When did I join TWE?
I joined TWE in early November 2019 when I was 14 and in Year 10. How did I find TWE? TWE first appeared to me in a Facebook group (of all places...) called GCSE Revision. A former member had published their application form for Head Girl and had mentioned an online organisation in the letter. She wrote how it helped her communicate with others and improved her social and teamwork skills, which interested me as it sounded like something I’d fit into. Even though she had left by the time I sent in my application to join, I suppose it restores the saying ‘when one door closes, another one opens’. Why did I join? I joined the organisation for something to do in my spare time, mainly because of the lack of hobbies and activities I do outside of school. Writing is something I enjoy and I always have enjoyed, and TWE has given me the opportunity to actually possibly help someone instead of just writing plain stories which only family members will read. This makes my time worth it and also extremely rewarding. What has my experience been like? My experience here has been great; not only have I been able to write for a real purpose as I mentioned before but I’ve also made new friends on the way who are all from different places. The best thing about TWE is that it’s a safe space for anyone, which is definitely promoted by the members as they are all welcoming, friendly and non judgmental. Everyone here is unique, and the biggest feature about the members here is their strength and resilience, for example when I read some people’s articles, it makes me realise how much harder other people’s lives are than mine and how lucky I am to not have to deal with the things they have been through. Everyone supports each other and really do re-enforce the safe spacity of TWE. What lessons have I learnt from TWE? I have absolutely no clue, but one lesson I’ve learnt (as cheesy as it sounds) is that everyone has a boss wherever you go in life (unless you’re Emily). Another lesson would probably be how to use Google Drive properly, which will definitely come in hand in the future. In conclusion... I think TWE is an amazing opportunity for anyone who isn’t already a part of it for the reasons I have explained above. If you’d like to be a part of a positive, rewarding and friendly organisation then I’d definitely recommend joining. -Fin
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Are you unsure what you want to do in the future?? It is okay, we’ve all been there. Maybe you’re really indecisive like me, maybe you have a vague idea or maybe you are just completely lost. No matter which one you relate to I’m here to help, by telling you about my experience.
So, I was certain after binge watching all of 'Gilmore Girls' plus the revival that I wanted to be a journalist, just like Rory (one of the main characters). Which is why I started my blog as a way to build up a portfolio of my writing. I even started up a school newspaper in my highschool and then later joined my college’s student magazine. I showed that much enthusiasm towards it that I am now in line to be the chief editor next year. But speaking of college, I even suited my chosen courses around this idea of being a journalist, I mean I chose English and media (two obvious ones but my favourites) and sociology which is what I wanted to be my niche. However, I recently had a review day where me and my teachers sat down to talk about how I’m getting on in their courses and how I can improve in advance of our summer progression tests. The grades we get in these tests decide if we continue our courses into the second year. In my meetings there was a unanimous trend that my writing wasn’t enough and that I wasn’t fully answering the exam questions. So, as a way to improve I was set the tasks of doing practice essays at home and attending an “Academic Writing Course” during my free periods in college. Then when I got back home from college I told my Dad, and that's when we came to the realisation that maybe journalism isn’t right for me. I mean there is one journalist apprenticeship in my local area.On top of that it is a highly competitive field and I am having to take an extra course to work on improving the main skill required for this job. Which is how I came to the conclusion that maybe college isn’t right for me. That’s okay, there is a lot of speculation around being a college drop out and it is certainly seen as inferior. But I realised that an apprenticeship could be a better option for me. My advice is to weigh up your options. Originally I thought that college was the only way and it is not. If you have any further questions I would love to help out, and if you have some advice why not help out?? Josh High school is a time in which nearly every person experiences anxiety, whether it’s caused by the overwhelming amount of homework, or the ever-changing circle of friends. When a teenager is under stress whilst facing the typical anxieties surrounding fitting in, it is easy to fall victim to peer pressure, and ultimately develop an emotional dependency on drugs and alcohol.
Not only do these actions result in significant damage to the health of teenagers with developing bodies, but the psychological harm that teens undergo proves to be major in the effects of substance abuse. Having witnessed this behaviour in my own home and at school, drug and alcohol abuse appears to be prevalent in teenagers who lack the proper support system at home or within their social circles to confront and work through their emotions. In addition, those struggling with self-image, bullying, family problems, and even the pressure of succeeding in school are more prone to escape these anxious feelings with what seems to be the easiest solution. Although typically teen addicts may feel that drugs provide relief from stress, relying on a substance for any form of satisfaction only drives a person down a dark path. I have seen first-hand the effects that drugs and alcohol have on teens, such as strained relationships with family and friends, and losing touch of themselves and what truly brings them joy outside of their addiction. The topic of drug abuse in adolescence is often wrongfully stigmatized. I find that those who refrain from smoking or drinking, or adults and family will judge others who use without empathizing with them and realizing that they are going through something. Those who simply want help for teen addicts overlook why one might be seeking to escape their reality in the first place. Within my school environment, it is difficult for adults and for some students to understand a teen who is reliant on drugs, and the aggressive and judgmental approach taken by parents and schools only widens the void between teen users and non-users. With the difficulty to understand each other, a teen addict is pushed further into self-isolation, ultimately worsening their addictive behaviour. What must be brought to light is how school staff, parents, and peers confront teen addiction, and ways in which both sides can be made to feel understood. Although every situation may be different, teen substance abuse stems from the inability of a teen to have the resources to properly digest and control their anxiety, making it a priority that parents and schools offer psychological help rather than judgment and punishment when confronting a potential addict. Anna If you’re applying to university, you will need to write a personal statement. If you’re applying through the university itself, they may ask for a variation of a personal statement or one itself, often with a word limit. If you’re applying through UCAS, you’ll need a personal statement with your application and there’s a character limit of 4000 words or 47 lines. This can seem intimidating, but it isn’t as daunting as you may think.
A personal statement is an introduction to you. It’s your first impression to the places you’re applying to. It’s an important part of your application, but it isn’t talked about much. There aren’t many tips on how to make one, especially to make one stand out, so here are my tips on how to make a personal statement. I applied to university last year, both through UCAS and through university websites. Making a personal statement for UCAS can seem scary due to the character limit and their advised limit of 500 words. Of everyone in my class, none of us thought we could get to 500 words, most of us claiming we weren’t exciting enough for that many words. I can guarantee you, everyone’s exciting enough for 500 words, even if you don’t feel it. One place I applied to split the personal statement up, asking specific questions such as ‘why do you want to study here?’, or ‘What’s something interesting about you?’, each having a very strict character limit of 250. That’s why I would say to have your UCAS personal statement easy at all times so you can adapt it to those kinds of applications. Here are some things I found helpful about the structure- The first paragraph should be a brief introduction to you. How did you get into the subject? Be as passionate as you can while keeping this brief. My best advice is keep it to four lines, maximum. The second paragraph should be about your current education. If you’re in college, write about your experience on the subject based on your college experience and what achievements you’ve completed in college, all relevant to your subject. If you’re in sixth form, write about your subject and your relevant achievements you’ve gained throughout sixth form. For example, I wrote about the shows I worked on in college and what I gained from those experiences. The third paragraph should be your experiences and achievements about the subject outside of education. If you don’t have any, don’t worry about this, just skip this step. For this section, I wrote about theatre experiences I had outside of college, even if they were from before I started college, I put them in. Big up yourself. Show off what you’ve done. The fourth paragraph should be about you. Do you have any hobbies? Put them in. They have subliminal messages, so keep that in mind. Do you like running? It shows you’re active. Do you like writing? It’s seen as you can keep up with work. Put it in. Tailor them to your subject. For a production arts course, I put in that I run, I write, that I play piano and do grades. It showed that I’m active, I’m creative and do work, and I can read sheet music. Be smart about what you put in, because they will look for the messages your hobbies give. Put in experiences you’ve had outside of your subject. You went to a club? Put it in. It shows you keep busy. The fifth chapter should be a summary. Try to be as passionate as possible. Say why you want to study your subject in higher education, but keep it brief. Four lines maximum. With that structure, here are some things to remember:
This is what I learnt about personal statements. I hope that this has helped, even just a little! It’s a tricky thing to do, but remember that the most important part is to be you. Hype yourself up but stay true to yourself. Being patient is especially important. It’s hard. Be patient. You’ll get it perfect in no time. Through my experience, it took me three months to get it right, but it worked. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to get there, as long as you get it in before the deadline, it’s perfectly okay. Rushing it won’t get it perfect. Being authentically you is the best thing to do when writing a personal statement. ~ En Life as a teenager and young adult can be extremely busy and overwhelming. Especially because we have to balance school along with our personal life and other commitments that we have. This can be a lot and for many it is extremely tough to obtain a good schedule or routine. One of the most important things to learn as a teenager is time management. Time management allows one to not waste time and spend one’s time in both useful and/or beneficial ways. Some efficient ways to manage your time are:
Another key to balancing school with your personal life is finishing schoolwork and studying in a timely and efficient manner. Easy ways to do this include:
Adding on to that, using your phone is one of the biggest ways of becoming distracted and wasting time. Limiting your screen time and putting your phone somewhere not easily accessible when doing any assignments will significantly improve your work ethic. Moreover, managing your time, planning, and making schedules will help you be more efficient and will then allow you to have more time to spend with your family and friends. Additionally, you will have much more time to relax and spend time doing the things that you want to do. Another tip about spending time with friends is planning to hang out with friends only on the weekends or on days you have finished all of your work so that you are not interfering with your schedule or schoolwork. Balancing school and your personal life can be stressful, but there are many ways to make every day a little bit easier and a little less taxing. Although some days can be really extremely hard and stressful, that’s okay because there will always be good days with your friends, and even at school! Good luck, Arya Cheesy quotes aside, music really is one of the best things we humans ever created. Different frequencies of sounds all coming together to create something that can transport you through time and space. A song can take you to the best years of your life or make you bawl your eyes out for no other reason than just the fact that you heard it.
As my life gets more and more chaotic and my emotional state less and less healthy, I always find myself turning to music. I would never go as far as to say that I am an aficionado but it's one of those things that has always played a huge part in my life. Some of my happiest memories are tied to certain songs that never fail to give me the warm and fuzzy feeling of nostalgia. Whether it's playing the same song on loop for hours on end or constantly switching genres, every two minutes, music has always played a big part in determining my mood and sometimes even how productive I am on a given day. I have spent hours just imagining the million different ways my life could be. I have conquered my biggest fears and achieved my wildest dreams in my head. I have breathed life to my stories and characters just because a song just gave me the vibe. Infact listening to an amazing playlist while writing my fanfictions is probably when I am the calmest. I’ll admit, I was late to the aesthetic music trend. A natural consequence of being me apparently cause everyone was onboard this train a long time before me. Regardless they have become a staple in life and I think they are literally the best things to ever happen like ever. Whenever I find my mood drifting towards a bad place, I always know I can find comfort in these. Whether it is my mom yelling at me, me feeling like a loser or if I am just having a bad day, there is always a playlist to help me and I am so grateful for it. From the amazing creators whose talents have honestly no bounds to the hilarious titles and stunning music choices, it's one of the most wholesome and pure communities I have found on youtube and just reading through the comment sections in one of these videos gives me hope that maybe humanity isn’t as far gone as I think. Even as I write this I am vibing to two songs I found on a playlist (interrupted by spotify ads) with rain pouring outside. It's a nice feeling. I have a mountain of work to finish but...at this moment, I feel happy. Contant. Just calm. Rainy days already give me nostalgia for reasons I can’t fathom. Add to that a beautiful playlist and it’s just….good. If I had to imagine heaven had a vibe, I hope this is what it's like. Aesthetic playlists can range from grunge to dark academia to what I can only describe as pastale. If you have an aesthetic, there is a playlist to match it. These songs can transport you to literally a time so long forgotten by you that even you might be surprised by the memories it may dig up. I am convinced that these are therapeutic on a level my brain is simply incapable of computing. These are excellent to calm you down or give you that kick of energy you were looking for. Being a night owl, I often find myself listening to these at night which produce either one of two outcomes - I end up happily drifting off to sleep or I stay up the entire night writing a novel in my head before getting side tracked by calming youtube videos and not getting enough sleep. If you aren’t convinced, here are some of my absolute favourite playlists that have been with me through thick and thin - a playlist of songs that make studying suck less - YouTube homework vibes ~ homework playlist ~ - YouTube lets go on a trip through your nostalgia, a 10's playlist ♡ - YouTube another trip through your nostalgia ( pt. 2 ) - a playlist - YouTube everything’s going to be okay ~ a comfort playlist for anxiety attacks/intrusive thoughts - YouTube indie/alt pop songs i mouth the words to - YouTube songs with ✨ emotional value ✨ - YouTube gloriously alive and causing shit; finger snappin playlist - YouTube i'm here to cause a riot; rebel revelry playlist - YouTube a playlist of songs that make studying suck less - YouTube a playlist that will make you feel like you're in a movie starring as a badass villain. - YouTube Basically these songs honestly act as a mood board for me. There is something for everyone and it's just a beautiful community. If I managed to either introduce you to this concept or a playlist that you adore, I consider it mission accomplished !!
The fear of public speaking, glossophobia, is extremely common. About 77% of the population has some level of anxiety regarding public speaking. The fear of public speaking stems from social anxiety, which is one of the many types of anxiety disorders. The fear of public speaking and social anxiety can occur in many different situations. It can come up when one is presenting something, when one is in a public setting with many people, or when one has to talk to a stranger/someone they aren’t familiar with. Social anxiety causes one to think that everyone is judging them, even with the most basic tasks. It may cause many symptoms, such as blushing, sweating, trembling, feeling a rapid heart rate, or feeling one’s mind going blank, which are all normal symptoms of glossophobia. As you probably know, in school students are required to do many presentations and other things that involve public speaking. This is a part of school that many students strongly dislike, myself included. Every time I have been assigned a presentation that needs to be presented in front of one of my classes, I have always thought of excuses to try to get out of the presentation like staying home sick on the day of a presentation or pretending to lose my voice. But I have never actually used these excuses, due to my fear of getting a bad grade if I don’t present. Whenever I have to present, I do get the common symptoms of glossophobia and social anxiety, I start excessively sweating, especially my hands, my heart rate becomes faster, my voice begins to tremble, and sometimes my mind goes blank and I forget what I have to say, so I have to start improvising. Because I start improvising, I feel that I don’t sound as intelligent as I could’ve, and then I feel like I am being judged all over again. These presentations give me a lot of stress, and every day leading up to a presentation I always feel extremely nervous, and sometimes this stress can lead to panic attacks, which are never fun. Although I have been struggling with this for a while now, I still have not gotten completely used to it, it is just something one learns to live with. Another example of when I feel a sudden rush of social anxiety is when I get called on in class without volunteering. I feel that I am being picked on and that if I don’t get the answer right I feel that everyone is judging me and talking about me in their head. Even when I do know the answer, sometimes I freeze up and start thinking about what others are thinking of me, but I have gotten better at being able to answer “normally” when this happens. Although public speaking is supposed to get easier over time I feel like it is still just as hard every time, but there are some things that I try to do to make it slightly better:
Other ways to improve public speaking, in general, is to:
The fear of public speaking is totally normal and many people experience it, so there is no reason to feel ashamed or upset about it. Although it is extremely scary at times, there are ways to help get yourself through it. Remember you are not alone and you can always ask for help. Public Speaking Tips from a Doctor: National Social Anxiety Center + Tips for Public Speaking + Links to Clinics all over the US Best of luck, Arya PLEASE NOTE: You must be 18 or over to legally use a dating website or app so please bear that in mind. Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years and it looks like that trend is only going to continue. Gone are the days of meeting someone in a bar or through a mutual friend. It's easy to see why people turn to websites like Tinder, or Match.com. It is so easy to create a profile and it allows you to meet single people outside your circles who you may not have otherwise given a second look. But online dating is also scary. With an estimated 323.9 million people using dating apps (source: Cloudwards.net) it can be really difficult to decide who to 'swipe left' or 'swipe right', so to speak. Not everyone on a dating site is going to be trustworthy and who they say they are and, certainly for women, unsolicited pictures (colloquially known as 'dick pics') are a common occurrence. But it’s not just women. Men can also feel concerned for their safety as women online can also be inclined to lie or make omissions about who they are and their life. So do the pros of online dating outweigh the cons and if so, how can you keep yourself safe? I am extremely inexperienced when it comes to dating. My first and only serious relationship was when I was 15/16 years old and it really didn't end well. I had briefly considered online dating before but I had always been scared as all I’ve ever known is the horror stories you hear about catfishes and dick pics and people just looking for sex. I knew I didn’t want that so I was very reluctant to go online, despite my godmother insisting that I needed to get out there again and give dating a chance. But, despite my reservations, I have recently taken the leap and decided to try Facebook Dating. It’s been an interesting endeavour, to say the least. I was decidedly optimistic about online dating and thought I’d met ‘the one’ the first time I matched and spoke with someone. That was my first encounter with what I call ‘the bullshitter.’ He told me he’d never met anyone like me, never felt this way about anyone and he was falling in love with me (this was all on the first date, two days after we’d started talking, can I add.) He kept saying how he couldn’t wait to put a ring on my finger and spend his life with me. Cue two weeks later, two days before our second date, he messaged me to tell me he was getting back with his ex-girlfriend… who was also pregnant with his baby. I mean - what, wow. What am I meant to do with that? Understandably, I was pretty cautious and nervous after that about getting too invested in anyone. I didn’t want to be let down yet again. In the past month or so, I have matched with many people and spoken with roughly half of them. Half of those I’ve clicked with and half of them either didn’t work out or didn’t even reply. I’ve been ghosted, sent unsolicited dirty messages and blocked for no reason at all among other strange interactions. I honestly considered deactivating my profile and just giving up again. Roughly two weeks ago, I met one of the sweetest guys I've ever encountered. He has one young daughter which is a bit scary for a 22 year old, but he is so kind and makes me feel pretty damn special - not in the way the bullshitter did though, but in a genuine way. He’s made it very clear that he’s fine with me needing to slow down and he won’t pressure me into anything that I’m not ready for or completely 100% comfortable with. It’s early days but we’ve been on three dates so far and thanks to him, I’ve regained a little bit of hope and faith in online dating. Just because I have met some horrible people doesn’t mean that everyone is horrible. There are some genuinely nice guys online, as proven by the latest guy I’ve met. Online dating is scary and yes, it can be really difficult to navigate like some kind of unsolvable puzzle. But I don't want you to write it off just because of the prospect of meeting someone horrible. So here are some tips from personal experience on how to keep yourself safe and enjoy the experience.
So whilst I encourage you to enjoy the experience of online dating if you decide to try it, I’ll leave you with this thought: be careful and stay safe. ~ Kenzie x
When it’s coming up to Summertime we all like to have something planned. That’s when a bucket list comes into action! A bucket list is when a person makes plans that they would like to accomplish during their lifetime. Summer is about creating special memories with family and friends. But who’s to say bucket lists are just for Summer? There are four seasons every year, so we can make more bucket lists! The benefits of having a bucket list are you have something to be excited about but also you can plan it out too! Also, it can make you feel motivated that you’re going to accomplish your dream! Here are some ideas for each season! Spring Bucket List;
Summer Bucket List;
Autumn Bucket List;
Winter Bucket List;
So there are just a few ideas on how to create your seasonal bucket lists! But remember these bucket lists don’t have to be big ideas they can be little ones like helping out a neighbour or taking your family out for dinner. The things you put onto your season bucket list are your personal ideas and you can complete them anytime you want! It’s fun to create seasonal bucket lists so you can have an idea of what you would like to do in the New Year. Some of the things I’d like to complete in the New Year are;
My bucket list has helped me to grow my confidence to get out more but also have a positive look at life. My future can be filled with exploring but also discovering myself more. The importance of a bucket list is to live a life with hopes and aspirations. Whilst also reflecting on our values and goals, - Mel
Despite going through different things in each of our lives, there are some aspects to life that we share—one of those regarding getting a job. Whether we’re talking about part-time or something you want to do for the rest of your life, this is something we all go through. Working is an essential part of life. To say I am very lucky to have the job I have now is an understatement. Given my circumstances, I would have been foolish to turn down a job like the one I have now. Not only does the job pay $3.75 more than the minimum wage, but it is also across the street from where I live, and it allows me to meet new people and develop more relationships (not to mention my coworker who is very easy on the eyes). I currently work at a gas station which requires me to manage the store by myself most times. Some of the requirements of my job include:
Working is not easy. There are many factors to getting and maintaining a job. While some jobs are easier to perform than others, it is important to recognize the hard work it takes for everyone to perform their job. In this article, I wish to share the process of getting my first job as well as how I am doing so far. Step 1: Looking For Jobs This was definitely harder than it sounds. I had multiple things to keep in mind as I searched for a place to work. These factors included:
Step 2: Applying/Interview Process There are plenty of websites where companies post if they are hiring. Another good tip is to search for a company you want to work for, and call/make a visit to see about applying. What I personally did was look up jobs in my area, then refined that search to a specific company to see if they were hiring. Sometimes, if a company is desperately looking for employees, they may skip your resume and immediately ask for an interview. While this doesn’t always happen, it is important to be prepared for an interview soon after applying. Personally, since the gas station needed workers, I bypassed the interview process and only had to submit a background check. While I had an easy interview process, I still recognize that most people still have to go through a vigorous process for interviews. Step 3: Training Once you have successfully passed the interview process, you will have the training to teach you the ropes. This happens with every new job you get to ensure you are able to successfully complete the tasks assigned to you. With my training, I had two phases: computer and on-the-job training. Computer training is essentially taking courses, while on-the-job is more hands-on. Some tips I have to get you through training are:
While there are plenty more things to consider when completing training, the steps listed above helped me tons getting through it. Step 4: Maintaining Your Work Performance Once you have completed training, it is now time for you to put your skills to the test. Since I work at a gas station that only allows one person per shift (with the exception of the manager and trainees) I was quite nervous to handle the customers by myself whilst ensuring the gas station is clean. Below, I have compiled some tips to help you maintain excellence, regardless of where you work.
Working is a part of life. Everybody experiences it and will have different encounters each time. While my experience won’t relate to everyone, I have compiled advice that could help in a broader sense. Getting a job is not an easy thing and will take time. Don’t feel discouraged by getting rejected, there will always be a job out there that is perfect for you. Good luck to everyone that is looking for a job or already working! Best of Luck, ~Camille
One of the worst things imaginable is waking up early, especially on days where you are allowed to sleep in. You spend hours tossing and turning, hoping sleep will eventually happen, except it doesn’t. If you have ever experienced waking up too early for your liking, you are not alone. Up until recently, I spent years waking up at 4:00 in the morning, even on weekends. This was especially bad since I ended up going to sleep too early. Some people who don’t experience this might see this more as a blessing than a curse because they are unable to wake up early without an alarm clock. However, waking up too early can be detrimental to one’s health, especially because a good chunk of teenagers go to sleep very late. Waking up too early was something that I absolutely hated about my body. Sure, I can brag about being able to rise before my alarm, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be up and about at that time. Problems that have occured to me waking up too early include:
In order to understand our bodies, and why we arise too early in the morning, it is essential that we learn about our circadian rhythm. A circadian rhythm includes physical, mental, and behavioral processes that occur in a 24-hour cycle. A healthy circadian rhythm allows you to go to sleep and wake up at consistent times. However, you still need to aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Finding a good circadian rhythm for me took years, because my body was waking up despite being constantly tired. Below, I have provided some tips that have helped me gain control of my circadian rhythm again.
Now, these may not necessarily work for you. Everyone’s body is different, so you may have to try new methods to fix your circadian rhythm. Below, I have compiled a list of even more solutions in case mine didn’t work.
Waking up early is a part of life, it is something that is necessary for everybody. However, it is possible to wake up too early. It is important to listen to your body and figure out how you can maintain a healthy circadian rhythm so you’re getting as much sleep as necessary.
Writer’s block can feel like the worst thing to overcome when you’re stuck in the middle of it. To help you get through this, I’ve come up with a list of writing prompts that could help!
My first day of 11th grade was my first day back at school in over a year. It was one of the weirdest days of my life. Being on campus with over 3,000 students again after being in only zoom classes for over a year was a dramatic change. Going back to sitting with groups of people and having normal social interactions, rather than breakout rooms with minimal interaction, while being in the comfort of your own home, in whatever clothes you want, eating whenever you want, and pretty much doing anything whenever you want, is a big change compared to in-person school. Seeing people and being surrounded with numerous others was a big change, not only literally but also emotionally. I was used to waking up for school just minutes before my first class and being half asleep throughout most of it, but being back in-person completely changed my mood in school and towards school. Overall, I felt much better and much happier, however, it was quite overwhelming going back with so many people and so many expectations. Although I am happy to be back and get back into the normal groove of things, it will take sometime. Recently, due COVID, I haven’t had to or haven’t been able to make new friends and really try to make connections, but now I do because it is important to do so. Even though being super social is not everyone’s strong suit, as it definitely isn’t mine, I found it quite easy and natural to make new friends in my classes, and just in general. One thing I thought that was interesting about COIVID and my experience throughout COVID is that I have actually become more social. I used to be extremely shy and although I still can be, I find it much easier to talk to others, although presentations and public speaking are still extremely difficult for me. But now that we are back in-person, presentations are a part of many classes and even though they can be scary, practicing and being prepared will make it easier. Another thing about being back at in-person school is getting involved in school and school activities. Dances are finally back, football games and other sports events, clubs, and even just being involved in classes. I know I am going to take full advantage of these things and be as involved as possible because I have missed so much this past year. I highly recommend getting as involved as you can with school and school activities because they are so much fun and only last a few years. Although going back to school can be crazy overwhelming, I’m so glad I am able to go back because I feel that I’ve missed crucial parts of my high school years. I’m ready to fully enjoy these next couple of years and I hope you are too!
“You have been trapped in the glass room for so long that your head is foggy, like the time when alcohol took you into oblivion. Your hand looks shrunken and your shoes look enlarged. The world from the glass room looks like it belongs to a classic black and white movie, almost fake. It seems like you are one of the characters in the movie and people with blurry, distorted faces and hoarse voices. A sigh that escapes your dry lips is slow, almost as if your brain needed that time to process the surroundings to escape the numbness. Your eyes are fixed on your contorted reflection, on the glass, that looks more unsettling than yesterday.” This, reader, is derealization and depersonalization. Derealization is a mental condition where an individual feels detached from their surroundings. While in depersonalization, an individual feels detached from themselves, as if they are watching themselves as an outsider. They aren’t just limited to feeling like being in a dream or numbness. They can be severe and can interfere with your daily life. There are various causes of derealization and depersonalization, ranging from trauma to depression and anxiety. Describing episodes of derealization and depersonalization is difficult. It can cause individuals to be occupied with checking what is real and what is not. Here are a few symptoms: For depersonalization
Majority of my day goes by sitting behind a glass observing my distorted surroundings or myself. Even as I am writing this, I feel like I am observing myself from the back and I know exactly how I look from behind. I have always felt like I am observing everything from a third person point of view, almost like an alien spying on the human world and every activity. My memories lack emotion and seem unreal. It feels like my memories aren’t mine and it is something from a movie, book, or imagination. During my episodes, time usually goes slow, voices seem hollow and my vision is foggy. I know I am going through an episode, but there is no way out of it. After the episode, I forget whatever I did during the episode. I have taken this concern to my mental health professionals. They assumed stress as the main reason behind this and would probably change my medicines to help me out. My psychologist suggested stimulating my brain by using five senses to help me out of my episode. Stimulation can range from bubble bath, music to coloring a book. She suggested I engage in physical activities and continue with the techniques she taught me during CBT. One of the best techniques to help derealization and depersonalization is mindfulness, which basically just means to be aware of your present and stimulate your brain. Here are few mindfulness techniques for when you have your episode:
Remember to keep your eyes moving and your brain working. Don’t continuously zone out on a single thought. Occupy your 5 senses! I usually carry stress toys, gum/candy and small perfumes. They help me stimulate my senses. Meditation, therapy and medications are other options you have. Remember that these episodes can last for a few minutes and even months! Visit a professional if it lasts too long and/or interferes with your daily life. Remember that you are not alone and these episodes won’t last forever. Healing isn’t linear. Zephyr. EXTRA RESOURCES https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352911 (learn more) https://cimhs.com/ (therapy for depression) https://ticktalkto.com/ (therapy with certified professionals) In this article, Nataliya Davis will be highlighting some important aspects of how to improve your mental health, explaining how to set aside some time to really think about the things that are important to us. Therefore making room for those things. Prioritizing our mental health should always be one of our main concerns day-to-day, and in general life too. Making the necessary changes in order to improve your mental health is so important, even if it's scary. Even when you are unsure Where the changes will lead you. Outside of any obligation you may have, making sure you are okay is the most important, because it's so easy to forget! I'm in a completely different mental space now, because I was committed to making those changes. Which I'll highlight a little later in this article! I'm glad I did so, but it didn't happen so easily, I finally made those adjustments after months of hesitation! Hesitation is normal. Not being sure whether or not you're making the right decision is natural. Let's go over some mental health blockers. Some things that could be affecting how you feel right now are:
Improving your mental health can also include doing things that bring you joy! Some of those things include starting new hobbies or getting back into old hobbies like:
I am also aware that doing things that we enjoy to do to improve our mental health can be just as hard as cutting off a friend, or quitting a job. We all live busy lives, and sometimes it's hard just to get in the regular things that we want to do to have fun, or pursue passions. Over the last 4 years of my life it's been a rollercoaster to evolve, and improve on my mental health, it's something that you will always have to work on! It's just a matter of making sure you never stop doing it! I've had to quit 3 jobs, I started my own small business and have slowly gotten back into my passions and joys, such as reading and writing which were some of my favorite things to do years prior! Although it wasn't easy slowly getting back to those things were some of the best decisions I've ever made. What made it a gradual process to do these things were, being in a relationship, working full time and being exhausted. In addition to that having family and friendship stress! I had to reevaluate what I needed as a person, to get back to myself, outside of everything around me! If you have a lingering thought about doing something, even if you are unsure about it in the moment - write it down! Keep lists of goals you want to accomplish to improve your quality of life! Whether it's just one or two things, it's good to start somewhere! It's okay to start small too! I have always said this in relation to making sure you are okay, "your mental well being is something you will always have to deal with for the rest of your life. It's apart of you. This is your body, and your mind. Things people say and do, Relationships with people, and jobs, will come and go." You will have to maintain your mental health forever, and you will never regret making the necessary changes to keep it in tact. So, if something doesn't feel right or safe let it go. If it's mentally and physically draining you sit and access the resources you have to make those changes. If you know there are things out there you can do that are going to make you happy, take those small steps at a time to pursue it! You will thank yourself in the longrun! Hi my name is Josh and I’m new to TWE. Seeing as I love writing and my dogs I thought why not put the two together and help you find the perfect pet pal!! Also, as this was a collaborative piece it was a great opportunity for me to meet other members of TWE and their furry friends. These two are Tiger Lily and Nala!! They're my dogs Nala (on the right) is a Shitpoo and Lily (the happy one on the left) is a Cavapoo. As these two are both quite small and fluffy dogs they are perfect for cuddling up on the sofa with. This is Menna's dog. He is a Cocker Spaniel. These dogs are very social, however if you don’t train them properly they can become very fearful. Proper training is important for all types of pets to ensure they live a happy life. This is Alex. He is a German Shepherd and he belongs to Weronika. These are large dogs typically associated with the idea of being police dogs, despite their ability to get on great within the home. This is Ebony's partner's Cockapoo called Charlie. Not only is he adorable but cockapoos are highly energetic dogs so they will need lots of mental and physical activities, to keep them constantly occupied. Kenzie has a cat who is also called Nala!! Unlike dogs, cats like their independence and so caring for one won’t be as demanding but they won’t say no to a belly rub. And lastly we have Sid the bunny who belongs to Katie. Due to their small size these adorable balls of fluff will need to be kept in a pen whilst you’re away to make sure that they don’t escape!! Choosing the correct pet is a big decision that requires lots of patience and lots of thought. But after all that work you will have found yourself a friend for life!!
- Josh Already, there’s probably some of you thinking, what IS a young carer? Without directly quoting Google, a young carer is a child, or young person who looks after someone with a physical, or mental disability. This is an umbrella term, because a lot of people think young carer and see the stereotype of looking after a parent, often in a wheelchair or with another physical disability. It’s so much more. There’s mental disabilities, there’s substance abuse, there’s so many different things to being a young carer. And they can also care for other family members, even siblings. It doesn’t just have to be a parent.
There are hundreds of thousands of young carers in the United Kingdom alone, and so many more worldwide. It’s a tiresome battle, but they’re not alone. With the support of friends, family, school and work, that’s half the battle. Being a young carer myself, if I could give any words of wisdom to people on what to do in order to help, all I would ask is to listen. We need someone to talk to, and sometimes things at home can get a bit too much. A rant, a listening ear. And compassion from work and teaching staff. Although there is some understanding, they should all be aware. Although there are negatives, in the last 5 years, so much awareness has been raised about young carers, in Scotland there’s even a grant for those between 16-18 with a caring responsibility. If you actually are a young carer, there are loads of online forums that are helpful, teachers and bosses can help, and there are Young Carers support groups, not as cliche as it sounds. My group changed my life for the better. Just remember, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. And if you aren’t actually a young carer, just try your best to support us. It goes a long way. Alicia Periods are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We must not only normalise the physical impact they have, but also the effect they have on mental health too. Instead of shaming others, we must focus on promoting love and support during this stressful time. Whether you are reading this and relate to menstruation affecting your mental health, or want to help those close to you, I hope I can offer some useful tips in tackling this monthly battle.
Over 90% of menstruating people suffer from at least one symptom of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), including headaches, feeling upset, anxiety, irritability, tiredness and bloating. Linked to this, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem similar to PMS but causes more serious symptoms, like severe irritability, depression and anxiety, and these can present themselves a week or two before the period actually starts and ease two or three days after it has begun. Yet, there is still the stigma that people on their periods are overreacting and seeking attention, even though they may be having an internal war with themselves, facing a formidable opponent to their personal growth and success. While hormones are real chemicals that affect us, the destructive thoughts they bring do not in any way represent who we are, our intelligence, our talents and our overall mental health. It is natural to feel so emotionally distressed during menstruation that you may feel you can’t get out of bed. Hopelessness may cripple you, isolating you from the happiness you may have felt the day before and the happiness that may be found in the future. I assure you, the thoughts that are engendered during this time of the month can be soothed and there is always a way for you to prepare yourself mentally, before this self-deprecating version of yourself takes your place temporarily. Before I began to question why I was feeling so despondent and angry during my period, I felt lonely and frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t control my emotions. This still happens now; sometimes I don’t even recognise who I am on my period. I find my thoughts being damaging towards my dreams, my regrets and my self courage. As someone who isn’t a stranger to ill-temper, I find that before, during and after my period, I react badly to those around me and I’ll admit, I say things I don’t mean and find no relief in slamming a door or two after an argument I caused to erupt. Feeling alone, I become restless, unable to sleep and losing passion for my interests. Finding control during menstruation isn’t a simple process and even after finding ways to cope, I sometimes find it impossible to counteract unhealthy thoughts. Imagine training to become an Olympic athlete, being dedicated to wake up early every morning and train, only to be told by your biggest supporter, AKA yourself, that you don’t deserve to succeed/ you can’t succeed/ you don’t want to. Not everyone has a lifelong ambition to become an athlete, but as humans, we strive to become better versions of ourselves, in whatever makes us happiest. Personally, I love to write, but I’ve found that on my period, I tend to doubt my writing ability and words I’ve written before suddenly seem worthless and terrible. I also find my brain trying to convince me I hate my favourite book and it can be difficult to find enjoyment in anything. This is reality; this is life, for a lot of us. But don’t be deterred from trying a few coping mechanisms, because I assure you, you don’t have anything to lose and some of these have really alleviated the symptoms I experience when on my period. How to care for yourself during menstruation:
How you can help others:
I cannot stress enough the importance of understanding mental health during menstruation, as if you’re not self-aware, you may not only hurt yourself but also hurt others. If you think you have severe symptoms, please don’t hesitate to see a doctor. There are many options out there and people who can help, such as cognitive behavioural therapy and fluoxetine- an antidepressant. If you already have a mental illness, your mental health can ameliorate during your period and you should never suffer alone. Talk to a loved one and explain how you’re feeling, as even if they don’t comprehend it now, they will once you have. We’re here at TWE to help if you ever have any concerns or doubts and honestly, contact me or anyone from the team if you ever need someone to talk to. -Nicole https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/ As gender is a social concept, meaning it has been created by society to “categorize” people, it can be very difficult for people on the autistic spectrum to understand and use it. It has been observed that there is a higher rate of struggles with gender among autistic people. By struggle, I mean not identifying with the gender you have been assigned at birth. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects a large amount of people all over the world, regardless of their origin, sex, age (as it is a life-long condition). One of the characteristics of autism is a lack or struggle of understanding social cues. This is why gender can be even more problematic for autistic people, as it is impossible to grasp for their brain. From a very young age, I always struggled with gender, as I could wear anything “male” or “female” and feel good in it. I was supposed to wear pink and dresses with flowers because of what society expected, but anything felt right to me. When I discovered the LGBT+ community, I realized I could have a different gender. It then varied from genderfluid (a person who doesn’t identify as having a fixed gender), to transgender man (a person that has a different gender to what they were assigned at birth, here, male), to non-binary (a person that identifies as neither man nor woman), and more, but I felt like nothing really was me. Now, I identify as agender, as it is the closest to what I feel, which is identifying to none gender. This article is mainly to raise awareness of the struggles with gender when you have autism, and tell my peers that it is okay if you don’t understand. And that no one can tell you that you have to look a certain way. Here are some tips to help you in your search for yourself: (some are for everyone struggling with gender, not only autistic people) Try different types of clothing, make-up, hairstyles, and see what suits you the best. Look at the definitions of different genders and see which you feel more comfortable with. (You may find less-known genders that would suit you.) Ask other people about how they perceive their gender, they may help you. Remember, no one can tell you who you are. Also, I recently discovered autigender. Autigender is a gender that was specially created for autistic people who struggle with identifying as one or other gender (or who don’t care, or don’t understand). The definition is for someone whose autism “affects” their perception of gender. I don’t really like this definition, as it feels as if autism is a problem that prevents us from understanding it. In fact, it is more that society wants us to have a gender defined that is problematic. You can also identify as autigender, even if it is less known, it is a good representation of how many of us feel! Be proud! I hope this can help you. If you need help, you can always contact a helpline. You may find the numbers for your country on the internet. In Switzerland, the number is 147. In France, it is 3114. Both are free. Overall, most of the countries possess a free helpline number. And if you are in immediate danger you can call the urgencies number. Caterpie
Growing up I was often unsure of who, or what I was supposed to be. I had a white grandmother, but dark skin. I was fluent in German, but couldn’t pronounce a single word in my mother tongue. During my primary school days, my coiled afro hair felt out of place, while at home my accent, which differed so much from the African tones of the people around me, made me feel like an outsider. During many sleepless nights I would ask myself am I black enough? and after many more sleepless nights, I finally found my answer- There’s no such thing as “black enough.” My cells produce enough melanin pigment to turn my skin, eyes, and hair dark. End of story. However, now that I’ve grown a bit, a new question plagues me: Am I queer enough? Sadly, this question can’t be answered using science, but now that I’m a little smarter and wiser, I realise that most of the things that create my insecurity regarding my queer identity are stereotypes. For those of you who are unsure of the term, stereotypes are conventional and oversimplified images or ideas of a particular type of item or person. An example of a stereotype is: All men are bad at housework. It generalises men and makes it seem as if they are unable to do housework and should therefore not bother doing it. Stereotypes are often wrong, cruel, and demoralising. For a long time, the LGBTQI+ community has been stereotyped and generalised. “Lesbians have short hair, Gay men are fashionable, Trans people are gay” and so many more stereotypes exist. As a cis femme woman people have often made me feel as if I didn’t deserve to be a part of the queer community. Simply because I didn’t “ look” queer. Or better said, because I didn't meet any of the stereotypes. But as previously mentioned, stereotypes are often wrong and oversimplified. So I asked some people here at TWE a few questions regarding their thoughts on queer and gender identity. Where on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum do you fall? Melissa: “Bisexual.” Caterpie: “Our whole system identifies as queer- two are agender, one is trans, another is demigirl, and so on… Sexuality is complicated.” J.D: “Bisexual and Gender fluid.” Astrum: “Panromantic, Asexual, Genderfluid.” J: “Transgender, Bisexual, and Asexual.” Piper: “Lesbian, Non-binary & Aroace (Aromantic Asexual).” What does being a member/ an ally of the LGBTQIA+ community mean to you? Melissa: “It means I have an identity & (that ) I can feel safe with my sexuality and not ashamed.” Caterpie: “Being open-minded and supportive.” J.D: “That I'm not afraid to be who I am.” Astrum: “A community that will support me even when others may not.” J: “(It) Means knowing I'm not alone in what I feel and go through.” Piper: “It means being a part of a community in which I can express myself and feel a little less alone with how I feel and what I go through in regards to my sexuality and identity.” How, if at all, do you represent your sexuality? Melissa: “I am very open about my sexuality, if anyone asks if I like girls etc. I will just say yes.” Caterpie: “Mess.” J.D: “I'm open about my bisexuality.” Astrum: “I like to wear flags.” J: “I'm very open and chat a lot about my experience being ace (asexual).” Piper: “I'm quite open about my sexuality, depending on who I'm speaking to. I express it much more online than I do in person since it feels safer that way.” How, if at all, do you represent your gender? Melissa: “Just normal day-to-day things.” Caterpie: “Mess.” J.D: “I’m open about being gender fluid.” Astrum: “I like to wear flags.” J: “I tell most people my preferred pronouns and ask theirs. I have a trans flag on my laptop and phone case.” Piper: “I tend to represent and express my gender identity a lot more online, but I also like to do it through the way I dress and carry myself. I often associate my gender with certain styles or interests I have.” Do you feel as if there’s a reason for your queerness? Melissa: N/A Caterpie: “We’re autistic so we don’t understand gender” J.D:N/A Astrum: “Gender” J: “Yes, men and woman existing” Piper: “I think the main reasons for my queerness are community and self-expression since those have always been a big part of my life. I also think that it allows me to support others through their journey by discovering who they love and how they identify.” Do you feel a part of the LGBTQI+ community? Melissa: “Yes, I do.” Caterpie: “Yes.” J.D: “Yes.” Astrum: “Yes.” J: “Yes.” Piper: “Most of the time! There are moments where I see a lot of discourse and disagreements around my specific sexualities and those in correlation with my identity, which sucks. But finding the parts of the community in which people listen and accept one another is always so wonderful.” These answers, just like the people who provided them, are diverse. Spanning all throughout the LGBTQI+ spectrum these answers highlight how complex and yet simple being queer can be. All of us don’t express ourselves in the same way, and neither do we need to. To answer the original question: No, you aren’t queer enough. Simply because it doesn’t give such a thing as queer enough. We’re all just people who despite our differences all feel a part of this wonderful rainbow community. I hope that this article helped answer some of your questions, and if you’d like, you can answer some of the questions above and share your answers with the rest of us, through the comment section below. We‘re all bigger than our labels (or lack thereof ). Mona If you ever need to talk to someone don’t hesitate to contact- We’re here for you Now – The Trevor Project It is not uncommon to gaze off into the distance when distracted or deep into thought. At times, our surroundings may seem blurry and noises may become quiet as we sink into our mind. However in some cases, if one feels themselves disconnecting frequently or for long periods of time, it may not be typical. The difference between simply daydreaming and dissociation is that dissociation is the lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, and one’s identity. This includes feeling detached from your environment and the people around you. This can include feeling emotionally numb and light-headed.
So why do some people dissociate? There are many reasons as to why one may disconnect. The majority of the time, it is a response to trauma, including memories of the trauma. However, it can also be a sign of mental exhaustion. Dissociation can last anywhere from hours to weeks, and can be a symptom of a mental disorder such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, PTSD, etc. Dissociation might also occur more often if one is not getting enough sleep, food, or water. Another common time when one may dissociate can be during a breakdown. One may find themself crying and hurting emotionally one moment and then suddenly stop. It may appear as though they are doing better but in reality, they have become mentally exhausted and dissociate to subconsciously attempt to “leave” the breakdown. I have experienced periods of dissociation on multiple occasions, struggling to bring myself out of it. Although these periods did not last more than a couple hours, they were challenging to deal with while trying to focus on school, or any other task I would have to complete. After dealing with short periods of dissociation, I then experienced longer periods of dissociation, that would last weeks or even months. Although I was still able to complete my daily tasks, it made simple tasks much more challenging. At times, it would feel as though I was in a dream rather than reality and I would have a difficult time feeling anything emotionally or critically thinking. Although it is challenging to focus when one is dissociated, there are ways to aid in stopping it. First, it is important to make sure that you are sleeping and eating enough as lacking to do so may cause one to dissociate more frequently. If you or a loved one experiences dissociation that is a symptom of a mental disorder or a traumatic event, therapy could greatly aid in addressing the struggles and therefore stopping dissociation. Similar to when having a panic attack, it is also important to use your five senses. Naming three things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. -Katherine Helpful Websites: https://batonrougebehavioral.com/5-tips-to-handle-a-dissociative-disorder/ (Gives tips on how to handle dissociation) I once told a friend how aromanticism taught me how to see that there were different types of love, not just platonic but also familial and romantic. There was this moment, I remember, of me saying: “Being aromantic is like seeing the world in black and white—but understanding, now, how many shades of grey there are.” The biggest grin grew on my face then, to finally explain my world. Though I do not see the world in the colors that many people in this world do, I saw many others, and they, too, are beautiful. You see, the thing about aromanticism is that because of my lack of romantic attraction, the different types of attraction there are become apparent to me. The following are some types of attraction I’ve been able to put names to, the first two being ones I do not feel:
Not to mention the fact that I’ve been able to see the different parts of romantic relationships. I see that they combine many different types of emotions, attractions, and bonds. I’ve been able to see how some people confuse different feelings for romantic feelings, and how it’s easy to think of these lumps of emotions to be romantic or platonic. The thing is that romance is experienced differently by everyone, just as different genders and sexualities are. There aren’t any check-lists of certain requirements you can check off of in order to see if something is romantic or not, you just know. And even then, we can put micro labels on certain feelings that make up romance. What I mean by this is that say you have a mix of colors that becomes brown. Brown is romance, but I can see the purples and blues, reds and yellows, greens and pinks that make up the different parts of romance. It’s hard to explain, but aromanticism has helped me see that love comes in different colors and that they vary from person to person even more. Just as I am aromantic but also polyamorous, I feel love for my partners in a way that is different from how they feel love for me. It’s like different love languages. The expression and feelings may vary, but the intimacy and love are still there. Romance isn’t everything, it’s just a piece of the human experience that, even then, isn’t all that universal! *Alterous attraction is neither inherently sexual nor romantic but can be made up of either, both, or neither. It is the want to intimately know someone. **While the experience of Queer-Platonic attraction is widespread and very different, Queer-Platonic is described by the LGBTQIA Wiki as blurring the line between romantic attraction and platonic attraction. It involves going past the typical western boundaries of friendships. Keep your head up, the sun still rises! Kalei (Mandy) Neon Helplines:
If you’ve read any of the previous TWE chest binding articles then I’m sure you’re already aware of what binding is, but for those who are new to the website, ‘binding’ is when a transgender person (usually someone who identifies as a trans-male, genderfluid or non-binary) compresses their chest to minimise their body dysphoria. Binding isn’t only for people in the LGBT+ community, binders can be used for individuals who have Gynecomastia. This is a common condition in men which causes breast tissue to swell, Gynecomastia often occurs when a man has unbalanced hormones. Binding is an excellent way of reducing body dysphoria and improving mental health. If you or someone you love is a part of the transgender community and don’t have a binder, it would be worth asking them if they require a binder. Body dysphoria can be distressing and uncomfortable, so the most beneficial thing you can do for someone who is experiencing this would be to acknowledge their preferred identification (for example, their pronouns) and understand how they’re feeling. I started to bind at a very young age, I was around 13 years old and didn’t realise how dangerous binding can be. Then, I wasn’t out to my family and the opportunity to come out wasn’t there either so asking my family to help was not a choice that I could take. Thinking back, I see myself considerably lucky to have such amazing, supportive friends during secondary school because they would always buy me new binders when I needed them but the issue with that was they were cheap! Buying cheap binders is an absolute no go for a transgender person, please do not buy binders that are under £20. They can cause a lot of stress on your body and in bad cases, binding can send you to the hospital if not done correctly. As time went on for me, I was able to fully comprehend how poorly I used to bind and how much it had changed my body, this is when I decided to consult my doctor. Once I spoke to my doctor she informed me that she was unsure about what to do but kindly referred me to the GIC (Gender Identity Clinic) in London. From that day, I’ve only ordered binders from Underworks (not sponsored!) and I can finally breathe while maintaining a much smaller chest. I still look in the mirror and smile every day. Thankfully my family is now very supportive and helps me look for new binders online, Underworks seem to be the binders that work well for me. If you’re in a situation similar to my own then you’ve already had your first gender clinic appointment and are currently waiting to see either the NHS clinic or waiting to have your second appointment. For those of you who are still waiting for their initial appointment, I strongly recommend preparing yourself, they will do a physical examination of your chest area. This will feel daunting and uncomfortable but these examinations are necessary to ensure that you are staying healthy while binding. Here's the fun! Choosing your binder. The most common websites to buy a binder is either gc2b.co or underworks.com, my personal favourite is Underworks but a lot of transgender people go to gc2b for their binders. The only difference between these two websites is that gc2b binders are specifically designed for trans people whereas Underworks is for those with Gynecomastia. GC2B has so many different styles and colours to choose from so take your time while browsing the online store, remember to use a tape measure to accurately measure your chest and get the correct sized binder. GC2B has lots of great advice on their website on how to measure properly. Please do not guess or get a size too small, this can cause major health issues, both short and long term but no not be scared off by this, just be safe. Binding is safe when done properly! Tips on binding, I have scoured the internet for the best tips on chest binding so you don’t have to:
If you wear a binder and you get nausea, bruising, panic attacks, claustrophobic feelings, sharp pains in the chest, very fast heart pace, not being able to breathe, dizziness or fainting take off your binder and consult a doctor. These are not normal so please don’t ignore it if you have any of those symptoms. Binders can make you a little sore and feel somewhat tight but that is completely normal as long as you’re wearing the correct sized binder. Remember to stay safe while binding and to discuss your options with a close family member or friend, this is so important as you will have someone to talk to if you begin to have any issues with your transition. If you have any further questions about binding, feel free to get in contact by selecting ‘Contact Us’ at the top of the website. Stay home and stay safe. -Cody Useful Links: https://www.underworks.com/ https://www.gc2b.co/ https://www.ftmessentials.com/ (18+) https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/ https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/mens-health/what-is-gynaecomastia/ Discovering who you are can be a tough journey to go on, but it is one that is needed to accept yourself. For me, it was a scary path to walk but it brought out my true self. Seeing the pride events over the years that have been held worldwide has motivated me to be who I truly am. Seeing all the people who attend these pride events just opens your eyes to how many people are like you! When I first came to terms with my sexuality of being bisexual, I thought it was just a phase. But, it was not! I’m proud to be bisexual and if anyone makes a negative comment towards me then I’ll just stick up for myself. My first pride event that I attended was in London. I met up with my friends and we got all glammed up: makeup is done and colourful outfits on! We wanted to express who we were through our looks! But it was all about making new friends and enjoying ourselves. At the pride event, I made lots of new friends that I class as my close friends now! Just being colourful is what I love and the friends I made loved that too! We connected on so many levels and we accepted each other, that’s what mattered most to me! But how has pride helped me? It’s allowed me to discover who I am, it’s built my confidence and also let me accept myself for who I am. 5 years ago, I was a completely different person; I disliked who I was and I didn’t accept myself. If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self I would give them this advice, ‘Never let yourself be dragged down for who you are. Your sexuality is what makes you and if people dislike that then you need to cut contact with them’. Pride has shown me that acceptance is the key to happiness. Like I said before 5 years ago, I was a different person but now, I realise that I am me for a reason. No one else can be you, no one else has your characteristics or talent the way you do. It’s given me the chance to try new things and rediscover my identity. I’ve done things that pushed me outside of my comfort zone. Doing what I love once again, after years of punishing myself, I can finally just let it go. -Mel The LGBTQ+ Community has gained more attention and exposure over the past few years. An important part of this community which I find is still often misunderstood and is still discriminated against by many is the B: bisexual. I am a cisgender biseuxal woman. This means that I was born as a woman, identify as a woman, and am attracted to both men and women. For me, this also includes trans men and trans women as well as nonbinary people. This can be different for all bisexuals though. I have always known I am cisgender but I haven't always known I am bi. For around 12 years of my 21 year life, I thought I was 100% heterosexual. I found women pretty but I didn't recognise that as sexual romantic attraction to women. The first time I actually fancied a girl was in school when I was around 12/13 and I freaked out. I went through a phase of asking out every boy I found even remotely attractive just to make sure everyone thought I was straight and only attracted to boys. Of course that wasn't true, but I still didn't actually acknowledge that I was bisexual until I was 15. Now, at 21, I have no problem with my sexuality. I am happy with myself and who I am, as are most of the people I love. But I do notice that anyone who I tell tends to have questions. Sometimes they are personal questions like how did I know I was bisexual or have I ever been with a woman. Other times, they are general questions like what is bisexuality or what is the difference between bisexual and pansexual. I always try to educate people as much as I am able to when they have questions. So I thought I'd compile a list of some of the most Frequently Asked Questions I get about bisexuality and being bisexual and answer them for you, in case anyone reading this article is questioning their own sexuality or would like to find out more. 1) How do you know you are bisexual if you have never been with a women? The way I always respond to this question is 'how do you know you're straight if you've never been with a member of the opposite sex?' The answers I often get include things like finding them attractive, fancying someone of that sex, feeling arousal towards certain people, fantasising about someone of that sex etc. etc. Well it is the same for bisexual people. We know we're bisexual because we find both sexes attractive. We fancy both sexes. We can feel aroused or fantasise about someone of either sex. The way you know you are straight is the same way we know we are bisexual. 2) Does this mean that you date men and women at the same time? No. Being bisexual doesn't mean that we date men and women at the same time or that we are likely to date more than one person at once. Bisexuality and polygamy are not synonymous with one another. Some bisexual people may be polygamous and date more than one person at any one time, but other bisexual people, such as myself, may be monogamous and only ever date one person at a time. It just means the person we date can identify as a man or a woman or none of the above. 3) What is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? The difference between the two is a topic which is quite widely debated and very misunderstood. Different people define it differently. One pansexual person I have spoken to said 'bisexuality is when you are mostly sexually attracted to two or more genders whilst pansexual is when you are attracted to people regardless of gender.' but another pansexual said 'pansexuality is a branch of bisexuality in which spans across all genders nonwithstanding and equally.' From my understanding, pansexuality is more about the personality than gender. So a pansexual is attracted to the personality of the person regardless of their genitals whereas a bisexual is attracted to the gender first and the personality second. 4) Aren't you attracted to everyone then? Again, no. Think of it this way. Because you are heterosexual, does this mean you are attracted to every single person of the opposite sex? No, of course not. The same goes for bisexual people. Though we can be attracted to any gender, we are still only attracted to certain people, regardless of them being a man or a woman or any other gender. We are attracted to those we find aesthetically or emotionally attractive, just like anyone else is. 5) What do people mean when they talk about bi-erasure? Is it a real thing? The term 'bi-erasure' refers to the act of ignoring, explaining away, or otherwise dismissing bisexuality in culture, media, or history. It can also relate to someone denying that bisexuality exists or saying it isn't real in its most extreme form. Unfortunately, it absolutely is a real thing and absolutely still exists today in modern society. Sometimes bi-erasure comes from heterosexual people but sometimes it even comes from other members of the LGBTQ+ Community. Bisexuality can be seen as being greedy, hiding somewhat so we can still enjoy 'heterosexual privilege', blurring the lines between gay and straight or trying to weaken the lesbian or gay movement. This just isn't true at all - we're just people looking for love and it's as simple as that to understand. If there are any questions that you have which I haven't answered, please feel free to comment below or send me a message and I'll be happy to answer them for you. Please remember that being bisexual is completely okay. There is nothing wrong with it. It isn't weird. It isn't abnormal. You aren't wrong or abnormal either. You don't have to pretend. You are perfect just the way you are - just be you. If you would like to learn any more about bisexuality or anything addressed in this article or need any support, here are some useful websites: Bisexual.org - https://bi.org/en #StillBisexual - http://stillbisexual.com/ Stonewall - https://www.stonewall.org.uk/ The BeYou Project - https://thebeyouproject.co.uk Bustle '5 Myths About Bisexuality Which Contribute To Bi-Erasure' - https://www.bustle.com/p/5-myths-about-bisexuality-that-contribute-to-bi-erasure-2418689 ~ Kenzie x
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