day, and being thorough here will definitely be helpful later on. Here are a few ways to do your research:
As I did research, I started eliminating schools that didn’t fit what I wanted and was able to narrow down my list. 3. Split the colleges you are interested in to reach, safety, and target schools. While I am not a professional on college admissions it is recommended that you have a list of around 8-15 schools with around 2-3 safety schools, 3-6 target schools, and 3-6 reach schools. Safety schools are schools that you have a good chance of getting into, target schools are those that you have a 50-50% chance of getting into, and reach schools are those that you do not have a good chance of getting into. So, how exactly do you know which colleges fit into which category? Here is what my own counsellor recommended:
I know that coming up with a college list can seem daunting, and I definitely felt worried and unprepared myself as I started the process. However, the more I did research, the more confident I became in knowing what I wanted and whether or not a school is a good fit for me. Your college list will evolve over time and you do not need to do it all in one day. So, don’t worry too much and I know that you got this!! Have a great day, Erica If you’re getting started on writing your college apps, especially for schools in the United States, one major part of the application process that probably is going to take up the majority of your effort is the essay portions. Between the Common App, UC Personal Insight Questions, and thousands of schools’ supplemental essays, you’ve got quite a bit of writing ahead of you. Actually, that’s somewhat of a lie; most college app essays are only around 500 words, so it’s not much at all. And that’s all you get to convince these schools why you deserve a spot over thousands of other applicants. Sounds daunting? It can be. I remember the amount of effort I put into writing my college apps, and boy am I glad that part of my life is over. I found so much advice for how to write the best college applications, and yet I still struggled to get started. 17 years of life experiences flooded my mind, and I couldn’t sort through it all. That’s because I had no idea what I should be writing about. Deciding on what topic to write about is the most important part of the college app essay. The rest is just applying general writing skills and finding the right tone, but the story you tell is what the admission officers will focus on - because that story will represent you. Despite that, there’s not a lot of information about how to select a topic for each essay. Some prompts are hyper-specific, especially if it is a supplement for a specific school, that point directly to what you should be writing about. Others are as vague as “Share an essay on any topic of your choice.” That’s literally a prompt on the Common App (one of seven, and you only select one). For anyone who is stuck on this decision process, I’ve been there. You might have the instinct to just think of something that fits and dive right in- try to fight that. Chances are, you won’t go deep enough into the prompt or the experiences you come up with, and shallow essays can break an application. Don’t let that happen to you. This article is a long one, but hopefully it will guide you to figure out what exactly to write about for each essay. WHAT COLLEGES WANT Before you even start to think about how to answer a prompt, you should first try to understand why schools are asking that prompt to begin with. What even is the point of these essays, anyways? Simply put, you are more than your report card and résumé, and schools want to see the rest of you that they can’t get from anywhere else but your own words. They want to see who you are, what your values are, what drives you, how you think, and how you move through life. Sounds deep? Yup. That’s the point. Schools rarely use the essay to measure your intellect as a student. Instead, they want to see you as a person. There are some questions that statistics cannot answer. Will you be a good fit for the school? How do you get along with other people? What is it that you care most about? How do you react to challenges in your life? What else interests you aside from what is on your résumé? What do you love to learn about? Why do you want to go to college? How do you think, and how do you learn? Why do you think you deserve a spot at that school? There are many other questions like these, and I won’t list them all because there is no official list. However, you probably now have a slightly better time understanding what UChicago is really asking for with the prompt, “what can actually be divided by zero?” Most importantly, colleges want to know how you see yourself. What do you think is the most important thing about who you are? Some prompts explicitly ask for this, others don’t. The key is to not choose a topic based on what you think will impress an admission officer. Back in 2019, I attended an event with Exploring College Options, a cohort of top-tier schools that do undergraduate recruitment and fairs together. One admission officer reminded people to not write to impress: the essay that he remembers the most is one he read several years prior about a tree that a student had planted with his family as a boy and how the student has grown along with the tree. It is a simple concept and relatively unimpressive in terms of what would be on a résumé, but the student wrote from the heart and it showed. INITIAL BRAINSTORMING Now that you hopefully have a clearer idea of the goal for these essays, it’s time to start thinking about the topics. You may feel you have too many ideas, or not enough, but it is always good to find a variety of experiences and activities you can draw from to answer any number of prompts and ensure that your application reflects who you are. You will want to start evaluating your life in terms of what activities take up the most of your time, special interests, specific memories-both good and bad, but also evaluate yourself in terms of qualities that you think transcend these moments in your life. Below is a brainstorm similar to my old notes from when I was going through the process for myself.
*I swam competitively from ages 8-11, then started again when I was 16. With these in mind, the next thing you will want to do is unpack some of the specific examples you have listed out. Your goal is to see how they have shaped you as a person, what you have learned from them, and how they highlight who you are as a person. Focus on experiences that are relatively recent, as colleges want to see who you are now, not who you were years ago. Go deep, and let yourself go on tangents. You’ll find some dead ends, but that’s okay. Never erase anything. The goal for this exercise is to explore the full value of these experiences, not to try to write the essay. LOOKING AT THE PROMPTS Only once you have clear ideas of what you could write on your applications should you zero in on the prompts. Prompts can be tricky because they may not always show what a college is truly asking for from you. It’s your job to figure out why the schools are asking those specific questions, or giving those exact prompts. Rarely is there one right answer only. Sometimes, your gut reaction of how to answer a prompt may actually show colleges the exact opposite of what they want. For example, one PIQ asks “What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?” The trick to this prompt is that the talent or skill you mention is less important to the admissions officers than how you have developed and utilized it throughout your life. The point is not to brag about what you can do. It is to show how you make the most of what you’ve got. As you start to understand the prompts better, you’ll see that some of the topics you’ve brainstormed won’t really fit well for any of them. I personally had wanted to write about my family, but I knew my words were limited. I knew that there was not a whole lot I could share about my family experiences that would truly show to colleges what I know they want to learn about me, so I left the idea behind, along with several others. You may find yourself leaving behind over half of your brainstorm, and that is okay. The point of brainstorming is to just find your options and explore different ideas. Chances are, some colleges will be reading multiple essays from you. Even if this is not the case for any of the schools you are applying to, it is vital to balance your application. Every school will have some form of a resume, and the essays will merely supplement it. What does your resume show about you, and what is missing? My resume highlighted my academics, so I focused more on my extracurriculars and non-written achievements for my essays. You want your application to show a complete picture of who you are and will be as a college student - in courses and the community. Your essays will fill out the rest of the picture that cannot be taken from anything else on paper. Therefore, if you have multiple essays to the same school, try to make sure they are not too similar. With limited words, you want to show as much of yourself as possible. Finally, you may find that some topics fall under multiple prompts! Keep these topics in mind. If they are central to your identity, make sure you write something about it. However, sometimes the ideas we brainstorm are not as deep as we originally thought. For me, I found that though writing about my experiences with swimming could work for many of the prompts I was given, I simply would not have enough to say. Make sure you have enough to say on a topic. Most prompts give a word range - always aim for the upper bound. SELECTING THE TOPICS By this point, you’ve already done a lot of the work. You know what colleges are looking for. You understand the prompts. You know yourself and what stories about yourself you can tell. At this point, all that is left is to simply decide what topic to write about for each prompt. Sounds easy, right? But be careful - most people rush through this step without realizing, even if they prepared well for this step. Remember, it is okay to change your mind. Nothing is finalized until you hit the submit button, so keep an open mind even once you’ve made these decisions. I myself shifted several of my essays around. After writing out a full essay to answer a prompt about improving my community, I shifted it to answer a different prompt about an academic subject that inspires me. I had to write some more to frame the story properly and make some edits to passages that I enjoyed, but that is alright. I think I wrote at least ten times as many words through my various drafts than what was actually submitted to schools. Keep the following in mind as you start to commit to your essay prompts:
FINAL TIPS Hopefully, this article helped you build a process to select what you want to write about for your college applications. With the brainstorming and the first drafts, just write it all out. Don’t try to get it perfect or succinct just yet, just put everything on the page. Narrowing down the topic and editing are quite similar processes and are probably the two most important steps to writing a stellar college application essay. If you get stuck in the brainstorming process or struggle to express yourself on the page, turn to those that know you best. The application is supposed to reflect your own introspection, but you can also find inspiration from the way others describe you. When I was in high school, my college counselor was not very helpful at any stage of the application essay process. However, there is one thing she said that is very important - someone who knows you should be able to read your essay and identify it as your voice, your identity, and your experiences, not anyone else’s. Part of this comes down to editing and word choice, but mostly it comes from choosing a story that is unique to you. You need to get to the heart of your identity and expose yourself. Some topics require you to show your flaws, and that is okay. Colleges are not expecting perfect people, so don’t try to be one. Just make sure that whatever flaws you describe are countered with related positive qualities. For essays that are around only 500 words each, the process is long and may seem arduous. Yet without doing this work, those short essays go from being the deciding factor for admissions officers letting you into the school of your dreams to the reason you failed to stand out at any school at all. So please take time with this process. Don’t do it all at once, but a little bit day-by-day or week-by-week. That way, over time, you can change your mind as needed or slowly build to the best possible essay you can write. Best of luck, Chandler/Ina |
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