‘You are not like other girls.’ This statement may be controversial, but it is important to discuss everything that is wrong with the so-called compliment. Time and time again, many people have used this sentence in an attempt to compliment girls - but it means quite the opposite. Compliments are supposed to make you feel better about yourself without putting others down.
Let us start by analyzing the statement. Firstly, it is setting up a negative picture for the woman by telling her that her gender is bad, but she is different. In addition, it might set up ideas about gender norms when there are actually no such things. Not only is this statement and its intent both sexist and misogynistic, but it also can lead to internalized hate. Anything you or a woman does should always be your/their choice for your/their benefit - not to satisfy gender stereotypes. It might not seem like a huge deal, but it is small things like these that have a great impact as a whole. It may also give a wrong idea of what feminism actually means.
Every girl - I repeat every girl - is beautiful and unique in her own way. So the next time you want to compliment her/them, rather than saying this back-handed statement, tell her that she is smart, funny, pretty or fun to be with. Let us know if you have ever been told this so-called compliment!